What About Love?
by La Vita Nuova
Summary: When faced with a chance to finally get revenge, would you take it? And what if someone innocent could end up as collateral damage? Can Bella finally let go and admit love doesn't need to be a curse?
1. Incoming

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the properties of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**March 2009**

"Seth, where are the numbers for February? I asked for them ten minutes ago?"

Isabella Swan was busy replying to the urgent emails that had been building up since the morning, when something crumpled landed in the middle of her meticulously organized desk. She looked down at it in frustration and disgust. She had hired Seth as a favor to Peter, doing something she hadn't tried in years and now she knew the experiment was officially a disaster. Unless the kid got his shit together quickly, it simply wasn't going to work out. Internally, she'd justified to herself that she didn't have the time to be a babysitter, but in reality, she just didn't possess the patience. He was busy looking at anything but his intimidating boss, with his innocent little baby face and though he didn't know it, she was barely, just barely, holding back from rolling her eyes.

Scrunching up the paper into a ball, she threw it mercilessly at his feet.

"Print me a new one and pick that up."

It was doubtful whether he realized just how lucky he was when the phone rang, interrupting her train of thought. A particularly tight deadline this week had left simply no excuses for taking ten minutes to print out a basic report. Her fingers itched to just do it herself, but after working her way through three assistants in two years, the company heads were beginning to take notice and she wasn't about to be seen as a failure because of someone else's mediocrity. So she would suffer until the imbecile learned how to perform tasks a trained seal could do in half the time.

She lifted the phone from it's receiver and delivered her usual clipped greeting.

"Bella, what do you have planned for lunch?"

Pulling up her calendar she sighed.

"I have meetings all day starting in twenty"

Just another thing she was going to have to talk to Seth about. How he expected her to make it from the office all the way uptown in ten minutes, was completely beyond comprehensible.

"Who is your meeting with in twenty?"

Moving her mouse over the block to pull up the details, she smiled broadly

"Vicky, you angel!"

She hung up and called Seth back into the office, ten minutes might not be enough time to get across town, but it was plenty to give him a piece of her mind.

Arriving at Demetri's at exactly twelve, she immediately spied Vicky's distinctively vibrant red hair peeking out from one of the booths. Ignoring the maitre d', she made her own way across the restaurant, he was clearly a newbie. As he fumbled around looking for her name, reminding her annoyingly of her own incompetent assistant.

"Bella! You're on time and you look lovely of course"

Bella's teeth were clenched at the hidden insult, but a beautiful smile was all that her companion ever saw. Since she couldn't hold down an assistant for longer than ten minutes, it was common knowledge she quite frequently late to meetings.

"Oh her gosh Vicky, look at you, you're positively huge. You must be close now."

Bella savored the shiver of triumph she felt when her friends smile faltered for just a fraction of a second, but Vicki was too well versed in bitch for her to ever win this battle.

"I wish, but of course you get so much bigger with Twins, at least all this discomfort will be worth something someday, I think it's so nice to know they'll always have each other after all."

Bella's mask was so carefully constructed, Victoria would probably never know without meaning it, her response had struck a chord buried so deep that it resonated throughout her entire being.

Years of Victoria had taught her quite a few things, but Bella really couldn't see her caring enough about her former subordinate to go digging through her past. Seeing no hint of anything malicious in her face, Bella tried to lay her paranoia firmly aside. After all she had never spoken to anyone at work about anything resembling a home, or a personal life and if she had her way about it, she never would.

The waiter came and took their order and they fell into their usual easy lines of conversation. Work, work and then just as a little piece de resistance, more work. Six years ago Bella would have fought vehemently if someone had told her she would become just like the woman across from her, but Victoria was now someone she considered kindred. She wasn't ashamed to admit her own career had been modeled around Victoria's no bullshit attitude and she hadn't looked back since. She knew how she was perceived by the others in the office, but effectively didn't give a damn. After all they were the ones who came in sniveling about their divorces and dead cats, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't contain her wry smiles when their work inevitably suffered accordingly. Bella was proud to say she hadn't had a sick day in her six year tenure and she now had the corner office, title and paycheck to back up her choices.

"So I've been doing some thinking and I don't think I'm coming back after my maternity leave."

Bella's eyes shot up, and in her shock, her fork fell from her hand where it clattered loudly, falling from the table to the wooden floor. She was still sitting there in slack jawed silence, when a waiter came to deliver a new one.

"This is a joke right?"

But the sickening blush of happiness on Vicky's cheeks told her it was anything but.

"No. Jay and I have been talking about it and he's in a decent position right now to support us all. I know you won't understand this Bella, because I wouldn't have either at your age, but I'm going to say one thing to you and then I promise never to speak of it again. I might be the only one, but I can still remember the frightened little deer that came into the office all those years ago. Something changed in you and whatever it was got you where you are today, but it doesn't need to be this and nothing else. I thought that way for a long time, but I was wrong. You're young and beautiful Bella, you can have it all if you want it."

She took a deep breath and seemed ever so pleased with herself, but the glow on her face only seemed to add to the nauseous feeling Bella was trying to suppress. How had the strong woman she'd modeled her instincts on, turned out to be so weak?

Victoria sat there staring and Bella got the impression that her old mentor was looking for some sort of gracious reaction, but she had nothing to say. Of course it wasn't this or nothing, Bella thought, it was this or sharing her life with people who would cheat, lie and disappoint her at every juncture.

"Dessert?" Bella said briskly.

Vicky tried to mask the sadness she felt to see the once innocent girl dismiss what she felt were wise words so easily. Time, she thought, time would show the girl everything that she was missing.

The rest of Bella's week was perfectly perfunctory, meetings with asinine authors who all thought their story was the greatest ever told, lunches with executives who kissed her ass, lunches with executives who's asses she kissed and of course more meetings to round out the days.

By Friday she knew that the rest of the staff was more than ready for the week to be over. So at five pm she smiled as the tired, lazy faces of her Acquisitions Editors trundled into her office. She knew for them this was something to be endured, but for Bella it was the highlight of her week. Knowing she wasn't well liked in the department was irrelevant in her mind. Her opinion was well respected and that was all she cared about.

The afternoon wore on, but the review was more productive than usual and three works seemed to show some real potential. She could clearly remember how it felt to be championing something she truly believed in and the taste of bitterness when Victoria hadn't noted that passion. Trust of judgment was imperative at this level and unlike Victoria, Bella didn't need her subordinates to prove their persistence to her. She could see it in their eyes and liked to believe it was one of the reasons she was doing this job three years before Victoria had even been considered for the position in her own career.

Her cell phone rang out from its docking station, interrupting a presentation made by one of the newest AE's. Bella reached out and hit ignore, not looking to the display for the caller ID. While she could see in Tyler's eyes he was only pitching the book to her out of necessity, he was young and needed the experience of articulating his arguments, so she let him go on for slightly longer than usual before dismissing the group. The six faces all showed similar looks of relief and Bella briefly wondered and not for the first time, if it was predominantly her presence that evoked such a reaction.

Hitting send on the final email of the day, she reclined back in her plush leather chair, passing a brief look at her watch. At almost eight o'clock it was more than likely Isabella Swan was the last person left in the office, more likely for it being the start of most people's weekend. She picked up her cell phone and dialed back through the missed calls from earlier in the day. Several business numbers she recognized and one private number. Her mind raced to one specific person who would want to catch her unawares, but she didn't want to jump the gun. Instead of shutting everything down and listening to her messages as she usually did while treading through the darkened hallways, she sat straight up in her chair and hit the ominous little green button on the phone. Several familiar droning voices filled her ears, before finally the hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention; as an altogether too familiar voice sang out from the small tinny speaker.

"Bella, it's Alice. I know you'll probably just ignore this, but I just thought you should know. I'm moving to Chicago. Before you say anything, it had nothing to do with you. I'm moving there with my fiancé. Anyway, I'll be there from the 15th and would love to see you, if you can fit me into your busy schedule."

Bella listened as her sister laughed nervously at something she obviously thought was a joke and then proceeded to reel off the cell number that she still knew by heart. Rubbing her hands across her face, she didn't care about the perfectly applied makeup she may be smudging, or the strands of hair currently being dislodged from the regimented uniform bun she wore everyday.

Alice was moving to Chicago.

Alice was moving to Chicago in ten days.

Alice was moving to Chicago in ten days and she was engaged.

Bella looked around her polished office and cursed herself for being so efficient. She needed something to remove the Alice images from her mind and the only thing that typically worked on these occasions was to delve head first into work. Rationally she couldn't sit here all night, from experience she knew it would only be thirty minutes or so until the cleaning crew showed up and the idea of enduring any awkward fake pleasantries right now was too much. Instead, she grabbed the three manuscripts the review team had left behind and bundled them into her messenger bag.

As the elevator dropped her off on the ground floor, she revised her walk home to include a stop by the Italian two blocks in the opposite direction, and then revised to again to bypass the liquor store. Alcohol wasn't something she allowed herself often, it just wasn't worth it for the emotions that seemed to be dredged up, but tonight was definitely a bottle of wine night. Scrap that, she thought, as the rhythm of her heels rang out ferociously against the sidewalk, it was a night worthy of two bottles.

The walk home was bitter and cold, but at least the skies had held back until she was safely inside her opulent apartment. She forced the first glass of wine past the knot in her throat, as she flicked rapidly through the hundreds of channels she paid for but never watched. The second glass went down with less trouble and by the third Bella was no longer walking back and forth to the fridge for refills with the poise she had previously possessed. When the television had offered nothing of sustenance, she had finally settled on a gory horror film, the kind she would never normally consider watching alone, but even the predictable scares couldn't invade the barricade of her thoughts.

It wasn't the pain she had expected to feel knowing Alice would soon be so close. It was anger. What right did her sister have to invade the one place in the entire country that was completely hers. It would now be eternally marred. Bella could feel herself bristling at the idea of no longer being able to enjoy the things she loved without looking over her shoulder for the ghosts of her past.

By the fifth glass of wine, she had decided it would be impossible to live in the same city as Alice, making plans to call Kate in the morning to see if there were any openings in the New York office.

By the sixth, she had obstinately decided Alice wasn't going to drive her from another home, no, she would confront her.

And by the remains of her second bottle, Bella had decided that confronting her wouldn't be enough. She was going to ruin Alice's life, after all wasn't that only fair!


	2. Innocence

**a/n: I just want to dedicate this to Deedlez01, she is an absolute star! She suffers my insane ramblings at all hours of the day and has read more reworkings of this chapter than anybody should ever have to! **

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**1996 - Freshman Year Forks High**

"You've made a mistake there"

A pen tapped down on the fastidiously written notes in front of her. It only took a few seconds for the brown haired girl to ascertain that the pen was in fact correct and when she did, she internally flinched at seeing her own errors pointed out by someone else. Balling up the paper and pushing it to the edge of the desk, she turned over to a fresh sheet, unable to bring herself to hand in something that would now have thick black lines all over it.

The pen was all but forgotten, until it began tapping rhythmically against the wooden table top next to her. She didn't look up though, instead she reached out to silence it blindly. With her vision obscured by a wall of hair, she didn't see the boy pull back the pen each time her flailing arm got too close, or the amused smirk on his face, knowing he was the very source of her irritation; as he played his juvenile game. Her thoughts were elsewhere and she reminded herself to keep focused, knowing she needed to hand in this assignment in time. A bell pierced through her concentration and her hand furiously scribbled the last three lines. It wasn't the usual methodically neat work she was known for, but it was better than the scribbled out error filled mess it could have been.

She hurriedly gathered her books and lifted her head, the air rushing through her lungs in a gasp; she wasn't alone. Gloriously green eyes, partially hidden behind thin glasses, were staring at her in obvious amusement. She didn't have time to really contemplate them, when from the corner of her eye she caught Mr. Banner making strides to leave the room. Everything else was forgotten as she rushed to catch up with him, shoving her assignment on top of the pile of papers in his hand.

"Cutting it very close there Miss. Swan"

Bella shouted out an apology over her shoulder, as she sped from the laboratory, tearing down the hallway in an effort to reach her next class on time. Something about Tuesdays just didn't sit right with her, and if she didn't hurry she would be late for Art Class; for the third time in as many weeks. Rushing through the door, she let out a sigh of relief when she noted that Miss. Jackson hadn't arrived yet. Flopping down next to Alice, she tried to discretely catch her breath, knowing her sister would tease her mercilessly about her level of fitness, especially if she heard such obvious wheezing from barely four minutes of exertion.

"Hey Belly, how was Mr. Banner? Did you get your assignment done?"

Pulling her sketch pad out, Bella turned to face her sister with a wry smile on her face.

"Yeah, no thanks to you!"

Alice rolled her eyes, knowing just how much the action would annoy Bella.

"Oh come on Belly, it was so worth it, that movie was amaaazing"

Neither were aware they had acquired an audience, until they heard Michael Newton's broken voice interrupt their casual banter.

"What did you guys see?"

Bella felt a sharp pain as Alice's pointy elbow obviously hit the middle of her ribs, but she only managed a couple moments of silence, before the tension became too much and she broke.

"Umm we saw Fly Away Home."

Hearing Alice groan next to her, Bella lifted her eyes, throwing her sister the most apologetic eyes she could muster without being too obvious. The girls had pinky sworn to ignore Mikey the next time he tried to speak to them, but Bella just couldn't do it. It was just too mean and she couldn't truly believe it was his fault he didn't know when he was being annoying.

"You guys saw it too?"

And so she was stuck in an awkward conversation, while Alice sat next to her pretending quite impressively that he didn't exist. Bella wasn't even really sure she'd liked the movie all that much, but here she was enduring a scene by scene playback, as if it were the best thing in cinematic history. Were it not for Miss. Jackson's screeching voice calling the class to attention, she just might have fallen asleep.

Art was the only class Alice and Bella had together. Charlie, the girls father, had requested to the administration his daughters share the least number of classes together as possible. While both had fought and cried against the restriction, Charlie had been adamant, claiming their codependency would only prove to be a hindrance in the long run. Three weeks into their Freshman year of High School and now the tears had dried, Bella was beginning to see the advantages of the arrangement. Art was pretty much the only subject where she barely got anything done and she couldn't help but attribute that to her sisters inability to keep quiet, or still, for more than thirty seconds at a time.

Relief rang out through then entire class when the final bell of the day sounded and the room full of teenagers considered themselves free once again. Alice linked her arm through Bella's and practically skipped the two of them out to the front of the school. Just as they were about to start for home, Alice remembered something she had left in her locker, leaving Bella to walk on alone. She had only taken a few steps when something caught her attention; those green eyes were calling to her from across the asphalt. She slowed her pace, but kept her eyes fixed with his, trusting that Alice would be with her soon enough. She couldn't put her finger on what it was about him, but it felt like the crowd of people had parted in waves to give room for green eyes and herself to remain locked in their stare down. Cursing loudly, she righted herself quickly after tripping over something unknown in her pathway. She could faintly hear Alice chuckle behind her, but was too distracted to care. Turning back around, she was disappointed to see the crowd had moved to obscure those piercing eyes from her vision. She lamented the loss of his attentions, but barely had any time to consider the emotion, before Alice was pulling her back to the here and now, as she linked their arms and began the daily ritual of recounting the tales from her day.

Bella loved the twenty minutes it took the girls to walk home, by the time they could finally escape the cold and most likely wet Washington air, all talk of school was done. Bella reciprocated and told Alice all about her day, but for once she didn't tell her everything. Never having kept a secret from her confidant before, she was just about to tell her about her green eyed boy, when she inexplicably paused. Reasoning internally that she wanted just one more day with him all to herself, she decided not to share him like they did everything else.

The next day she'd been expecting everyone to be abuzz with the new addition to the student body, but it seemed he was lucky to arrive when he did. Only three weeks into the start of a new school term and for a new student in a small town, it was hard to understand how he had gone by seemingly unnoticed. He was everywhere for her, but for the rest of the world his strange bronze hair and pale complexion seemed to fade into the florescent lights and grey hallways.

She was beginning to feel a little guilty for keeping her obsession for him from Alice, when a sudden blanket of anxiety fell over her. Looking around the lunchroom to see the source of the strange emotion, her eyes eventually fell upon her sister. Alice's mouth was still, which was worrying in itself, but the squint of her eyes as she silently appraised Bella was something else.

"What are you hiding?"

Bella thought about playing dumb for a minute, but after fourteen years by her side, she knew it would be useless. Alice's eyes followed hers to a large table with a lonely occupant; the object of her new obsession.

"He was in my chem class with Mr. Banner yesterday, I don't know anything about him."

She didn't need to look up to know that Alice would be sporting her trademark glint of mischief. Immediately after the words had left her mouth, Bella knew they were wrong, she just didn't know anything about him _yet. _

She didn't notice that Alice was no longer by her side. Her mind had been elseware and only when her eyes drifted back across the room, did her mouth pop open in surprise; green eyes was no longer alone. Looking to her right, she confirmed it wasn't just a trick of the light, or something equally stupid. Her head whirled back around in an instant to watch her sister laughing with green eyes, about who knows what. She immediately turned her eyes away from the scene unfolding in front of her, when a pang of something rotten and horrid erupted in the pit of her stomach.

Bella had her eyes locked on the fork she was using to shuffle the cardboard food around her plate, when she felt herself being jostled as Alice sat back down. It was a automatic reaction to lean her head towards Alice in a conspiratorial manner, when she began to whisper.

"His name is Edward Cullen, his daddy is the new surgeon at Forks General and they just moved here from Chicago."

Bella tried not to look, but something was pulling her eyes upward and she wasn't strong enough to resist. Green eyes, or Edward as he was apparently known to the majority of the populace, was moving his eyes comically back and forth between Alice and Bella. It was pretty much the norm as far as first time reactions went, but she still couldn't help the giggle that passed between her lips.

"You didn't tell him there were two of us?"

Bella looked to Ali, who was also basking in his obviously shocked reaction. She knew what he would see, from their pristine white socks, all the way up to the color of their hair clips, there was only one word which fit the Swan sisters; identical.

"Nope. When he called me Bella I just went with it. Anyway, it's always more fun this way."

It took eight more chem classes and a project on sedimentary rock before she could call him her friend, but no matter how much she wished it, they could never seem to make it beyond that.

**1996 - Senior Year Forks High**

"Belly…"

She looked up from her books to see Alice flipping her long dark brown curls over her shoulder and fixing her lip gloss in the mirror. Happy with what she saw, she whirled, her tiny skirt twirling in the air with her. Bella didn't need to tell her she looked beautiful, when the poise of Alice's neck and confidence in her eyes already spoke the words for her.

"Belly, I need the room tonight, Riley's coming over to help me study and I can't concentrate with you fidgeting like you do."

Alice was already sweeping up the mountain of books into her petite arms, before her sister even had a chance to protest.

"Hey….at least make sure you keep the page?"

Gathering her highlighters and sighing pointedly, Bella trudged downstairs to the kitchen table to find her books already laying in a hapless pile. She turned to yell at Alice for not keeping the page as she'd requested, but didn't bother when she caught the sound of their shared bedroom door slamming upstairs.

It took ten minutes to get everything set up exactly how she liked it, before Bella could shut out the world again. She didn't know exactly what kind of 'studying' Alice was planning on doing upstairs, but with their final exams coming up before winter break, she didn't have time to argue with her sister about anything so trivial, not least her poor taste in boys.

The sound of the doorbell broke through her concentration and Bella threw down her pen angrily, before dragging herself from the chair. By now the drill was known to all in the Swan household, Ali wouldn't open the door to anyone, apparently it just wasn't cool, so unless she wanted to spend the next however long listening to the doorbell ringing and Alice shouting, it was best just to get this over with.

Pulling open the door, Bella wasn't surprised to see Riley McCarty grinning at her from under his no doubt steroid induced mass of muscles. What Ali saw in this creep was beyond her, but she was of the inclination that it had more to do with the big yellow C on his letterman jacket than his failing charm or wit. Turning back to the kitchen without a word, she left him to his own devices, it wasn't his first time at the rodeo, he could find his own way.

Three hours of studying, six interruptions and a headache later, Bella was frustrated, angry and ready for bed. The only problem now lay in that Ali and her football stud were still _studying_ upstairs. It was at times like this she desperately wished Charlie worked a nine to five, instead of the irregular hours he kept as the local Chief of Police. But she also enjoyed the freedom his career choice gave, so she didn't entertain the thought for too long.

Curling up on her favorite lounger, Bella pulled out her copy of Dante's Inferno, the assigned reading for her next term AP English. It was heavy work, but with the obligatory annual Christmas visit to Renee in her hippy commune coming up, she was grateful for any time afforded to read the damned thing. Only two pages in, she was interrupted for the final time when an Elephant barreled it's way down the stairs and through the front door. It wasn't surprising when he didn't even acknowledge her presence, Riley McCarty wouldn't know manners, even if they were dressed in pigskin and hurtling towards his face. He was every stereotype conceivable and that irked Bella for one reason; if he was, then in all likeliness her sister was too.

"Hey Ali Cat, how'd the studying go? Did Riley finally figure out what comes after D and before F?"

Bella walked in the room and immediately wanted to roll her eyes at her sisters flushed cheeks and rumpled uniform. She held back though, because at least her bed didn't show any signs of extra curricular activities.

"Ha Ha Belly, very funny"

Ali skipped from her bed and changed in her sleep sweats and cami, while Bella did the same. Night time rituals were adhered to and in a unconscious moment, the girls slid into their beds in a synchronized move.

"Seriously though Ali, have you studied at all?"

Slight shuffles could just about be discerned from across the room, as Alice lifted her head to rest on her hand.

"Belly, now why would I do a silly thing like that, I don't know why you spend all of your time buried in books when you do just fine without them."

As much as she wanted to deny it, it was the truth. Both Swan girls were naturally intelligent, and that would be fine for Bella if she was looking for B's with the occasional A. In her instance however, she was looking for perfection.

"I need to Ali, if she have any chance of…"

But Alice cut Bella off before she could continue…

"I know, I know, Harvaaaard"

The laughter peeled out between them at Alice's ridiculously pretentious British accent.

"Oh I forgot, Riley is having a crazy party this weekend at his house, and you have no excuses this time Belly, no more exams, no more school, what do you say?"

Bella was coming up with a million reasons in her head for why she didn't want to party with Riley and his friends, before Alice whispered out,

"Cullen will be there"

She was immediately glad of the darkness, even if Alice could make out her silhouette from across the room, it would be impossible to see the fire burning across her cheeks.

Bella had been in love with Edward Cullen since she had first laid eyes on him during their Freshman year and while Alice enjoyed teasing her sister about her unwavering support of all things Cullen, she'd always been supportive, even if she couldn't understand the attraction. Alice had tried unsuccessfully to convince her twin that she was more than worthy of his affections, but somehow Bella knew that he simply didn't feel the same way and preferred having him in her life in some capacity, rather than none at all. She hadn't known it when they had first met, but along with his hypnotic green eyes, the boy was a genius. For two years, she alone had been the only one to appreciate all things Cullen, but something had happened the summer between Sophomore and Junior year. He'd spent the summer traveling through Europe with his parents and while he left a boy, as clichéd as it sounded, he returned a man. His gangly limbs had bulked out, cheekbones had protruded from who knows where and suddenly his fan club had gone from one, to two hundred, overnight.

Somewhere, in the mix of him becoming the school's star Wide Receiver and an all around lothario, he and Bella had remained friends. And it only served to make her love him all the more. The sound of Alice's slight snores broke Bella from her Cullen reverie and she knew that without a doubt she would be attending that party come hell or high water.

The week passed in a blur and by Friday she was exhausted, her body running on pure adrenaline. Bella's sleep had been fitful, like it always was during times of stress, but exams were finally over and for once she was really looking forward to letting her hair down. It had taken a full week to convince Angela to come with her to the party and even then, she'd only agreed under the promise Bella would remain glued to her side at all times. It wasn't ideal, but Bella figured as soon as her friend saw Ben Chaney hanging around, her Siamese twin act would no longer be required.

With no game to cheer, Alice had insisted that she would be helping Bella get ready for the evening and while it wasn't her usual style, she was actual looking forward to some Swan sister bonding time.

"C'mon Belly, we only have three hours to get ready"

Bella looked at her watch, which kept precision time and turned back to the ball of energy flitting around the room.

"Ali Cat, we only have an hour, the party starts at eight"

Alice didn't slow down, so her laugh rang out all from around the room, as she carried on searching for whatever it was she was looking for.

"Oh, Belly, have I taught you nothing? Why don't you just relax and let your infinitely wiser older sister teach you the ways of the world."

Bella batted away the pillow that came hurtling towards her head.

"Firstly, please don't call me that and secondly you're six minutes older than me Ali, I don't think six minutes offers you too much in the wisdom stakes."

"Well _Belly_, I'm wise enough to know that only the Mike Newton's of the world show up to parties on time."

Watching in the mirror, Bella smiled as Alice sidled over to her with a mammoth box of cosmetics in hand. It would have been fearful to see that glint in the eye of anyone else, but Ali loved nothing more than to make the world beautiful.

"Now you just sit back, keep the complaints to a minimum and lets show Cullen what he's been missing out on."

It hurt to know that he already knew what he was missing out on. If he didn't like Bella's staple uniform of jeans, various tees and carelessly pulled back hair, all he had to do was look to her left and see Alice in all her fashionista glory and viola. Okay so Alice's hair was about six inches longer, but apart from a tiny beauty spot on her cheek and a half inch in height, that was about it as far as the differences between Alice and Bella went, physically anyway.

Two hours later, the girls had been primped and preened to within an inch of their lives. Angela, who had arrived an hour ago had watched on in fascination as Alice turned Bella from herself, into, well, Alice. Both looked identical on an average Tuesday, but this was almost ridiculous, even Angela thought she would have a hard time telling the two apart. It had been two years since Alice had stopped dressing them both in an identikit manner and so Bella was about to protest her outfit being chosen for her, until she saw the clothes Alice had set out on her bed. It wasn't the short dress or skirt she had expected, instead there laid Bella's favorite jeans, knee length boots and an off the shoulder tee. It was flirty, yet so casual that anyone who knew the girls would recognize Bella right away.

"No way Alice, never gonna happen"

Bella turned around to see Alice looking at Angela, a maniacal glimmer in her eye.

"Come on Angie, just a little something, I promise I won't go crazy"

Bella counted down from five, but even then she was being generous. No one could resist Ali's puppy dogs and Ange wasn't even a tough adversary. She was only at four when she heard Angela's relenting cries.

Almost an hour and a half late,r both Bella and Angela were being dragged out the door by Alice. Apparently there was a fine art to arriving at the right time and they were dangerously close to missing that profound window. Angela drove like an old woman and with her focus trained on the road, even Alice's pleading looks were useless in her pursuit of more speed.

It was gone ten thirty when the rickety car finally pulled up to Riley's and Bella could nearly see the logic behind Alice's insane reasoning regarding their arrival time frame. Wobbly bodies were meandering around the front lawn, proving her point that they had now stumbled into 'a little too late', where people were already drunk enough that their arrival would probably go unnoticed. This according to Alice's, was akin to committing social suicide, or it was if you were dating someone as fickle as their host. Understanding her thought process behind the buffoon was difficult, but Bella simply didn't think it was worth it, no stupid ninety nine cent store tiara was worth giving up on the possibility of finding true love. Even though she knew it was statistically almost an impossibility Edward and she would end up living her happily ever after, it didn't stop her from imagining them in the future, with little Edward and Bella's running rampant around their feet.

"Hey Bella, you look really great"

She looked down at the limp body she was just about to just step over, to see a green looking form peer sickeningly into her eyes.

"Oh hey Mike"

Bella didn't even bother to reprimand them when Alice and Angela laughed cruelly as they stepped over him too. Mike hadn't stopped following the twins around since they were seven years old and they needed a third person to play jump rope with at recess. Alice's dealings with him had turned a little more vicious in the past few years, so his attention by default had fallen solely to her more patient sister, who still couldn't bring herself to be mean. Even if the boy could be a little handsy, she kept telling herself he meant well.

"Ali, where have you been, oh my God, you've missed so much."

Bella watched as her sister was immediately enveloped into the crowd, led by her bitch of a best friend. Rosalie Hale had arrived in Forks a little over a month ago and had swept into the school and Alice's life like she had been there since the beginning of time. She had enamored and hypnotized the student body with her southern charm and stunning ethereal beauty. But for Bella, Rose was to be considered the epitome of a beauty queen, she was lovely to look at, but only when she was putting on a show from a distance. Up close, she showed her flaws and bared her talons. She was cold and hard, and if her tongue didn't reach you, her scathing glares would. She wasn't sure what exactly she had done to deserve the wrath of Rosalie, the Ice Princess herself, but it was plain to see that she hated Bella's guts.

Pulling Angela in the opposite direction, Bella was glad to see they had stumbled unknowingly upon the kitchen. It didn't take a genius to see that Angela was feeling nervous and if she had any chance of talking to Ben without falling apart, a little Dutch courage certainly wouldn't go amiss. Even if the girls didn't like Riley, they had to appreciate he knew how to throw a good party. Not only did he have a huge open home, but a fully stoked bar and tender set up in the kitchen.

"Hello ladies"

Bella turned towards the deep voice, but her eyes were only assaulted by a wall of muscles, She had to incline her head a little further to finally reach his face and when she did, her heart beat just a little faster and her pupils dilated in appreciation. This guy looked like he had fallen from a GQ spread and the first thought that could fully form in Bella's mind, was whether he would let her lick him.

"What can I get you?"

There was humor in his voice, a smirk on his face and she knew that her appreciation of his form hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Umm, how about two Lemon Lime Vodka's?"

The smile didn't falter as his gaze swept across to Angela, who was trying quite unsuccessfully to hide behind her friend.

"Do you have any ID?"

With nearly every single one of their classmates stumbling around with a red plastic cup in hand, it was hard to believe this was anything but a joke. But feeling a thrill pass through her, Bella decided to play along with the beautiful stranger.

"Sure"

She thumbed through her purse looking for something appropriate, before stumbling upon her school library card. He looked it over thoroughly, before handing it back to her.

"Well, Isabella Swan, it looks like everything is in order here"

His wide grin was contagious and she wouldn't have believed anything could make him look more handsome, but the two giant dimples that appeared on either side of his cheeks did just that.

With their drinks in hand, the girls were just about to walk away when Bella made a snap decision and turned back to him with a smile.

"It's Bella, by the way"

She didn't wait for his response, she wasn't exactly sure where her new found confidence had come from, but she wasn't about to tempt fate by lingering too long. Hair short mahogany hair bounced behind her as she strolled away with Angela in tow, ready to watch the drunken masses.

The living room was a sea of undulating bodies, shades of pink and blonde moving in unison to Britney Spears. The perimeters were packed with hormonal teenage boys, savoring the images as the girls grinded against each other, a show put on specifically for their titillating. Bella was about to drag Angela right back out of there, when she heard a familiar deep voice in her ear.

"You're looking pretty foxy tonight Swan, I see you finally let your sister get her grubby little mitts on you"

She smiled to herself knowing he wouldn't see it. Only Edward Cullen could call her foxy and make it sound like the sexiest thing in the known universe. She turned around slowly when she could no longer feel the heat of blush on her cheeks.

"Hey Edward"

He of course was looking four shades of magnificent. His taut body packed into a black simple t shirt and jeans.

"You ladies need a refill?"

Bella looked back to Ange who was bobbing her head a little too enthusiastically and she wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or a need to leave this stifling room at the root. Bella was silently gleeful, knowing she would now get the chance to compare the sexy bartender to Edward. So instead of waiting for his return, the girls followed his lithe form back through the house.

Standing side by side, she was almost proud to see Edward was no less beautiful than the stranger. The only difference of note was that the Titan made Edward look so young, but that only made her heart yearn to know what Edward would look like in a few years time.

As soon as both girls had fresh drinks in their hands, he was gone and Bella was left trailing his broad back through the crowd. Angela's cold hand settled down on her arm and immediately her eyes snapped back. After four years of Cullen watching, Alice and Angela had both introduced subtle gestures to let their friend know when she was being just a little too obvious in her affections. Bella nodded in thanks and tried not to let the sinking feelings in her gut exemplify. Feeling far too much clarity to deal with her own self pity, she threw back her drink in three big gulps and pushed the plastic cup back to the handsome bartender, who refilled it with a raised eyebrow and nothing else.

Allowing Angela to pull her back through the house, Bella's eyes constantly kept a look out for Edward, but saw him nowhere. Nothing that night seemed to be turning out as expected. When they finally strayed across Ben, Angela was more than happy to leave her friends side. The only problem being Bella no longer wanted to leave hers. It didn't seem to matter how poignant the pointed looks coming here way were, Bella remained fastened to Angela's side. It was only when the pair began to make out in front of her, did she finally get the hint, walking away with a petulant sigh. Bella shouted back over her shoulder that she was going to get a refill, but if she was heard, Angela gave no indication.

If Bella had realized the implications the following actions would have on her life, in all likeliness she would have stayed put and watched Angela maul Ben with her tongue quite happily. As it was though she didn't know what was to come, so instead, she wandered around the house aimlessly. Having spent so much of the past three years intently focused on books and studies, Bella knew who all of these people were by sight, but not one could she call a friend.

After three drinks with very little to eat that day, she was miserable, woozy and tired. The luscious night of possibilities had turned sour and she didn't have any energy left to rectify anything. Deciding she wouldn't be having any further fun tonight, Bella went in search of Alice to inform her of her decision to walk home. Stepping out onto the back patio, her eyes immediately fell on the scantily clad frame of Rosalie Hale, their eyes locked and an evil sneer took over Rosalie's usually serene face. Her eyes left Bella's slowly and with a hypnotic pull she followed them.

Bella grabbed out for the nearest available object to keep her upright and apologized profusely when her fingernails clamped down on a shrieking girl, but her eyes never left the sight Rosalie had been so eager for her to see. Standing clear in the middle of the backyard, next to what she would have otherwise described as a picturesque pool, was Bella's best friend and twin sister, furiously kissing the love of her existence.

It was like a horror film, desperately wanting to shield her eyes from the sight, but knowing she would only peak through the gaps. Just as she decided she couldn't take it any longer, they pulled apart, the bile rising in Bella's throat as Edward's finger gently trailed Alice's cheek with a reverential look in his eyes. Bella turned on her heel and ran, question upon question racing through her mind as uncertain feet hit down hard on the ground beneath.

She didn't stop for anything, not even when she tripped over, flailing to her knees in the gritty driveway. Her body didn't slow down for a second. Heart beats and feet raced their way home, and even as she felt the burning strains in her muscles, Bella only pushed on faster and harder, enjoying the physical pain as it superseded the emotional.

She tore through the house like a wild animal, not caring whether Charlie was home to hear her wailing cries. Images of betrayal were burned into the recesses of her mind and no matter how hard she sobbed, or how much she begged for the images to disappear, they simply wouldn't go away.

* * *

**a/n: Thanks to all of you who read/reviewed/alerted and generally took an interest in this story. **

**The next chapter will be back in 2009 and I hope you're all ready to say hello to Mr. Whitlock. **

**Next post will be midweek... until then... x  
**


	3. Intersection

**March 2009**

Pounding was the only word Bella could think of, the only one apt enough to describe the feeling currently being endured in her skull and on top of that, her mouth felt like it had been toweled dry with something rotten. Opening one eye cautiously, the first thing to come into focus was a wine bottle lying side up on the coffee table. The memory of the sharp liquid pooled in her mouth and she ran haphazardly to the bathroom, barely making it before her stomach erupted, emptying itself unceremoniously. When her body could take no more, she stood tentatively, brushed her teeth and splashed cold water on her blotchy face.

The living room was purposefully ignored, her feet taking her straight through to the kitchen. There she proceeded to pull two bottles of chilled water from the fridge and her cell phone from the table, before dragging her weighted feet back through the apartment to her impressively ornate king size bed, still rumpled from the day before. She quickly checked her phone, verifying no drunken dialing crimes had been committed, before burying her head deep under the cool covers.

It was dark when her eyes finally flitted open once again and she groaned in protest against her body's unconscious decision to be awake. To say that she wanted to forget everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours was wishful thinking, but like most wishes in life, it was far easier said than done. No matter how far she could bury herself under the sand, it wouldn't stop Alice from invading the safe little bubble she had encapsulated herself in for the past six years.

After leaving a scathing voicemail on Charlie's cell, berating him for giving Alice her new number, she immediately regretted her actions. It wasn't his fault Alice was so damn manipulative.

Bella finally emerged from her bedroom when the sparkling lights of the city had been illuminated. The living room she had previously avoided was first on her list and as she cleaned up the remnants of her solo binging expedition, she was pleased to find her stomach had strengthened sometime during her lengthy power-nap.

Feeling satisfied that her apartment had been returned to working order, she finally listened to her bodies desperate request for sugar, pulling a can of coke from the fridge, before heading back to the bedroom, where she sat for hours staring glassily at the television, as it skipped and faded from one program to the next. All through the night, fuzzy flashes of the previous evenings indecision's ran through her mind, until one almost caused her to choke on the soda she was sipping; a plan came to mind, a plan to ruin Alice's life.

It was like a flood gate opening. All day Sunday no matter how busy her mind and body seemed to be, the lingering thoughts were relentless. She ran five miles, but each time one of her feet pounded the pavement, diabolical words echoed in the beat heard back by all; it was an intoxicating mantra, pushing her body on and on.

Counting down Alice's arrival felt something like waiting for notification on the end of the world. Bella was aggravated, uneasy and taking it out on everyone else in the immediate vicinity, no matter how undeserving. When she walked through the office, it was like turning on the lights in a room full of cockroaches; people scuttled and scattered from her presence. It didn't normally matter to her how she was perceived, but the idea that she was allowing something personal to invade her work time, something she swore she would never do, was incomprehensible. How could a forty second voicemail break down the structures of a life that had been so carefully reconstructed?

The longer the week went on, the more irrational her attitude became and by Friday not only was Bella on board with Team Revenge, she was president of the fan club, printing out the t-shirts and planning a rally through mid town.

"Is there anything else I can get you before I leave?"

Lifting her head to see Seth nervously shifting his feet in the doorway to her office, Bella considered the boy for a moment. He had been reasonably efficient all week and considering the moods she had inflicted on him, she could see just a hint of positive potential in him.

"No Seth, thank you, have a good weekend"

The relief on his face was obvious as he all but skipped away, probably off to start upon his weekend's bustling social agenda. Thinking of social agendas, Bella pulled out her cell phone and sifted through her voicemails to the one she was looking for from the previous week. Putting this off had been easy until this point, but it was time to bite the bullet.

"Hello Isabella, I'll be in town next weekend. Call me on Friday to set up a date if you've got time. Ciao."

Short and sweet, but in reality he was anything but. Alec, a dirty little secret who only stopped into town a couple of times a year, was a debonair consultant Bella had met during one of her numerous business conferences. There was nothing kind or loving about their time together. It was a ferocious, passionate affair and both walked away at the end of each encounter battered, bruised and satisfied in the knowledge that neither was in love with the other. Unfortunately he was like alcohol, something only to be indulged in when she could conquer the emotions he would induce and obviously she wasn't in any state for playtime. Though it was doubtful she would see him again for another four months at least, she hit the call button and left him a brief, apologetic voicemail, feigning an out of town business trip.

Hitting delete, she sent her phone flying across her desk. With Alice arriving in town on Monday, time was very quickly running out. The internal fight or flight compass she possessed was pointing due south to flight; but didn't it always.

An hour later, Bella was standing in front of her full length bedroom mirror, wearing nothing but underwear that was far too expensive for her eyes alone. At twenty eight, her body was more toned than it had been at eighteen, curves that she had longed for had finally filled out and she could honestly say that running out her frustrations on a regular basis, had left her with very few areas to bemoan. Her face was an entirely different matter. After six years in a uniform bun, her once vibrant hair was lifeless, limp and actually a lot longer than she had realized. It needed some serious attention and so did her pallid skin. It wasn't a terrible assessment, but in order to go toe-to-toe with a sister who took pristine condition of her physical form, it definitely required some work. Pulling on a robe, she curled up on one of her soft leather couches with her laptop, researching the most exclusive spa's and salon's in the area.

Two hours later appointments had been set for the following day. For once the weekend wouldn't be spent in the office or obsessing over work and Bella was a little surprised by just how guilty she felt about that. However, if she was really going to do this, then it was going to be with everything she had. She had reasoned this out enough, it had become more of a business takeover than a betrayal in her mind. Alice didn't know what was coming for her; she wasn't just going to move in and turn Bella's life on its ear, not when there was a whole country out there she could have chosen to inhabit. To Bella it was just another betrayal to top the others.

By Sunday night, Bella was thoroughly exhausted. Work had become an emotional and physical outlet and it was something her body and mind was accustomed to. Spa's, salon's and shopping were so beyond any usual comfort zones, so she couldn't wait to get back to exercising those familiar mental muscles and those alone.

All day Monday she was entirely distracted, so much so, she was appalled to note that by midday, she had achieved almost nothing. Not daring to leave the office for lunch, she hated how easily she was already allowing herself to be controlled. So as soon as the office had cleared out, she picked up her phone and pulled up the call log. It took ten minutes of staring at the unchanging screen, before she finally mustered the resolve to hit the call button.

The phone had barely even rung twice, when it was answered breathlessly.

"Bella?"

Taking a deep breath, she mentally coached herself, '_you will show no weakness, you will show no weakness…'_.

"Alice, how are you? Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but you know how it is. Anyway, I was hoping we could meet for dinner, my calendar is jam-packed as usual, but I just had a cancellation for Wednesday evening. How's 8pm?"

Okay, so the only things filling her evenings were business meetings and the work she insisted on taking home, but Alice didn't need to know that. While Bella didn't like the excitement that was clear in her sisters tone, she had to reason with herself if this was going to work, it was a necessity she would have to endure.

"Bella, I'm so happy you called, Wednesday would be fantastic. Would you like me to book somewhere, or do you have a place in mind? I'm sure you know all the best ones, but if you don't have time I would be more than happy to do it…"

Bella had to clear her throat twice to get her attention, a rambling Alice was something she had never encountered before.

"No, it's fine Alice. I'll have my assistant set something up, he'll email you with the details"

"Oh my gosh, Bella. I'm so excited. I thought it would take weeks for you to agree to meet me. I will keep an eye out for that email. You know my address right. I mean, it's the same as it's been forever, but still, I mean... Anyway it's alicat81.…"

"Alice, it's fine. I know your email. I'll see you on Wednesday"

Hanging up before she could lose her cool, or say anything else, Bella immediately sent Seth an email telling him to book a table at The Garage for Wednesday. The choice wasn't easily made. The initial temptation had been to take Alice to Demetri's where reservations were typically made six months out. But her dirty laundry didn't need to be aired somewhere she went regularly for business. The Garage was the perfect combination of good food, casual atmosphere and it was just expensive enough for Alice to be appeased. The best part about it though, it was just far enough out of her work radius, so she could choose never to go there again.

Bella stayed well past the cleaning crew on both Monday and Tuesday night, the darkened silence of the office lending to her addiction for all things work related. It was also beneficial when almost the entire of Wednesday was spent staring at the ticking clock and wishing the seconds could slip by just a little slower.

For the first time in the history of her career, Bella left the office at six pm along with the other drones. It was strange to find the elevator cramped with sweaty bodies, talking about their mundane children and how many after school programs they were enrolled in. She caught a few of the frumpier ladies looking across at her in pity, but it was them she felt sorry for. They revolved their lives around soccer practice and tater tots and could only dream of lunching with the top executives in the Publishing world, like she did almost every day of the week.

Striding away from the office with pride in her high heeled step, it was only as she hit the confines of her apartment that Bella's high lost its influence. The perfect outfit had already been selected the night before, but to make dinner across town by eight, she was working on a time restrain. An hour to get ready for any occasion wasn't generous, but for a reunion with a long lost bitch of a twin, it was practically nothing.

She curled, twisted and tousled her hair to perfection. With only two inches taken from the ends, the new layers added depth to the subtle red highlights that she had been needled into. It could honestly be said that Bella's hair looked better than she had ever seen it, as it fell softly down her back in careless waves. She looked into the sky and silently thanked the ladies at the salon for their fabulous lessons and then said another for Nessie at the mall, with her amazing makeup tips. Okay, so she had monopolized three hours of her time and cleverly swayed her out of nearly $500, but it was well worth it. After being shown three looks that could take her anywhere from day, to night, to super night, Bella couldn't understand how she had lived without the girls wisdom before.

Physically, she looked confident and happy as she stepped out on to the sidewalk, allowing the doorman Eric to call a cab for her. Now all she had to do was transfer those illusions to the inside and she would be all ready to go.

Bella arrived at the restaurant five minutes early and found a spot at the bar which had a prime view of the door. Ordering a glass of Pinot Grigio, she tried to tell herself it would be the last, but with the hysteria bubbling inside, she wasn't sure how long her resolve would hold out on that issue.

Ten minutes later Alice arrived. She looked different in so many ways, but Bella reasoned it wasn't difficult to spot yourself from across the room, no matter what disguise had been adorned. Her hair had been cut tragically short, tufts of dark brown hair shot out almost randomly, but she didn't doubt it would be what all the magazines would be raving about in a month or two. Bella considered how strange it was to see how they had somehow reversed their images from high school. Alice's clothes looked simple, yet there was an acute attention to detail in her accessories that most people would pass over as chance. But even with years between them, Bella knew Alice. Everything she did had a purpose and the minutiae in her life wouldn't escape that simply by size. Wide brown eyes fluttering around the bar until they met Bella's and feet instantly stopped. If this were a film, the restaurant would all stop and turn, sensing the shift in the dynamic of the room, wondering just who these two women were to cause such a climatic fervor. But this was real life, so the noise and hubbub continued unabated around the encounter. It was only as a large hand grasped Alice's shoulder, Bella recognized her sister hadn't come alone. She hadn't specified a preference and neither had she pursued Seth for the finer details of the evening, so it had been fairly even odds on whether the elusive fiancé would make an appearance or not.

Eyes trailed upwards and Bella's calculating mind saw nothing more than opportunity. It saddened her to know she couldn't say whether or not this was Alice's type. But it stung even further to think how the only point of reference she had on that point, was that her sister's type was anything Bella was interested in. Something about this guy seemed unlike her though. His dark blonde hair was just a little too long and his ripped jeans and crumpled t-shirt looked too authentic to be contrived or manipulated. He was undeniably handsome and even from a distance Bella could see the hard lines of his jaw and the tanned tones of his skin screaming out masculinity.

Knowing that her fiancé was attractive was a double edged sword. Bella didn't exactly want to be repulsed by the guy, but this was business and in all things business, emotions needed to be firmly cast aside. Feeling anything for him would be irrelevant from a guilt perspective, but her number one rule was no matter what, this time she was going to be the one inflicting pain, not foolishly receiving it.

Pushing him from her mind, Bella watched silently as Alice weaved her way forwards. She raised her eyes and nodded to the Maitre'd, letting him know that they were ready for their table with just a flicker of her dark eyes. Barely seconds later, he arrived in front of Bella, just as Alice and her mystery man pulled to a stop by her side. His eyes moved appreciatively between Alice and herself, something she hadn't had to endure for six years and quite frankly, didn't miss, before finally stopping on Bella.

"Ms. Swan, if you and your party would please follow me"

He led the party to a corner booth, took drink orders with just a hint of flirtation and sauntered away leaving the three almost strangers in their own awkward little corner of the world.

While Bella watched the couple closely, Alice's eyes were shifting around the room almost maniacally. Her fiancé languidly sat with his arm casually draped across the ledge at the back of the booth, his fingers just brushing Alice's exposed shoulder. They were a contrast to each other and up close the clear juxtaposition between them strangely seemed to work. Bella decided she wasn't opposed to sitting here all night just watching the two of them. Alice in person looked far less intimidating than she had in Bella's mind, but that was a mistake she had made in the past and it was a mistake she was unwilling to make again.

After the waiter set down their drinks, he took down their orders before skittering away. He was too busy eyeing up the most beautiful pair of wide eyes twins he had ever seen, to notice the strange atmosphere surrounding them.

Bella turned politely to the mystery man, catching his sapphire blue eyes immediately.

"Isabella"

She held out her own petite hand and noted how he took it in his own, a little too aggressively to be considered polite. His hand was rough and as she trailed her eyes upwards along his forearm, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the way his tendons flexed hypnotically under his skin.

"Jasper"

Taking her hand back, Bella relaxed into the booth, her eyes falling back unintentionally to Alice. It was unfamiliar to see her looking so nervous. It wasn't that her feelings were worthy of note, only that at one time she had been so contagious and nerves weren't something Bella needed to catch anymore of right now.

"So, what brings you both to Chicago?"

While attempting to keep her focus on Alice, she noted her twin's attempt to look towards Jasper for support, but he seemed strangely unwilling to assist her.

"Well, Jasper's family is from the area"

Eyes flickered in his direction but Jasper was off somewhere else, seemingly completely disinterested in the awkward little reunion. Bella was genuinely surprised, thinking they would be the epicenter of his universe tonight.

"Okay, and what do you plan on doing here Alice?"

She tried to keep her voice light but even Bella could hear the harder tones hidden underneath, she grimaced slightly, knowing she sounded like a caustic parent. Alice though showed no signs of awareness, as she began to rattle off some hair brained ideas about a clothing boutique. Bella began to take evenly timed breaths, as her sister spoke about jewelry lines and potentially prime locations across town. It had been a concerted effort to keep herself as separate as possible from Alice's life, but of course Charlie would throw in tempting biscuits every once in a while, but as far Bella had been aware, Alice had never moved beyond a basic assistants role. She didn't know if it was an attempt to impress, or a truly unrealistic view of the world that had her spouting these fantastical ideas.

"…who knows, maybe one day you'll even let me dress you again"

Alice's twinkling eyes suggested she was joking, but Bella intrinsically sat up a little straighter, her eyes narrowing and in a flash Alice shrank back. Seeing her sisters reaction, Bella immediately took back control of her body, forcibly pulling her spine down and relaxing her rigid shoulders. But that wasn't the most interesting thing. Even though his movements had been fractional and to a bystander, possibly unrelated, Jasper had moved his body forward; placing himself just in front of her petite twin. His eyes were lazily locked on his beer bottle, but his posture was speaking for him. Even if until now, she'd somewhat discounted his awareness, he'd been stealthily fully invested in their conversation the entire time.

Bella had to admit to herself this simply wasn't working, so she decided for a different tack.

"So when's the wedding?"

Half heartedly, she listened as Alice enthusiastically rattled off wedding plans for the following year. Occasionally Bella would look Jasper's way and he would incline his eyes in her direction, but never anything more.

The strained pretension of the whole affair was difficult to stomach, but Bella wouldn't allow for anything else. She wasn't just playing this one encounter at a time, it was cold, but it was a necessity for Alice to feel at ease around her. Nowhere along the way was forgiveness involved, this was a calculated business takeover meant to achieve nothing more than revenge.

"So, how did you meet?"

The words fell out like a challenging parent, but Bella rationalized the situation practically begged for someone to take control. She tried to listen as Alice spoke animatedly about romantic encounters but the words were falling on deaf ears, listening out only for weaknesses. Tight smiles were offered in the right places, not too many of course; this was a subtle game of chess after all. Grudges had been held and sustained for so long, it would be completely unbelievable to come out of the gates with free falling smiles and laughter. So everything was kept very carefully contained.

"So Jasper what do you do?"

He turned around, finally being included directly in the conversation, his eyes lingering just a little longer than necessary before answering with a slovenly drawl.

"I own my own business"

Of course he did, he was probably a plumber or something judging from his attire, she thought. She was fairly sure she'd heard a hint of a southern drawl, but his words were so few it was difficult to tell. Absently Bella thought about introducing him to Seth, they would be ideal together; mediocrity and apathy combined, pretty faces with not much else going on underneath. Alice took the lull in conversation to wax lyrical about her wedding but she was the only one listening to her own voice. Bella nodded in what she thought were the right places but Jasper's derisive look told she was a little off. Irritated, she mentally shook her head, she bullshitted executives six, sometimes seven days a week for a living, a country bumpkin wasn't going to get anything over on her.

Bella held back for the rest of the conversation and while a lot of words were spoken, not much of anything was said. The tension never lifted and the only one who seemed completely unaffected was Jasper, as he casually loaded fork after fork of steak into his mouth. He was entrancing in his obvious dismissal of the situation and Bella was left envying his laid back attitude as her spine ached with its prolonged rigidity.

As the conversation tapered away Bella sat back with her glass of wine in hand. She was still on her second, but she wasn't taking any chances and was now double checking all of her words before they left her mouth.

"Alice…"

Bella put down her glass and gently rubbed her hands across her forehead. Innocently wide eyes told Bella she had her sisters full attention and as Jasper leaned forward slightly, she knew she had them both.

Taking a sip of her wine, she wished she had prepared a little more for this.

"… it's been six years. This is all just, I mean, I'm trying to be okay with this, but… it's not going to happen overnight"

Her arms were gesturing wildly and immediately Bella reigned herself in.

"I hate this. I hate how you've shown up out of the blue and I know absolutely nothing about you. If I'm honest, I hate the fact you've shown up here at all, but I doubt I would have any success in convincing you to leave. So if this is going to work, I think we need to take this slowly".

She forced herself back, despising how much her own words resonated within her own soul. But suffering was something Bella had long since learned was to be endured. Swallowing her emotions, she threw on a wistful smile. It worked on her colleagues and she was frightened to see how easily someone who had once known her possibly better than herself, could fall for it so easily.

All three parted ways with weak hugs and promises to meet up later in the week. Jasper remained firmly on the perimeter and Bella mentally berated him for not being more involved. He was an anomaly and that was something she stupidly hadn't counted on. He was at the very epicenter of her blueprints and his elusive attitude was going to force some recalculations on her part, which she decided was tedious to say the least.

Laying in the crisp Egyptian sheets that night, Bella replayed the evening back and forth, but was still lost somewhere in the abyss. Alice six years on wasn't who she envisioned her to be. She seemed to be hiding behind some stylized façade and her choice of fiancé was thoroughly baffling. His apathetic response to their reunion and his stoic nature throughout, was in direct contrast to who Alice had always been.

It wasn't the first time in six years that she was left wondering if she'd ever really known Alice at all.

* * *

**a/n: I am planning to post the next chapter this weekend. Fingers crossed the world turns as it should and then maybe I can get it out by Friday!**


	4. Injury

**1999 - Senior Year Forks High**

"Bella, hey kiddo, wake up"

She could feel the tugging on her shoulder as Charlie tried to jostle her awake.

"C'mon Bella, I need you to wake up and tell me where your sister is"

She shot up and turned to Alice's bed in one motion; the sheets were still tucked in tightly as they had been the night before. She felt a hint of panic rise in her throat but swallowed it immediately, as images from Riley's party flashed through her mind.

"I don't know Charlie, you're the cop, why don't you find her"

He didn't deserve the bite in her tone but he was the first person she had encountered and it didn't take a shrink for her to know she was projecting.

"Enough with the lip. Where were you girls last night?"

She shrank back at his foreign parental manner, her lips loosened with his demands.

"We went to a party at the McCarty's, she was with Rosalie last I saw"

She wanted to say more, revenge bubbling in her throat but she could already feel the pinpricks of tears in her eyes and that halted her words.

"This Rosalie, do you know where she lives?"

She shook her head but she was about done with the conversation, Charlie had the resources of the town available to him if needed.

"Have you tried her cell?"

The look he gave her told her everything and she struggled to her feet, her head pounding with a headache that she was sure was equal parts alcohol and tear induced.

Closing the door of the bathroom behind her, she was shocked seeing her appearance that Charlie hadn't felt the need to comment on how truly awful she looked. Her eyes were puffy, rimmed with the bruises of a sleepless night and bloodshot to top the list.

She turned the heat up as high as she could handle, focusing everything she had on cleansing herself of the betrayal, as she slid into the shower. It didn't help though and only added discomfort to her list of ailments. She had lingered far longer than she normally would, but still couldn't bring herself to open the door. She wasn't ready to face Alice or Charlie; with his true hunter/gatherer instincts engaged, he was bound to have located her by now and if not he would be pacing throughout the house like a captive wild beast.

The steam billowed out into the icy air as she stepped out into the hallway, listening to the silence for any indication of life. Hearing none, she heaved her body back to the shared room, pulling out random pieces of clothing to wear. She didn't even look to see what she had assembled together to wear, only recognizing the warmth the items provided.

Bella dragged her body downstairs, reasoning that Charlie could provide a welcome buffer for once if Alice did show up anytime soon. But when she didn't see him, she assumed he had ventured off in search of his traitorous first born. It gave her the time to think, question upon question formulating in her mind: Who else knew? Had Alice and Rosalie been laughing behind her back? And the most prevalent, how long had it been going on?

When the front door slammed she jumped, she couldn't bring herself to turn and look away from the television screen as flickered from one inane image to the next, but Alice's laughter sang out around the room turning the pits of her stomach with its careless nature.

"Dad, I told Bella I was staying with Rosie, she must have forgotten"

Bella snorted out mirthlessly with the ease of her sisters lies. The girls only ever called Charlie _Dad_ when they wanted something, it was a wonder he hadn't picked up on it years ago. However, it seemed the pride he felt hearing it did something to counter his normally rational mind. The lie was small and something they did often, always protecting each other's back, or so she had thought. Instead of verifying Alice's statement, she stood and silently walked away into the kitchen. She was done taking sides with Judas.

"Belly?"

The term of endearment sent a silent rage through her and while a confrontation was probably not too far away, now was not the time. She took her frustrations out on the pots and pans, banging around the kitchen with an unharnessed fervor.

Breakfast was a tensely silent affair and the food was almost inedible, or at least that's how it appeared to her. A couple wayward glances in Charlie's direction gave her no indication he had any clue of the underlying dangers surrounding the table as he shoveled mouthfuls of scrambled eggs down his gullet. Alice clearly did though, as her eyes kept flickering in Bella's direction and as the minutes clicked by, her looks morphed from innocent questions to fear.

She was dangerously close to bursting, when finally Charlie rolled back in his chair, patting his stomach symbolically and announced he was heading out on his usual Saturday fishing trip. As he ambled casually to the front door, he showed no awareness of the volatility he was leaving behind, his self satisfied smile still adorning his lips.

The front door shut and Bella turned to face Alice. Both girls sat, silently appraising one another from across the table. But Bella didn't want to hear any details, the memories that periodically erupted in her mind were enough.

"I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow, you're going to think of a reason why you can't come. I don't care what it is, but whatever it is better be good enough to convince Charlie"

She stood up to leave the house, breathing the same air as Alice was slowly becoming unbearable. But with no clear destination in mind, she could only think about getting away.

Just as her hand reached out to grasp the door handle she heard Alice's light footsteps behind her.

"Bella, I don't understand, what's going on?"

She whipped around to see if she was serious. Scanning her eyes, she could only fine honesty and innocence staring back at her, but it only served to irritate the anger already bubbling in her gut. So she sneered out her words.

"Bullshit Alice, you know exactly what happened."

Making to turn, she felt a once welcomed hand grasped her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"I don't Bella, I promise. What happened? What's going on?"

She looked down in disgust at the spot where Alice's flesh was burning a hole into her own, before pulling her arm back violently.

"Really Alice, no clue? I suggest you call your good friend Rosalie then to find out".

She could hear protesting shouts as she stumbled into the front yard but it wasn't enough to make her stop.

Grateful that she at least had the presence of mind to grab the car keys before she'd walked away from the house, she slammed the car out of the driveway and peeled down the street; breaking who knows how many traffic violations in her wake.

Not paying any attention to where she was going, she was pleased that her aimless driving had landed her at First beach down in La Push instead of anywhere else. Unlike almost the entire town of Forks, she had very few memories here. Bar a few unproductive fishing trips with Charlie from way back in the day, she couldn't even remember the last time she had been on the reservation.

Getting out of the car and pulling the sleeves of her sweater down in an attempt to elude a little more of the frosty winter air, she longed to take off her shoes and feel the push and pull of the sand under her toes, but it was just too cold. Instead she had to settle for sitting down and sifting the grains from palm to palm in a thoughtless rhythm.

The feelings swirling around her were so foreign that she didn't know what to do with them. Of course Alice and she had entertained their own fierce sibling battles over the years, but it had never been over anything more important than clothes or something equally inane. She remembered the day Renee had dropped them off at Charlie's when the girls were seven, handing them off to him as if it were a regular, perfunctory weekend exchange; not the rest of their lives. Even the sinking realization she had felt when it finally hit home three days later that her mother wasn't coming back couldn't compare to this. This had taken everything she thought she had known about the world and turned it unceremoniously on it's head. Never before had she lived in a world where she actively didn't want Alice by her side.

As the sun faded down low in the sky she tried to prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation looming ahead. She hadn't been able to gather her thoughts all afternoon and now was still no exception to that. Although she was certain there would be forgiveness in time, that time wasn't now and she doubted it would be coming anytime soon.

When she pulled up to the driveway, the whole house was blazing with lights. Alice had always been afraid to be alone in the dark, or alone at all to tell the truth, so she knew without a doubt that Charlie was still off somewhere catching marine life. Entering the house as stealthily as she could, Bella turned off the lights behind her as she made her way upstairs. Her eyes trailed unconsciously to the kitchen but they didn't linger, the idea of food only sent waves of nausea through her, not hunger.

She found Alice laying on her bed facing the door just as she had expected. She assumed that at some point she had fallen asleep waiting for her and for the first time that day she smiled upon her good fortune. It took twice as long getting ready for bed, fastidiously making certain not to wake Sleeping Beauty herself. She knew falling asleep was going to be difficult, but it was made damned near impossible by pretending to be asleep. Her limbs wanted to toss and turn but instead she remained still, muscles cramping in their rigid positions.

At some point though she must have finally succumbed, that much was clear when she awoke the next morning to find Charlie in the room, fawning over Alice's terrible impersonation of a sick person. Bella gritted her teeth as she joined in the pretense, asking Alice in a sickly sweet voice if she could get her anything. Obviously she knew better as she declined her more than generous offer.

"Girls, maybe we should hold off on you leaving for Florida until Alice is feeling better?"

Behind Charlie's back Bella shot her sister the most venomous glare she had ever thrown and Alice quickly fell on her sword.

"No Dad, I feel terrible and who knows when I'll be feeling better. I don't want to ruin Bella's Christmas too"

Bella almost threw up when Alice turned to her with a hint of a smile, like she was doing her a favor.

"You go on ahead Belly, tell Mom I miss her"

For exactly two seconds she almost felt sorry for Alice, after all she was taking away the one chance a year they had to spend time with their mother. But two seconds was all the time it took for her escapades from Friday night to play back in her head and the feeling was swallowed.

Bella packed her bag in haste, caring more about getting out of the room than what she was throwing in her case. She couldn't believe her luck, the sigh of relief ready on her lips as she walked to the door, when she heard Alice call out behind her.

"Bella…."

She didn't turn but she was weak enough to hesitate

"I'm sorry"

It was everything she wanted hear her say and nothing she wanted to hear. Sorry didn't mean anything, her actions had already spoken enough for the two of them.

The plane ride was made worse by the empty seat next to her, a constant reminder of the past few days. Nothing she did could distract her from the reverential look she'd seen in Edward's eye, as he held her sister as if she were the most glorious thing on this earth.

Every breath in her lungs, every beat of her heart, every step of her feet led her further from a world where there could have been an Edward and Bella. That would never happen now and she could only mourn the loss of the last four years of her life and something that had never been. There could never be an Edward and Bella anymore, never, now there would only ever be an Edward and Alice.

"Izzy!"

Her mothers high pitch wail sang out across the baggage claim and as several folks turned, she followed their gaze to see her mother doing a strange sort of jogging skip towards her, not an ounce of shame on her face.

"Oh my little girl, how are you? How was the flight? Did they feed you? Oh, but where's Licey? Oh is she in the bathroom?"

Bella still hated the unique nicknames her mother had for both girls but she had learned long ago that it wasn't worth the argument that would ensue to complain. It was almost comical the way she was looking around, as if Alice might suddenly pop up from behind some luggage or something.

"No Mom, Alice was sick so she stayed with Charlie"

Unlike Charlie, Renee actively requested to be called anything other than Mom, so the chastising look on her face was expected.

"Sorry, _Renee"_.

Only listening half heartedly as her mother rambled all the way to the car about how sad it was that Alice couldn't make it; Bella wanted to interject and tell her just how sad it wasn't, but she held her tongue. They drove out to Renee's commune in a beat up old Jeep that had seen better days a couple of decades ago. It rambled and shook, but Renee showed no signs of noticing the danger of death trap they were riding in, as she sang along with the radio like a wailing cat.

The first time she had visited Renee's home she had been ten years old. The lack of electricity was a novelty and the Twins had returned to Charlie with only great things to say about their impromptu camping trip and wayward mother. As each year passed, the fun wore off just that little bit more. Now three weeks becoming one with nature was decidedly an experience to be endured, but not enjoyed.

The days passed slowly and after only a week Bella was cursing herself for not having answers to her mounting questions, or access to a working phone to procure those answers. After two weeks she was back to cursing Alice for placing her in the earthy pit of hell all by herself. And by week three she was so wrought with paranoia at what she had left behind, that she was testy and callous with anyone who dared to travel within her localized perimeter. Even her ever loving mother couldn't hide her enthusiasm to get rid of her, as she pushed her through the terminal and onto her plane. She made a mental note to write her a long letter of apology when all of this was said and done to explain her terrible behavior, but for now she was mentally already halfway to Washington.

"Izzy, whatever is going on between Licey and you, just remember that you only have one sister. It takes a stronger person to forgive than to hold a grudge"

Renee did this often, throwing out tidbits of random advice that usually had nothing to do with anything. It was probably the first time in eighteen years that she had finally hit the nail on the head and it irked her that she had chosen this occasion to finally get it right.

The plane ride home, if possible, was more antsy than the one out. She longed to be back in the familiar surroundings of home, but she wasn't entirely sure she was prepared to face what would be there waiting for her. The plane hit down on the runway and an eruption of nerves began to bubble in her gut. She watched in frustration as row upon row of people dawdled down the aisle, taking extensions of forever to pull random trinkets from overhead compartments. Now that she was finally here, she just wanted this to be over with.

Finally out of the stale confines of the plane, she let her muscles loose as she barreled through the airport, arriving at the baggage claim before any other person from her flight. Bella stopped in her tracks when she saw Alice standing nervously at the other end of the concourse, and briefly considered hiding behind a pillar before she steeled her breath and continued on. She was equal parts elated and horrified to see that her sister had come alone. It was exactly what she would have done if the situation had been rehearsed, she just hadn't been banking on their similarities in this instance. Dragging her bag from the carousel when it finally came her way, she slowly wheeled her way towards an inevitable confrontation.

"Hey"

There was so much Bella wanted to say, but she had already decided that the three hour drive home in the confines of the car was the better place for any and all conversations necessary, so she didn't stop for pleasantries. Instead an incline of her head towards the exit and an understanding nod from Alice told her they had reached a silent agreement.

The moment they pulled from away from the airport, she turned to Alice and spoke only two words;

"Explain. Everything"

She felt the atmosphere in the car shift as everything fell into slow motion, she sucked in a large breath of air.

"That night was crazy Bella, I knew we'd taken too long to get there. Rosie pulled me aside right away and told me that Riley had been hooking up with that skank Tanya. I didn't believe her until she pulled me into the backyard and there they were in the middle of everyone, making out like I didn't even exist. Anyway, we did a load of shots but I was just so angry… he made me look like a complete idiot Belly. So when Rosie threw Edward at me, I wasn't thinking. I don't think I even knew it was him until it was too late, I'm so sorry Bella, but I never meant for any of this to happen. He's just, we're just…"

Bella held her breath, the explanation wasn't a huge shock but the ache in her gut was. If anything the pain she felt had increased, not diminished.

"I promised myself that I wouldn't so much as look at him again, but Bella he was really persistent and I tried to stay away from him, I did, I promise".

The words and excused were filling the air between them, but it wasn't enough, all she really needed were answers.

"Just spit it out Alice"

She saw her knuckles turn white as her hands clenched down hard on steering wheel.

"I haven't given him an answer yet, but he asked me to go on a date with him."

It was far worse than anything she had ever imagined. She'd expected that maybe they'd made out a couple of times, but the idea of having to vacate her room so Alice could _study_ with her Edward was more than she could handle. The problem was, it was a very real possibility she would actually have to. She needed time to think about this and she was beginning to regret pretty much every decision she had made since that fateful Friday night.

Leaning her head down on the cold window she closed her eyes. It was just completely incomprehensible that her sister could even consider doing this to her. It wasn't like Alice had been oblivious to her feelings, after all she had encouraged them at every turn for the past four years. There was only one conclusion that she could draw, she would never understand, because she wasn't Alice and she never would be. Sadly though, she had never wanted anything more in her life.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, but whatever you do decide, you can never bring him to the house"

She didn't want to lay any other restrictions down, knowing how poorly her choices had fared her recently.

"Oh my gosh Bella, you're…"

She held her hand out, she didn't want to hear anything else that could come from her mouth. If she knew what this was doing to her, what it was going to do to the two of them as sisters, her heart hoped she wouldn't have asked this of her. But she was asking and as much as it hurt, she wasn't going to follow her sister down the selfish little rabbit hole.

The rest of the car ride was silent and the few attempts Alice made at conversation were shot down by her consummate silence. Bella hated that she had wasted the past few years of her life pining for a boy who was now tearing her apart, but more than that she hated her sister for allowing it to happen. She was going to bite her tongue, swallow her pride and endure this pain, because for once Renee was right, she only had one sister and no boy was going to take that from her.

A week later and her own resolute decision was proving a little harder to endure. If lunchtimes were torture, it was nothing in comparison to the pain she had to endure listening to Edward ramble on about the wonder that was her other half for a whole hour every other day in their shared lessons. If that wasn't enough, she also had keep up her indifferent façade, as Rosalie smirked brazenly at every chance she got.

"Bella, you've got something in the mail from England"

She rushed down the stairs and snatched the envelope from Charlie's hands. With everything that had been going on, this could potentially be a silver lining on her permanently rainy days.

_Dear Isabella Swan,_

_We are pleased to inform you…._

That was as far as she got before she heard the angry shrieks from over her shoulder, she had been so engrossed in the potential this letter contained, that she hadn't even noticed Alice approaching.

"No Bella, absolutely no way, it's too far away"

Something about the command in her tone turned her mind from uncertain to positive. It was childish to make a decision based on something so frivolous, but she couldn't help it, she was already resolute.

"What is it Bella?"

She looked up to meet Charlie's eyes, full of curiosity.

"I got in Charlie, it was such a far stretch that I didn't think it could ever happen, but I got in. I'm going to Oxford"

His eyes didn't show any signs of recognition so she continued.

"Oxford, Charlie. Oxford University in England"

Charlie looked cautiously between Alice and Bella, before resting his gaze back on his youngest daughter.

"We'll talk about this after dinner"

She knew how the conversation would go, it was the way all serious conversations went with Charlie. He would ask her a million irrelevant questions, tell her she should discuss this with Renee and then give her his blessing, regardless of whether she spoke with her mother or not.

After dinner Charlie called her into the kitchen and unlike all the other times she had endured one of these conversations, she didn't ask Alice along for support. If Charlie noticed, he didn't comment.

The whole thing went just as she had assumed it would and thirty minutes later she was shrieking down the phone telling Angela her amazing news. It was sad that they would no longer be attending the same school, but the stars had realigned and this was an opportunity too good to pass over.

Alice was two shades of furious and it was an emotion Bella was unwilling to coddle. It simply irked her that she was willing to be anything other than deliriously happy for her, especially after what she had endured in the past month. Seeing her sisters reaction made Bella wonder just how often she had been blind to her behavior, now that her eyes were all the way open.

The next few months were a testament to her patience. Seeing Alice and Edward all over each other at every turn didn't get any easier, no matter how often it was thrown in her face. she was true to her word though and she worked overtime to separate Alice, her sister, from Alice the girl who stole her unrequited love. It was definitely a struggle but with prom just a few days away she was finally coming to terms with the shift in her life. Of course it didn't hurt that her future was shaping up to take place thousands of miles away.

Bella had always envisioned Alice and herself shopping for their dresses together, but when she came home one night with a sullen Rosalie and a prom dress in tow, she was more than just a little heartbroken. It wasn't natural for her to be one of those people who pushed their problems onto others, but she had long ago banished any guilt she felt in blaming Rosalie for a whole plethora of things, some of which she knew for certain the Ice Princess played no role in. She just couldn't understand how Alice could be friends with someone who openly detested her, but then again there were a lot of things about Alice she was learning this year.

The door bell broke through her reverie and though she was dressed in the scruffiest pair of sweats she owned, Bella walked to the front door and swung it open. The boy standing there wasn't the one she expected and after a few minutes of simply gaping at him, his imposing steroidal frame pushed past her.

"Alice?"

Bella was still standing in the doorway, the cold wind battering her as she watched Alice prance down the stairs and straight into a pair of arms she hadn't been seen wrapped up in, in months.

"Riley, you look amazing!"

She didn't care that he was practically swallowing her sister, or that she was stalking across the room like a crazy person, she had Alice's upper arm in a death hold and was dragging her into the kitchen before anyone had a chance to protest.

Alice at least had the decency to look a little guilty as Bella paced back and forth like a caged animal, trying to organize her racing thoughts.

"Where's Edward, Alice?"

The black fabric of her extravagant dress rustled as she took a step forward and then realizing her mistake, one back again.

"I wanted to tell you Belly, but I didn't want you to be upset with me"

The girls were locked in a stare down, only Bella's eyes were murderous, while the replica pair looking back at her were wary.

"Are you cheating on him?"

Alice looked aghast

"No, of course not. I broke up with him last night. It didn't work out Belly, he was just so clingy and I tried, I really did, I tried for so long because I knew you'd be upset with me if I didn't"

Bella didn't know what was worse; that Alice had stayed with him thinking it would make her happy, or that she was probably right.

"How long Alice? How long have you known you didn't like him?"

She was just about to answer when Riley stomped through the door and hauled Alice up over his shoulder. If he saw Bella standing there he didn't even pretend to notice.

Alice's peeling screams of excitement stopped suddenly when the front door slammed shut, leaving Bella surrounded in a mass of muddled thoughts. She ran to grab her cell phone, but didn't make the call she longed to. Instead she just twirled it across the table, the scratching sound of plastic on wood filling the room. Would he want to hear from her? Would she only remind him of Alice?

Pushing herself away from the table, she left the little phone lying there. Edward Cullen had made his choice months ago and it wasn't her. Now for the first time, she wasn't choosing him right back.

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**a/n: Next up Bella begins phase one of her plot for revenge. **

**Thanks guys for taking the time to read this story and an extra special thanks to all of you who've reviewed, alerted or favourited. Sorry the world didn't turn quite as it should, it was only a couple rotations off though so here we are only a day later than expected. **

**Next update might not be until next weekend, but I will do my absolute best to post sooner... until then. x  


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	5. Inspiration

**March 2009**

Leaning back in her leather chair Bella watched on in amusement as Seth pawed through his notebook, searching for his desired page. Normally his behavior would have elicited some harsh words, but he was second on her hit list today and thus in the clear.

As silence continued to fill the air, she could see him becoming a little more frantic in his movements and the sharp jolts of his body were starting to put her on edge.

"Seth, I'm going to reply to a couple of emails. Let me know when you're ready."

He looked up in wide eyed shock and Bella pulled back the smile that had been threatening to overspill, only showing him a stoic reception to his reaction. While Bella tapped away, he visibly relaxed and out of the corner of her eye she watched as he neatly laid out the three pieces of paper he had obviously been searching for. Taking her time, Bella finally returned her attention Seth and he nodded, indicating he was now ready. The meeting turned out to be concise, productive and a one eighty from anything they had ever endured before.

Surprisingly, Seth was more relaxed all day and by mid afternoon Bella had decided that maybe she could move him off the critical list. It wasn't that she scared her staff on purpose, but the level of intensity and surety she brought to the office was intimidating. Bella didn't lack the capacity to be adaptive though and as soon as she recognized the subtle differences in Seth, she mentally rearranged some of the structures she used when dealing with him.

The evening round up was similar. Seth walked in without his usual hesitation in his stride and for once Bella was an apt observer, up until now she hadn't seen even a sliver of potential in him, but if he was insisting on staying then she would be willing to give him a chance.

"Okay, so what do we have tomorrow?" Bella asked.

It was normal for Seth to do the majority of the talking, going over the appointments for the following day, of course followed by a list of corrections Bella would suggest to improve his productivity. While she didn't want to scare him too much, she decided to take charge of the meeting. He was already sitting back in his chair, crossing his leg in a more casual manner and the office wasn't filled with the air of tension it normally contained.

They were almost through as he read out the messages from the day.

"You had a call from Alice?"

He looked up hesitantly before glancing back down at the message. The name Alice had only appeared on his radar in the past few weeks and Seth couldn't deny he was more than a little intrigued. Having set up countless business lunches and dinners, he'd incorrectly been under the illusion she organized her own private affairs, but when she'd asked him to set up a dinner with 'Alice' he'd begun to doubt his assumption. In the past two weeks she'd been irrationally impatient and aggressive with everyone within range, and while he would call his boss many thing, irrational wasn't one of them. He couldn't help but wonder if this Alice wasn't the root of the change.

Bella snapped her fingers and held out her hand, lifting Seth from his internal musings. It was simple and direct, but he understood and passed across the written messages that had taken his thoughts away. When he left her office only a few moments later, Bella felt a little lighter. Seth had been more efficient and confident throughout the day, but it was disconcerting how such a simple shift in her approach to him, so easily rectified, had caused that change.

She turned the weightless piece of paper over in her fingers before it carelessly fell to the bare desk.

_Alice? 12:34pm - BBQ on Saturday - 2pm. Bring wine. Sheridan Rd. Kenilworth! 480-555-5409_

She smiled at the exclamation points, even if they were a little over exaggerated, they reflected her mood. What the fuck was Alice doing in Kenilworth?, she thought. It was renowned as being a seriously wealthy zip code, not the starter home community of lackadaisical plumbers and half hearted administrators. Crushing down her negativity, she googled the address and instantly a couple of things fell into place; Alice's disinterested beau was either seriously wealthy, or his family was and therefore her sisters flighty career aspirations weren't disillusioned, they were the weak hopes and dreams of a kept women. The only mystery left to untangle was what exactly they were doing with each other.

Seth continued to be efficient and relaxed the rest of the week, a contented status quo had been reached and it suited them both effortlessly. Bella tried not to concern herself with the coming weekend, but after a poor end of week review she left the office with an uneasy feeling she couldn't seem to rationalize out. With less than twenty four hours to compose herself before her next Alice encounter, she wasn't quite sure it would be enough.

Clothes were strewn over every inch of the airy bedroom as Bella searched in vain for the perfect chilly afternoon outfit, but all she could think was; who the hell had barbeques at this time of year anyway? From the depths of her walk in closet she spied a dark brown leather jacket, it's perfection stopping her irked mutterings in their tracks. An innate feeling passed over her that this had been exactly what she was looking for, even if she'd forgotten it existed. She pulled out her favorite pair of ultra low cut jeans which were sporting rips, but not the synthetic kind, the true signs of over use and she fell in love all over again. This would be perfect to make her feel at ease yet silently confident tomorrow.

For the first time in six years she fell asleep with her room in disarray. It had taken years to build up strict rules and carefully constructed habits against such behaviors, so when she woke up, she couldn't help but feel uneasy in the messy surroundings. It took less than twenty minutes to rectify the situation and while she consumed a regularly regimented breakfast of wheat toast and egg whites, she wondered why she hadn't even attempted to conquer the mess the night before.

The day fell softly and before she had time to wrap herself up in nerves, it was too late. Bella pulled strands of her hair up into soft braids, leaving the majority to fall in natural waves down her back. It wasn't contrived and neither was her makeup, only a soft shimmer of gloss and mascara were applied before Bella smiled at herself in the mirror; she was ready.

The Taxi pulled up on Sheridan Road and she escaped a few houses south of her intended destination, an attempt to collect her thoughts in the brisk air before announcing her arrival. The walk was sobering, passing sublimely grandiose house after house. Bella tried to hold back her judgments, but they were flowing rapidly as her heels echoed up the ridiculously long driveway. It was all too easy to picture Alice at the doorway, greeting guests in some terribly garish eighties Chanel pantsuit, shoulder pads and all.

Bella chanted to herself over and over again that she had nothing to fear. Even if her plans failed, she wouldn't lose anything, not the sister she hadn't spoken to once in six years, or the new agitated state she was walking around in.

As soon as her feet hit the point where they should ascend the five steps it would take to reach the front door, she suddenly lost her momentum; standing there she wondered what the hell she was actually doing here. Two points had accumulated in favor of leaving and only one in favor of staying, when the door opened and something large and lightening quick knocked her flat off her feet. She tried in vain to right herself, but it was impossible while being molested by something big, furry and wet.

"Otis! No!"

The voice sounded familiar but under the layers of fur it was too muffled to make out. As the welcome party calmed down a little, Bella was able to at least sit up and regain some semblance of dignity. Otis, as he was apparently known, seemed to find her new position even more appealing as he tried to curl his far too large body into her tiny lap. She couldn't help but let out a burst of laughter as he lay down with all but a tiny section of his body hanging over the edges of her own. He looked wonderfully pleased with himself, as his tongue lopped out and he began to pant wildly.

Scratching behind his ears, Bella looked up to see Jasper leaning against the doorway with a perplexed smile on his face.

"Did you lose something?" Bella joked, looking pointedly down at her new friend and raising her eyebrow in Jasper's direction. He took a few steps down and then sat languidly on the bottom step.

"We were just out for a walk. It's funny, he hates Alice."

Bella made a lame joke about him having good taste but Jasper just continued to look on with interest.

"You like dogs?" he asked.

Looking down at the fur-ball in her lap, who seemed more ready for a nap than a walk, she tried to play down her affection.

"I guess. I don't really know, I've never had one."

"Well why don't you? Have one, I mean?"

Jasper's face showed no signs of anything beyond curiosity, but she couldn't help the sigh that came from her lips.

"I work a sixty hour week and that's when things are slow. Unless I could find a dog that would be happy to live in my desk drawer, I don't think it's going to work out." Bella lamented.

"You could always get one of them tiny ones you girls like to carry around in your purses."

The disgust was written all over his face.

"Yeah, well, if I wanted a squirrel I would buy one. I think you might have me confused with someone else. Bout my height, looks a hell of a lot like me, you might know her?"

She meant it to be a humorous comment, but she wasn't used to making them and even to her own ears it sounded wrong. Bella made an attempt at pushing Otis from her lap, but his big floppy body just seemed to ooze to the floor. Any tension that may have amounted from her snippy tone had immediately dissipated when they both began to laugh at the beasts antics.

She was about to ask if she could join him on their walk when Jasper looked between Bella and the dog, before lithely pulling himself to his feet and then offering her his hand.

"Alice is inside, she's been waiting for you."

His tone was curt and she wondered briefly whether she'd pushed it too far with her previous comment. She nodded in acceptance and moved to the door, but didn't enter. Instead she stood in the open doorway watching Jasper as he lithely jogged down the driveway, the fur-ball loping along by his side.

Bella knew she needed to get closer to him, but seeing the real flesh and blood Jasper instead of the one in her head who blindly followed her will, she was all too aware that this may not be as simple as she'd assumed. She could list on one hand the men she'd successfully seduced and not one of them had been in love with her sister at the time.

She was still thinking over her dilemma when a warm body joined her own, identical eyes peering out on the driveway to see what was holding her interest.

"You okay Bella?"

Internally shaking herself, Bella turned around in a flash.

"Of course Alice, just admiring the lawns."

It seemed to appease her, as Alice slid back indoors, the patience of her movements hinting that Bella was to follow.

The house was opulent and decorated as such, but even if she wasn't swallowing the venom that was rising in her throat, she was loathed to admit to Alice she thought the place was beautiful.

Led out onto the back patio, Bella was left standing awkwardly as Alice rushed away to deal with some emergency in the kitchen. Several groups of two or three people were dotted about the backyard, all blatantly glancing in her direction. They knew who she was, of that she was in no doubt. Pushing back the unfamiliar feelings of uncertainty she was experiencing, Bella's eyes landed on a nearby table. Knowing that all eyes would be on her, she walked across slowly, with her shoulders pushed back and her head held high; let them get a good look.

With a wine glass in her hand, she approached the first group and from the look of absolute glee on the woman in pastel pinks, she considered this something of a coup.

"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan."

The two men dressed in shirts and slacks shook her hand in appreciation, introducing themselves as Paul and Sam Uley. The woman was practically bouncing by the time she got to her and she learned in the space of two minutes that this was Emily, Sam's fiancée, long time friend of Jasper and one of Alice's bridesmaids.

She wasn't the only one it seemed. Within an hour she had met precisely three other women who were going to dress up in taffeta and pretend to be Alice's best friends for the day. But the strange thing was that each one introduced themselves as a friend of Jasper's first.

"…when Alice said you were going to be here, we were all so excited, I mean we've heard so much about you…"

She was fairly sure the girl abusing her ears was Claire, but it was difficult to remember when they all looked the same. Same cashmere sweater, same rigidly ironed jeans, the same tanned skin and wet with gloss lips. They looked like a herd of mini Alice's, stalking around her in preparation for the kill shot.

When the very first lull in conversation came, she lifted her glass with an apologetic shrug and took off back up the lawn. Taking a quick glance over her shoulder to confirm she wasn't being tailed, she noted how quickly they had closed ranks, their heads bobbing frantically.

"I see you've met the pack."

Her head turned as she lifted her freshly refilled glass to her lips. His lilting voice had surprised her, but she was used to rolling with the punches. He was close, almost a fraction too close she thought, as her eyes trailed across his jaw, up to his sapphire eyes. The intensity she found there stilled any words that had been formulating on her lips, but as his eyebrows dropped in confusion, she realized he was waiting for some kind of response. Jostling back through what he'd said, she cursed herself for letting her guard down.

"The Pack?"

He still seemed wary of her and she noticed he'd taken a step back. His eyes trailed out over the back lawn and he nodded in that direction.

"The girls."

She turned away from him and wasn't surprised to see that the little group was still gathered closely together. She didn't really care about the girls, or where the name originated from, but she did care about moving along with her plans and that meant making Jasper feel at ease with her. If he wanted to talk about this giggling group of females, then unfortunately she would have to indulge.

"It's quite a fitting name, where did it come from?"

Decided that she'd feigned her interest quite successfully, she was pleased when Jasper leaned in just a little closer, giving the illusion of a conspiratorial conversation.

"I've been friends with all those guys for years. One night we were out drinking in this place, anyway those four girls walked in, spotted us and just went in for the kill, like a pack hunting down prey. It was pretty scary actually."

She took the chance he was offering and raised one eyebrow, looking him dead in the eye.

"Were you not considered tasty enough?"

The words made her cringe internally, but externally she didn't flinch one muscle. Jasper meanwhile was just staring at her and she could see the calculations taking place behind his eyes, wondering what to do with the question. He settled on laughing a little awkwardly and Bella mentally noted that he didn't respond well to awkwardly obvious flirtation.

She wasn't defeated that easily though, so she settled back into just listening to him talk about his friends and their daunting pack of women. Her plans had no room for having any feelings towards Jasper, pleasant or otherwise. So each word he spoke was logged as something that could be potentially useful later on, or discarded as useless.

A silence fell upon them when he ceased talking and she decided that it wouldn't hurt to learn a little more about his situation with Alice.

"So tell me, how did you and Alice meet?"

Jasper looked at her curiously and she was pleased her glass was still half full, giving her something to do with her hands as she internally squirmed under his assessment.

"Did you listen at all the other night at dinner?"

He didn't look angry but there was something else behind his eyes that couldn't quite be placed

"Well for the most part I did, but I think we can all say that it was a strained affair at best," she offered, hoping he would take her reasoning as valid.

It was the best she could come up with, rather than the truth of '_no Jasper, actually I don't give a fuck how you and Alice met, only how you'll end'_. But something told her that wouldn't go down too well.

He was still looking at her cautiously as he spoke.

"My sister introduced us…"

Bella was about to say something inane, like 'oh, how lovely', when he uttered the one name in the English language she would be happy not to ever hear again;

"…Rosalie".

Even without outwardly groaning, she was sure her body language was none too subtle.

"Rosalie is your sister?"

"Well, step-sister, but yes."

She didn't care how obvious she was being as her eyes darted around the faces covering the back lawn, looking for the devil incarnate herself. She saw Jasper lean towards her from the corner of her eye, but he was absolutely irrelevant right now. If Rosalie was here she needed to know about it immediately. Thoughts were running rampant as she imagined her old nemesis staging some surprise bitch attack when she was least expecting it.

"She not here. She's in St Barts on her honeymoon."

Her darting eyes calmed immediately and she wondered whether it would be in poor taste to send condolence flowers to her newly wedded husband. The thought brought a smile to her face and before she could think about the company she was keeping she muttered out a "…poor bastard", before taking a sip from the glass in her hand.

Bella could see that Jasper was about to say something, but at just that moment Alice swooped down from whatever perch she had been resting on to accost them.

"Jasper can you please get that damn dog out of here, he's eating food from people's plates again"

Bella turned around to see Otis standing on his hind legs and just as Alice had said, he was wolfing down scraps like they were going out of style. She turned back around just in time to see Alice and Jasper locked in a none too pleasant silent exchange. The intensity of it seemed to be about more than just a dog, but then she had never owned one, so she couldn't vouch to the length one would go to protect your animals right to snack on other peoples hors d'oeuvres.

Alice and she were left alone and while Alice was busy making sure Jasper obeyed her every command, Bella was appraising her sister silently, when she noticed something truly shocking. She had to look down at herself and then back at her twin twice, before she caught the focus of her attention.

"Oh, do you like them. Rosie and I got them done together when we turned twenty six"

The more she looked at her new plastic adornments, the more she couldn't believe they had passed her inspection before. They weren't huge, but there was a marked difference between her own breast size and Alice's. Lets be honest, she thought, they wouldn't ever be sharing bras again anyway, but this cemented even the possibility. Her eyes scanned every inch of Alice's petite frame, but no other notable differences announced themselves. Bella wondered whether it would be too judgmental to wonder what deep seated reason may be behind her motivation. She couldn't help but consider if the roots lay at not wanting to have another person walking around looking exactly like her.

Bella decided that it wasn't worth her energy to investigate the psyche of her ever evolving sister.

"So, speaking of the devil, how is Rosalie?"

She kept a smile plastered to her face as she sat down at the nearest table, but she could see Alice questioning her choice of words.

"Oh she's wonderful. She's just got married to Edward Cullen… although I was sort of hoping that wouldn't come up this soon."

She almost felt sorry for Alice as her eyes looked up at her, pleading. She was clearly thinking these would be the words that would finally send her fleeing for the hills. Bella however, was lost in disbelief, she couldn't believe that she still felt a pang of something hearing his name again. It wasn't love or anything like it, but a deep rooted twinge of betrayal. She couldn't even imagine what Rosalie had done to get her claws into Edward Cullen's good graces, but it had been a long time since high school. Looking to herself, who was she to judge who anyone was anymore?

"Umm, that's nice. So Jasper told me there were off in St. Barts on their honeymoon."

She personally thought she was doing a wonderful impression of indifferent and it seemed so did Alice, as she let out a loud sigh of relief. She listened as she prattled on about Rosalie's prolific modeling career, but she could barely bring herself to pretend to care. The only upside to the revelation was that not only would her revenge hurt her sister, but potentially her best friend too. She was smiling to herself at the thought and Alice must have taken this as some sort of acceptance or interest as she scampered off to the house, telling her firmly to stay put and throwing out words like 'head shots and 'album'.

Bella looked around for any hopes of escape but her every move was still being clocked by 'the Pack'. She was seriously thinking about just getting up and leaving, when a sultry voice sounded from above her.

"Would you like another drink? I make a mean Jack & Coke?"

She raised her head, fairly sure this was just one of the men from the lawn making a boisterous move. The face was familiar but she couldn't remember which one this was, her confusion must have been clear as he smirked back at her.

"Paul."

Nodding her head she considered his offer, but only briefly. He was a very good looking man, but it was also obvious from the way he was oozing confidence that he knew it all too well.

"Oh Paul, you've met Bella. This is wonderful, I just knew you two would hit it off."

She wasn't sure where in Alice's gushing words he'd heard her acceptance of his drink offer, but he had and so she watched him stalk away and then back again, pushing a tumbler of dark liquid between her fingers on his return. She thanked him but still didn't touch the drink, until she noticed both Alice and Paul watching her intently. Feeling like an animal on show, she brought the glass to her lips and took a tentative sip. It tasted just like any other Jack and Coke she'd had the pleasure of drinking, but she smiled brightly at Paul and his feathers ruffled up like a proud peacock.

Alice must have seen some potential in the pair, as the photo albums she was clutching were pushed aside and forgotten. Her focus now trained on her sister and Jasper's oldest friend, making what she decided were interested eyes at one another. She couldn't help the little internal bubble of glee she felt at the possibilities such a match could produce.

Bella unfortunately was bored. The Jack had been a little stronger than she'd originally suspected and now a light afternoon haze had settled over her mind. Paul had made a few efforts to impress her by name dropping a couple of high flying clients he'd recently signed for the sports management company he worked for, but she didn't follow sports so his efforts had been wasted. He'd tried again when he began to regale tales from some fancy scuba diving trip he'd just returned from, but when she yawned involuntarily, he turned to Alice and was now speaking animatedly about some trip he was planning on taking with Jasper soon. Bella quickly glanced down at her watch. Two hours was plenty of time she thought, and with her mental capabilities subdued, she figured now would be the prime time to leave.

Pulling her cell phone out, she politely excused herself and dodged back into the house, pulling up the cab number from earlier. She didn't notice another presence enter the room and casually lean against the doorframe.

"Hi, I would like to order a cab…."

"I'll drive you home."

Her eyes whipped up and the voice on the other end of the line was forgotten as her eyes narrowed in on his casual stance, his body half shaded in the darkness.

"Please, that's not necessary. I live in the City."

The words were out before she could think about what a thirty minute car ride alone with Jasper could produce in the way of results. Thankfully though, where she was foolish, he was obstinate and she could hear the little tinny voice begging for her attention, as he pushed himself away from the doorframe and stalked towards her.

"Seriously Bella. I need an excuse to get out for a little bit and it would be nice to get to know you a bit better."

She ended the call that was still being held to her ear with a resolute click, the smile softly falling onto her lips.

"Well, if you insist."

She bid farewell to Alice and then as Paul insisted they exchange numbers, she watched from the corner of her eye as Alice and Jasper spoke intimately. She noticed that they didn't part with an embrace or any obvious show of affection. But she also noted that his body had inclined towards her sister in a way that it hadn't done with anyone else. It seemed that the more she observed, the more she found that Jasper wasn't like any other man she'd met before. Paul, who she'd noted didn't seem too fazed to send lustful looks either her way, or Alice's, would've been a much easier target.

"You ready?"

Paul, Alice and the party were left behind as she followed Jasper's broad back over to his huge black truck, the big fluffy fur-ball he called Otis happily hopping around them. It did nothing to dispel her theories on his profession and as she hopped in, she noted that he didn't open her door, nor did he turn down the country music that was blasting out from the speakers.

Thirty minutes later and Jasper knew where she lived, the code to her apartment garage and her apartment number. None of which she'd wanted him to know. She tried to piece back how it had happened, how after six years of not even telling her father where she lived, he'd infiltrated her defenses with only a crooked eyebrow and a tight lipped stare. It wasn't like she could even swear him to secrecy without alerting him that something wasn't quite right, or making herself look like a paranoid lunatic.

She tried to be flirty as she invited him up to the apartment, but he'd dismissed her easily with talk of getting back to her sister. Still, she couldn't figure out why the only things she'd discerned about him were that he liked his music loud and his cars fast, while she was now laying out with her insides splayed on the ground, or at least that's how it felt.

Throwing her keys down on the table by the front door, she stormed through to the lounge and threw herself down on the sofa. This wasn't working, she thought, as she played the day back. She didn't know how to flirt well enough to be discrete and from little she had discerned, he seemed like a genuine, although mysterious guy and therefore wasn't about to be putting any twin-threesome moves on her anytime soon.

Laying there she decided she wasn't going to be able to do this alone. After all it was Alice who held the man-stealing catnip gene, not her. Clicking through her phone book, Bella paused on one number, a number she hadn't called in years and for quite a good reason too.

She threw the phone down, dismissing the idea as foolish, as her head began to ache from the drinks she'd consumed during the day. She couldn't bear the idea of just sitting there in a messed up pool of pain, so she stretched out, forcing her muscles to their limits as she groaned in pleasure.

When the bathroom cabinet offered up the painkillers she was looking for, she indulged herself by running a bath, a luxury she very rarely had time for. Even though she wasn't the bustling social agenda queen of Chicago, work for Bella began when her eyes opened in the morning and lasted right until her eyes fluttered shut again at the end of the day.

As her body dipped beneath the hot bubbles she ran through everything that she had been putting off while her energies had been focused or her failing plots for revenge. Her phone had pinged for the third time today with a desperate request from one of her authors. She knew it wasn't anything urgent, but after years of being at his beck and call, she could tell from the upper projections of his voice that he was beginning to panic.

It wasn't enough to stop her rampant mind though and the dedication, drive and some might say obsession that she normally applied to the Publishing world, had been diverted. She rationalized out that it wasn't too late to go backwards, call Kate and see whether a position in New York was available after all. But every time she resolved to follow the sane path, she would catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Only it wasn't herself she was seeing, it was Alice, with a smug look on her face and a foreign finger trailing down her jaw in reverence of her allure.

There was just no way to escape being haunted when the person haunting you was essentially yourself.

After drying the suds from her glistening body, she made a quick call to the frantic author, who she quickly and expertly appeased. She made a mental note to only allow herself plans of a diabolical nature once work had been settled. And with that decided, she curled up in bed with her laptop's bright screen illuminating the room.

Her fingertips ghosted over the keys. Her first attempt produced laughable results and in fact the opposite of what she was attempting to achieve. Perhaps ten years ago she could have used tips on how to stop your sister stealing your boyfriend/husband/unrequited love, but now was just a little too late for that. Revising her search, she hit upon internet gold. Seven steps to seduce a man.

Looking down the list, she realized her mistake. She'd inadvertently jumped right in and skipped steps one through four, heading instead to five with no groundwork laid what so ever.

This wasn't going to be easy she decided as she read through step one.

_1. Promise your target whatever he's missing_

A loud sigh filled the room as she looked out on the bright city lights. He was engaged to marry an identical replica of herself, well, with a few bonus updates, she scoffed internally.

She pulled up a blank document and began to make a list of differences between herself and Alice.

1. Work ethic

2. Brest size

3. Hair

4. Man stealing cat nip gene

5. Fashion

Her fingers tapped rhythmically as she tried to think of something else and then of course the big one hit, the one she could do nothing about.

6. Personality!

She underlined it twice and then added a few exclamation points for effect. She could change her hair and even her breast size all she wanted, but she couldn't transform her insides into someone else.

Unwilling to admit defeat, she skipped along to step two.

_2. Make him feel appreciated. _

Already having noted the strange dynamic between Alice and Jasper, she thought there might be some potential here. Alice was normally a PDA aficionado, after all Edward had practically been suckered to her body for the few months they'd been together and Riley often had to be forcibly removed from her tongue. Hope fell though when she realized it was likely to be Jasper then who didn't want the world to watch as he showed her his affection.

Sighing she lifted her eyes to step three.

_3. Let him help you_

Bingo. Not even hours ago he'd point blank refused to drop her off a couple blocks away, insisting he drive all the way into the safety of her parking garage. She decided that point three was definitely worthy of some manipulation.

Feeling a little more positive she moved on to point four.

_4. Be yourself_

Luckily she didn't know how to be anyone else, so at least she could do number four right. She wondered if number four still stood if you were a workaholic, with an absent social life and a pathological desire for revenge? It didn't say otherwise, so she thought it best not to dwell too long.

_5. Flirt_

Her attempts from the day came to mind and she decided to move swiftly along.

_6. Play hard to get_

The tip here apparently was to make him feel that you want him, but that you were 'holding back' for some reason. Well that wouldn't be too hard, but something in his reactions today told her that Jasper wasn't going to respond well to her making him feel that she wanted him. She pushed point six aside, deciding it might require more thought later.

Finally, only one step left and apparently Jasper would be a bucket of seduced man-goo at her feet. She wasn't sure how seduced he could be though when she'd pretty much discarded the majority of the steps.

_7. Touch him subtly _

Her mind lingered, thinking about what it had been like the very few times when she had touched him, or been close enough to. He oozed out masculinity and strength, and after years of looking after herself, she couldn't dismiss the attractive allure his dominance had over her.

She shook the thoughts aside and tried to focus back on the plan. Thinking through the points she decided that it hadn't been a waste of time, after all her one step plan to flirt her way into his heart had been exposed as amateurish. Now she just needed to figure out what she could get him to help her with, then she would become a subtle touching machine who appreciated him, while flirting and playing hard to get. Simple, she thought, as she slapped her laptop closed. Now she just needed to figure out how to do all those things simultaneously without combusting and he would be putty in her hands.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys, some of you have pretty strong feelings in regards to Alice and/or Bella! **

**Next up we get to meet Bella in her University years and more of the motivation behind her 2009 actions will be revealed. Expect the next update on Saturday or Sunday.  
**

**Thanks to Deedlez01 - quite simply, you rock hun!  
**


	6. Ideally

**2003 - Oxford, England**

"Bella… Bella… pick up the phone, it's me. I know it's early, or late…I can never remember which… anyway I'm sorry, but I need you to pick up so I know what time to pick you up tomorrow"

Nothing ever changed, three years of living five thousand miles away and Alice still hadn't bothered to figure out the time difference. She wriggled away from the arm that had been wrapped lazily across her bare back and groaned to see the red screen of her alarm clock flash out angrily that it was only four in the morning.

Picking up the phone and silencing her sisters annoying pleas, she padded through to the bathroom, hoping against hope that the commotion hadn't woken Jake.

"6:30pm Alice, I sent you three emails telling you this shit and don't try and tell me that you didn't get them cause you responded to two of them."

It didn't help her mood any when she heard her sisters light giggles down the phone. The three years they had spent apart had not been kind to their relationship and for once she could honestly say that they were both at fault. After one visit home the Christmas during her first year in England, she hadn't been back since. After a revelation that Alice had lied to her about screwing Riley behind Edward's back the weeks leading up to graduation, she'd decided that enough was enough. Bella's life was too entangled with Alice's for her to healthily approach any angle of her own objectively, so she stepped away. She'd been distant and difficult, but Alice hadn't been the only one hurt with her choices.

Charlie and she had spoken only a half dozen times in the entire duration she had been on foreign soil and nearly all the conversations had been strained, probably due to their high percentage of Alice content. To say she was apprehensive about returning to America was an understatement and adding to that, she was bringing someone back with her; it was almost enough to send her over the edge.

"Do you have the flight number handy?"

She scrambled around for the scraps of paper she had printed out earlier, but came up blank.

"I don't know Alice, is a British Airways flight from Heathrow, I'm sure there won't be too many coming in at that time. Or you know what, you could always check those emails I sent you"

She made some passive comment about not knowing how email worked and Bella immediately knew her sister wasn't alone. Alice was perfectly capable of finding her way around computers, she had enough stupid emails of ridiculous cats posing on clothes lines in her inbox to prove it. She only acted like a ditz around guys.

"Okay well, this was fun, but I have a flight to catch in seven hours, oh and Alice don't forget I'm bringing someone back with her."

She could practically see Alice's ears prick up in attention and she wanted to slap the adopted sultry tones right out of her voice.

"Yes, how is Jacob?"

Bella and Jacob had been close friends for the three years they had been at Oxford together. He was unlike any other boy she had met before, with deep eyes that could hypnotize her, beautiful russet skin that contrasted perfectly with her own peaches and cream and a body that dwarfed her own. He was the first boy to make her feel delicately protected and fragile in his arms. They had bonded over their American routes and new found love of all things British. But in the past few months they had moved cautiously from a deep friendship, into a full blown love affair. Bella hadn't felt an instantaneous attraction and while he was undeniably handsome, it had all just somehow lacked that spark that could ignite a whole room. But time and his persistence had paid off and the love she'd felt for him as a true friend had gradually morphed into something sweet and tender. Both were already so tactile, that it hadn't felt strange when he finally pushed her against the library wall one night and pressed his lips to hers.

Things were sometimes still a little awkward, but Jacob had persuaded her it was just a transition period; that the passion was a slow build rather than a short fuse and he had won her over once again. She didn't want to lose him as a friend and he seemed so intent that this 'thing' could work between them, if they just put in the correct amount of effect.

She didn't want to feel uneasy about sharing her love life with Alice but she was. So she'd only informed her of his existence when they'd made the joint decision to move to Phoenix, where Alice was also living and even then it had been with reluctance. Jacob and she both had jobs lined up and while excited to be returning home, as much as she had fallen in love with the lush English countryside, it was time to go.

It took the ten and a half hour flight to fill Jacob in on all things Alice related. While he knew she had a sister, the level of omission came as a shock after they had spent three years living so thoroughly in each others pockets. The only truthful justification, the only one she didn't offer him, was how she had always felt strangely possessive over him, needing to keep him solely for herself.

Bella was exhausted, apprehensive and grumpy but she wasn't aware just how much she had missed Alice, until she came bounding toward her in the airport; a ball of unleashed energy. Holding her at arms length as she looked her over, it took all of twenty seconds to decide that she never ever wanted to go blonde, but that she might like to put in the effort to tan her pale skin a little. She marveled in the fact that five thousands miles had spanned between them, but yet here they both were, dressed eerily similar in their own nods to the recent boho fashion explosion.

She saw Alice's eyes scan behind her and she unconsciously tensed. There could only be one person she was looking for and she forced back all of her insecurities as she saw Jacob strutting towards them, their luggage in tow. He stopped a few footsteps from the girls and looked back and forth in appreciation.

"I thought one Swan was trouble, but two definitely spells danger"

She was pleased that he hadn't let her strange omissions put a damper on the situation. It was for reasons like this she knew her decision to move their relationship past the friend boundaries had been the right one.

"Hi Jake, I'm Alice, I would like to say I've heard so much about you, but my little sister here has been keeping you a dirty little secret for quite some time."

The hurt in Jacob's eyes pained her, but she pushed it aside as casually as she could. She had wrongly assumed he would be pleased to know he wasn't the only one she was keeping in the dark, but she hadn't considered how it would make him feel that she hadn't spoken of him to her family. She hated that her paranoia was hurting those she cared about and made an early New Years resolution to finally let go of the past and start anew. While distance had taken away the depth of her suffering emotions, she'd still been clinging to past regrets. But now she realized that three years was far too long to be lingering over old grudges and she couldn't remain hung up on something that had happened in High School forever.

The drive to their apartment building was filled with Alice's nervous chatter. Bella kept one ear on the conversation, but her focus was on the foreign surroundings as they whipped past in the warm night air.

Bella had never been to Arizona before and had moved here largely on Jacob's recommendation that his home town was the answer to her prayers. When they had both landed decent jobs here fairly easily Jacob had called it 'the proof of the pudding'. After eleven years of the Pacific Northwest rain, followed by a remarkably similar climate in the UK, she was looking forward to a little scorching sun and her first true attempts at tanning her pale skin.

Alice was pointing out landmarks and she could hear Jacob politely umming and ahhing awkwardly in the correct spots. Obviously neither had spoken for long enough to find common ground in their current state.

"Ali, Jacob is originally from Phoenix"

Alice turned around, acknowledging her with a wide smile, but turned quickly back to Jacob when he corrected her.

"Actually Bells, I grew up in Gilbert, it's a little south of here, but close enough"

She listened as Alice mention her upcoming Senior semester at ASU and they were off, lost in some discussion about something that in her sleepy haze, she didn't really care to understand. She knew she was being a terrible link in both of their chains, but she was exhausted and they seemed to be doing just fine without her help. Closing her eyes, she kept one ear open, just incase either needed her attention.

Alice's apartment, she'd been informed, was in some fancy part of Scottsdale, located conveniently close to where both Jacob and she would be working. So when she'd offered to set them up with a place in her complex, they'd jumped eagerly at the opportunity. She was a little hesitant to share a place with Jacob, as it would be their first foray into a joint coexistence and quite an early one at that, but he had promised that they would find alternative arrangements if anything got weird or difficult.

Her mind was just beginning to shut out the external world when she felt the car pull to a stop. She opened her eyes in excitement, but was disappointed to find herself looking at an undistinguishable underground parking garage. She had been hoping for palm trees and swimming pools but right now she could be anywhere in the world. Anywhere with several dozen heating fans pointing at her, she decided, as she stepped out into the dry heat of Arizona.

The apartment itself was nice but it had a cold air of conformity about it; everything predictable and safe, tan and beige. She didn't need to visit Ali's own place a few doors down to know that the shell would be near completely identical. She wasn't carrying any of her own luggage but she felt herself metaphorically dropping it at the door none the less. It took all of thirty seconds to circumnavigate the whole place and she lingered at the doorway to the master bedroom, thinking about the nights that would come with Jacob wrapped so easily around her.

She smiled warmly and gave him a lingering kiss, as his body met up with hers and he wrapped his arms around her. It was weird thinking of this sparse little place as their new home, their own, but she couldn't suppress the soft smile to think they would be doing this together.

She watched gratefully as he pulled her bags into their room and then lingered next to the bed. Perhaps their first night should have been savored as a promise of delights to come, but she couldn't hold back when her body crawled under the basic crisp sheets that Ali had been thoughtful enough to purchase for them earlier in the week. Her eyes were closed and it was more than possible she was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

She hated jetlag, it just did crazy things to her body, she pulled her watch around and groaned, even after fourteen hours of a dreamless sleep she could still feel her body begging for more. It took all of her energy stores to drag her lifeless carcass from the bed and back through the still alien hallway to the open spaced living area. In the harsh Phoenix, or more accurately Scottsdale sunlight, the décor of the apartment seemed impossibly more clinical than the night before.

Following a clattering sound she found Jacob rummaging through kitchen cupboards, which as far as she was concerned should have been bare.

"Hey roomie, watcha doing?"

She winced as he bashed his head against the cupboard door in surprise. He turned to face her, rubbing his forehead a little dramatically and pouting his luscious lips, regardless she walked over and placed a soft kiss on his skin and he rewarded her with one of his brightest sun filled smiles.

"Alice mentioned last night she'd set us up with the basics, so I was looking for a frying pan. Funny though, I can't seem to find one"

She shrugged her shoulders, it was nice that Alice had been putting in such an effort, but she hoped she had left at least a couple of choices for them to make for themselves. She didn't see anything resembling coffee in the vicinity, so she padded back out the room needing a shower to wipe the cobwebs from her mind.

"Check the dishwasher" she called out over her shoulder.

It wasn't a random guess but he would never know that; she had never questioned it before but it was where the frying pan had always lived back in Forks. Maybe Alice hadn't realized that it wasn't it's natural state of habitat after all these years.

The shower did it's job but it was like a vacation shower, nothing felt like hers yet and that was something she needed to rectify with work starting on Monday. She made mental notes for what she needed to get done over the next two days but she couldn't figure out where she was going to find all the time, or the compulsion to get everything accomplished.

The smell of bacon pulled her from her musings and towards the kitchen. She smiled broadly at Jacob's back when she noted the plate of food sitting next to him untouched. She wondered how much his willpower was being tested in an effort to be chivalrous, as he casually thumbed through a newspaper who's origins she didn't want to fathom.

They chatted about their plans for the day over breakfast and she was pleased when their ideals for the day vastly coincided. It hadn't been a hard decision for Bella to forego the expense of a car, her office was only two blocks away and though she had been warned against the perils of the Arizonan heat, she was willing to bet she could handle it for a twice daily five minute walk. Jacob however, was lucky enough to be receiving a company car that he had pre-organized to be delivered today. Now it was just about waiting for it's arrival and then the day could begin.

They both pottered around, getting what little belongings that had brought on the plane situated. It was difficult to envision what they needed to buy, when so many possessions were currently sitting in boxes, making a six week long journey across the Atlantic.

The day was long and hard, and her phone was eerily quiet. Bella had expected Alice to be persistently invasive and her absence was certainly noteworthy and if she was truthful, a little disappointing. They arrived back at the apartment with bags and boxes in tow, her credit card had taken a serious blow but with almost zero in the way of professional clothes, it was an investment and a necessity.

Not only had they bought clothes; but shoes, toiletries, office supplies, household necessities, kitchen appliances and homely touches to make the place seem more permanent. Having packed what she had assumed would take two days into one, entirely due to Jacob's unending supply of energy, she was exhausted. It hadn't taken her long until she began to play the sullen teenager at his side, dragging her feet and sulking. She was glad he had put up with her frustrations though and now that she was sitting down, she could see her entire Sunday spanning out gloriously in front of her.

She may have been done with the days activities, but Superman himself was still bustling around her and she wanted to throw something at him to incapacitate him, just for ten minutes or so. When the doorbell went she groaned in annoyance, not able to even imagine the energy required to entertain. That was until she noticed her fiery sister hadn't come alone. Alice was laden down with bags filled with something that smelled absolutely delicious.

Bella was up on her feet in a flash and she batted Jacob out of the way in an effort to reach the food first. Alice was quicker than her though and was already pulling out plastic container after plastic container.

"You guys are going to love this, it's the best Chinese in the whole of Scottsdale"

She felt like a toddler as she swung her feet back and forth anxiously on her bar stool. She reached out, not caring out of pure famished desire what the pot in front of her held, before she felt her hand being batted away. Sometimes she didn't understand how they could be together at all, Jacob was obsessive about order and that wasn't restricted to one area of his life, it was everything. She pulled her hand back and rubbed at the spot he had touched, even though it hadn't hurt at all.

"Now, now children"

Alice was clearly enjoying the show and she beamed back at her conspiratorially. Bella hadn't been truly at ease around Alice in years but this was just so natural. There was no thought concerning her actions or how they would be interpreted, this was just being and it felt really, really good.

The night was fun but far too short. With the grueling day she had endured and the jet lag that was showing no signs of abating just yet, it was only an hour or so after she had taken her last bite of crispy beef when she began yawning profusely and struggling to keep her eyes open. Jacob and Alice were engaged in some weird cross reminiscing about a bar they had both been to, but obviously never together and she couldn't think of anything productive add to the conversation. For a while it had been enough to listen to their easy jovial banter, but she was now quickly losing her battle. Making her excuses she headed to bed, smiling still from what was shaping up to be a great beginning to a daunting future.

The following day she allocated herself the task of being lazy, Alice had risen early and knocked with hesitancy at the front door, only to be greeted with a bounding Bella, enthusiastic to spend the first day in three years alone with her sister.

Jake had risen with the sun as usual and arranged to meet up with some old school friends, leaving Alice to show Bella the sights of her new home town. With the dessert air blowing through the open windows of the car, two echoing laughs bouncing back and forth and a rapidly melting ice cream in her hands, Bella could swear she hadn't felt more at peace in years. The day cemented what she hadn't allowed herself to think for three years; home, no matter where in the world, would always be with Alice by her side.

She wasn't sure what to expect from her first foray into the professional world but she had done everything she could in preparation. It wasn't something that Ali could empathize with, the difference in the international education system meant she still had one year left to complete her bachelors and feel the pressure of walking towards her future.

None the less, they had both diligently chosen her outfit ready for the morning and as Ali bid her goodnight, she pulled up her laptop to do some last minute research. Bella copied the address for the Scottsdale offices of Random House Publishing into her cell and looked up random information on the company that she was sure would be entirely unnecessary, but would be a comfort just in case. Her eyes were just beginning to close from the fragments of jetlag that still lingered, when she felt strong warm arms envelop her. If the day had not been perfect until that point, it was when she took her last conscious breath wrapped up in the man she loved.

"Okay everyone, we have a new member of the team joining us today. Isabella will be working alongside Peter and James. I'm sure you will all do your best to make her feel welcome."

She only had a moment to note two men scowling at her, Peter and James she assumed, before the meeting moved on. Bella had expected a casual introductory morning filled with paperwork and office tours, but apparently they were taking a cliff dive into the thick of it. The room was dismissed and as bodies meandered away to their daily tasks, she was left to flounder around. She had been rushed into this room the moment her feet had crossed over into the smooth air conditioned climate and now she had no idea where she needed to be. She looked around hopefully but everyone was too concerned with their own business to notice the new girl looking like a fish out of water.

"Pete, Jay, Isabella, my office now"

She bristled a little at the lenthening of her name. In England she had quite learned to love the way it flowed from their rich accents, but this time it had been said with an obvious sneer. Happy to have a direction to follow, she scampered after the scowling twosome, who in turn were scampering after an Amazonian woman down the maze of hallways.

She was fairly certain she was feeling a light sheen on her forehead when she half jogged into a huge office, stopping abruptly to see the Amazon already looking completely composed and impatient behind an oversized mahogany desk. She made a mental note to up her cardio, while silently cursing the she-robot in front of her.

"Okay, so Pete, Jay you know the drill. Divide these up, bring them back to me at the end of the week"

TweedleDee and TweedleDum jumped to attention, each grabbing armfuls of paper, before trundling back out of the office under the added weight. Bella could see a third pile clearly meant for her, but she hadn't been addressed in the instructions, so she assumed some guidance would now be imparted, or an introduction at the very least.

She watched patiently as the red haired Glamazon tapped aggressively on her keyboard, her long thin fingers tapering off to vicious looking acrylic nails. Bella's eyes swept upward taking in the entirety of her new boss; she was a very angular person and while she could see that there was something clearly beautiful about her, it was off somehow and she couldn't pinpoint what exactly _it_ was.

"What are you waiting for?"

She had been caught appraising, which was embarrassing in herself, but her boss was glaring at her furiously and she desperately needed to understand why.

"I'm sorry…"

She turned around desperately, her eyes falling on her gold etched doorplate; Victoria Duval;

"…Ms. Duval, I was under the impression you wished to speak with me further"

Her reply was short, curt and to the point,

"No!"

A head of rich red hair lowered once again and Bella felt summarily dismissed. Not wanting to make a return trip, and even though her legs felt like they would buckle under the new weight she was carrying, she wobbled down the hallway as fast as she could manage, armfuls of manuscripts in tow. As soon as she had rounded the corner, she practically threw the offending items on the floor and slumped back against the wall, feeling the burn tingle down her arms as she tried to catch her breath.

"You might want to invest in a rolling crate"

She lifted her head to meet friendly light blue eyes.

"You're Isabella right, I'm Victoria's Executive Assistant, Lauren"

She put her jello hand in the one proffered to her and tried not to grimace as the stranger pumped her muscles up and down.

"If you need anything, my office is right next to Victoria's"

She was already a couple of steps away when Bella's mind cleared.

"Hey Lauren, do you have any idea where I'm meant to go with all this?"

She flapped her arms around and saw the eyes of her savior crinkle at the corners in response.

"Give me just a second"

She paced away down the hallway and it was only a couple minutes later when she returned, motioning for Bella to follow. She wanted to smack herself in her head when she was lead into the office only two doors down.

"Here"

Bella thanked her a little too profusely before looking around the room. It was small, cramped and with the snarky twosome clearly feeling right at home, her little corner had been left littered with piles and piles of paper. It took two trips to drag the huge pile of manuscripts into the room and then the entire morning to clear all the crap from her desk, while her office mates watched on in amusement. She had planned on meeting up with Jacob for lunch, but she already felt like she was two steps behind where she should be, so she called to cancel and worked through instead. It had taken a covert call to Lauren to understand that the stack of papers she'd lugged to her office had passed through the initial publishing house screening and it was now her job to read and assess them all, submitting only those she believed worthy to Victoria at the end of the week.

She had fallen on this career path from the enigmatic ramblings of her thesis advisor in Oxford. He had encouraged her love of reading and the idea that she could shape a future around something she loved was such a new concept to her, she was immediately smitten. She was entirely too lucky to be starting at this point and not at the very bottom of the totem pole as an intern, but it was still a far mile from where she eventually wanted to be.

The excitement and enthusiasm for her position had officially begun to wear off by the end of her first week. Her co-workers hated her, they read at an astonishing rate and she hadn't seen Jacob or Alice all week. By Friday she was disillusioned and had nothing to present. Not one piece of writing that had passed her desk seemed worthy. She considered presenting something she didn't fully stand behind, but she didn't want Victoria's first impression of her ability to judge writing to be marred by her fears.

"Pete, Jay, Isabella, conference room in ten"

She felt the butterflies jump around her stomach and watched as Peter and James gathered themselves and their manuscripts in preparation. She followed suit and grabbed her rolling crate, the best purchase ever to have been made online during this century, in her very humble opinion. Both the boys sneered at her rolling friend but she just sneered on back, stupid boys didn't know what they were missing out on.

"Okay Pete, go"

Bella let out a sigh of relief, at least she didn't have to go first. She listened intently as Peter sang the praises of a hard hitting faux memoirs about addiction and rehab. She didn't know whether the book would live up to his hard sell in the retail market, but on his words alone she was sold. _This_ Peter was eloquent, charming and a completely different person from the guy she had spent the entire week loathing. He had done such a good job of earning her animosity that she couldn't find any common ground between the two personalities. Victoria didn't seem so smitten though, she fired off questions pulling apart his analysis piece by piece. By the time she was through, Bella was second guessing herself all over the place. She felt the first hints of realization that if she was going to survive in this industry, she would have to develop a truly thick skin and the ability to stand by her opinions under attack.

Victoria moved on to James and she was safe in her knowledge that this guy really was a dick. He was conceited, self righteous and from the way he tried to sell something that sounded more like porn than fiction, she couldn't fathom his place in the company. She kept her face straight but inside she was beaming as Victoria tore his ideas apart, but she didn't have long to bask as Victoria's steel blue eyes fell on her.

"Isabella"

Bella shuffled a little but kept her wringing hands hidden under the wooden table.

"I didn't believe any of the manuscripts I read were worthy of Random House"

Peter looked almost apologetic but James was openly smirking at her.

And so it began. Victoria went through every single one of her manuscripts and she refuted each one. She was so pleased that Jacob's organizational skills had rubbed off on her, knowing she was going to be presenting nothing, she was thoroughly prepared for this. Four hours later she was mentally exhausted, Victoria was a demanding adversary and she wasn't positive, but she felt that she had possibly earned just a hint of her respect. She was left with a stern warning though, her job was to find great stories and if she couldn't do that, she was out, it didn't matter how potentially unfair that might seem.

* * *

**A/N: Okay we're nearing what I think in my head as Phase 1. **

**Next chapter we're off on a double date, any ideas who with folks? **

**Anyway, to all you guys who are reading, reviewing, alerting, etc... You make writing this so much more pleasurable... so, thank you!**

**Next update might not be until Friday. It's been bubbling around in my mind and I've just managed to focus on getting the basics down, but I promise it's going to really get things going with Jasper and Bella and that's what we all want now... isn't it?  
**


	7. Inferior

**May 2009 **

What she really needed was an Alice break. The girl had barely been in town for three weeks and Bella was slowly beginning to unravel at the seams. Making what for most other people would have been a minor error, she turned up to a budget meeting without weekly reports, leaving her all but ready to throw in the towel. It didn't help when Seth; unobservant, indifferent Seth, had asked her twice already today if she was feeling well.

Slamming her office door shut behind her, she stalked towards her chair, sending her phone flying across the desk and onto the floor with her frustration.

Just a month ago, it hadn't been like this. Her focus had been on the acquisition of an elusive author she'd been chasing for months and her life was a comfortable stream of uncomplicated. But one word had sent that flying from the stratosphere, one little word that seemed to spell out devastation and destruction; Alice.

She couldn't even remember the old days anymore, the ones where there had been a happy equilibrium between the two of them. Even the small memories, tears when the other had been hurt, sharing every little secret; each one was marred, twisted and contorted into something other than the innocence it had been. Now all she was left with was the possibility of manipulation from the start.

The phone next to her buzzed and she hit the speaker phone button.

"I have Alice on the phone… again"

She'd already called three times today and while Bella couldn't help the fragment of herself that worried if something was terribly wrong, it was only a fragment.

"Take a message…. Oh and Seth, consider that my permanent stance on this matter"

Aggressively she hit the button again, effectively ending the call. She considered just what it would take to convince Alice that calls to the office were unacceptable, but then she remembered it was her own fault. If only she'd dealt with this herself instead of involving Seth, it was just another thing she would berate herself over later, but for now the damage was done and she had her reputation to rebuild. She didn't make mistakes and the fact that she had just recognized her second of the day was jarring.

Burying herself in a stack of manuscripts, she lost herself, pushing out the external wars she was fighting and just allowed her mind to relax into something she reveled in. This was one of the last sanctuaries she had left and normally something she left until the office was clear of distractions, but she needed this now. She needed to free her thoughts from the plots and paranoia that she'd allowed herself to fester in.

"Bella!"

Shocked by the invasion, she whipped her head up, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Sorry, but I've been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now. I'm heading out. Here are your messages from today"

Seth easily crossed the office in four strides and laid down the typed up messages on the corner of her desk. He tentatively backed out, hoping she wouldn't call him back in for anything else. He could take the no-bullshit Bella he'd first met, but this tempestuous anomaly had him fearing what side of her he would encounter next. The air rushed from his lungs in relief as he stepped back over the thresh-hold, out of the unpredictable lair.

She tried not to look at the paper he had left behind. Normally she would have been secretly pleased her constant rhetoric over how important presentation was had finally made it's way through Seth's ears. But she was too distracted. She could see Alice's name at least a half a dozen times and as much as she didn't want to, she couldn't hold back her hand from snatching the paper and bringing it within visual range.

Not one of her calls relayed a purpose and the anger Bella had just begun to conquer, seeped back through her system. At times like this she wondered who this little game was going to harm more in the end. She couldn't walk away from it now though, knowing if she did, in all likeliness she would have to walk away from Chicago too. If everything went according to her plan, it would be a very different Swan making that migration.

A soft devilish smile was beginning to form on her lips as she lifted the paper again and quickly scanned through the _important_ calls from the day.

Just as Bella's fingers reached to lift the receiver on her office line, an irate rhythm grumbled throughout the room. Quickly looking to the empty cradle, she remembered how she had released a minuscule fraction of her wrath earlier. Her gaze moved to the plush carpet and landed almost directly on the vibrating, flashing, piece of metal and plastic.

The name flashed aggressively at her again and again, as she drummed her fingers impatiently across the wooden surface of her oversized desk, waiting to see whether he would leave a voicemail. Almost thirty seconds later, after staring resolutely at the screen, a singular grumble announced a new message;

_Voicemail - Paul_

Her thoughts had returned to him once or twice since they had met. She knew in a parallel universe, a non-revenge driven Bella would be bouncing around like a teenage girl to have such a handsome man calling her. Unfortunately, she didn't know that girl anymore; hadn't known her for over ten years now. Instead, she was simply left to remain stoically disinterred, mulling over his possible uses as a cog in her diabolical machine.

'_Hi Bella. It's Paul, we met at Jasper and Alice's barbeque. Anyway, my company is hosting a charity event next weekend. I know it's last minute, so I understand if you have other plans, but I would love it if you would come with me. Anyway give me a call back, you have my cell number, but just in case my office number is…."_

She listened as he reeled off several different numbers she could possibly call to reach him and then two different emails as well. It was extremely short notice for a date, but it wouldn't be a real date she reasoned in her head, at least not for her, so what did she care.

Not really having much experience in the dating world, she decided to forgo what she believed would be an appropriate amount of time to play hard to get, and hit redial.

His voice was just as deep and welcoming as it had been on her voicemail and she threw on a smile, knowing how it would change the undulations of her voice.

"Hi Paul, I was hoping you would call"

The extended pause he took threw her slightly. He was the one who had called to ask her out, didn't that mean this was a foregone conclusion if she seemed to be enthusiastically agreeing? Barely two minutes into her adult foray into dating, she was feeling exhausted.

"Bella?"

She nodded, but of course he wouldn't see her, realizing her foolish error, she cleared her throat and tried a giggle.

"Yes, this is Bella"

"Sorry, you sounded different… So you got my voicemail. I'm sorry it's such short notice, but I was going to be out of town this weekend scouting a ball player at Notre Dame, but he got injured, so…."

Hmming in the right places, Bella listened as he told her his story and then informed her the event was black tie. Great, she thought, now to top the week off she had to go dress shopping. But it would be worth it she reasoned, for not two minutes earlier her ears had pricked up when she'd heard him say Jasper and Alice would also be attending.

They ended the conversation with plans for him to pick her up and for the second time in as many weeks, she was handing out the location of her apartment like it didn't send tremors of uncertainty down her spine. Her hand unconsciously leafed through the pile of apartment listings Seth had researched for her earlier in the week. She was yet to rationalize out whether it made sense to move now, as she desperately desired, or after this whole thing was over, the logical choice.

Three days wasn't a lot of time to find the perfect dress and as Bella didn't have the usual set of female friends to ask for advice, she headed down to Michigan Avenue solo, knowing she hadn't limited time and patience for such an endeavor.

Hearing it was a gown affair and from a few previous experiences through work, she knew just the type of dress to look for. Bella trawled through several of her go-to stores for such an occasion, but nothing called to her. Just as she was about to admit defeat and wear something from her closet, she walked past a discrete little boutique.

It took barely the time to catch her breath to spot the dress she was dreaming about across the room. The store boasted one of a kind designs and here was hers, a dark gun metal shade of silver silk, with neat little flowing cap sleeves, a silhouette to cling to her every curve and the final crowning glory, a cut that scooped so low it was showed every curve and flowing inch of her back.

Fingering the delicate fabric beneath her soft fingertips, she almost didn't want to try it on and ruin the fabulous illusion the garment had created in her mind. But it didn't disappoint, and as the two store owners eyed her in approval, she knew that this dress had always been destined for her.

Needing neither shoes, nor accessories, which she never wore, she strode back down through the yellow glow of the city with a slink in her step that hadn't been there before. She wasn't big on shopping as a hobby, but she did revel in the joy of finding something that would make her lift her head just a little higher, set her spine just a little straighter and bring a sway to her steps.

Putting the finishing touches to her smoky eyes with a second coat of mascara, she began to braid small strands of her hair, before she pulled it all together in a contrived messy bun on top of her head. Letting just a few strands softly in her eyes, she finally took a step back and appraised.

Not getting dressed up for anything other than work, it was nice to feel the fine fabric of the dress move against her bare skin. The smile that played on her lips was genuine and she allowed the sweet thoughts to nestle for a few more minutes, before collecting herself in preparation.

It was just as she was stepping back through to the kitchen with her black dress coat in tow when the intercom buzzed, Eric's voice filling her apartment declaring Paul's arrival.

As she took the elevator down, there were no butterflies, no hopeful feelings of how the night could end and that was almost a bitter disappointment to her. She was going through the motions of living a normal life, but no where along the way did she truly stop to consider that she could have this. All she needed to do was push aside the past, finally move beyond the memories that had plagued her for so long, but now that revenge was a tangible taste in her mouth, she would never forget the potential potency of the sensation.

"Bella, you look beautiful"

She dipped her head as his eyes trailed up and down, smiling knowingly that with her coat already buttoned up, he had barely seen the warm-up act, let alone the main event.

Dressed in a tailored black suit, she would barely be able to deny he was one of the most appetizing men she had ever laid her eyes on. His eyes twinkled in amused delight as he caught her approving appraisal and without warning wrapped his fingers around her soft delicate palm and led her to the town car waiting on the curb.

When the car pulled up to The Drake, Bella was silently pleased. Her dress was beautiful, but it needed a venue to really showcase how special it was and now that they were here, the night had a certain air about it that just felt right.

Paul was a gentleman as he led her inside, where an attendant took her coat. The foyer was beautiful as ever, but it was lost to Bella as she spotted Alice and Jasper a few shoulder widths away from them, her presence as yet unseen.

With the rush of finding a dress at such short notice, Bella hadn't bothered to investigate Alice's unending calls. Seeing her now under the soft lighting, Bella's eyes quickly scavenged across her skin, memorizing her opponent before the secret battle began.

Alice hadn't chosen a traditional gown, instead her body was draped with an architecturally inclined cocktail dress. The color, a deep mauve, was exquisite, but it stood out almost garishly amongst the flowing fields of silk and lace. But as that thought fell from Bella's mind, another dropped succinctly in it's place; that was the point. It would be atypical for Alice to follow the crowd, so here she stood with a length of leg on show, where everyone else showed none.

Bella quite rightly didn't care though and neither did her date either, as he pressed almost indecently against her and whispered deeply in her ear.

"I thought you were beautiful before, but I don't have the words to describe what I see now"

Grateful that he couldn't see the grimace she was hiding on her face, she lifted her hand in show and was secretly pleased when he silently took it and led them through to the Grand Ballroom and directly to their table. Just as she had hoped, a few minutes later Jasper and Alice arrived and took the seats to her side.

She smiled warmly at Jasper as he sat down next to her. Pushed a seat away through designated seating arrangements, Alice was forced to smile across over the small expanse of table Jasper occupied.

"Bella, you look beautiful"

Bella allowed herself the softest of smiles as she looked into Alice's eyes and while her words stung to say, she forced them out none the less.

"As do you Alice, the color of your dress is divine"

The words felt false and tepid on her tongue, so without thought she began to scope the room for Paul and his mission to procure a few pre dinner drinks. Spotting him weaving his way back to her, she left his approaching gait as she forced her attention back to her prey.

Before she could speak a word though, Alice was already babbling in excitement, seeking Jasper's approval about her sister being entwined with his oldest friend. He was indulging her with his acceptance, but to Bella he didn't seem entirely sincere.

Neither seemed to notice as Bella sat back and drifted into the position of an observer. Jasper's three piece suit was expensive, it was well cut and obviously tailored for his broad shoulders and chest. But it was the way his tie was already loosened, his top button prized open and all this not only ten minutes into the event that intrigued her. He gave the allure of being completely as ease, but the manner of his dress suggested entirely otherwise. She wondered what he would rather be doing. Would it still include Alice by his side, or was she simply another thing that he _looked _content with.

His demeanor and beyond intrigued her and she felt at odds with that thought. While she enjoyed the allure and majestic feeling of coming to these sorts of events, she would only indulge herself perhaps once or twice a year. Alice, however, no doubt desired to attend each and every one. Maybe, she considered, this was the root of Jasper's nonchalantly simple ways of defiance.

As Paul took the seat next to her and placed a rather large glass of champagne in front of her, she noted the differences and similarities between the two friends. Both were exquisite examples of masculinity, but while Paul was overtly alert, his back straight and his eyes darting. Jasper seemed to possess an internal strength that spilled out an aura of confidence around him.

"So Bella, tell us how you spent your week"

Paul was already gazing at her, but with his question brought not only two sets of eyes, but several others who had taken up the eight other empty seats at the table. Ten years ago she would have blushed, fumbled and flummoxed her mind searching for an appropriate answer. But she was too well versed in being put on the spot these days for the attention to even ruffle a single feather.

"Well, I finally caught an author I have been trying to pin down for months which was quite satisfying. Other than that I'm afraid it's just been a deluge of meetings, as usual"

She waved her hand extravagantly and looked at the faces knowingly around the table. Each one made the appropriate gesture of looking as if they understood her dilemma, before a tiny elderly lady with white hair set in beautiful waves spoke up.

"Do you have any authors we might know dear?"

Bella rattled off the few names that always made people gasp and with each she took pride in knowing she had landed them and kept their loyalty through her own hard work, persistence and continued perseverance. She felt Alice's eyes bore into the side of her head and she decided it was time to move on.

"Yes, it's been quite a joy to work with them. But seriously if you want to be impressed, I believe you simply need to ask Paul how his clients are doing"

For just a moment, Bella imagined them doing this in the future, throwing conversations and praise back and forth as they patted their own heads and lounged in their successes. But it was a cold vision, devoid of emotion and Bella knew that while they would make a dynamic power couple, the raw attraction wasn't there for her and that was all they would ever be.

The speeches and entertainment filled the room as plates of delicious food clinked back and forth in front of Bella. She tasted everything, savoring the delights of each dish on her tongue, before the plate was pulled swiftly away, following a timetable her petite palate found it hard to keep up with. By the fifth course she could barely manage the smallest of tastes and Paul had taken to obviously reaching across and finishing whatever she couldn't. His actions, nor the indifferent manner of his movement bothered her, it was the sheer intimacy of the action that caused her to take pause and move slightly back in her seat, so his body wouldn't brush so thoroughly against hers as he reached across again and again.

When the words had fallen silent and a four piece orchestral unit began to play on stage, Bella felt herself relax. The structured, difficult part of the dinner was over and from experience this was when the neatly coiffed hair started to unravel, while dinner jackets were tossed firmly aside.

"Will you dance with me Bella?"

For the first time all night she felt truly uncomfortable as she stared at the smoothly tanned hand being offered to her. Dancing was something she did in her bedroom, dressed in pajamas with an empty glass of wine on the nightstand, it wasn't something to be shown or seen in public. She composed herself quickly though and smiled broadly up at Paul with his expectant eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't dance. But I know that Alice does, perhaps she would take my place?"

The words slipped from her mouth without thought and only once they existed in the atmosphere did she realized how they could be construed. Looking towards Alice, she noted nothing amiss on her face and sighed internally as her faux pas passed by them with ease.

"I would love to Paul"

Alice looked so tiny next to Paul's side and as she watched them fade into the crowd she realized this was how she must look at his side. Delicate and feminine; everything she had ever hoped to feel. So why didn't she feel that way with him. It took Jasper's hand on her arm to clear her mind and when she looked down to the strength of his flesh pressed against hers, she was entranced by the way he held her.

His grasp wasn't the cautious grip she was used to with men, and even Alec who she enjoyed for the way he seemed so careless around her, paled in comparison to this. In no way was she hurt by his grasp, but she was unerringly aware of his strength, until finally he pulled his hand back.

It must have all occurred within a manner of seconds, but Bella felt a light hue of pink rise to her cheeks, something she hadn't felt in years.

"Why won't you dance?"

Instead of just brushing him off with a perfunctory answer, she actually considered her reticence for a moment. She knew if Paul had asked her the same question, she would laugh offhandedly about her clumsy nature, but that wasn't true anymore. Confidence had cured her of that frailty and it was one naivety she wasn't longing to regain.

"I haven't really ever danced formally, with a partner I mean. I guess I'm nervous I would just make a fool of myself"

This was what her steps had told her to do wasn't it? It didn't hurt that it was the truth, never had she been led around the dance floor, guided by the trust of another person, but it didn't hurt that she knew her vulnerability would appeal to step three; let him help you.

Perhaps it was the genuine fear in her voice, or the appeal she was making to his masculine nature, but before she could say another word he was pulling her to her feet and leading her to the dance floor.

The implications of her dress hadn't even entered her mind until she felt one of his hands press firmly against her naked back, pushing her body firmly against his. He didn't leave her the space to look down at her feet and as she met his bright sapphire eyes, he moved his body lithely across the floor, leaving her no choice but to follow.

He kept their progression slow to begin with, but as she lost herself under his watchful gaze, their movements sped up to match those twirling and spinning around them.

Breaking the spell she was under, she pried her eyes from his and seeing the pace they were spinning, began to falter slightly. His hand left hers, only to reach under her chin, lifting her eyes once again to his.

"Trust me"

Two words, two syllables and a endless number of complications thereafter. She couldn't help herself though as she did meet his gaze and this time, his arrogant smirk was met with a bright smile as her feet began to flow once more.

She wasn't sure if she should jinx the moment, but she needed more than this from him. A silent parade around the dance floor was fine with no other agendas involved, but hers called for more.

"When did you learn how to dance?"

His eyes twitched just slightly and she pocketed the movement away for future reference.

"My fathers third wife thought I needed to be more well rounded"

The relaxed set of his features showed her no reason for caution, so she moved to pursue her line of questioning.

"So, what else did she force upon you?"

As he twirled her away from his body and back again, she thought perhaps he wasn't going to answer, but back in his arms again, he held her firmly and seemed to soften all at once.

"Well, I took two months of cello before I convinced the guy teaching me I would be better of with a guitar instead. Along with that, I took a year of horse riding, six months of fencing and then finally I put my foot down when she tried to suggest culinary classes"

Bella opened her mouth but the only thing to come out was; "Wow"

The giggle that fell from her lips was quite sincere as he nodded, his head dropping in a mockingly ashamed manner.

"Yep, she didn't last long though, so thankfully I didn't have to suffer her tortures for too long"

Thinking back on her own childhood she couldn't think of a moment when Charlie had mentioned doing anything extracurricular, let alone trying to convince her of it's advantages. Resolutely she swept the thought aside, whomever Jasper had as his fathers third wife, she most certainly wasn't a police chief working pretty much solo in a Podunk town, while trying to keep to two teenage daughters in check.

Just as she was about to follow on with her questions, the music changed to something more up tempo. Her body tensed unconsciously at the thought of anything requiring more skill, and she wasn't sure whether it was a response to her reaction or his own choice. But Jasper took a step back and raised the back of her hand to his lips, leaving her with a soft kiss and then leading her back to the table.

Unexpectedly Paul and Alice had remained on the dance floor, giving Bella the chance to smile at her good fortune.

"Would you like another drink?"

Weighing up whether she could take another without losing absolute control, she decided that one more wouldn't hurt.

"Yes, thank you Jasper"

Watching him walk away was fascinating. Almost every woman he passed turned her head slightly, following his wake.

"Bella. I can't believe you're here!"

Pulling her eyes from Jasper's retreating form, Bella barely had time to register who was sitting next to her before she was being exuberantly air kissed on both cheeks.

"Hello Leah, how are you?"

Leah completely ignored her question and began exaggeratedly scanning the crowds.

"I've been trying to drag you to these things for years, I can't wait to meet the man who finally broke you down"

Bella laughed lightly; if only she knew. Leah, she decided, looked absolutely beautiful as usual. She'd cut deep bangs into her glossy black hair and they framed her darkly lined eyes, making them stand out dramatically against her flawless skin.

"Oh and before you ask, no I don't have the next draft done for you yet"

Just as she was about to say that they didn't need to talk about business, Jasper loudly took his seat again and looked at her pointedly.

"Leah Scott, this is Jasper Whitlock. Jasper this is Leah"

Even though she knew it was the polite thing to tell each a little about the other. If she could avoid doing so, she didn't want to bring Alice into anything work based.

If she expected polite pleasantries to pass back and forth on either side of her, she was to be disappointed. Instead Jasper was already asking how Embry, Leah's son was doing. Bella wasn't doing a particularly good job of hiding her surprise and just as she was finally getting to grips with the notion that the two not-so strangers knew one another, in swept Alice and Paul, making Bella twitch uncomfortably in her seat.

Alice didn't wait for introductions, instead she slunk right in and greeted Leah like an old friend and as Paul did the same, Bella felt entirely out of her depth. Her two worlds were being forcibly amalgamated together and while she could have listened in and caught the connection, instead she sat a little sullenly, sipping her champagne.

"Would you dance with me now Bella?"

In truth she didn't want to. The idea of Paul holding her in such an intimate manner felt like maybe she would be taking this whole date thing too far. But the desire to escape was strong enough to overpower her reservations.

His arm curled around her body and as the dance floor drew nearer, she could feel her nerves begin to gather. While Paul was a body of strength, he didn't lead her with the same finality that Jasper had, so time and again she found her feet connecting with his own.

"So how do you know Leah?"

Taking the question away that was poised on her lips, Bella instead thought to her own answer.

"She was the first author I ever signed and she's stuck with me ever since. We've published four books together now. How about you? What's your Leah connection?"

Paul tried to dip her, but her muscles were too tense and she ended up feeling like a bit of a stick insect. He made up for it by laughing a deep chuckle, breaking the tension and in spite of herself, she couldn't help but join in.

"We all went to the same prep school. Jasper, Sam, Leah and I. I've pretty much known her all my life"

Even though she could tell he was holding back, she didn't push the subject and while it had been enjoyable, Bella was glad when the song came to an end.

When they had almost reached the table, Bella felt her arm being held from the side. Turning towards the intrusion, she saw Leah smiling broadly at her.

"Can I have a moment Bella?"

Waving Paul on, she followed as Leah led her back to what she assumed was her table, where Marcus, her husband, was sitting locked in conversation with two other middle aged men.

"Bella, darling! How are you?"

"I'm wonderful Marcus, and yourself"

She nodded politely as Marcus began to tell his counterparts all about Bella and the role she played in Leah's life. She was just about to answer one of their questions, when Leah stepping in with her impatient grace.

"Boys, while I'm sure Bella would love to sit here all night entertaining you. I have stolen her away and I'm sure I don't have long before one of her friends comes to steal her back, so if you wouldn't mind, I will be keeping her for myself"

The men were used to her, Bella was sure, after all Leah was renowned for bulldozing situations to suit herself. So they simply laughed amongst themselves before returning back to their private discussions.

"So, are you free tomorrow night?"

Bella's forehead drew down a little, as she tried to understand why it was necessary for her to pulled away for this.

"Well yes, I am. Did you want to get together to discuss the next draft?"

Leah threw her head back and laughed, drawing attention from not only Marcus and his friends, but several other tables.

"Bella, you just can't quit can you. When I want to talk about the books I'll call Seth and make an appointment. How is my little brother doing by the way?"

Her eyes sparkled mischievously and Bella's mouth fell open.

"Seth?"

Instead of saying anything further, Leah head just bobbed up and down, her eyes glinting.

"He's getting there"

The fact that he was Leah's brother didn't give her any misgivings for her attitude towards him, she was simply intrigued that she hadn't seen the similarities before.

"Good, I hope you won't treat him any differently now you know. Anyway, tomorrow night, how do you feel about cocktails?"

The thought of getting drunk with one of her authors didn't fill her with enthusiasm, but she would do her best to indulge this new side of Leah.

"I think we have a lot to talk about"

Bella was about to ask what exactly, but Leah was already on her feet, kissing her cheeks and without saying so, essentially sending her on her way.

"Let's say seven thirty, I'll come to your apartment"

Feeling a little like she didn't know what she'd agreed to, Bella was still standing there as Leah raised one eyebrow in her direction.

"Oh, well, do you know where I live?"

Leah laughed lightly once again and patted Bella on her forearm.

"Obviously I do sweetie"

It didn't seem quite so obvious to Bella though. She's never been there, never had they discussed her neighborhood. But instead of speaking her frustrations she took the hint and walked Back across the ballroom to find Paul sitting alone.

"Alice and Jasper had to leave. He has an early flight to catch"

The disappointment she felt was kept firmly locked inside as she smiled brightly at Paul. The speeches had been long, as they usually were and she guessed the time was somewhere around ten pm. Feigning a yawn she looked apologetically at Paul, before laying her hand softly on his forearm.

"Paul, would you mind terribly if we left too. I think all that dancing took it out of me"

If he thought it was a comical excuse she was making after only forays onto into the dancing world, he didn't say a thing. Instead, like the gentleman he had been all night, he took her hand and walked her back through to the foyer where he retrieved both their coats.

The car ride home was silent and as he walked her to the door, instead of inviting him up as his hopeful eyes suggested he would like, she placed her hands on his shoulders and raised herself up, leaving a lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you Paul. I had a really great time"

She was just about to pull away from him when one of his arms wrapped around her, bringing her flush against his body once again. Her eyes raised to his and found amusement there. Almost too quickly for her to catch, his lips were down on hers, softly caressing.

The kiss was too short for her to protest and when he stepped back, she was left feeling the chill of the night as his body heat left her own, the shock of his audacity still on her lips.

Without another word, she turned away from him and walked into her apartment building, not turning to look back once as she kept the amused smile she was wearing solely for herself.

* * *

**a/n: Sorry I didn't get this out yesterday, Xmas is messing with all my plans!**

**Next chapter will be the last one set in the past and will shed the light on why Bella is so messed up. It's mostly done so hopefully I can get that out for you by mid week, then hopefully as a special Xmas gift to you all I can get the next one out next weekend.**


	8. Insult

**2003 - Scottsdale, Arizona**

Weeks two and three felt like carbon copies of her first week. With one huge exception. Bella found a manuscript she was firmly behind and couldn't help feeling completely demoralized when Victoria shot down her recommendation without a second glance. It was a blessing when Lauren had come to her rescue with tiny measure of saving grace.

"Don't let her get you down Bella, Victoria's a bitch, but if she respects people with balls"

The newfound friends had fallen apart childishly with laughter at the particular turn of phrase, but Bella had decided to take what she meant not too literally. So for the second week in a row, while the butterflies she was nurturing took flight, she presented the same manuscript at the end of week review. When it was shot down again, she resolutely decided to persevere again and again, until Victoria could finally see the true beauty in the words she was reading and relented.

Jacob had been nagging her to slow down, trying to tell her that it wasn't the best plan to ruffle feathers so early on. But she merely convinced herself that he didn't understand her drive, or her particular niche of the industry. She wanted to be successful and even though this wasn't New York, it was the first chance she would have to prove herself as a true adult. He was working at a Men's Health magazine, a perfect fit for him and as everything just seemed to fall in place with a laissez faire ease for him, she envied his laid back attitude. So far they had managed one disastrous formal date where she had fallen asleep at the movies and she had begged and pleaded for days for the opportunity to make it up to him this weekend. He had told her it was unnecessary, but she could see in his eyes the appreciation of her persistence

"Bells, are you ready?"

She was tired and grouchy, but she forced a smile onto her face as she appraised herself in the mirror one last time. her hair which fell loosely to the tops of her shoulders wasn't as shiny as it should be and the dark rings under her eyes were un-concealable, no matter how many layers of gunk she added to their depths. She didn't look like a girl in love, or even in lust, she looked like someone about to endure a lengthy chore and she hated how much that thought resonated within her. She tried one more time with her smile and while it was better, it still didn't reach her eyes, her only hope was that Jacob would be too distracted by her short hemline to notice; a cheap but usually effective trick.

She strolled out the living area, her heels clacking on the wooden floor, her eyes trailing all the way up Jacob's body, following the path of his distinctive muscles to his dark messy hair. He truly was a beautiful man, both inside and out and she prayed that she could muster the energy reserves he more than rightly deserved from her.

He strode confidently across the floor to her and kissed her delicately before looping her arm through his, she wanted to make some smart comment about a prom date, but she was really trying, which meant obvious friendly banter was out and awkward silences were in.

The car ride was filled with the usual low tones of the country music station and all awkwardness faded as she finally settled into the night. The restaurant and food were extravagant and she felt like a small girl again, dressing up in Renee's heels and playing at being something she wasn't ready for yet. But she kept reminding herself to keep an open mind, however, that in itself was adding such a strain as she thought out every action. As they left the restaurant behind and strolled out into the already stiflingly warm early summer air she lingered her fingers on Jacobs chest, pulling him to her into a risqué kiss. They had always been so cautious with one another, but the time had passed for caution. If they were truly going to do this then they needed to throw both feet in the water, not a squirrelly pinky toe.

The kiss was passionate and it wasn't one sided. Jacob pushed her aggressively back against the car, molding his body to hers and she finally felt something strong stir within her. It was the most heart stopping kiss she had encountered with him; tasting of potential and potency, and the sensation lifted the weight she had been burdening on her slim shoulders. Finally detaching herself from his broad embrace she even felt lighter and as he opened her door like a true gentleman, she laid a soft but lingering kiss on his lips. Looking at herself in the small pull down mirror she finally saw what she had been looking for in her eyes all day, pure happiness.

Jacob had graciously just planned for the restaurant, seeing the stresses she had forced upon herself with such an extensive work schedule, he didn't think she would be up for anything else. It was so strange though, the moment they stepped back over the threshold of the apartment she felt the shift between them. It was transitory and unexplainable but like a line in the sand had been drawn, the magic was lost. Inside the confines of these four walls they had faded from Bella and Jacob with passion, to the safe and quite boring Bella and Jacob, college friends who had made the choice of love. She didn't understand herself, so she dreaded ever having to explain how she was feeling to him. Deciding that maybe it was normal for people in their situation to feel this way, she kept her mouth shut.

She kept it shut the whole following week and the one that proceeded and as the weeks fell by, they fell into a comfortable routine. Until suddenly, without warning, her world came tumbling down at her feet.

"Staff meeting in ten minutes"

Bella noted Lauren throwing James a sickening look, as she lifted head to meet the familiar authoritative voice. When she finally looked her way, Bella threw Lauren a raised eyebrow and she responded with a classic shoulder shrug. The whole office had been buzzing with electricity since Monday and those in the know were keeping very quiet as to why. It was frustrating and the hushed whisper reminded her too vividly of High School to be enjoyable on any level.

Finishing up her current page she rolled her shoulders back, stretching her stiff muscles out. Peter and James both performed similar actions and not for the first time, she wished they could have the type of office camaraderie she had dreamily envisioned in her mind. She wasn't taking it personally though, it had taken her a little over a month to see that it wasn't just her they loathed, they despised each other too. It would be fair to say this little corner of the office wasn't in the running to win any positive energy awards in the distant, or near future.

Bella picked up her notebook and headed out to the large conference room, snagging a open seat next to Lauren who was too busy hawking the door, no doubt for a sight of James, to notice her presence.

"Alright everyone, I would like to introduce everyone to Kate Denali. For those of you who don't know, Kate is the VP of our the New York offices. Kate?"

A slight, fifty something woman with a firm eye and soft smile stood up and immediately commanded the entire room.

"As all of you are aware we have been conducting an evaluation of the infrastructure of the company, looking to find the most efficient methodology in taking Random House into the next millennium…"

Bella tried to keep a positive attitude but this felt a lot like bad news being wrapped up in company jargon to drop her guard.

"…for those of you not being offered positions in our Chicago or New York offices, Random House will be providing a generous severance package. I will be seeing individuals and departments throughout the day. If you have any questions please see your direct supervisor for more information."

As she stepped down a collective hum filled the room. Bella tried to see the silver lining but this job had been such an anomaly for someone of her age and work history to obtain. Being so new, she doubted a severance package would last anywhere close to long enough for her to find something at all, let alone of a similar caliber.

Everyone trundled back to their offices and the buzz turned gently into a roar. Bella tried to bury herself in the manuscripts but every time someone passed the door, she jumped just a little. Every thirty minutes it would be clear another department had learned their fate; the hallways would fill with tears of excitement or grief and then it would die down again, only for the process to begin again thirty minutes later. It was excruciating and of course her department was the last of the day to be called. Not being able to delegate a direction that could benefit her, she had already resigned herself to the fate of lamb to slaughter.

"Sorry to keep your group so late Vicky, bet you guys have been reading the same page all day haven't you?"

The jesting tones were unwelcome but Bella threw out a disingenuous smile anyway out of sheer manners.

"So, it's late and if I'm honest I've been at this all day so I'll keep it sweet for you. As the highest revenue producing fiction department outside of New York, we would like to relocate your entire department to our Chicago offices. If you accept our offer we will generously subsidize your relocation costs and additional inconveniences you may incur. I have individual contracts here for each of you which clearly outline your specific packages. Ideally we would like an answer by the end of the week, which of course in your case unfortunately means you have two days to come to a decision. If you have any additional questions please refer them to Victoria. Congratulations and I hope to see all of you back out east very soon."

They were through with the speeches, that much was obvious as each body began to mobilize in some form or anything, but Bella couldn't find a single muscle to move. Lauren who was beaming at nothing in particular looked practically thrilled at the change in their destinies. Peter and James were both burrowing through their packages, probably looking for the pages that mentioned anything to do with money. And that left her. Victoria was chatting amiably with the bearer of the bad news and it struck her what had been off about her boss all along. As she threw her head back in laughter she finally recognized what it was; a sudden glimmer of teeth had released her beauty and her entire face was transformed as she smiled so freely.

Watching as everyone slowly filtered out of the room leaving her alone, she finally managed to stand and ran straight into Kate.

"Hello, Isabella isn't it? I noticed you weren't looking too pleased with the announcements today, I have heard wonderful things about you. I hope we don't lose you"

She pulled her eyebrows down, wondering where she could have heard anything favorable about her, as she was almost certain it couldn't have come from Victoria.

"This is a great opportunity, especially for someone as young as you are, something I would have jumped at when I was your age. May she ask? Is there something specifically keeping you in Arizona?"

Thinking about the question, she answered succinctly.

"Yes"

She couldn't walk away now, not with the opportunity to rebuild her relationship with Alice at her fingertips. They were just balancing on the precipice and if she left, she couldn't imagine when or how she would truly get her sister back again.

On the walk home the heat that she stubbornly pretended hadn't bothered her, truly didn't. She rationalized out that this was worth it, her career had only just started, but it would never be worth more than rebuilding her relationship with Alice. By the time she had arrived back at the apartment she was resolute. No one needed to know what she was giving up, she would just claim to be part of the severance departments and they would never find out another choice lay at her fingertips. She looked at her watch and saw just how early she was in comparison to her usual week nights.

Thinking about the evening spanned out in front of her and the time she could potentially spend with Jacob, when she entered the apartment and found nothing but silence, she was disappointed; and then she remembered. Jake had been excited about this night for weeks, his best friend from school was turning twenty one and they had an all out boys night full of strip clubs, shots and hi-jinks pre arranged.

Just thinking about it and the amount of effort she'd seen Jake put in for a guy he'd barely seen in three years made her feel guilty. The excuses she'd paraded in front of him for not seeing him, not having the energy to give him her all; they weren't worth anything when he devoted himself to her so wholly.

Looking around the apartment she thought about doing something for him that he would appreciate, but the place was spotless, so cleaning was out. Instead she settled back and made a shopping list for the next day. If there was a sure fire way to Jake's heart, it was most definitely through his stomach. His favorite meals came to life beneath her fingertips and with a list almost a page long, she knew it would be worth it; he was definitely worth it.

The night had been filled with television shows she hadn't watched since High School and now, as her alarm clock beeped aggressively from the bedside table, she was pleased to feel the welcome effects of an early night. The room felt wrong somehow and as she turned over to assess the damage, she realized why. She was alone. That wasn't so terrible she thought, no doubt Jake had passed out at one of his friends houses, or fallen asleep on the couch in one of his thoughtful gestures.

The easy morning had obviously seeped through into her unconscious being, and without her usual repeated attacks on the snooze button, every task was performed with a languid essence.

Putting the finishing touches to her appearance with a quick layer of mascara, she finally strode through to the kitchen, but something in the living room made her pause mid step.

Jake was snoring softly on the couch and just knowing he was home and safe filled her with a comforting warmth. Her feet pressed down on the wooden floors with more caution as she grabbed a poptart and her bag. It didn't matter to her that the clock indicated she would actually be a few minutes late, after all she was essentially handing in her notice today. Looking over his broad torso as it rose and fell rhythmically, Bella reached forward and tucked the blanket back around his feet, assuming they had wriggled free with sleep. Her hand longed to stretch just a little further north, to feel the warmth he always exuded and wrapped her in, but she stopped herself before the temptation overcame her sensibility.

As her heels clicked down on the sidewalk between her apartment building and the office, Bella looked around with more interest than she ever had before. The buildings that she passed now had a color and occupant, the park a name and a stream she hadn't even bothered to see before. But not a single sight took away from the compulsion of her choice, as the day began to blossom around her.

"Hey Lauren, is Victoria free?"

Bella's eyes followed Lauren's to the closed door next to her and she felt a flash of sympathy as Lauren looking heartbroken, wrenched her eyes back again.

"Sorry Bella, James is in there right now, and I think he decided to turn down the move"

The frustration she felt at not being able to proclaim her decision immediately was swept away as a single tear traced down Lauren's face.

"I know it's stupid and I know he doesn't feel the same way, but I think I love him Bella. I'm trying not to be so pathetic but I don't know if I can go without him"

Feelings of hatred bubbled within Bella as she thought of the greasy haired man currently sitting across from Victoria. Lauren had confessed the way James called on her from time to time, promising her the world and then walking away when he was spent without a returning glace. And even though it was obvious the girl knew she was being used, Lauren was most certainly smitten, so each time she convinced herself this time he finally meant it.

"Lauren, maybe if he doesn't go it'll be a good thing"

Even though Lauren was nodding, Bella could see the pain she was trying so desperately to mask. An inconvenient phone call interrupted them and Bella decided she would come back when James was through.

Greeting Peter, she gravitated swiftly to her own desk, turning on her computer and pulling open her emails as she did each morning.

It took a while for the archaic system to load and as she drummed her pen against the fake veneer of her desk, she planned out her route home with a side trip to the supermarket in her mind.

Finally as her email system began to ping at her with new messages, Bella pulled herself from her mental musings and scanned the inbox. Most of the addresses were internal and all were known senders but as her eyes reached the newest message she paused. The address wasn't one she recognized and the subject matter '_Look a little closer'_, peaked her interest. They had recently attended a boring two hour seminar on the perils and pitfalls of the internet, but curiosity overcame professionalism, as she clicked resolutely on the message.

Six simple words and an empty black box filled the screen.

_For old times sake. _

_Love Rosalie_

The message sent a shiver of apprehension down her spine and as a little green line moved with an unnaturally slow speed, Bella didn't know if she really wanted to see what this little black box would bring when opened.

Victoria was entirely forgotten, her mind was now filled with images of Alice's best friend from school. Trying desperately to remember if Alice had mentioned Rosalie recently, she could vaguely recollect her sister saying how she'd been spotted by a model scout and was based mostly in New York, but that didn't offer any explanation as to why she was sending cryptic emails on a Thursday morning.

Finally the green line filled to the end and the black box came to life.

The image was grainy at best, but she would know him anywhere.

Jacob was sitting slumped at the end of a large bed, his head down low. She knew the pose, she'd seen it exactly two times before and could perfectly recall both on command. Jake could take his liquor better than any human she'd ever met, but he wasn't immortal. He had a definitive line in his system, an invisible boundary where one side he was imperceptibly intoxicated, the other he was blind drunk, and it would all occur within seconds. She was fairly sure this was Jacob in the latter state.

She didn't have long to spend thinking minutia over though, when from the left of the screen another body appeared. Slender legs became narrow hips as they swayed away from the camera. Bella wanted to reach out and stop them, but the legs and hips gave way to a waves and waves of blonde hair. Without a face, with three years of distance. Bella knew. And even though she didn't need confirmation, Rosalie Hale turned towards the camera and winked as she slithered into Jacobs lap, his hands finding purchase on her hips, traveling upwards with a slovenly intent.

Her body recoiled, her stomach twisted in revulsion, but her eyes remained glued to the screen. Each kiss, each time Rosalie threw her head back in pleasure, each path his hands traversed; each pixel was indelibly marked in her mind.

As the green line filled and Bella felt that finally she would find some relief, Rosalie turned her head back to the camera and motioned with her fingers for someone to come nearer. It was then that Bella realized the jolting movements hadn't even registered before, but suddenly the camera was jostling all over until it was placed on something solid, altering the previous angle slightly.

Ten seconds. Ten seconds of legs, a graceful back and finally a crop of dyed blonde hair and Bella didn't need the warning to look a little closer. The mirror image of herself had just moved to take the place on top of Jacob that Rosalie had just vacated.

Those ten seconds spanned the course of an hour as Bella replayed them over and over again. If there was a numbness to be found within the images, she never found it. On the third pass she recognized Alice's bedroom and as the hour mark clicked past, she was finally resolute. She didn't need her eyes to see it any more, as each millisecond was tattooed underneath her skin. Hitting delete, she set her shoulders back and closed down her station.

The tears she had kept at bay with activity were threatening to spill and as she took her body and moved it back towards Lauren, each step pounded up through her spine.

Luckily Victoria was free and it took five rotations of the minute hand for Bella to seal her future. As she gathered her belongings in a robotic manner, she wished her work colleagues goodbye and stepped back through the Scottsdale sun for the last time.

Clothes fell into boxes as tears streamed down her cheeks, and with only two phone calls she was walking away from the life that barely three hours before she had been racing towards.

Pausing in the kitchen, she stood and stared at the little chalk board she and Jake often left little loving messages on. The last was a heart she had left for Jake this morning and just seeing it there, so simple and innocent, her knees nearly buckled beneath her.

Pulling herself together, she swiped her hand across the board, destroying her sentiment and sending the board clattering to the floor in one clumsy motion.

* * *

**a/n: Happy Holidays everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful time. I have to say that Santi Claws officially kicked my arse this year and I'm really sorry for not getting this out sooner as I planned but life seriously got in the way.**

**Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter, it took me a while to finally feel like it was right and this marks the end of the Bella/Alice back story. Maybe now you can see why the hatred! From now on we will be moving forward with Bella's little plot for revenge... **

**Thanks to all of you who read/review/alert/favourite... I am so grateful to you all, you make putting these stories out there worthwhile. **

**Oh and I keep forgetting to mention. I'm almost done with an epilogue for In Omne Tempus. I know it's a long time coming, but I finally felt comfortable being back in Bella and Jared's heads, so if you're an IOT fan, keep your eyes out, it's going to be up in the next two weeks... **

**xxx  
**


	9. Ignite

**May 2009**

Surprises didn't suit her. That much she deduced after fluffing the two throw pillows she owned for the seventy third time in two hours. Her apartment was spotless and Bella could still detect the faintly soothing scent of bleach disappearing under her newly bought rosemary and eucalyptus scented candles.

Leah had definitely said seven thirty, but after a quick scan of CNN to check all of the time telling devices in her apartment hadn't been struck by some freak localized electromagnetic pulse, she finally decided that she was being stood up. Looking to see if any of the nine o'clock movies that would start in a couple minutes were worthy of her attention, Bella finally felt her body relax. It wasn't that she minded talking business on a Saturday night, it was that she felt like the only sanctuary she had left in the world was being invaded; by everyone.

The movie list was extensive and Bella finally settled on something about teenagers and drugs. It wasn't to her usual taste, but Leah had mentioned that her book series, which currently circumnavigated the gritty life of a teenage girl was going to include some more adult themes the next time around; so it only seemed right to catch up on the genre.

Twenty minutes in and a loud knock on the door left Bella muting the television. It would be unheard of for Eric to let anyone past him without buzzing her first, but there was currently a girl walking around town wearing her face, so anything was possible.

When she saw familiar dark eyes through the peephole, the door was opened, not with the reluctance she felt all day, but clear and obvious relief that it was only Leah.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I'm late. It's a long story…"

The cheek kisses weren't for show this time and with a rigid spine, Bella attempted to welcome the open displays of affection. Her body had already moved to close the door behind her guest, when a broad body pushed through, carrying several linen bags and barely acknowledging her with a fractional incline of his head.

"This way Felix"

Leah guided the behemoth through her apartment to the kitchen without a single stutter in her step, leaving Bella to trail behind in amazement.

"Thank you Felix. I'll call when I'm ready to leave"

Without another word, the giant laid down the bags and withdrew himself. Not a word was spoken until the front door clicked shut.

"Okay, I know I'm late, but please don't be angry. I had to deal with Embry's Dad who showed up late to pick him up, so if you point me towards the blender and the glasses, I promise I'll make it up to you and have us all set in just a few minutes"

Leah was like a whirlwind as she pulled out almost ten clearly just bought bottles of varying liquors, several mixers and then a bottle of Bollinger, which she proceeded to haphazardly throw in the fridge. Placing herself on one of the leather barstools she never used, Bella settled down for the show, as Leah expertly threw a various amounts of various colored liquids, followed by some ice into the blender.

Leah tasted her concoction and threw her head back in delight, moaning quite exaggeratedly. Without asking Bella's opinion, she grabbed two large glasses, the blender jug and stalked of back in the direction of the living room.

Bella trailed after her, before curiously perching on the other edge of the sofa from where Leah was already tucked up and sipping her drink. She was struggling to be at ease with another person taking up her private space, but at least Leah wasn't wandering around commenting on the lack of pictures, or feigning some interest in the muted color scheme.

"I can't believe you're watching this. It not something I would ever picture you liking"

Bella tilted her head slightly in inquisition as Leah reached her arm out and un-muted the sound, but lowered it to a barely audible level. Bella was just about to sit back and relax when Leah abruptly turned to face her, her sharp eyes scanning over every inch of her alert body.

"So, you have a sister. Not only that, but a twin sister"

The words made Bella reach for her drink and she knew as a knowing smile passed by Leah's lips, it was the intended reaction.

As one of her authors, Bella had access to a wealth of background information on Leah, but as a rule she only asked to be informed if anything turned up that could make the publishing house deem her un-representable. She had told Leah as such when they had first met, and without needing to say so, she always expected the same respect in return. It appeared from the tone of Leah's voice that Alice wasn't exactly someone she had been expecting to walk into their scene anytime soon.

Half of her glass was drained before Bella lifted her eyes once again and it was only due to the sharp stabbing pains in her forehead that she even allowed herself that pause. The down time gave her a moment to reflect on the previous night and something flashed in her mind.

"But you've already met Alice"

Leah took a sip of her own drink, before placing it cautiously down on one of Bella's neat little coasters.

"I met her a few months ago at the wedding of a mutual acquaintance. I believe you know her"

Bella was glad she hadn't spoken the she-bitch's name in her apartment, but she couldn't stop her eyes from narrowing. Catching the unguarded reaction, she had to remind herself that first and foremost, Leah was a business colleague and a very important one at that.

"Please Bella, don't hold back on my account. Rosalie Hale is a piece of grade A bitch, I can't even tell you how relieved I was when I realized it wasn't you parading around as her Maid of Honor"

The glass that sat empty in her cold hands was replenished and Bella remained still, watching as Leah slid back into her corner of the couch, looking entirely too relaxed in her perfectly tailored dark jeans and cashmere sweater.

"Leah…."

The amount of callous words bubbling in her head seemed to overcome her sense of propriety. It didn't help that whatever was previously in her glass had gone straight to the word-to-mouth portion of her brain. But something within her, some six year sense, reminded her she had come this far on her own and it helped to guide her next few words.

"I'm sure it was a lovely wedding"

Leah looked practically forlorn as Bella sat back, her casual business smile returning, the one that never quite seemed to reach her eyes.

"Bella. I've known you for five years and I love what you've done and still do for me. But that sister of yours popped up on my radar a few months back and I need to know how worried I should be. You've never mentioned her before and you don't seem too keen to talk about her now, but one of my oldest friends just moved back to town with a fiancée who looks like the spitting image of my editor and if you ask me that's fucking weird"

Bella's eyes flicked to the television screen, her mind trolling over the words she'd just heard.

"You went to school with Jasper and Paul"

Pleased to have diverted the attention from herself, Bella eyed Leah as she casually threw back the rest of her cocktail before refilling her glass. If the line of conversation bothered her, she didn't show it in the least. Instead she flipped off her heels before stretching out her legs to rest on the couch and wiggled her perfectly manicured toes.

"We all went to a prep school out in Connecticut. I was a couple of years older than Jasper and Paul, but I knew them through Paul's brother, Sam. I dated him all the way through school and for a couple of years afterwards, until he cheated on me with some girl they met in a bar one night"

Leah nonchalantly threw the words out there and Bella shrunk back a little from how easily they fell from her lips, how her eyes didn't darken with hatred, or her shoulders didn't tense with any residue pain.

"So, we broke up, it was pretty messy for a while, especially when I found out I was pregnant with Embry, but Paul and I stayed close, he was really good to me. Both he and Jasper were, well, until a couple of years ago when business took Jasper out of state. Apparently he met your Alice through Rosalie and I don't trust that bitch as far as I can throw her, but Paul tells me everything is legit. I guess I was hoping you could back that up for me"

Bella wanted to ask how she'd overcome Sam cheating on her, but she couldn't bring herself to be so brazen. Even sitting here so casually, with no intention to discuss Leah's writing, no matter how strong the buzz in her head, she couldn't bring herself to feel fully as ease.

"How do you know Rosalie?"

The decision to keep the focus on Leah seemed to be working fine, as she sipped her drink again and trailed off into another monologue.

"I don't really. She was at school with us for a few years, but only until her Mom's second husband divorced her for the maid, leaving her with nothing but pretty fucking huge school fees, and no way to pay them. Rosalie dropped off the radar after that, but in just two years she'd made a reputation for herself as someone you didn't want to cross; manipulative, selfish and just generally a little fucked up. I don't know how much of it was true, but there were rumors of sleeping with teachers and then blackmailing them for grades, some kids even said she was fucking her Mom's husband and it was her that broke them up. But I don't know…. Like I said, she went off the radar for a while. I heard it got so bad her Mom moved them back west and in with her folks. But they didn't stay hidden for long.

I'd moved out to Chicago by then to live with Sam and out of nowhere I hear that Maria Hale is back and has her sights set on Garrett Whitlock, Jasper's dad. It didn't hurt that he'd just bid farewell to wifey number five, and everyone knew he wouldn't stay single for long. So the next thing you know there's Maria and Rosalie hanging on daddy Whitlock's arm, schmoozing him to within an inch of his life. I don't even want to tell you what the other ladies were saying. My mom practically had a fit. Anyway like I'm sure you're aware, it didn't take them long to get their claws in and now Garrett's will is being contested by Maria, and you can bet it's going to get messy"

Leah seemed to be watching her to see her reaction, but Bella just felt like she'd walked onto the set of a daytime soap opera, where real life problems just didn't exist anymore. She knew that Leah was married to one of the wealthiest men in Chicago, but something about her pushy nature had always led her to believe she'd fought her way into the marriage, not dropped into his country club with her silver spoon already stowed in her pocket. But then she remembered Embry, and how she's once told Bella that her parents had basically disowned her out after finding out she was pregnant, so maybe that tarnished silver spoon hadn't opened any doors for her in a long while.

"You look like you're thinking hard about something over there"

For once Bella reached out and topped up her own drink, not wanting to admit to Leah the line of her thoughts.

"I was wondering how I fit into all of this"

Leah laughed lightly and drummed her fingernails along the side of her empty glass.

"Well, if it looks like a crocodile and bites like a crocodile, then normally I'd be dealing with a crocodile. But this time around, it doesn't seem like that's the case"

Her mind was working just a little slower than usual so Bella didn't pick up the direction of the analogy as quickly as she usually would, but she still got there in the end.

"Are you calling me a crocodile?"

Leah raised herself to her pointed feet and basically danced her way out of the room, grabbing the empty blender jug on her way, while shouting out over her shoulder.

"Actually, I was calling your twin a crocodile, but in this case I'm not sure yet if that makes any difference"

Bella was relieved that Leah wasn't in the room to see how her body shivered in repulsion at being compared so intimately to Alice. It took the entire time the blender was whirring in the kitchen to get her temper under control and even then she set her glass down firmly, knowing if she drank anymore her emotions were running too high to keep controlled. If she wanted to retain any semblance of the working relationship she'd built up with Leah over the past five years, then the next thirty minutes were going to test every skill she'd acquired.

Unfortunately though, she managed only two.

"So, what did your sister do to make you move across the country to avoid her?"

Leah wasn't even in the room yet, but already she knew the battle was lost. The edge was far too close and she'd just been shoved in the back and sent tumbling down into the abyss. Images that she'd never allowed herself to replay in entirety flashed through her mind and without thinking anything further than the words she needed to emit, she spoke.

"It's none of your business what she did"

Her hand didn't clasp over her mouth in surprise, instead her body reacted in opposition to how she was feeling. Bella felt herself relax deep into the cushions, betraying the revelation her words had offered.

Leah was far too astute to miss anything in her reaction and as she held back her knowing smile, she refilled Bella's glass, not caring that the two different cocktails pooled to make a slightly dingy orange color. Bella didn't really seem to care either as she admitted defeat and saw she was simply no match for the wiles of the woman in front of her, or the drinks she used as her weapons.

"I know you want to tell me Bella. I know what it's like to keep something bottled up for so long, pretending everything is okay, when all you want to do is explode all over the place"

The words didn't fit for her, Bella didn't want to explode, she didn't feel like anything had been bottled up. If she had the choice she would quite happily shove the cork back down on the words currently bubbling on the tip of her tongue. But Leah was right about one thing. She did want to tell her. She wanted someone to push her forward with her plan, to tell her that Alice deserved every last slice of pain she was hopefully walking closer and closer towards. And lastly, she really needed some help to execute her poorly laid plans.

Her mouth opened once, and then closed again. The action repeated itself twice before Leah was laughing, and she was joining in.

"I guess the short story is that Alice fucked my boyfriend. The long story is that she and Rosalie fucked my boyfriend and filmed it. Rosalie was polite enough to email me a video of the event the next day"

The only reaction from Leah was her eyes as they narrowed, looking over Bella's face for any sign of deceit. Bella was fairly sure she would see nothing but defeat, but felt slightly violated by the act none the less.

"Wow. Well… that's. Wow. I mean, she's your sister"

Bella allowed herself a small smile as she soaked up Leah's lacking eloquence. It wasn't very often the girl could be found without a word or two in her mouth, but right now she had none. The glass in her hand emptied as she threw it down her throat and only once she'd filled it once again and turned back to Bella, did she seem capable of speech.

"No fucking way am I letting that bitch marry Jasper. I knew I smelt fucking trouble when I heard she was Rosalie Hale's best friend, but Paul swore to me that Jasper was head over heels, so I let it go. But no way. Not gonna happen"

Her head was shaking violently and Bella was beginning to feel a little wary at the beast she'd unleashed with her words. She wasn't sure if she should vocalize her intended plan, but the choice was taken from her when Leah spoke next.

"Bella, please tell me you aren't just going to let this go?"

It was the invitation she'd been looking for. Not only did Leah have inside knowledge on Jasper, she had power and what seemed like an ethereal power over men. Bella realized quite succinctly, that she needed Leah's help if she was ever going to pull this off.

"I'm going to seduce Jasper"

The words came out in a whisper and for a moment, as Leah stilled, she thought perhaps she'd been wrong in her conclusions. But a smile began to form on Leah's glossy lips, and as the cogs turned in her head, the smile grew to a beaming grin.

"Perfect"

The word found a stronghold in Bella's mind, her body leaned forward conspiratorially as Leah still grinned at her from across the couch.

"I think I need your help"

Leah swung into action and Bella found it hard to keep up. Leah called out for pads of paper and markers and without warning Bella was sitting still as Leah began to march back and forward with a market pen in her mouth.

Her head was feeling a little dizzy and through necessity she rested her head back against the soft leather cushions of the couch. Listening to the rhythmic sounds of Leah's steps she was almost lulled into a soft abyss when she was interrupted.

"I need to know what you had in mind"

She tried to rouse her mind from it's semi competent state, but it was mostly unsuccessful. She recanted at least five of the seven steps she's memorized from the internet but that was about it before she felt her shoulders being shaken.

"Bella, drink this….so what happened last night"

Shaking her body, Bella threw back the cold drink and grimaced at the potency of the alcohol as it shuffled down her throat. She told Leah all about Paul's invitation and how she'd felt like the dance with Jasper had meant something, how he'd held her close and she'd danced like she never knew she could. But even as the words came forth she knew they were weak without her own mind to bolster them. The progress she had seen in his simple actions could be construed as a simple polite reaction without much manipulation.

Bella rubbed her tired hands across her eyes and reached across and downed her refilled drink. She knew she was drunk, so far gone infact that it scared her. She hadn't touched liquor in any depth in six years and now she knew why. The spiraling thoughts were sending her spinning and the most worrying revelation in her mind was knowing that she didn't regret divulging to Leah her deepest darkest plans for Alice and her future.

"Jesus Bella. Are you even alive in there?"

In truth she wasn't sure if she was or not, but she felt like her whole being had been encapsulated in some weird bubble. She thought she had only finished speaking a few moments ago, but as Leah peered at her with an amused smirk on her, it didn't seem like that was the case.

"Don't know. Comfy."

Leah tried once again to pull her back to consciousness but Bella was already gone. Laying her plans aside, she tugged her barely mobile accomplice through to her bedroom, leaving her alone to sleep off her liquor.

Leah meanwhile sat on the couch and thought about what Bella had said. Maybe this was finally the key to opening up the puzzle that was her editor. From her very first appointment with Bella, Leah had been somewhat in awe of her. Here was a woman who had a drive, a completely insular focus on her career that left no time for pleasantries or wasted opportunities. Bella wasn't the type of associate who remembered Embry's birthday, or her favorite wine, but those things paled in comparison to her dedication. Each book tour was meticulously organized to consider the fact she had a son at home, and she knew if she requested it Bella would meet her at the gym at three in the morning on a Saturday.

But tonight, for the first time in five years she'd seen her shoulders drop from their usual rigid position, her mouth relax and it had all happened after she'd let loose with the wisdom that her sister who'd she'd apparently been running from for six years wasn't the saint who Jasper had pictured in his mind.

Pulling out her cell phone she dialed Paul. The time didn't bother her, not did the wait as his phone rang over and over. But she knew it was a waiting game, he would always answer for her.

"Lee. Is everything okay? Is it Emb?"

The thoughts of her son unconsciously flitted through her mind as he spoke the words, but she pulled herself back to focus.

"He's fine, with Sam and Emily. Hey, I need you to tell me what you know about Jasper's Alice?"

She could hear the rustles of Paul moving around wherever he was and she took the opportunity to refill her drink. Not everyone was a liquor lightweight like Bella, but she needed to remember that for the future.

"Sorry, I had company…."

Leah smirked knowing just the type of company he had, but stayed silent until he continued.

"Why're you asking Lee? Alice, well you've met her, she's…."

This was the reaction she'd honestly expected. The few times Paul had mentioned Jasper's fiancée he'd been evasive and distant which typically meant he loathed her, but was unwilling to bitch out a girl that could potentially hold some strings around the jugular of his best friend for the impending future.

"Paul. No bullshit"

He sighed quite loudly and Leah heard him swallowing something which she decided in her own mind was brandy.

"Fine, but not a word to Jasper. She showed up out of nowhere when he was going though all that shit with his dad, and I don't know she seems nice enough….. But she gives me the creeps"

Leah remained silent, knowing there would be more to come, but Paul was one of those fragile creatures that needed to believe they came to the decision to spill their juices by themselves.

"…I tried to talk to him about her, but it's a no fly zone. He's never been like that before, not about a girl anyway. He goes to these events that I know he hates and spends all his time doing what she wants to do, and it's not even like they get on most of the time"

The words circulated in her head and she padded them out with her own assumptions as she licked the sugar from the rim of her glass. She decided to throw him a question out of left field.

"What do you think of Bella?"

There was no obvious reaction which she felt was a positive thing and she listened to see if his tone or words gave anything away.

"Don't get me wrong, I think those girls are crazy beautiful and damn Lee, they're twins! But Bella, man I don't know…she's different"

He had stopped talking and didn't seem overly inclined to talk again. So instead of waiting for a revelation that wouldn't suit her plans, she spoke.

"What would you say, if I said that I think Bella and Jasper would be good for one another?"

The words were out of her mouth and the only thing he had offered in response was silence. The line between them lay still and silent as they each contemplated the words that had been throw into the atmosphere. Leah wasn't above a diabolical plan or two, but now that she'd spoken the words, she liked the way they sounded. Jasper had always been the strong and silent type, leading people from the background without them even realized his influence and Bella was lost, there was just no other word for it.

"I would think he's gonna kill us when he figures out we threw the house on the wicked witch"

The words infiltrated her thoughts, but she jumped up and down like a teenager knowing she had an accomplice.

"Seriously?"

Paul wasn't sure if this was one of those two am conversations that would be avoided and ignored the next morning, but knowing Leah, he knew different. So he truly thought about his words.

"I don't know what you're planning Lee but I know that Jasper with Alice just isn't right. No matter what he tries to spin, she doesn't make him happy. Gotta say Lee, shitty timing on your part considering I just took a liking to one half of the equation. But I think you're right, she might be good for J and you know I'm not gonna stand in the way of that"

The relief that washed over her was palpable. Leah smiled to herself, Bella hadn't even an inkling of what it meant when she had drunkenly entrusted her with this knowledge. They might share the desire to bring down Alice and Rosalie, but Leah gave a damn about what happened to the boy that would be cast aside. Knowing that her little plot for revenge might just bring one of her oldest friends happiness drove her plans on into the night.

* * *

**a/n: Sorry this took so long to get out. Everything has finally calmed down now, so the next chap will be out this weekend. **

**Thanks you again to all of you who take the time to read and review my stories. **

**Next chapter will include some Rosalie and Edward, along with some yummy Jasper of course, so I can't wait to get that out for you!**


	10. Impropriety

"Rise and shine sleepyhead, we've got places to be and people to see"

Bella recognized the voice, but she couldn't decide what it was doing in her apartment. Thinking it must be one of those left-over dream fragments, she curled her body up into a snug little ball and willed herself back to sleep.

Leah didn't initially persist, instead she sat back on the bed and waited for Bella's consciousness to kick in. Unfortunately, she hadn't bargained on her Editor's ability to lull herself back to sleep and so she reverted to the tactics she used when Embry was being his usual slovenly self.

"I'm going to count to three and then these blankets are coming off, and Bella I think I need to warn you, I don't think you're wearing much under there"

Instead of simply reaching down to check her state of dress, Bella leapt from the bed clutching the covers to her as she dashed into her en suite bathroom. The only thing she left behind was a cackling Leah, who couldn't believe how fast the girl had managed to move.

Time was short though and as much as she would like to linger over the moment, if she didn't get to work, they were going to be late. Bella's wardrobe looked like a catalogue for Business Weekly and if she had to push aside another skirt suit, no matter how luxurious the fibers felt, she was going to start a little bonfire and burn the whole damned lot. Finally she found a little corner that was dedicated to a small selection of casual clothes. It took about twenty seconds to scan the whole lot and come to the conclusion that the girl obviously didn't get out much, before pulling out a complete outfit and then went in search of shoes.

Bella wasn't naked, in fact she was more thoroughly dressed than she's been waking up in a long time, that was probably due to the fact that she was still wearing last nights clothes, or a rumpled revision of them. She tested out all of her faculties and with only a little sleepiness and a slight headache to report, she was pleased with the results.

Wrapping her newly washed hair in a towel, Bella emerged back out into the land of the living, feeling both refreshed and nervous. As the water had cascaded down her body, the conversations she'd shared with Leah the previous night had wandered through her thought stream.

Taking tentative steps, she was hoping against hope that her apartment had been vacated and the only thing she would have to face would be the solitary sound of silence, the kind that regularly echoed pleasantly in her ears.

"Clothes are on your bed, coffee won't be a minute, but we need to hurry up or we're going to be late"

Leah's voice shocked her and her eyes trailed unconsciously to the casual outfit of jeans, a white wife beater and not much else on her bed. Bella silently thanked whatever gods were involved in this morning transactions that Leah hadn't felt the need to scavenge through her underwear drawer, then proceeded to redress when Leah walked back out into the kitchen.

Wanting to push the boundaries that she sensed Bella had erected this morning, she welcomed herself back into her bedroom with silent steps. Bella seemed too busy to notice her presence, as Leah lounged back on a chaise lounge that had been tucked up against an overflowing bookshelf.

"So, where're we going in such a hurry?"

Bella was still not certain about making eye contact with the intrusion, but she was trying her best to feign being at ease in this situation. Leah didn't say a word though and as she finally laid down the hairdryer that had been blasting her hair into a fluffy oblivion, she whirled around to look her guest full on.

Happy with the acknowledgement of her presence, Leah answered the question.

"I may, or may not have answered your phone this morning and may, or may not have accepted an invitation to meet your sister for brunch"

Bella flew back around and kept her expression poised, knowing Leah could see everything she was projecting through the mirror in front of her. Normally she liked to spend a few days working herself up to an Alice event, but she was being thrown in feet first and not once had they discussed her revelations from the previous evening, which she was beginning to hope had been forgotten under some hazy drunken fog.

Her hair was thrown back into a ridiculously messy bun and a few sweeps of makeup were applied, but her heart was simply not in it. If Leah wanted to make any amends, she didn't and as they were about ready to walk through the front door, Leah pushed a pair of oversized sunglasses at her, which Bella was more than happy to hide behind, before grabbing her long black cashmere cardigan.

"So, we need to work on step one of PB and J"

Her head twisted around from watching the world go by out of the cab window, to taking in Leah's thoughtful expression. Bella was trying to work out the cryptic anagram, but after coming up with Peter, Bella and Jasper she was lost.

"Okay, give it to me"

Leah smirked, obviously impressed with herself for flummoxing her newfound friend. "It's what I lovingly like to call the Plot to Breakup Alice and Jasper, but obviously PBAJ doesn't work and who can't resist a little peanut butter and jelly?"

Despite herself Bella laughed. "You're making it sound like a delicious snack, rather than an attempt to ruin Alice's sisters life"

She cringed at her words, knowing that out in the stratosphere with nothing to preclude their malice, she sounded more like the wicked witch than the slighted sister.

"That's the point. If we need to talk about it when there are prying ears about, there's nothing more innocuous than a little sandwich. Anyway, like I said step one, and don't give me any of that internet bullshit you were throwing around last night. I don't think you're gonna get Jasper to decide you're worth sacrificing his relationship just because you let him help you with a little DIY…."Bella felt her cheeks get a little warm. She might have remembered spilling her guts about enticing Jasper away from the dark side, but she couldn't remember telling her that foolish steps she'd found online.

"…So, first things first, why does Jasper think you and evil Bella have been at war?"

Trying desperately to drudge up anything that had hinted to his prior knowledge of their estrangement, she came up blank. So, without words, she merely shook her head.

"Jesus Bella, she could be walking around town telling him you set fire to her puppy for all you know. Rule number one is know your enemy, and if you ask me you've got some serious catching up to do. So how about I work on figuring out what she's told him and then you can make sure he knows what really happened. Next thing, Jasper is low-key, I'm taking no public scenes, no stress. He's an easy going guy, but he's loyal to a fault, so you need to step carefully, no bashing Alice in an obvious way, it'll just turn him off"

Even with her head reeling slightly, Bella was mentally taking it all down.

"Okay we're here, but before we go in I need to know one thing from you…."

Bella gritted her hands together to stop them from fidgeting under Leah's appraisal, whatever this was, she meant business.

"Jasper is one of my oldest friends, he stood by me when very few people did and this is your last chance to walk away B. If we're doing this, we're doing it the whole way, and I need a promise from you that you will never tell anyone about what we're about to do, NO-ONE"

The hard intention of the words soaked down into her, and Bella knew without a doubt that there was no turning back, so with her hand out waiting for Leah's, she spoke assuredly. "Let's do this"

The words were a promise and as the two stepped out into the chilly sunswept street, a pact was silently sworn between them.

Leah announced their arrival to the waiting staff and a girl, no older than seventeen looked at them with open envy in her eyes as she led them to a half filled table for six.

Air kisses and underwhelming hugs were thrown around and with a few unmeaning pleasantries spinning through the air, each took a seat. Bella glanced at the two open spaces but didn't say a word, instead she opted to soak in Alice and Jasper sitting side by side, as Leah filled them in on a very censored edition of their drunken night. Alice was sweeping her gaze back and forth to Bella, but Jasper was nothing but languid smiles, held principally for Leah. She wondered if she would have known what this meant without the knowledge of his history with her, because everything about him was so subtle it was barely detectable.

Pulling her eyes away lest she seem too conspicuous, Bella drew herself into the conversation to ask how Alice's week had been. Many words had passed between them since their reacquaintance, but each had passed though Bella's thought processes with deliberate intent. Now she merely listened to hear, because if Leah was right, as she suspected was the case, she was going to have to get a whole lot closer to Alice to tear apart her precious little existence.

"And how are your plans for that little boutique coming?"

It wasn't Alice was answered though, she'd been so caught up in finally paying attention when her sister spoke, that she hadn't noticed the incoming couple.

"Oh, it's coming along great isn't it Alice. Isabella, Leah, how lovely to see you both, it's been quite a while"

The silence that settled over her body was haunting and without words her eyes raised to be greeted with a vision of external perfection. It wasn't just that Rosalie was beautiful, but hanging from the arm of an older, sexier Edward Cullen, she was exquisite.

"Bella Swan, I can't believe it! Alice said you were bound to run into you eventually, but wow. Come here!"

Throwing on her professionally stoic smile, she rose from her seat with lead weights attached to her shoulders.

"Edward, it's been so long. Do you live in Chicago?"

Her words were muffled as he dismissed her distanced kisses to pull her to his chest. Obviously one half of this awkward equation was truly pleased to see the other. It was nice to be around him, to finally see him again and know that the Edward Cullen of her youth didn't exist anymore. He wasn't this man standing here before her, but it still angered her that Rosalie was the one clinging from his arm and not any other female in the history of the species.

Bella stepped back to watch the others, admiring the way Leah showed not a hint of the venom hidden behind her openly friendly eyes. Bella took note never to get on the wrong side of Leah.

"Jazz man, it's been too long. I've got a poker game set up with some of the boys next week, I'm counting you in"

Even if Edward couldn't see it, Bella thought she saw a hint of distaste flash in Jasper's eyes before he moved back away slightly from Rosalie and Edwards encroaching forms.

"Sorry Ed, no can do. I'm out of town all next week"

A few perfunctory 'you work too much' statements were thrown back and forth and finally Bella sat again, glancing over the menu, even though she'd been to this restaurant a few times and already knew what she would be having.

When Alice and Rosalie ordered some lettuce leaves with carrot on the side, or something that sounded like it, Bella was secretly pleased she had a rule that allowed her to order whatever she desired when she out dining. After the previous night, nothing but grease was going to do, so without waiting for the looks of derision which she knew would come her way, she ordered a loaded breakfast and grinned at her accomplice when Leah did the same.

"Oh my God Bella, how in the hell are you going to eat all that. I knew it! No wonder I can't eat anything fun without getting huge, you got all the skinny genes"

Without thinking Bella was about to roll her eyes, but obviously predicting her reaction, Leah pinched her arm hard and Bella caught herself just in time. So just for effect she threw on an understanding grin.

"I wish Ali, I'll just have to work it off later, that's all"

She could see Alice about to open her mouth, probably to say something derogatory about her balance or athletic prowess, so she simply cut her off.

"You were about to tell me all about your boutique, so tell me, should we be keeping one of our Saturdays free for the grand opening?"

Bella turned to include Leah with her statement and almost laughed at her raised eyebrow. Perhaps she had taken the enthusiasm too far, but now that she had been given direction, she was going to lure Alice in the only way she knew how; through her arrogant naiveté.

"Well, now that Rosie has a reason to retire, we've decided to open it together. I'm can't tell you how excited I am"

Bella's eyes flicked to Rosalie who was coddling a sparkling water, batting around the pieces of lime with her straw, even though it was obvious she was doing so for her audience's appraisal as she flicked her long blonde hair away from her perfectly sculpted face.

"Ali, you practically told everyone our news"

Alice gasped, her hand flying to her mouth dramatically and one to look to Leah told Bella that neither girl had a clue as to what was going on. But she didn't say anything, so Bella came to the conclusion that whatever was not being said was intensely private, after all Rosalie had never been one to shy away from the limelight and thus decided she was determined to find out.

Not missing a beat her eyes fell on Edward and she reached out to touch his arm gently, drawing a glare from Rosalie that lit up her insides with delight.

"Edward, it's been so long, what're you up to these days?"

He seemed more than pleased to have the attention fall on himself as he began to talk animatedly.

"Well, I moved out here a few years back. It was where I grew up so it seemed the logical choice, and about six months ago I set up my own practice"

He passed across a card and Bella took one look and discretely dropped it on the table between herself and Leah. It wasn't that she had any strong feelings against plastic surgery, but it didn't fit with the Edward of her mind, which in and of itself, was a blessing. He didn't ask about her career, or her general wellbeing and that was the last straw as far as Bella was concerned. The Edward Cullen of her memories was officially dead. At least, she thought, it drew a nice little line under that chapter.

As plates of food descended, Bella rued her choice for not picking something more delicate. While Alice and Rosalie chewed softly onto their plates of nothingness, Bella had to work through the minefield of grease. Just as she was about to put the slightest amount in her mouth, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Discretely she pulled it out, hoping it was one of her authors causing a much needed distraction, but instead she smiled broadly at the message on her screen.

_Leah: Stop eating like a shrew, J doesn't want to watch you act like an anorexic rabbit, he has evil Bella for that! _

Pulling a few more items onto her fork, she closed her eyes as her taste buds savored the first taste of indulgence. Even if she was extremely strict about her diet at home, she enjoyed food too much to ever deny herself fully. Barely holding back a moan of delight, she caught Rosalie's look of disgust as she pulled another pile of eggs and bacon to her mouth.

She didn't dare look at Jasper once while she ate, but finally when her body had taken all it could, she sat back pushing the plate away from her, only to have Leah swipe a left over piece of toast.

"You don't mind do you B?"

If they had managed to hold in their jealous stares as she indulged in a delicious breakfast, they could manage nothing of the sort at Leah's obvious display of intimacy. Bella understood enough about social hierarchy to see that Marcus's business and financial finesse made Leah a sought after commodity to those Ladies who lunched, but it was shocking to see the envy shimmering in their eyes so blatantly.

Leah wasn't phased in the slightest, she was used to the looks she received, from all out envy to hostile derision. It was rare she didn't get some look or another when people found out who her husband was, or learned of their twenty year age difference.

"So Rosalie, what's up with the retirement?"

She caught Bella looking at her with a little glint of shock in her eyes, but Leah just kept on smiling easily at Rosalie, as if she hadn't noticed the tension when the subject had initially arisen.

Rosalie stumbled across her words, producing nothing more than a few incomprehensible grunts. Both Leah and Bella were holding in smiles at their dining companions discomfort, until Edward stepped in and laid his hand gently down on his wife's arm.

"Rosalie and I are going to start a family"

Bella desperately wanted to roll her eyes, but instead she smiled ever so graciously at the man she once considered a true friend. In truth Edward hadn't done anything to her, he'd simply made his choices and they weren't her, but that also didn't mean she wanted to spend any time with him. Especially if his choice of spouse was anything to go by.

Rosalie was now wearing a simpering look which Bella couldn't understand, nor did she care to. If she was honest with herself, she was tired of this entire tirade, she didn't want to sit around anymore and pretend to be friends with these people, her skin itched just to stand up and walk away, but she didn't. Instead she sat there watching as her sister obsequiously gushed over a girl who walked around with devil blood in her veins.

The only upside was Jasper, who didn't seem to have been included in the circle of trust. Bella watched as he sat back to take in everything going on around him and if he was pleased with this little announcement, he was hiding it well.

When the hubbub died down, Bella allowed herself a little sigh of relief, plates had been cleared away and all that was left to do was stand up and walk away.

"So Bella, do you ever talk to that boy you used to date, what was his name Jack wasn't it?"

Without the capability to think straight, Bella's eyes narrowed immediately, coy didn't suit Rosalie at all and she was two seconds away from saying so, when she felt Leah pinch her leg, hard.

Her eyes flickered across to Alice who was staring down at the table cloth avoiding everyone, Jasper however had finally awoken from his typically laid back pose. His shoulders were high and his eyes were darting around the faces surrounding him with interest. Instead of focusing on the anger that was currently crushing her, she processed just what words she could use.

"I'm sorry Rosalie, but I've never dated a Jack. If you mean Jacob, then no, I haven't spoken to him in about six years. How about you, did you and Alice keep in touch with him?"

Her smile was painted on and now that she had it together, if Rosalie thought she would be able to get an honest reaction from her, she had another thing coming. She wasn't the pathetic little girl she'd been all those years ago and as she steeled her shoulders for impact, she knew that Rosalie had made a fatal error in bringing up Jacob.

"Oh that's a shame. He was such an attentive boy"

The double meaning in her words might be lost on a few people at the table, but the only thing heard from Bella was laughter. Alice had now raised her eyes but the action didn't belie any newfound bravery as she shrunk down into Jasper's side, hiding away like a little shrew. The only one who seemed completely unaffected by this charade was Edward, who had sloped off pointing to his phone, as if his wife brought the bitch parade out for every meal and so the escalating tension didn't even registering as a blip on his radar.

Bella wanted to make some quip about how Rosalie would know all about how attentive her ex could be, but she felt like for the moment she had the upper hand and as her eyes trailed to Jasper she merely sighed.

"Well this was interesting, but Bella and I have plans this afternoon so we're going to head out now"

Leah threw out one of her charming smiles and stood to leave.

"Hey Jasper, will you walk us out?"

Although she felt like she was walking away from a perfect opportunity to show Rosalie for the heartless witch she was, Bella followed Leah out, bidding the group goodbye with all the bravado of someone who's world wasn't rattling beneath her. When they were a few steps away from the restaurant she could feel a prickly of anger behind her eyes and as she concentrated on rummaging through her bag, pretending to be looking for her phone, Jasper and Leah congregated behind her.

"Is there any point in me asking what that was all about?"

His question surprised her and without thinking she raised her head to see Jasper peering at her with something that looked like concern. She didn't need his awareness right now and couldn't get her thoughts together enough to figure out how to sway this situation in her favor. Once again she thanked her the stars that Leah was firmly on Team Bella.

"Oh you don't know?"

Leah's feigned innocence wasn't lost on anyone though and as Jasper breathed out something that sounded like 'forget it', Bella itched to do something, anything.

"Sorry Jasper, Rosalie and I have a history and I thought that perhaps we could draw a line under the situation, but obviously that isn't the case"

"Did you know this would happen?"

At first Bella thought the question had been directed at her, but then she saw Jasper's body turn to Leah.

"I don't know why you're looking at me like that Jasper. How would I know Rosalie couldn't keep her bitch side in control for a few lousy hours"

The curt edge to her tone made Bella stand up just a little straighter and just as she was expecting him to bite back, he ran his hand through his tousled hair and looked back at the restaurant for confirmation of something, before turning back around sharply. He glanced quickly over at Bella who was watching his movements in fascination, as he seemed to be assessing her for something.

"Listen Leah, you know how I feel about Rose, but she's Alice's friend, so if I have to deal with her mouth every once in a while, I will. But I would rather do it with all the details so I don't have to sit there like a complete fucking idiot while my fiancée practically cowers under the table. So, if there's something you need to say, I would rather hear it now rather than find out you knew something but kept it from me"

Bella didn't know if this was a good idea, standing here in the middle of the day discussing something that had essentially ruled her life for years, but she also remembered what Leah had said in the cab on the way here.

"Jasper, why do you think Alice and I haven't spoken in six years?"

His head whirled around to meet her deep brown eyes and he unconsciously took a step closer. Leah was practically reverberating in excitement as Bella finally grasped the initiative.

"She said that you saw something which was meant as a joke, but took it the wrong way and you refused to listen when she tried to explain"

The hatred that remained on an even keel in her gut erupted and almost consumed her. Of course she would play the victim, innocent little Alice who couldn't harm a fly, never mind fuck her boyfriend. It was the first time she wished she hadn't deleted that video, not for herself but to show this fool the truth about the girl he was planning to marry. The anger was so strong in her thoughts that she just stood there staring at him, her eyes locked with his.

"And are you happy with that explanation?"

He didn't seem to understand what she was saying, but neither did she want to play the victim. She needed Jasper to see her as someone desirable, not a crazy girl plotting revenge, but just as Leah had said, she needed to tread carefully when it came to someone he loved.

"Are you telling me there's something I need to know?"

But she didn't answer, instead she just shook her head.

"No Jasper, I don't think there is. Whatever happened between us is in the past and I would much rather it stayed that way. But Rosalie seems to have a way of showing up and ruining my life, so I can't predict what she'll tell you"

Jasper wasn't particularly pleased with her efforts to appease, but seeing the finality in her eyes, was willing to let it go. After all he didn't want any of this drama in his life, but it just kept showing up on his doorstep.

"Jasper, that actually leads us quite nicely into why I asked you out here. I'm having a party for Embry's birthday in two weeks, and obviously we both want you there. But only you"

If Jasper was surprised by her request he didn't show it. He just grinned cheekily and started back into the restaurant, only turning around at the last minute.

"You always did want me to yourself"

And with that he was gone, leaving Bella and Leah to pick up their thoughts and hop into a waiting cab.

"What a fucking bitch!"

Bella could finally smile about what happened as Leah proceeded to use a series of colorful words to describe Alice and Rosalie.

"….and did you see her dress, fucking skank whore"

The tirade seemed to be winding down and instead of thinking about how much she hated Rosalie, which she would assuredly do later when she was alone, Bella was replaying the last few minutes with Jasper. She was firmly behind her decision to keep the details of Alice's indiscretion to herself, but was also fairly sure it wouldn't take long to come out now that the seed had been planted. Alice hadn't helped herself with her reaction either.

Barely a word had passed between them and the cab had finally stopped outside her apartment.

"Two weeks on Sunday B, get ready because you are coming to Embry's party and Jasper will be there without your evil twin, which means if I don't see some serious progress between the two of you, I'll be disappointed"

Bella paused with one leg out the door.

"What makes you so sure he'll come alone?"

Leah just shrugged and threw her a smug little smile, before waving at her quite obviously.

"Bye Bella. I'll be in touch"

As she made her way inside, Bella knew it was going to be a long two weeks. Time alone with Jasper was just what she needed and after the morning's charade, she couldn't wait to finally break him down.

* * *

**a/n: Ahhh, I can't even tell you how I feel about this chapter because it makes me feel like screaming. I came to a revelation this week and it's sort of thrown me. I know you probably don't want to hear me rabbit on, but I have to tell you that I HATE BELLA. I read two things this week and I knew she was self involved and a pretty terrible example for young girls, but suddenly it just all hit home and it made writing this really, really hard. At one point I almost wanted to say screw it. But I'm trying to rationalize my Bella as not being the Meyer Bella, but maybe she's just as bad, anyway it's making my head hurt so I'm going now to get working on the next chapter, because damn it all, Bella needs to get her arse in gear and break that Whitlock down!**

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews! You guys make persevering through my newfound revelation worthwhile.  
**

**xxx  
**


	11. Illusive

At precisely 3:05pm a cab drew up outside a balloon covered opulent gate. A bronzed arm reached out to ring through to the house via the intercom, but before the button had even been pressed, the gates peeled open, and the cab began it's rumbling ascent up the mile long drive.

The entire front yard, which stretched the full mile back to the surrounding perimeter walls, was filled with bright colors. The tinkling sounds of the carnival sang out through the air, a mouthwatering scent of candy floss hit the back of her throat and Bella's bare legs announced her arrival as she withdrew herself from the idling vehicle.

The sun had made it's first appearance of the year over the past few days, and with little signs of abating, Bella had gone shopping. Her little black shorts and white dress shirt might not be winning any risk taking awards, but as Leah took in the length of Bella's legs and the sway of her hips as she strode confidently towards her, she knew Jasper wasn't going to know what hit him.

"Leah, thanks for inviting me."

Lifting up her sunglasses, Bella's eyes wandered around the carnival themed party and the extravagance nearly took her breath away. Not only was there a perfunctory bouncy castle, but actual rides, with actual children riding them and squealing with delight. Wherever Embry was, she was sure he was having a day to remember.

"Of course B, champagne?"

Without waiting for a response a glass was pushed into her one free hand and just as she'd meant to before being distracted, she presented Leah with a brightly colored package.

"For Embry, I've never bought anything for a eight year old boy before so I don't even know if he'll like it but…" Before she could say another word, Leah settled a hand down on her gesticulating arm, stopping it's wild movements.

"Relax Bella, he'll love it, I'm sure"

Bella wasn't sure though. She was so unsure, she'd spent hours wandering all over Chicago looking for something, anything, for a boy she'd never met, but probably had everything. After almost throwing up her arms admitting defeat and calling Seth for his sage advice, her eyes had landed on a remote control car and decided it would do. Now of course, she was just trying to convince herself it was the thought that counted, as she spied a little boy who looked exactly like Leah careening around on a golf cart next to a man who she now recognized as Sam, from Alice's barbeque.

Her eyes scanned over his body, wondering what it was about men that made them look so thoroughly in the other direction, but a sudden movement to her left brought her out of her thoughts.

"Bella, you look beautiful"

She hadn't thought seriously about Paul once since the night he'd taken her out, but as he stood before her, she thought what a shame that was. His eyes swept quite obviously over her body and without a second thought, she whipped out her hand and pushed his shoulder in jest.

"Ahem!"

He didn't look one bit ashamed as he lifted his eyes to hers and winked devilishly. As she threw her head back to laugh at his brazen arrogance, she noticed that their exchange was being watched by a pair of sapphire eyes. Thinking far too thoroughly about the action and its potential reception, she dipped her head just a little and looked up through her eyelashes. When she spoke very quietly, a soft smile let loose on his lips.

"Hi Jasper, it's nice to see you again"

Jasper was quiet for just a moment too long and as Leah surreptitiously watched the display her friend was putting on, she decided that maybe Jasper wouldn't take as much coaxing as she thought to kick Alice out the coop.

"C'mon Bella, Jasper and I are going to win some prizes for you."

Jasper and Paul both seemed thrilled at the idea of competition and as Bella was led away to the little carnival stalls, she didn't catch the look that passed between Paul and Leah.

"So Bella, what do you want?"

Standing looking at the displays of tacky prizes, her eyes finally landed on something that made her laugh (and think of Alice) and as the boys watched her every move, she pointed at a tiny crocodile with overtly large white teeth.

"I want that"

Paul didn't appear too impressed with her decision and instead of aiming for the ball containing the prize she'd chosen, he opted to aim for a huge panda.

When neither managed to make their hoop stick on anything, Bella could practically taste the testosterone in the air as they asked to go again. She knew it was more to do with beating each other than actually winning her a prize, but she stood there and cheered on none the less.

Paul was aggressive in his methods, throwing his hoops hard and fast, but Jasper operated at a slower pace, as he seemed to in every aspect of his life. He was obviously working through some sort of strategy, because with each throw he would slightly adjust his angle or pressure and it didn't surprise Bella in the slightest when he finally hooked his hoop around one of those elusive balls.

"We have a winner!"

Bella jumped up and down in mock delight and grinned stupidly when Jasper handed her not the crocodile she'd called for, but a tiny goldfish in his own little cubic habitat, complete with a handle.

"Well it's not a crocodile, but what're you gonna call him?"

The tiny orange fish swan back and forth merrily as they peered at him, and then finally she lifted her eyes and met Jasper's. "I'll call him Steve"

Paul even stopped throwing his hoops to look at her in confusion. "You're calling the fish Steve?"

Bella threw a smile over in his direction, before turning back to look Jasper in his eyes, barely holding back a giggle. "Yeah, Steve." She didn't have any experience in naming things and it was the first thing that came to mind, but now that it was out there, she liked it.

"Shouldn't you be calling it Jasper? After all he was the one who caught it for you."

Bella didn't bother to turn back to Paul, as he'd already resumed his desperately aggressive hoop throwing. Instead she looked from Jasper to the fish and wondered what he was thinking. She didn't care enough to ask, so she merely went back to looking at the fish and plotting out her next move. Pulling out her phone, she sent a quick text to Leah asking for help, before moving to stand beside Paul, who even with flailing arms felt like the safer option.

"Dude it's not gonna happen. How about we give the darts a shot?"

Jasper was already walking away and with one last throw, both Bella and Paul were trailing after his broad shoulders.

As they stood waiting for two spots to open up, Paul brought up the question that Bella was hoping to have answered.

"So what's up with Alice? Why's she not here?"

Jasper didn't seem to notice that she'd was yet to take a breath, but his eyes did stare off into the distance for a second, before traveling back to Paul.

"You know how Leah feels about her"

Paul snorted before clapping Jasper firmly on the back.

"I know exactly how Leah feels, didn't realize you did though"

They seemed to have forgotten all about her presence and at five foot three to their six something, it was really quite forgivable.

"She's never said anything directly, but the fact she told me this was a solo invite didn't make it too hard to figure out. Why, what do you know?"

If Paul had seen the little pit he was walking directly towards, it didn't seem to faze him. Nor did he seem bothered when he was knee deep in it.

"You'd have to ask her man, nothing you haven't heard already from me"

Bella mentally willed them to go on, to share some heinous story of Jasper's secret irritation over her sister's selfish nature; but nothing came. Two spots opened up and Bella rued the friendly competition that silenced their mouths. Just as she was trying to suppress a yawn her phone beeped, alerting her to a new message.

_Leah = Just be you. Not work Bella. Not angry Bella. Just you! I promise you'll have fun. X_

Reading the words over for the second time, she wondered if that would be enough. The thought sent a little shiver of apprehension through her, not through any fear of it failing, but in the sincere worry that she didn't know how to have fun anymore. That she wasn't capable.

Looking around Bella watched as the other party goers threw out smiles and laughter with ease, embraces and delicate touches without stuttering hands; and she envied every single one. She loved her career more than anything in the world, it was what lifted her body from slumber in the morning and settled her mind last thing at night. But sometimes, in the dead of night, when no one was watching, for a weak minute or two; it wasn't enough. As soon at the deceitful thought came to her, she banished it away and without a seconds pause she slid across to the two boys who were bantering back and forth as they threw dart after dart, missing rarely.

"Bella baby, come watch me kick J's ass"

Paul was so easy to be around and she didn't stop to think how it might look to Jasper would had seen them out on a pseudo date not too long ago. Even though she couldn't contribute much to their back and forth insults, she did find herself warming into the day.

"Would you baby-sit Steve for me. I'm going to get a refill, would either of you guys like one?"

They'd past a bar on their way over here and with a dry champagne glass in her hand, she decided to follow Leah guidance.

"Yeah, I'll make sure nothing happens to the little guy and a couple of beers thanks Bella"

Jasper caught her eye and smiled, lighting up his face before he whipped back around and threw another dark. The wait was short and when she finally managed to grab three beers, she carefully made her way back to the boys who were watching her walk over. Both silent.

"Here you are"

Proffering the beers to each in turn, Jasper eyed up her pint glass before nodding his approval, to which she replied with a bright smile of her own. They wandered around the stalls, stopping every now and then when the boys needed to top up their testosterone levels, or their beers. Bella was happily nursing her second pint when an elephant emerged from a tent with Leah sitting gracefully atop, Embry in her arms. The look of shock on her face was genuine and as everyone began to trail after the huge beast, Jasper had to nudge her out of her awe.

"Guess you've never been to one of Leah's parties before. Don't worry it doesn't get much crazier than elephants"

As Bella looked around, she noticed that not one single adult had even a hint of amazement on their face. There were a few small children hopping up and down, probably overdosing on sugar, but other than that it seemed everyone had received the elephant memo, everyone but her.

The backyard looked a little more like a traditional birthday party setting, with little picnic tables set up here and there, a huge barbeque sending a distinctively delicious fragrance through the air and various tables dotted around, brimming with party food.

Paul and Jasper instinctively moved to either side of Bella as the crowds of people began to descend and without a word they led her to one of the tables and walked back away with three plates between them. She took that as her signal to sit, wait and watch. They worked as a team, loading up plates with various food groups and not once did they turn back to seek her approval.

"We got you a little of everything, feel free to pass across anything you don't like." Paul grinned, and Bella remembered the way he'd audaciously stolen food straight from her plate. But nothing on the plate in front of her was to her distaste, she would probably have to run continuously for three days to work it off though. Shrugging her shoulders, she dug in.

While slowly lifting a stuffed mushroom to her lips, Bella ran through what she actually knew about Jasper and was dismayed by how little there was. So rather than sit here listening to him chat to Paul about some basketball player, she decided it was time to take the reins. "So Jasper, you obviously spend a lot of time traveling, what do you actually do?"

Putting down the rib that was making it's way to his mouth, Jasper replied, "I charter out private jets."

Bella didn't mean to be so patent as her eyes looked him up and down in wonder. After all she'd all but convinced herself he was a plumber, but that laid back attitude had fooled her.

"Why does everyone look at me like that when I tell them?" Jasper didn't appear hurt by her inconspicuous appraisal of him, if his light laughter was anything to go by.

"Because half the time you dress like a cowboy" Paul retorted with his mouth full of steak.

"What did you think I did?"

Bella was stuck as Jasper turned back to his rib. She didn't know whether it would be insulting to tell him the truth, but her mind was so fixed on the word _plumber_ that she couldn't think of anything else. So with frustration at her mental fail, she replied, "I figured maybe a plumber or something."

Paul snorted loudly and Bella tried to ignore him as he began to chuckle under his breath. "So, do you just own the company, or do you fly the planes too?"

"I fly too, that's how I got into it, but I only do it now when we're short a guy."

The questions that she wanted to ask were lining up in her mind, but she reminded herself that she wasn't trying to be his friend. She wanted to steer the conversation towards Alice, but didn't know how to do it without mentioning her outright. So, when Paul broke in to the awkward silence, she felt relieved.

"So Bella, what do you do other than work?"

The blanket of relief that she'd just been basking in slid away to reveal the horror that she didn't actually know how to answer this question without outright lying.

"Well, I don't get much time for a social life, but I like to read." It wasn't a lie, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd picked up a book with the pure and simple intention of enjoyment, so it wasn't exactly the truth either.

"And you've been in Chicago how long?" Paul was beginning to grate on her with his questions.

"About six years now, I moved out here from Arizona." Bella lifted her beer glass to her lips and dragged down the cool liquid, hoping this would be the end of his inquiry.

"How long did you live in Arizona?" If he could sense her discomfort, he showed no signs of it, and it wasn't like the question had never been asked before, she just didn't particularly want to answer it in front of Jasper.

"About four months, I got a job straight out of university but the Scottsdale office closed, so it was either severance or relocation and I picked the later." Another half truth and like always Bella hoped the topic would be left there. Thinking quickly before he could ask anything further, Bella threw out a question of her own, "So, you both went to school with Leah."Jasper had looked over at her in interest a few times while she'd been answering Paul's question and silently she willed him to take the lead and not let Paul do all the talking. It took a few seconds of looking intently at Jasper to realize Paul wasn't saying anything either and finally she had to throw her hands in the air, "What! It's not like I asked about anything personal."

In truth she felt a little angry that her question had been dodged, she'd answered Paul's questions even though she would rather have stayed silent, so it seemed only fair.

"Sorry Bella, it's not you, we're just a little protective of Leah. I can tell you all about us though." Jasper's eyes spoke with a heartfelt sincerity and she knew that he wasn't even close to trusting her yet. But instead of speaking of himself, Jasper told her a couple of stories about Paul, either involving his athletic prowess or epic failure when it came to girls. Bella was smiling and listening to every word, but behind her affected interest she feared he'd led the topic over to his friend, thinking she was interested in him. It wasn't exactly a far leap to take.

"Hey guys are you having fun? Bella can I borrow you for a moment, there's someone I'd like you to meet"

She hadn't noticed her approach, so Bella jolted a little in surprise to see Leah standing over the little picnic table they were occupying. Whisking her away into the crowds, as they wandered indoors Bella missed the warmth of the sun, shivering slightly from the aggressive air condition.

"Embry, this is Bella, do you remember I told you about her, she helps Mommy write her books"

The little boy that she'd seen sitting on top of the elephant earlier peered out from behind Leah, stretching out his arm as far a possible so he could stick to his Mom's side.

"Hi, Miss. Bella, thank you for my present, it's great." His little eyes lit up with excitement and Bella felt a little wash of joy through her body. He was so cute she thought, with all of Leah's beauty and a shy streak to boot, he was definitely going to be a handful when he grew up.

"It's very nice to meet you Mr. Embry." She shook his little hand and he grinned up at Leah, talking quietly as if Bella couldn't hear, "She called me Mr. Embry!"

Bella smiled broadly, but held back the her laughter incase he misunderstood it's intent.

"She sure did, now why don't you run along and beat your Daddy in that race he promised you"

Bella, along with Leah, watched him run away to tug on Sam's arm.

"He wasn't just saying it B, he loves it."

Turning to face Leah she didn't want to admit how good it felt just to get that one little thing right.

"So, how're my boys treating you? Any progress on that P, B & J?" Leah's eyes were glinting in delight and Bella recognized the look from a long ago time.

"Yeah good, but I think someone is stuck on the idea of Paul and I dating, it's not his fault of course, I should have thought that one out a little bit more. I think it's going to take me quite a while to earn his trust." Hearing the dejected tone fall from her own mouth, Bella tried to realign her composure.

"Don't worry about that, just give me a second." Leah pulled her phone from her pocket and typed something quickly before grinning up at Bella all too innocently, "Sorry about that, just something I needed to tell Marcus."

Bella shrugged her shoulders, not wanting anymore details to be thrown her way.

"Anyway let's get you back outside so you can keep those boys out of trouble for me."

Just as she was beginning to think she was going to spend the day trailing after people, they reached Jasper and Paul who were obviously looking around for someone, she just didn't expect it to be her.

"Come on Bella, we want to go back and win you a friend for Steve." Paul was already loping away when Leah's voice halted his progress. "Who the hell is Steve?"

Holding up the little goldfish for her to view, Paul threw a lopsided grin at Leah and without batting an eyelid, she was grinning back, seemingly appeased.

"I'm not sure I can handle two pets." Bella threw out, but she secretly liked the idea of a little living thing waiting at home for her and maybe one in the office too.

"Sure you can Bella, after all Otis is hoping you give in and decide you want to get him a little buddy to play with, so you need practice." An image flashed in her mind of Otis and Jasper in the park and it was so easy to add herself with a little fur-ball in tow that it sent a shiver of pure terror down her spine. Quickly pushing the thought aside, she reminded herself what she was doing here and it didn't involve happy little strolls in the park. If she succeeded in this, Jasper wasn't going to make it through unscathed.

"Well, how does he feel about fish?" Jasper just laughed at her words.

Bella ended up standing by that little booth again for a two hours. Their endurance levels were impressive, and after only thirty minutes she'd been propped on the attendants stool with a beer glass in her hand, smiles and laughter falling from her loosened lips with relative ease. She was now the proud owner of three goldfish; Steve, Jim and Barney. But the numbers put Jasper at two to one and that meant Paul was vying for a comeback.

"Guys I need a refill, anyone out?"

Looking down at her half empty glass, Bella shook her head. Jasper threw back the remnants of his and pushed it towards Paul. But instead of resuming his throws as she'd expected, he jumped over the little barrier and came to sit right next to her, close enough that with a little chill settling in the air, she could feel the warmth of his body.

"You're not like Alice are you?" _Finally_, a little voice screamed in her head.

Shaking her head again, she paused to think about her response. "We might look the same, but we've always been pretty different. Even when we were in junior school we were inseparable, but I think for different reasons." It was a long time since she'd spoken about her life with Alice before the animosity had taken root, so it was only half an effort to put the wistful look on her face.

"I can guess what it was for Alice, but how about you, what was your reason?"

It was too big of a bullet not to take a bite; "First I want to know what you think the reason was for Alice."

Jasper laughed lightly as he pushed his hand back through his hair. "Well if she's anything like she is now, then it was because she didn't want to be alone."

Bella nodded and was pleased he knew Alice so well, that could only mean her sister would be truly hurt when her world came tumbling down.

"You're right, or at least that's my theory. For me it was different. I think I liked hiding behind her. When Alice was around I didn't have to lead the way, I only had to follow."

He was looked at her with serious eyes and she was sure he was going to ask her why that wasn't the case anymore, when something in her periphery caught her eye.

Raising her head to take the scene in fully she noted Paul was leaning against the bar, but he wasn't alone. Attached to his lips was a very tall and slender blonde women. Jasper must have misread her expression, because without another word his arm was around her shoulder and he was pulling her into the warmth of his body.

Seeing the opportunity being presented to her, she nestled down into him, tucking her head low so she wouldn't have to feign an expression of sadness.

"I'm sorry Bella, he's just not really a one woman kind of guy if you know what I mean"

Bella nodded her head and mumbled something incoherent, preying it would be enough to keep his arms wrapped around her as she gripped him just a little tighter. She knew she couldn't keep this up for long and standing here for eternity letting him hold her wouldn't help her cause, so she pushed him away and steeled her eyes into something blank.

"Are you going to be okay?" The look on his face of absolute concern was nice, but completely unnecessary as she actually felt nothing more than a light relief.

"Yeah, I'll survive, but can you please not tell him I was upset. I really like Paul and even if it's only as friends I wouldn't want it to be weird between us." Jasper nodded along as if her words made any real sense, but she could already feel the night had twisted away from her. She didn't want the pitying looks Jasper was giving her, so she thought it best to go home, regroup and take time to consider what progress she may have made.

"Jasper, would you mind calling me a taxi. I think it might be time for me to go home."

Bella hated the idea of anyone seeing her as weak, but she also sensed that Jasper couldn't help coming to the aid of damsels in distress.

"Of course, how about I call Alice, she can drop you off and then take me home?"

Aghast at the suggestion of Alice being anywhere near her, she thought quickly. "Thanks Jasper, but I just kind of want to be alone."

Bella couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not to let Jasper think she was a little heartbroken over Paul, but the decision was made for her when she thought about Alice anywhere near her apartment. True, Jasper knew where she lived, but there was always that hint of a possibility that he hadn't shared the information.

Waiting for the taxi was a little painful. Every few minutes Jasper would look across at her with a guilty look in his eyes and this would lead to another round of her assuring him she would be okay. Finally with three goldfish cases in hand, the taxi pulled up and just at that moment Paul popped up with his arm wrapped around the blonde.

"Hey B, you leaving so soon?"

Jasper didn't give her a chance to answer though and without a word, he was nudging her down into the cab. Before closing the door he leaned in and offered her his last words.

"I'm sorry Bella. He doesn't know what he's missing."

A half smile playing upon her lips was her only response, but as the door shut with a loud thunk and the cab drove away, that little smile grew into the biggest grin she'd worn all day, and this time there was nothing contrived about it.

* * *

**a/n: Sorry guys this may go on a little... **

**Firstly I got a lot of questions about what made me hate Bella. The first thing was a blog I started reading, someone recommended it as pretty funny. Anyway, it's this guy Dan who's blogging the whole Twilight series and he's pretty disparaging about the whole thing, but worth your time if you have any issues with Ms. Meyer's writing. I asked the author of the other fic if I could mention her work here, but I didn't get a response so I'll respect that as a no. It's a shame, because even though I think what she wrote led me down a weird path, it was actually a really good fic. **

**Secondly, I have to put out there that when I read the Twilight books I can't say I liked Bella, the way she kept Jake on the hook seriously pissed me off, but I didn't HATE her. **

**Thirdly, I set up a Twitter account. PM me if you want details, it'll be focused on my fics, but it would be cool to hear thoughts and feedback. **

**Fourthly (sorry, I know this is getting long!), I'm not getting any story traffic updates, so I have no idea if anyone is reading other than reviews, so I hope there are some folks still out there. Thanks a million to my reviewers, you guys helped me get this out way earlier than I expected. Next chapter will be out on the weekend and it's going to be part one of two, and all I can say is things are about to get crazy. **

**Also just a quick query... when you guys read this, who do you see as Jasper? Is it the guy from the film, because for me it's Charlie Hunnam... just interested!**

**Til next time. xxx  
**


	12. Inflate

"…Leah, don't! Bella will go crazy if she thinks I'm not treating you professionally." Catching the trail end of Seth's words, Bella paused for just a moment in the open doorway. A clear wink in her direction indicated Leah was already attuned to her presence, but Seth remained oblivious.

"Come on Sethy, what's the worst that could happen?" Leah rested her arms down on his desk, drawing herself closer to his nervous form. Unsure whether she wanted to hear his response, Bella considered alerting her assistant to her presence, but she just wasn't fast enough.

"I could lose my job Lee, and you know how much I love working here." The pleading tone in his voice softened Leah's combative expression, while Bella herself was stunned. Although Seth had relaxed considerably into his role, she'd never thought for a second he actually enjoyed working for her. She was still thinking over what this meant, when she noticed two pairs of very similar eyes looking over in her direction. Internally shaking herself free of her wandering thoughts, Bella stepped forward with her business face on.

"Leah, how are you this morning?" Leah walked towards her and took her outstretched palm, leaving Seth behind to worry whether Bella had overheard his words with Leah.

"So, what do you have for me Leah? How's the writing going?" Bella was pleased when Leah allowed their meeting to remain entirely professional. Not a word was spoken about Alice, Jasper or any amalgamation of their parts. Feeling herself relax into her sanctuary, Bella reveled in world she considered home, until almost as soon as it had begun, the meeting drew to an end.

"So, I think we've got everything. How long do you think it will take to incorporate those changes?" With a new author she would be the one assigning deadlines, but when it came to Leah and her more established authors, the rules were merely guidelines.

"Let me just check my diary." Bella busied herself with checking her own calendar, while Leah flipped through pages filled with multicolored scrawls.

"Okay, it doesn't look too busy for the next month. So, unless my world falls apart I would say a tentative late July. Let's say the twenty eighth?" Bella nodded and made a note for Seth to arrange the appointment and another in her own online diary to check in with Leah ten days prior, just to see if they were running on time.

"Great, well as usual thanks for everything Bella and if all goes to plan I'll see you in a month." As she walked Leah out, Bella was still waiting for the moment her accomplice would turn around and wink obviously in her direction. But it never happened and Bella strode back to her office feeling a warm wash of pleasure to know that her day was working out just fine.

"Bella, Leah asked me to give you this after she'd left." Seth's outstretched hand was attached to a thick creamy envelope. She eyed it suspiciously for a moment, before feeling herself wrap around the silken paper threads.

"Thanks Seth. Can you hold my calls until this afternoon?" Not waiting for an answer, Bella sealed herself away in her office, twirling Leah's parting gift between her fingers.

Her silver letter opener swished effortlessly across the sealed lip of the envelope, revealing a single manila card within. The edges were embossed with intricate silver designs and the slanted script just begged to be traced with the finest touch.

_Miss. Isabella Swan_

_Your driver will arrive promptly at 7:30pm on July 4th__, 2009_

"_And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in a masquerade"_

Flipping over the card, Bella was flummoxed to find nothing else written on either the front or back. Tapping her fingers swiftly across the keyboard, she searched for anything that could be of use. But after finding nothing more than the origin of the quote, she sighed loudly and relented just like she'd always known she would.

"Bella, what a lovely surprise!" Bella didn't even know it was possible, but Leah even sounded smug down the phone line.

"Leah would you like to explain who and what this means. I assume it's an invite of sorts."

Leah was clearly doing two things at once, as Bella heard her distantly ask whether they had 'this is red' through the phone line . "Sorry about that B. Anyway, don't you know what this is?…." The question irritated Bella slightly, as she believed she'd already confessed to being clueless. "What you're holding in your hands just so happens to be social dynamite."

Still none the wiser, Bella began to trap her pen in frustration. "Have you seriously never heard of _The _masquerade ball?" Hearing the indignant tone in Leah's voice, Bella turned again to her online search for answers.

"If you're looking online B, you won't find anything more than wishful thinkers spreading malicious rumors. Look, the ball is a private party held every year on a different holiday. This year just so happens to be July forth and you just so happen to be invited. Now get a pen and write this down…"

Bella's hand glided across a clean sheet of note paper, noting all the while she was writing down an address.

"Okay, now make a note in your diary that you have an appointment at that address, tomorrow at 6pm. And don't try to tell me you're busy, because I already checked over your schedule with Seth."

The pen tapping resumed and Bella was hoping for just a little more information on where this was all heading. "So, what exactly will I be doing there tomorrow night?"

The laughter peeling down the phone was so stereotypically Leah, Bella couldn't help but smile through her frustration. "Well, for one you'll be measured for your costume, if you'd like we can go for dinner afterwards, but I won't have much time."

She considered the offer for just a minute. The week had flown by with barely a thought to her sister and the plot to procure her demise, something she was currently reveling in. "Thanks, but I think I'll pass on dinner." Seeing the clock on her desk click nearer to twelve, she knew that her time was up in regards to this issue. "Leah I have to go, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Feeling like she'd just lost a little control over her own existence, Bella snatched up the things she needed for her next appointment and headed for the elevators.

"Seth, I've got my cell. I'll be back at three. Is there anything urgent before I leave?" Tapping her cell against the marble surrounding his private reception area, Seth thumbed frantically through several pieces of paper and she felt her calm resolve return.

"Oh, here it is. Kate from head office called. She's scheduled a meeting with you and Peter for July 20th. I left a list of the reports she wants you to bring in your calendar."

Seeing Seth was done talking, Bella strode out of the office and down to the cars waiting below, thinking all the while about what a meeting with Kate could mean.

The following day and a half passed all too quickly for Bella and before she had time to catch a breath, her cab was pulling to a stop. The dingy little back alley was deserted and desolate, making Bella think twice before opening herself up to the cool evening air. Double checking with the cab driver that he hadn't misheard her, she finally opened the door, brushing out some non-existent creases from her skirt as the cab pulled away.

Turning around on the spot, her eyes squinted in search of the elusive number, 293. Seeing nothing but bare walls and back entrances to various establishments, she began to walk up and down the street. Finally her eyes landed on those three elusive numbers, almost camouflaged against a small black plaque. Whatever this place was, she thought, it certainly wasn't drawing in the crowds.

Now that she was upon them, she could see the double doors were lying slightly agape. So with a little hesitation she pushed against the cold hard steel. As she stepped into the darkness, Bella felt even more uneasy to find only a wide stairway leading to a dimly lit room. Reminding herself that this goose chase was being led by Leah, she threw her nerves aside and strode purposefully down the steps. As her feet descended, the room opened up to show Leah standing on a small wooden stool surrounded by mirrors, wearing nothing but her underwear.

"Bella! I thought you'd never make it. Come and meet Irina." A woman with frail skin and long grey hair turned unsteadily to meet her wide eyed gaze. Bella outstretched her hand politely as she stepped forward, but was shocked when the woman only looked her up and down and turned back to Leah.

"Your friend, she wearing too many clothes." A sharp Russian accent filled the room, and Bella shivered with the thought of undressing down here in the backstreets of god knows where.

"Bella, why don't you go behind that screen and undress, I'll be done in a sec." Bella's head flipped around to look at the screen Leah had indicated, but her feet remained firmly set on the floor.

Seeing her uncertainty, Leah laughed lightly. "Seriously B, Irina won't bite and if you're going to stand out, you'll need a little of her magic."

Even though she wasn't sure about anything she was doing, Bella stepped behind the screen and as each item of clothing was folded neatly on the little wooden chair, she felt more and more uneasy.

"Are you ready B?"

Bella looked down at the dirty mirror behind her; her face was a mask of indifference, hiding the fear she was feeling inside. The underwear she'd worn that day was lacy and black, but the sheerness of the fabric made her feel even more exposed as she turned the corner and took the podium Leah had recently vacated.

Leah didn't seem at all fazed at all by her state of undress as she all walked slowly over to a nearby stool and began to redress.

"So, why exactly am I doing this again?" Bella asked as Irina moved her body this way and that, pinching her with long pointed fingers.

"Seriously B, what were you planning on wearing to the ball?" Bella shrugged her shoulders at Leah's question, but the movement caused the little woman in front of her to tut loudly, so she made a mental note not to do it again.

"I hadn't thought about it, I was probably going to…" But before the words could come out, Leah was already interrupting her.

"Well, right there was your first mistake. It might be alright to not think about what you're wearing when it's casual Friday at the office. But this is the biggest party of the year B, and don't even think about telling me you were about to make mistake number two and just rent something?"

Remembering not to shrug, Bella just cringed, realizing that was exactly what she had planned.

"Seriously B, only the Alice and Rosalie's of this world go to a rental place for this type of event. Just you wait and see."

Bella's eyes flicked unconsciously to Leah, who was now zipping up her knee high boots. "Alice will be there?"

"Jesus Bella, of course she will. She's engaged to a Whitlock which guarantees her an invite and if you think she'd pass up this opportunity, then you have no idea who or what you're dealing with."

Bella's thoughts were locked on what it meant for Alice to be marrying a Whitlock. She wasn't sure how naïve of her it was that Jasper's family name meant absolutely nothing to her. But the important question was, how much did it mean to Alice?

"Do you think she's with him because of his family?" Bella's eyes locked with Leah's, who was suddenly standing just a little more rigidly in place.

"I really don't know B, but Paul has his doubts about her motivations and I have to admit, after what you've told me about the little skank, add that to her friendship with Rosalie and it isn't too far a stretch, is it?"

The words sunk low under Bella's skin and as the Russian's hand ghosted over her body, she lost herself in wondering about the inner workings of her sisters mind.

"Okay, we done. When you want them ready Mrs. Leah?"

Bella all but ran back behind the partition, throwing her clothes back on in a disheveled hurry. She didn't catch the tail end of their conversation, but when Bella finally emerged, it was to see Leah handing over what looked like two sketches to Irina. Intrigued, she stepped a little closer, but she was just a beat too late. Leah took her arm in hers and before she had a chance to ask any of the questions running through her head, she was being whisked upstairs, where a sleek black car was idling just outside the door.

"C'mon, let me give you a lift home."

Without protest, Bella allowed herself to be pushed down inside the car. Conversation within the vehicle was sparse and as the streets and buildings flashed by, Bella tried to process the last half and hour of her life. But that little dingy room now only felt like a vivid dream.

"So, what sort of thing am I wearing?" Hearing Bella's question, Leah was holding a glint in her eye.

"Do you really want to know?"

Thinking about it, she wasn't sure if she did. "Maybe not, but is there a theme, or is it anything goes?"

Leah smirked and talked so effortlessly, that it put a lot of Bella's doubts at ease. "It depends. Of course it's a masked ball, but beyond that anything goes. You'll see everything from bikini's to ball gowns, but it's really all for show. If you like people watching, you'll love it!"

Listening to Leah recount costumes worn from prior years, Bella watched the night whistle by, until finally the streets weren't so unfamiliar.

"Your costume will be hand delivered to you on the fourth. Oh, and a word of warning Bella. You better not even think about putting on a single pound. Irina's good but she's also extremely precise and we don't have time for readjustments."

Bella nodded as the car slowed down outside her building. She was already worrying how she was going to maintain the same weight for over two weeks, if she didn't even know what that weight was.

The very next day she sent Seth out on a shopping errand, and thereafter for nearly three weeks, she weighed herself at the exact same time, every single day. Seeing the numbers fluctuate so minimally gave her something she could control, something to distract herself as time passed by with a slovenly drawl.

Waking up on the morning of the fourth, Bella felt a flutter of anticipation as she rose from her bed. With a brunch appointment set with a potential author, the day had a certain amount of potential attached to it.

Showering and dressing quickly, she donned her usual business attire before stepping out onto the Chicago sidewalks. The little restaurant Seth had booked was only a few blocks from her apartment, so for once she decided to enjoy a little light sunshine.

Arriving early, she procured a little outside table and proceeded to check through any new emails while sipping on a sugary black coffee.

"Are you Bella Swan?" Raising her eyes from her tapping fingers, Bella's gaze swept over a tiny girl, no more than five feet tall, with wispy light blonde hair.

"Yes I am, and you must be Jane?" Smiling nervously, the girl took the seat next to her and proceeded to fidget with her menu.

It took a while to gain her confidence and set her at ease, but once Jane began to feel relaxed, the words began to flow. She was meticulously organized, just like Bella, so when their visions for Jane's book aligned, Bella could just tell it was going to be a wonderful day.

"Morning Bella. Package came for you while you were out. They almost wouldn't let me sign for it. But you know me Bella, anything for you!"

She'd walked back to her apartment with a spring in her step, after arranging a follow up appointment with Jane to sign contracts. But when Eric had halted her in her steps, that little twinge of nerves she'd felt this morning was back.

She managed to laugh along and thank him for his kind efforts on her behalf, but the entire time her eyes were drifting to a large box, sitting so innocently on the shelf behind him. Her fingers twitched with anticipation and as he finally passed the plain white box towards her, she felt strangely pleased with it's weight. Realizing he was watching her closely, Bella threw up her hand in a little wave and turned on the spot, before disappearing from the lobby.

Her apartment door clicked shut behind her and as she carefully laid down the box on her coffee table, she forced her body through to her bedroom to change clothes before she would allow herself a peek. Never before had she dressed so quickly and after throwing on some sweats and wife-beater that had lost it's elasticity, she all but ran back into the living room.

Sitting cross legged on the couch, she pulled the box onto her lap, her fingers tracing the unassuming white cardboard skin. Lifting the lid gently, she felt the resistance it offered and doubled her efforts. Finally, with a little swoosh of air, it was free and as Bella laid the lid to one side, her eyes strained to see beneath the translucent black crepe paper.

Hearing her phone ringing distantly in the other room, she waited patiently for the silence to resume. When it did, her fingertips tenderly lifted the black crepe to find white layers of silk, organza and lace laid within. Anticipation led to confusion as Bella lifted the pieces of her costume from the box, placing them lovingly on the table before her. She didn't understand if this was purely a coincidence, or if somehow, someway, Leah had known.

Brushing her eyes across the delicate fabrics, she knew that even though the majority of her would be exposed, when she allowed them to drape her body, she would feel beautiful.

Running from the living room to the bedroom, she searched through her pockets for her cell phone. Unlocking the screen, she smiled to note it was Leah's call she had missed and as she hit redial, was only forced to listen to two rings before a familiar voice was calling her name.

"Bella, do you love it?" Even though it wasn't her usual way, she couldn't help but gush down the phone about her costume.

"But how did you know?"

Leah simply laughed though, "What? That every girl wants to grow up to be a ballerina? I didn't. I just happened to go to the ballet with Marcus a few months ago and when I thought about you attending the ball, I knew it would be perfect. Why, does it mean something to you?"

The simple coincidence seemed too much for Bella, but it didn't really matter what had brought her here.

"Alice and I used to be obsessed with Swan Lake. Our Mom, Renee, she took us to see it when we must have been tiny and I think it was the only thing all three of us ever wholeheartedly agreed on."

Thinking about those times brought the beautiful costume even closer to perfection in her mind. With Alice forever being in charge, Bella had always been forced to play the part of Prince Siegfried, but tonight, she would be taking the lead.

"Well, then I'm even more proud of myself. I considered going in the slutty direction, but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make you look like Alice. So it seems like I made the right choice. Anyway, I have my make-up and hair people arriving in a few hours, so how about you get your ass over here, pack a bag for tonight so you can stay over and join me in a few pre party drinks?"

Bella had been planning on doing her own hair and make-up, but Leah's offer was simply too good to pass up. Ending the call she swept through her apartment, throwing in everything could possibly need in a brown leather overnight bag; the one she had borrowed from Charlie a decade ago.

As she made her way out to the sidewalk, Bella didn't care about the looks that were being thrown her way. She didn't care that her hair was a mess, nor that the cardigan she had thrown over her sweats didn't match in the slightest. All that mattered was the plain white box being grasped possessively between her two hands.

"Can I get you a cab Bella?" Even Eric looked a little taken aback at the mess she was presenting to the world, but when she threw him a beaming smile, he all out stuttered.

"Thanks Eric that would be great." Perhaps he'd never seen her in such a good mood, she thought, as he took just a second too long to start walking her to the curb.

All thoughts of the outside world swept away as she finally made her way north, up through the streets of Chicago. A few times during the cab ride, she'd lifted the lid on the box just a few inches, her eyes trailing over the delicate outline of diamonds, creating heavy glittering feathers on the weightless fabric. She couldn't imagine how it was going to look on her body and suddenly a wave of panic swept over her as she remembered Leah's words about Irina creating this for each and every contour of her body. There would be nowhere to hide, no length of fabric, no ruffle expertly positioned, nothing to keep the entire party from essentially visualizing her naked.

Just as she was beginning to slow her beating heart, they pulled up to the gates of Leah's home.

"Please can you ring through to the house and tell them Bella Swan is here."

It took a few minutes for the gates to peel open and as they made the now familiar trek up Leah's drive, Bella's excitement grew with the sight of each passing tree.

"Miss. Bella!" Bella turned around to look in the direction of the shouting voice, to find Embry throwing a ball back and forth with a man she'd never seen before. She lifted one of her hands to wave at him and as she trailed away into the house a smile drifted to her lips as his little voice reached her ears, telling his friend how she'd called him Mr. Embry on his birthday.

"Miss. Swan. Please follow me." The last time Bella had been here the house had been so full of people, she hadn't had a chance to appreciate the terrifying size of the place. As they finally began to slow down after making several left and right turns, Bella was absolutely certain she would never be able to find her own way out again.

"Bella. Oh my god, you took forever. Here, have you eaten?" Leah was sitting on a cozy looking black leather couch, her laptop tucked neatly into her lap, a table full of food laid out behind her.

"Marcus thought he would be back with some friends from golf, but they got caught up on the course. So feel free to dig in." Waving her hand back over in the direction of the food, Bella couldn't help herself. She'd been too nervous to have anything more than coffee during her morning meeting. But now, with the glorious smells assaulting her senses she felt her stomach growl out its demands.

After filling a plate with all manner of things, she slid in next to Leah, happily enjoying their shared silence as she obeyed her body's desires.

"So, when do I get to know what you're wearing?" Watching Leah while placing another delicious bite of chicken in her mouth, Bella knew from the glint in her eye it wouldn't be anytime soon.

"Now where would the fun be in that! After all it is a masquerade ball, half the point is not knowing who you're talking to."

Thinking of the invitation she'd received, Bella felt a little tingle of panic. "Leah, my invitation said a car would pick me up, but now I'm here. Does that matter?"

Leah didn't brush aside the question as she normally would, instead she pushed aside the laptop and pulled out her cell phone. A quick phone call was made where Leah informed whoever was on the other line of Bella would no longer be needing her car and with a bright smile, the world was back on kilter again.

"I think we might need to settle those nerves a bit don't you?" Bella couldn't help but say yes, after all she'd been an emotional whirlwind all morning. If the day continued on this way, she would be having all out panic attacks by evening.

Following Leah down a corridor or two to the kitchen, she happily accepted a glass of freshly poured champagne.

"Let's go sit in my office, I have a little PB & J news to go over with you."

Taking the first sip of bubbles, Bella concentrated on her breathing, hoping that whatever Leah had planned didn't require her full mental capacity.

"Okay, so it's taken a couple of phone calls and I'm not going to share any details. But I found out some interesting things about the new Mrs. Cullen. If everything goes my way, Jasper is going to be left alone tonight and damn it Bella, if you don't make some serious headway in that beautiful costume of yours, I think we might be in serious trouble. Now I want you to tell me how things went during Embry's party."

Leah's words left Bella with a lot to think about, but pushing aside that thought for a second, she recounted every moment she could remember from a few weeks prior. Hearing the words, she still felt a little lasting achievement. Not only had the threat of Paul being extinguished, but for the first time, she'd felt like Jasper was looking at her without any pre conceived judgments.

"Okay, that's actually brilliant. I didn't think Jasper would ever take Paul's flirtation with you seriously, but you never know with those guys. They've been friends for so long, you don't know what moral guidelines they have going on. Do you think you can continue where you left off?"

Thinking about her last moments with him, Bella wasn't sure. After all he'd been comforting her over something which was an absolute fallacy. It would be hard to recreate that kind of situation or intimacy.

"I don't think we'll have to go back to square one, but I think that's the best I can offer. Do we even know what they're wearing?"

Leah took a sip of her champagne and then tapped her fingernails against the glass. "Hmm, no. That's a good thought, we don't want to waste time trying to figure it out either. Okay, I'll call Jasper."

The words and the flirtation came easily to Leah and Bella hoped spending the day in her presence would help some of that confidence rub off on her.

"Okay, don't laugh. But this is the only way she could get him to go. Jasper is wearing an old Pilot's uniform and Alice is going as an Air Stewardess. Which I can only imagine she's bought from Sluts'r'us!"

Bella laughed loudly at Leah's bitchiness, reveling in having an accomplice in her evil plans.

"Leah. Laurent and Elizabeth are setting up in your sitting room." Leah clapped her hands enthusiastically, before turning around to face the voice in the doorway. "Thanks Sue, oh and would you mind taking this and hanging everything up in my dressing room. It's Bella costume for this evening, so if it needs steaming can you see to it?"

Bella felt like ripping the box back out of Leah's hand and pulling it to her chest, but instead she took another sip of her champagne and berated herself for her own foolishness.

"Come on Bella, I'll introduce you to the gods who are going to make you look like the most beautiful ballerina in the Northern Hemisphere."

Once again, Bella was simply left on her heels as Leah swept through the house to an huge open room on the second floor. A large television took up one wall, but other than a few white couches, the room was mostly bare.

A number of people flitted in and out of the room with tables and chairs, boxes and mirrors. Sitting on one of the couches, Bella was amazed that in a little under ten minutes, the room had essentially been transformed into a salon.

"So ladies, what can we do for you today?"

Leah had taken the seat next to her and while filling two more glasses with champagne, she stopped to give herself and Bella a top up.

"I have a couple of sketches for Bella. She's going as Odette from Swan Lake. Why don't you take a look and see what you think."

Bella tried to pear over the sheets of paper, but her eyes weren't fast enough to catch anything concrete.

"I think I get the idea. How about I get started on your hair Miss. Bella and then Elizabeth can work with you?" He winked over at Leah and as Laurent took her confidently by the hand, she felt herself calm slightly.

"Relax hun, I promise you. You're not even gonna recognize yourself when we're done."

It took three hours, most of which Bella spent happily lounging in a chair speculating on Leah's costume. But nothing other than her soft, romantic makeup and long wavy hair extensions reaching the base of her spine, told her anything. Leah laughed quite loudly at some of her guesses, but each time had shaken her head with glee at remaining undefeated.

"All done ladies. And may I say that you are going to be the Belles of this Ball. No pun intended." Laurent winked in Bella's direction and after three glasses of champagne, the smile came easily to her face.

"Alright, time to get something quick to eat and then it's dress up time"

At Leah's words, Bella looked over at the clock and was shocked to see it read seven o clock. Leah had told her earlier that their driver would arrive at eight thirty. Apparently to stack the arrivals, the first revelers would already be showing up as they spoke.

"Leah, Bella. You both look beautiful." As Marcus swept into the room Bella couldn't help but smile softly under his attention. With a significant age difference between them, he often felt like a kind uncle to her.

"I don't even want to think of all the bachelors who will be hunting for my blood when they see I have not only one, but two escorts for the evening." Leah protested loudly when Marcus drew near to steal a kiss, but she couldn't hide the smile that lit up her eyes to have her husband so near.

"Bella, Leah has refused point blank to tell me what you're wearing. You wouldn't put an old man out of his misery would you?" Bella shook her head in his direction, being careful not to loosen the lovely side bun Laurent had spent a long time perfecting. "Sorry Marcus, but I get the feeling Leah would kill me."

The few bites that Bella could push past the bubble of exhilaration in her throat settled uncomfortably in her stomach. It didn't matter though because as she followed Leah back through to her dressing room, the only thing she wanted right now was to see herself in the mirror, dressed as the Swan Queen.

Standing in front of her costume laid out like perfection, Bella could finally appreciate the extravagant detail of each piece.

The soft white tights that she rolled up her slim calves had a slight shimmer to them, catching the light and the contours of her legs as she twisted and turned.

The leotard which scooped daringly low at the back, had hidden supports in the front and though Bella didn't have a huge amount of cleavage, what was there was lifted to create a wonderful illusion. Fragile spaghetti straps held the fabric up and as the smooth white silk traveled down her torso, so the diamonds began. Tiny illusions of feathers shimmering in the light, increasing with every inch.

The tutu which consisted of the traditional lengths of organza, had an intricately sewn silver lace layer on top. As her eyes trailed up her body in the mirror, Bella's mouth dropped open in delight. Not one avian feather adorned the costume, only those made of diamonds and lace.

"Sue, could you tie up Bella's ballet slippers please?"

Watching as Sue wrapped the white silk up her calves, Bella had wondered if wearing flats would make her feel less sexy. But as Sue smiled brightly in her direction, nothing could be further from the truth. Each step she took was more graceful. A swing that had never really existed, settled into her hips and as she looked at the girl in the mirror she couldn't recognize herself. Bella was speechless.

"You look beautiful." She'd seen Leah approach over her shoulder, but Bella was still shocked by the whispered words in her ear.

Turning to see Leah in her floor length gown, Bella still couldn't figure out who she was meant to be. Something which Leah clearly saw written on her face.

"Don't worry, it's not meant to be obvious. I'm Guinevere and Marcus is going as Lancelot. I thought it apt for this evening." Her eyes twinkled in delight and Bella couldn't help but join in the contagious action.

"Come on, now for the piece de resistance, Laurent needs to fit our masks."

Bella had forgotten all about that and as her eyes swept over her lean glittering form one more time, she wondered what could possibly work with this outfit.

"Sit ladies, well, if you can." Hearing his light laughter, Bella realized it was in fact directed at her. She might not have any difficulty with a couch, but the high chair she'd sat in earlier for her hair and make-up was going to be impossible.

Leah's baroque style beaded mask was the same color as her blood red, middle ages inspired gown. And although it hid her exotic eyes, it did nothing to diminish Leah's beauty.

"Alright Miss Swan. Come stand here." Nervously she padded across to Laurent.

"Close your eyes." She followed his command and shut out the world, listening to the ruffles of Leah's dress as she went in search of Marcus. She felt some soft tugging on her hair and then the softest weight of fabric being laid against her cheeks.

"Alright, take a look."

Bella expected to see something of a similar nature to Leah's, but instead her eyes widened in delight. A thin piece of contoured silver lace had been laid across her cheeks, no more than two inches thick. Her delicate skin was a soft hue against the light color and her dark eyes stood out prominently.

"You look beautiful hun. I hope whoever he is realized what he's got."

But she didn't have a chance to retort. A black cape was laid over her shoulders and without a word, Bella was being led down to the town car sitting patiently in the drive. As she settled down into the cool leather seat, Bella wasn't sure how the night was going to unfold. She just knew nothing was standing in her path tonight.

* * *

**a/n: Wow, I'm so sorry this wasn't with you last weekend but I had a friend in need and they took precedence I'm afraid. **

**Anyway this chapter was actually meant to include the ball, but the words just kept coming and coming. If I tell you that I had to cut 3k words just to get this, you might understand. Anyway this Saturday I will be posting the actual ball and I hope this tides you over until then. **

**Thanks for all the reviews for chapter eleven, every single one made me so unbelievably happy.  
**


	13. Invisible

Cars slithered up the winding hill like a deadly snake in the night, a venomous fury erupting with each disembarked vehicle. The half an hour journey was now coming to an end and Bella's slipper clad feet tapped out a nervous rhythm against the floor mat, as she watched the revelers depart from the car ahead. This is it, she thought and as their car inched forward toward the torch lit path, an eruption of adrenaline stilled every muscle in her body.

The door opened and a white, glove clad hand reached into the darkness, leaving Bella alone as she watched both Leah and then Marcus exit the vehicle. Thinking for a moment she wouldn't be able to move, a surge of determined compulsion drove her forward. The hand grasping hers was firm and as her feet delicately hit the black carpet, the hand retreated and she was left to catch herself in the cool night.

"Ladies?" Marcus's outstretched palm beckoned her feet gracefully forward to his side and with her hand locked against his strong arm, they padded down the pathway lit with fiery torches.

Seeing the hilltop chateau ahead, Bella's eyes lit up with excitement. "Do they always hold the ball here?"

Seeing her excitement, Leah nudged her husband so he could enjoy Bella's naïve appreciation. "No, not in the last few years at least. Part of the allure of the whole thing is that no-one knows anything until a few weeks prior. It's one of the last truly exciting social engagements of the year."

Bella nodded along, but her thoughts were only half on the spoken words. This was one of those nights filled with great disappointment, she thought, a veritable New Years Eve without the clock breathing down your neck.

As they drew nearer, she could see how all the external doors of the building had been thrown open, spilling music and masked majestic's out into the darkness beyond. Treading up the ten steps that would erase all last associations of a bystander, Bella felt her whole body willing herself forward.

The main hall was filled with costumes, the people filling them fading into insignificance with the pursuit of working out each puzzle. Leah had been absolutely right, Bella thought, as her eyes flipped from one extravagantly dressed body to another. This was a voyeurs dream and she had found herself with one of the best seats in the house.

Two mermaids swept by and her fingers longed to reach out and touch their scaly skin, to see if it felt as lustrous as it looked. But before her hand could encroach on their space, Marcus pulled her in another direction.

A balcony overlooked the largest dance floor she had ever seen and every incantation of every imagined and conceived being in the universe was writhing beneath her. Two stewardesses' caught her eye and while watched them astutely, her pointed back toe tapped along with the rhythm of the beat emanating from the walls.

"Here. Follow me. Marcus and I have a table over here."

Thinking perhaps Leah might have scared some unsuspecting bunny from her seat, Bella's naiveté followed Guinevere's flowing locks through the crowds. She was unprepared for what she would find though. Out on the back lawn, she could see ten or so cabanas dotted along the perimeter.

Obviously even within an elite party, there were still mountains yet to climb.

A gentleman in a perfectly tailored black on black suit stood in the doorway, pulling the white fabric back to let them enter.

"Ms. Scott, Miss Swan."

Bella half expected him to lower his head, but he met her stare head on, his dark eyes sparkling through his black mask.

"Marcus doesn't exactly enjoy the party side of things, so if you get lost or just want to enjoy his company, no doubt he'll be here all night. Champagne?"

Three unfamiliar, similarly aged men surrounded Marcus and Bella couldn't help but smile, as each was wearing a costume no doubt enforced on them by a wife, or significant other.

Taking the glass of champagne Leah was offering her, Bella sat momentarily on a plush chair, wonder how an event of this magnitude had been occurring in her back yard, without even a hint of awareness on her part.

Leah laid a soft kiss of Marcus's temple and then she was back by Bella's side.

"Here. I forgot to give this to you at the house. Keep it with you, I put your cell phone in it and some other things, it's just in-case we get separated. I made Irina add a little loop so you could hang it from your tutu. Here."

The little white bag hooked effortlessly around the loop, just as Leah had predicted and before she had a chance to rustle through its limited contents, Leah was tucking it beneath her ruffles.

"Thanks. So, I think I might look around a little."

There was simply too much on offer to be hidden away in a tent on the outskirts of excitement. But it was only when she was halfway up the lawn, that Bella even realized Leah was by her side.

"How many people are invited to this thing?"

Leah didn't miss a beat as they passed from the luscious lawn onto the back veranda. "About five hundred, so it might take a while to spot Alice and Jasper."

Even though Bella knew they were her primary function for being here, and in all fairness her eyes should be peeled for a slutty stewardess, she couldn't help the endorphins she felt pulsing through her body just by being here. Throwing her head back to finish the last of her champagne, she smiled to see Leah doing the same, grateful that she could fully enjoy herself without chastisement.

Procuring two more glasses, Bella twirled around to hand one to Leah, as she followed the flow of people to the ballroom.

"Okay, I've seen enough Marie Antoinette's to bring down the French Revolution, but not one single pilot."

Leah ummed in agreement, but as she did, Bella spotted an atrocity over her shoulder. Pointing her finger, she watched as Leah turned slowly.

"Oh. My. God. It's worse than I thought."

Against her instincts, Bella couldn't help but admit to herself that yes, although Alice would be better suited to a Halloween frat party, there was something about her sixties style stewardess outfit that she managed to pull off. It was one of those times where she saw herself reflected and couldn't see an iota of herself therein.

Leah pushed forward through the crowds and Bella couldn't stop her feet from padding behind.

Alice was simply too busy standing on her tip toes, chatting to a Daisy Duke to notice their impending arrival. But it didn't take long for Daisy to jab a sharp elbow in her ribs, and suddenly Alice was all theirs.

"Oh my gosh Leah, you look divine, and you've brought…" Alice spoke and that moment, that single touchable moment when she went from gushing sycophant to jealous older sister, was etched into Bella's mind forever. Her eyes narrowed dangerously and Daisy had to nudge her once again before Alice managed a look of composure.

"Hi Alice… Rosalie." Leah said through clenched teeth and it was obvious there was no love lost between Rosalie and Leah, but Alice was practically gushing forward, laying obsequious compliments at Leah's feet. Bella thought this would signal their time to move on, but Leah it seemed had other plans.

"Girls, I know there has been some history between us all, but how about just for tonight we push it all aside and call a truce."

Bella was clenching her mouth shut, trusting that Leah's plan wasn't simply going to be a case of forgive and forget.

"What do you say? Shots?"

Bella internally cringed at the thought of throwing back acrid tasting alcohol, but she kept the best smile she could manage plastered to her face.

"Seriously, shots sound amazing." Alice was practically gushing as she jumped up and down in her white, sixties style, platform boots.

Leah once again led the way to the bar and as she ordered eight shots Bella hoped that maybe some sleight of hand might be involved. But when Leah called salut and she raised the first glass to her lips, Bella smelt nothing but the distinctive nothingness of vodka.

No one else seemed to even bat an eyelid as their drinks disappeared, no one but Bella. As she forced the second shot down her throat, she vowed to herself that it would be the last shot of vodka she would ever take. Her shot days were over.

"Another round?" Leah's eyes were glinting with delight, but whatever this plan was, it was failing for Bella.

"Sorry, but not for me. I don't want to even think about vodka, let alone drink it."

Even with Leah pouting, Bella kept shaking her head vehemently.

"How about something like a lemon drop, it tastes really good?" Bella didn't really want to enjoy anything which came as a recommendation from Alice. But it seemed she had little choice, as Leah bounced off to the bar once again, leaving them at their newly found table.

"So, where'd you get your costume Bella? I didn't think you'd have the guts to wear something so revealing." It was hard to decide if it was the way she'd looked her up and down followed by a sneer, or if it was the derisive tone of her voice. But Bella could clearly tell nothing Rosalie said was meant as a compliment.

"Isn't it beautiful! Leah's fairy godmother made it for me."

As Alice reached out her delicate hand to touch the lace of her tutu, Bella had to force herself not to slap it away.

"Alright girlies. I got a selection."

Leah placed two drinks in front of each person and then picked up her own. As each hand followed suit, she winked once at Bella. The sugary liquid poured down Bella's throat and she thought if Leah's plan was to simply get them all incredibly drunk, she was putting in a decent effort. Already feeling a surge of confidence, words she longed to say bubbled at the edge of her lips.

Rosalie slammed down her second glass and Bella watched as she raised her eyebrow, pointing her glare at Leah. Alice seemed entirely oblivious as she swayed to the music and Bella took the opportunity being offered to her. "So, Alice. Where's Jasper this evening?" Even if she was feigning a little ignorance, Alice didn't appear to notice.

"Oh, he's around somewhere. He saw some guys he knew on the way in, at least I think that's what he said."

Not knowing his location didn't seem to perturb her in the slightest.

"Oh, let's do some more shots!" Alice shouted and as she jumped up and down, her shorter than short dress rose up indecently with each little bounce.

"Did I hear someone ask for shots? Allow me ladies!"

All fours pairs of eyes turned as rather plump Batman raised himself up from an exaggerated bow. It looked as if both Leah and Rosalie were about to say something to the contrary, but they didn't have a chance, as his cape swished in the air, signaling his departure.

Bella sighed, wondering how many more shots her body could take before it decided to abandon her logical mind. She could already feel the edges slip from her vision and with a huge secret to keep, she wasn't sure she could handle anymore. Nudging Leah, she didn't need to offer any words for her accomplice to understand her predicament.

Leaning down, Leah whispered a few words in her ear. "Just follow my lead."

Trusting that Leah would have a plan, she returned her attention back to Rosalie and Alice, who were now locked in a heated discussion. "…are you fucking kidding me Ali, Batgirl is so much fucking cooler than Catwoman."

Bella rolled her eyes, but it didn't take much energy to remember that this was what it was like to be friends with Alice. Absurd conversation topics and spontaneity.

"…Whatever Rose, you know that's bullshit. Catwoman gets to fuck Batman, all Batgirl gets is Robin!" Of course it just so happened to be while Alice was loudly proclaiming this, her very own Batman returned.

Bella couldn't hear what he said, but as his lips whispered words in her sisters ear, she could see the obvious repulsion on Alice's face. She wasn't the only one who had seen it either. As soon as Rosalie had taken the four shots from the black leather clad intruder, she yanked him backwards away from her friend. "Thanks for the drinks. Now fuck off."

"Don't think so honey. I bought those for you pretty ladies, now I get to watch you drink them too."

Shocked, Bella watched as Rosalie sneered at the intruder and then one after another, threw each shot down her throat. Even Alice looked a little surprised by her actions.

It hurt her to think it, but in that moment Bella was a little impressed by Rosalie. She recognized against better judgment, it was pleasant not to be on the wrong side of her for once, but Bella wasn't fooled for a second into thinking it meant anything.

"I think Bella and I are going to take a walk. We'll see you girls later."

Leah looped her arm through Bella's and without another word, led her back into the crowd.

o

"Thank fuck for that. I didn't know Leah was into pity dates."

Rose tossed her curly blonde hair over her shoulder, leaning down into the table, pushing her barely clad ass out behind her.

"They work together Rose, you know that. I just can't believe Bella's dressed like that." Alice said, before gnawing on the straw from her forgotten Pina Colada.

"I know. You'd think if she was going to pull the stick out of her ass, she might have looked in the mirror first before leaving the house. I mean seriously, some people just can't pull off white." As the words left her mouth, Rosalie played with the edges of her white shirt, which was skin tight, tied to show expanses of her toned stomach and barely cover her breasts.

"I actually thought she looked really good." Although the words were barely above a whisper, Rosalie still heard them and tugged Alice's shoulders to align their eyes.

"Alice Swan, don't even for a fucking second think that I meant you wouldn't look like a million dollars in that outfit, because you would. You know she's always been fatter than you, and uglier too."

The words that normally worked to make Alice feel better about herself, did little. After all she wasn't the one walking around looking like a prima ballerina. Sighing, she knew this was all Jasper's fault, if only he'd been willing to wear the Henry VIII costume she'd made for him; she would have made the perfect Anne Boleyn. Instead she'd been forced to pull out last years Halloween efforts at the last minute, which might have been fine; but then Bella had shown up and ruined everything.

"You're right Rose. Let's just forget about her. I can't believe Leah is being so nice to us, I thought she hated you?" Alice moved back to take the last sip of her drink and eyed Rose cautiously.

"She does, which makes this whole thing completely weird. I don't trust them Al, I know you think you and Bella are working this whole shit out, but something about the way they're acting doesn't sit pretty with me." Rose finished speaking and then looked at Alice head on, but she could already tell her best friend wasn't going to hear any of it.

"Enough Rosie, we've been through this. I know you don't like Bella. But she's my sister and I want her back. So if she's a little weird with us for a while, then that's fine with me. I just surprised she's even talking to us."

Rose pounced before Alice could continue; "Exactly Ali. Why is she talking to you? Six years and all of sudden she's cool with everything. It doesn't make sense to me and even if you want to be all naïve about it, I've got my eyes open. Do you want another drink, I think I'm gonna get a champagne, this cocktail is making me feel funny?"

Alice lifted her empty Pina glass to indicate she needed a refill, then watched as Rose slithered back into the throngs of people towards the bar. It never failed to amuse her just how many men would lose their carefully constructed indifference when Rosie caught their eye.

Standing tall and blonde, Rose was the perfect antithesis of Alice's short and dark. And now with Edward and Jasper by their sides, they were the picture of beauty. For all intents and purposes, they looked like the perfect couples.

"Here, I think it might be a little stronger than the last one. The guy behind the bar said you should drink it slowly."

Alice heeded Rose's words and took a delicate sip. "Wow, you're not kidding about it being stronger. What did you do Rosie? Flash the poor bastard?"

But Rose just laughed, the glint in her eye suggesting she would have been on the receiving end of so much more than double shots if she had stripped off.

"Here comes Jasper." Rose nudged Alice and then rolled her eyes when her friend looked around with wide eyes. Although he might not yet be on Alice's radar, Rose could spot him from a mile away. After all he'd been the bane of her existence for the past ten years. She wasn't sure anymore who she despised more; but it was definitely a toss up between Jasper and Isabella. What irritated her the most was that Alice had to go and fall for the arrogant dick.

The sensation Rose was already feeling in her stomach erupted as Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice, all the while glaring in her direction. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone to see if Edward had left her a message, but when the little screen showed nothing but her screensaver, her irritation peaked.

o

"C'mon Bella, lets go see if Jasper's arrived." Leah tugged on her elbow and Bella smiled apologetically to the third incantation of Prince Charming she'd spoken to in the last two hours.

Sipping on the champagne she'd been nursing for the past hour, Bella wasn't surprised to see the table Rosalie and Alice had previously occupied was now empty. Knowing Leah wouldn't give up the search so easily, her eyes darted across several grotesque and amusing characters, until they met her desired target.

"There in the corner." Bella felt sure it was them, after all she didn't think a single other reveler would dare dress as a nearly six foot Daisy Duke.

Something was wrong though, and as they approached, Bella could see that Rosalie looked practically green, while Alice lovingly rubbed her back.

"Are you okay Rosalie?" Leah spoke softly and if this should have alerted Bella to something being amiss, it didn't. Instead she was simply awed to see Rosalie not offer her trademark glare or sneer.

"No, not really. I feel terrible." Rosalie's words sounded weak and this seemed to only spur Alice's soothing efforts on further.

Leah stepped forward and crouched down, putting her hand to Rosalie's flushed forehead. "Would you like me to call one of our cars? Felix will stop off anywhere you need to go, he'll take care of you."

Bella felt a little suspicious of Leah's actions, as Rosalie nodded weakly.

"I'll come with you." Alice spoke firmly and looked to Jasper, who nodded his head in agreement.

"No Ali, don't be crazy, you stay, have fun." Rosalie didn't necessarily sound too convincing though, so it was no surprise when Alice came back. "If you think I'm going to leave you like this, then you're the crazy one. How long will the car take Leah?"

Alice had taken charge and Bella remembered what it felt like to be under her decisiveness. It seemed she wasn't the only one who found her sister so compulsive, as Rosalie sat back, a look of tired defeat on her face.

"He'll be outside in a few minutes. If you leave now, he'll be waiting when you get there." Leah placed her phone back in the drawstring bag she'd been carting around all evening and looked remorsefully back over at Bella.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Jasper spoke with obvious relief. So Bella couldn't notice the look of disappointment on his face when Alice laid her hand on his arm and convinced him aggressively to stay.

As the decision was being made, Bella noticed the pilot's outfit Jasper was wearing looked authentic and she couldn't help a wry smile to see that he'd pushed the mask rule to it's limits, by wearing some aviator sunglasses. Regardless of his desire to leave, he didn't seem particularly upset by Rosalie and her ailment, leaving Bella to wonder how much love was truly lost between the two.

"Let me walk you to the car. Jasper you'll keep Bella company won't you." It was less of a question and more of a command, so Bella took the seat next to him without hesitation, as Leah led Rosalie and Alice away.

"So…." She knew it wasn't the best start in the word, but up close Bella was slightly more aware of the fact that Jasper wasn't just dressed in his usual ripped jeans and t-shirts.

"You look beautiful Bella. Is this Irina's work?" Bella saw the way he was looking at the fabric of her skin tight leotard and couldn't help it when her spine intrinsically straightened under his inspection.

"How did you know?" Her question seemed to be amusing to him, as he chuckled softly under his breath.

"Irina was my mother's favorite, she would always go to her for events like this. I expect it's how Leah knows about her."

Hearing the past tense in his words, Bella nodded her head a little solemnly. "She really does do exquisite work. If someone told me I would be wearing this, well, even a month ago, I think I would have told them they were crazy."

Sitting here next to him in the darkened corner, Bella felt some of the familiarity return to her. It was only when she thought about the future she had planned for him, that the words dried up on her lips.

"I need another drink, but I get the feeling if I leave you alone you might get accosted by those two pirates…do you want to come with me?" Bella looked to where his eyes were trained and laughed lightly. Two middle aged men were leering over in her direction, so without word, she lifted herself to her feet and gracefully curtsied. "It would be my honor."

Laughing, Jasper rose and took her hand, grasping it tightly as he wove them in and out of costumed masterpieces.

"What'll it be?"

Her eyes narrowed for just a moment, after all it would be the first drink she had chosen for herself all evening. She knew what her taste buds desired, but had no words for what it was.

"Well, Leah made me this cocktail and I couldn't tell you what was in it, but it was fruity…." She paused thinking how foolish she just might sound, but Jasper had already furrowed his eyebrows in concentration.

She couldn't hear his words when he spoke to the bartender, but a few minutes later she had something blue in her hands.

"What is it?"

Jasper threw back what looked like a neat scotch and then turned his head to answer her question. "It's called a blue Hawaiian."

Taking her first sip, Bella knew it wasn't what she was searching for. But it would do the trick.

"Is it right?" Jasper lifted his finger and the bartender returned to refill his drink. Waggling his finger, the amber liquid kept on flowing until the glass was nearly half full and Bella couldn't help but narrow her eyes in concern.

"Is everything okay?" She knew it wasn't her place to ask, but alcohol had loosened her carefully kept reserve.

Jasper's face was impossible to read and as she thought about what she'd asked, she took to sipping her drink in feigned indifference.

"I'm fine. This just isn't really my thing."

Bella smiled, mainly because up until Leah had stepped in to make her dreams come true, she wouldn't have said this was her thing either.

"Let me guess then…" Tapping her index finger dramatically against her chin, Bella paused. "I'm thinking close friends, laid back setting, maybe taking a boat out, a little fishing during the day and then when the night falls, sitting round and drinking some beers. Either that or a ball game… how close am I?"

She'd largely been joking. After all the only two instances of this type of man in her life were her father and Jake; neither of whom had she seen in six years.

The air between them filled with a strange tension, as Jasper's whole body seemed to still and without realizing she was doing so, Bella was holding tight to a whole lungful of air. Jasper seemed on the very verge of saying something, but the words were stolen before they had a chance to hit the air.

"Bella, Jasper, I've been looking everywhere for you! C'mon I got us a table upstairs."

It was the first time in the whole time of the PB & J era that Bella seriously felt like Leah was doing more harm than good, but Jasper seemed strangely relieved at her arrival.

"Great. Let's go."

Not waiting to see if she was following, both Leah and Jasper strode away, leaving Bella to march along quietly behind them. She wasn't surprised in the least when they bypassed the table they'd occupied earlier, or when they climbed the huge winding staircase. It was when they entered a room guarded by a behemoth man, that was when her breath was taken away.

With an entire glass wall looking over the dance floor beneath, Bella couldn't believe her eyes to see another entire wall filled with fluorescent jellyfish, bobbing and sinking in invisible currents. The only light in the entire room was offered by tiny tea-light candles dotted around, so it took a few moments for Bella's eyes to adjust.

When they did, she searched out Leah and Jasper, who were already sitting at a booth in the corner.

"Bout time missy, we thought maybe you'd abandoned us for one of those superheroes!" Bella laughed at Leah, as she sat down next to Jasper.

"Well, it was tempting." If she was honest Bella would admit it hadn't been tempting at all.

"And what the hell are you drinking?" Bella looked down at the blue liquid that was nearly all gone, but she couldn't for the life of her remember it's name, the only thing she could offer was a defensive explanation; "Jasper got it for me."

Her response quickly silenced Leah, who pulled out her phone and smiled at something on the screen. "Marcus is on his way, apparently he wants to dance with me."

Bella could see a few couples in the corner of the room dancing and while the mood down below seemed almost frantic, up in this darkened den the pace felt far more relaxed.

Marcus didn't only bring himself though, he brought three of his cohorts from earlier and their party spilled over effortlessly to the adjoining booth, leaving Bella and Jasper alone once again.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before a waiter appeared at their table.

"What are we drinking?"

Bella looked down at her glass and knew she couldn't take another. She listened as Jasper ordered another scotch and suddenly her time was up to make a decision.

"Umm, may I have a glass of champagne?" But before the waiter had a chance to step away, Leah had called out, "Make that three bottles!"

Bella shook her head in amusement and when the room wasn't as steady as it once had been, she knew the next drink would absolutely have to be her last.

It wasn't though and as Jasper threw back endless glasses of scotch, he goaded her into one more glass, and then another. Leah and Marcus also both seemed a little worse for wear and as the four of them sat around that little table, laughing at the costumes of those beneath them, Bella knew she was far too drunk.

"Dance with me darling!" Marcus stood and pulled a swaying Leah to his side, before leading her away once again.

"I don't know how they do it. I think I might throw up if someone spun me around right now." Jasper laughed a little too enthusiastically, as Bella tried to refill both of their glasses.

"So what now?"

Bella shook her head a little, in an attempt to clear her confusion. "What do you mean? What now?"

Jasper threw back the last of his champagne and stood, a little unsteadily she thought, before grabbing the nearly full bottle of champagne chilling in it's bucket. "Let's go outside."

Without needed another thought, Bella took his hand and waved to Leah, as Jasper led her back downstairs and out to the gardens.

"I think there's a maze somewhere around here."

Bella giggled as he led her along, passing across the champagne as they searched out the elusive maze. If there was one, they didn't find it and instead of losing themselves behind a wall of shrubbery, they lounged on a bench they'd practically tripped over along the way.

"So, you and Alice. What's the deal?"

Her mouth was open, the words poised to be spoken and then suddenly she remembered that this wasn't a friend she was confiding in. This was Jasper.

"Seriously Jasper, does it matter?"

He seemed quite pensive though and so she laughed, pushing the nearly empty bottle of champagne at him. "Don't think so hard about it. You can't change anything."

Lifting the bottle to his lips, Bella watched as the liquid disappeared down his throat.

"I know. But, I get the feeling she's lying to me and it seriously fucks me off. After everything we've been through, I didn't think she'd ever lie to me again."

Feeling like she was on the edge of an indescribable discovery, Bella leaned forward. But as the world spun on it's axis, she knew she was too drunk for this. Taking a few huge gulps of air, she felt Jaspe'rs warm hand on her bare neck.

"I think I need to go home."

Jasper seemed confused and lifted her chin carefully with his thumb and forefinger. Her eyes only met her own reflection in his glasses and she sighed in defeat.

"Stay at mine. Alice will be back by now and it's not far from here."

Normally she would have said no, normally the idea of Alice being anywhere within her perimeter made her skin boil. But his touch, his words, his offer. It was simply too much.

"Yes, let's go."

* * *

**a/n: Alright so we've been to the ball. Now here comes the aftermath.  
**

**The next update is going to be seriously hard to write, I already know. So I'm going to apologise in advance and tell you I don't expect to have it with you before next weekend.  
**

**I'm currently working on a basis of 27 chapters, so we've got a while to go yet folks, just an fyi.  
**

**Thanks again to all of you who read/review/alert and favourite this story. You send me little giddy chills of excitement every time I get a new email. If I could bottle that emotion and send it back to you all, I would!**

**Until next time. x  
**


	14. Infidelity

Bella giggled, as Jasper tried to align the key in his hand with the lock on the door. When the keys dropped out of his fingers once again, he threw up his hands in defeat.

"Fuck it! We'll just have to sleep out here."

Aghast, Bella looked down at her pearly white costume and then across to the dewy green grass. Gripping to his arm for support, she bent down rather unsteadily to retrieve the wayward keys. Squinting her eyes with concentration, she finally pushed the key into it's home.

"I knew you were a fucking genius." Jasper exalted and although she knew it's wasn't the greatest feat she'd ever accomplished, Bella felt strangely proud of herself none the less.

Stepping out of his way, Bella followed Jasper's broad shoulders into the dark, seemingly empty home. Leaning against the door she'd just closed, Bella clapped with delight when a black furry beast ran wildly around Jasper's ankles.

"Otis!" Hearing his name called enthusiastically from her lips, his little head whipped around. As he ran to sit obediently by her feet, his tongue rolled out, his whole body vibrated with the energy of his wagging tail. Falling to the floor in front of him, Bella began to stoke behind the back of his ears enthusiastically.

"Oh, I see how it is little dude. You've got a new friend now, huh? Well that's just perfect!" Bella had forgotten Jasper was even there, until his deep voice was filling the foyer. Looking at Otis, who was completely oblivious to his master's sarcasm, she laughed loudly as he responded by rolling over, beckoning her to stroke his belly.

"Alright that's enough, leave Bella alone Otis."

The command in Jasper's voice was clear and he didn't need telling twice, so with her hand in midair, Bella watched Otis lope back over to Jasper. Realizing she was now just sitting messily on the floor barely two feet inside the front door, Bella tried to scramble to her feet. But as her body swayed on unstable limbs, she felt sure she was going to fall.

A strong hand reached out to grip her waist, and with his support, Bella raised herself to full height, smiling gratefully in Jasper's eyes. She couldn't remember when he'd finally removed his reflective aviator sunglasses, but she did recognize how nice it was to finally look into his deep blue eyes.

"Let's go see if Ali's back yet." Nodding reluctantly, Bella floated behind as Jasper opened and closed several doors, loudly calling her sisters name. The only thing to respond though, was a giggling Bella. Once they'd circled back to the front door, Bella couldn't help the little sigh of relief that left her lips.

"Guess she's not back yet. You want a drink?" Jasper said, seemingly unperturbed to find the house empty.

Bella just shook her head, knowing she was way past her usual limit. She was barely capable of standing, another drink and she was fairly certain of being at serious risk of throwing up, or worse, revealing her whole sordid plot to Jasper.

"'Kay, let's get you to bed then. Here, this used to be my old room when I was growing up. There's a bathroom through there and clothes in the closet if you want something to sleep in."

Her eyes traversed the huge bedroom and noted that nothing about it spoke teenage boy at all. The furnishings were simple dark wood, while the bed was finished in gold. If this had been Jasper's room, he'd taken away every piece of himself when he left it behind.

"I'll be down the hall if you need anything." Jasper said pointing, before leaving her alone. With nothing but the sounds of her own heartbeat for company, Bella felt a little uneasy.

The closet was full of what she decided must be Jasper and Alice's winter clothes and while Bella had an endless supply of female items to chose from, her fingers rested on a soft blue plaid shirt she was sure belonged to Jasper. Pulling it from the hanger, she held the soft, worn fabric, against her body, smiling when it reached the middle of her thighs.

Peeling the white opulence from her skin, Bella laid each item of her costume reverentially on the bed, creating a body-less ballerina atop the duvet. Even without the curves and flesh of a human body to bring it's perfection life, she was still in awe of it's beauty.

Wrapping Jasper's soft cloth around her naked body, she padded barefoot through to the bathroom. Bella pulled out the pins holding her hair together, before throwing her hair-sprayed locks into a messy knot on top of her head. Peeling away the delicate lace mask, she smiled internally at the way the eyeliner around her eyes had smudged in such a way that made her wide eyes seem alluring and sexy even. She knew the right thing to do would be to wash away the final vestiges of the evening from her skin, but she didn't feel quite ready to do that yet. So instead, she simply walked away, flicking the light off behind her.

Crawling into bed, with the empty ballerina lying next to her, Bella closed her eyes.

But the world didn't fade away, it didn't soften at the edges and then ooze gently into a blissful oblivion. The world spun violently. Opening her eyes, she focused on the ceiling, willing the whirlpool in her stomach to subside. When it finally did, with a horrendous lurch, she took a few deep breaths before chancing closing her eyes once again.

The world didn't spin this time, but her mind did. Thought upon thought, forced it's way forward and after tossing and turning restlessly for what felt like hours, but could have been minutes, with a groan, Bella threw back the covers. The dark floorboards were cold beneath her feet and the sensation became even more pronounced, as wood gave way to tiles.

Heading in the opposite direction from where Jasper indicated he would be, she went in search of the kitchen. A low mumbling sound hit her ears and only became more exaggerated as she neared her destination. Turning the last corner, Bella realized the sound was a television, as lights flickered against the walls of a room they hadn't checked in their earlier search for Alice.

Standing in the darkened hallway, Bella's fingers began to tap rapidly against the wall next to her. She knew she should just go to the kitchen and get the glass of water she'd come for, but her curious feet had other ideas.

The room was dark, but from the flickering light of the television, Bella could see the dark ornate furniture, the walls lined with books and the huge overstuffed leather sofa, sitting right in the middle of the room.

Without thinking through her actions, Bella drifted forward, her fingers tracing the leather spines of the endless row of books.

At no point did she sense another presence, so when a soft human noise broke through the darkness, her heart stuttered. Leaving the books behind, she crept closer to the sound, only stopping when her body was positioned between the sofa and a large low coffee table, unseen from the doorway.

Turning just slightly, she saw a pile of discarded clothes. Turning even further, her eyes trailed upwards, already knowing what she would find.

A bare foot, followed by a pant clad leg and she could no longer hold in her surprise, as her eyes met the base of his naked torso. A hand flew to her mouth to prevent a gasp from escaping, but in her drunken state all her inhibitions had been cleared. Following her instincts, her eyes skimmed over the tight ripples of his muscular stomach, down to the soft trail of hair that drew her eyes down to the top of his open pants.

Forcing her eyes upwards, Bella smiled involuntarily to see Jasper so exposed. She couldn't remember ever watching someone else sleep before, so the pure innocence and vulnerability of the action surprised her.

Bella was sure he was sound asleep, so when his whole body twitched, she wasn't mentally capable of keeping her usual calm. She squeaked loudly and whipped around, cursing as her leg violently hit the sharp corner of the table, sending a remote control rattling to the floor.

Every single impulse in her body ceased. Her lungs stopped pulling in air, her heart stopped beating in her chest. Minutes passed, her ears focused so intently on any sound coming from behind her, that the television became a dull drone. Just as she was about to release the fingernails beginning to pierce the skin of her palms, she gasped loudly in shock. A foreign hand brushed against her the bare skin of her calf, once and then twice, before firmly gripping around the base of her thigh. Her very naked, very exposed thigh. Her chest felt heavy and against her will as his fingers moved, rising high enough so his thumb was brushing the base of her ass, she gasped again, the action restarting her heart.

This is it, she thought, as a shudder of pleasure rippled down her spine.

Something in her head told her she should stop this, she should walk away now and hope alcohol clouded both of their memories. Hope it would be to the extent where they would both wake up tomorrow and wonder if it had been a dream.

But she didn't. She didn't tell him to stop as his thumb began to move back and forth, rising just a few millimeters higher each time. She didn't tell him to stop when he rose from his previous position, to sit with his legs straddling her own. And as another hand reached up to part her shirt, his fingers brushing her bare stomach, she knew there was no denying it any longer. She wasn't going to make him stop.

Submerged waves of desire rolled through her, warming the blood under her skin. I don't care if this is all lies, she thought. She didn't care if this was happening because they were both too drunk to pull back, she needed this; she wanted him. The thoughts rattled her, but she was too far under the spell of his hands to dwell on it for long.

Bella could feel the strength of his body, the grip of his hands, the force of his fingers, as he traveled the length and breadth of her bare stomach and thighs. His right hand curved slowly around the top of her thigh, back and forth, moving closer and then further away, but each time only teasing as his fingers still remained millimeters from where she needed them the most. Bella began to twist her body in time with his hands, but sensing her desperation, Jasper pulled back each time, driving her wild.

Never before had she felt so much want for someone, so with desperation, she slowly lowered her body, placing herself directly in his lap. Her neck was now open to the heat of his breath. Catching her lower lip in her mouth to suppress a moan, Jasper's tongue reached out to taste her skin, moving seductively all the way up her neck, only to take her earlobe between his teeth, sucking down on it to her delight.

Writhing in desperation, Bella knew she wasn't the only one in need of some further attention, when Jasper's hard dick pressed up against her naked ass. A clumsy collection of hands and fingers wrestled with the last remaining buttons on her shirt, and as the fabric finally fell apart, she felt her straining nipples tingle in the dark air.

Jasper didn't even pause for a moment, his teeth now biting down on her neck, sucking her flesh, as his hands stroked the soft creamy skin of her breasts. Bella felt her blood turn to molten lava as her back arched into his hands, willing him onwards, his touch sending lightening bolts through her core.

Rubbing her thighs together, she heard him groan, as the action pushed her down against him once again.

"I want to fuck you," Jasper said urgently, his voice deep with lust. He didn't wait for her response, as he flipped her over, her hands grasping the arm of the sofa, her ass high in the air.

Bella leaned forward, her fingers shaking in anticipation, as she heard the ruffles of his pants being discarded. He was upon her in seconds, his hard skin pressing against the bareness of her own, the tautened shape of his body against hers releasing a moan she could no longer suppress.

And then his hands were on her breasts again, not softly this time, but grasping them, teasing her, his fingers rubbing hard against her nipples, sending waves of want shuddering down to the very tips of her toes.

Reaching behind her, Bella wrapped her fingers around his smooth thickness, her soft touch betraying the pure lust racing through her veins. The sensation was obviously too much for him, as he pushed her hands aside and lined himself up with her.

Feeling the very tip of him at her entrance, impatience caused her to push herself back aggressively, taking him inside her with one full hard thrust. They groaned in unison and stilled, enjoying those first pleasurable moments of being connected.

She'd expected him to last only a few moments, but as he fucked her, deep and slow and rhythmic, she couldn't believe he had the control she lacked. One hand grasped firmly onto her hip and she knew from the strength of it, she would be bruised in the morning, but as his second hand moved swiftly down her body, her heart stopped for one beat.

His fingers were on her, joining his dick in eliciting all the pleasures they could from her body. He wasn't just touching her though, he was caressing her, sliding over the slick nub of her core, drawing reluctant moans from her soul. Feeling her whole body begin to throb, she pushed back against him, meeting each of his thrusts ferociously.

Suddenly the slow passion was gone, and in it's place was a pure reflection of animal instincts. Their bodies writhed, pushing and pulling against one another as desperate instincts called to them. His hands abandoned her skin, his slick chest pushed down against her back and just as she thought her arms would falter under his weight, a thick arm wrapped around her the base of her stomach, holding her up and drawing her into him, with one easy motion.

The more intimate position drove her wild, her body thrashing underneath his and as he thrust inside her with enough force to move the entire sofa, Bella felt the tightened sensation in her stomach erupt. As her body arched back violently, he thrust once more, joining her in ecstasy, releasing himself into her.

Slowly, the foreign voices of the television returned, their breathing heavy and fast as they tried to catch some familiar rhythm. Bella didn't dare to move, the feel of him inside her, his whole body flush against hers, it was simply too good. As her muscles began to lose that loose pleasure, she found herself wondering where they would go from this.

Finally Jasper pulled away from her and Bella felt the cold air tickle against her sweat flushed skin. She didn't turn her head to look in his eyes, knowing she would see his guilt reflected their. Pulling the corners of his shirt back around her, she scampered to her feet without a word.

Her feet had already taken her to the doorway and she was thinking of ways to escape the house, but he wasn't going to let her go so easily.

"Alice?" Thinking he had heard her sister arrive home, she stiffened in the doorway. A mouse caught with one foot on the trap. But when his arms wrapped around her, a sickening realization hit her full force. He still didn't know what he'd done. Knowing she had tricked him, even though she'd believed him to be a willing accomplice, sent a whole new wave of nausea rising up from her stomach.

"Ali. I just wanted to say that you were right. I know I was against it at first, but we're better here, you're better here. I think you're right, I think we can finally move past everything." Questions bubbled in her head, but she held each one back. Surely it wouldn't take long for his mind to clear, so he could see the distinctive differences between herself and Alice. Her hair that she'd thrown back was beginning to unravel and like a coward, now she had the choice, she didn't want to be there for the moment when clarity hit.

Jasper's lips brushed her neck tenderly and although rationally she knew if he was still holding firmly to the belief that she wasn't herself, he wouldn't notice the different intonations of her voice. But Bella still couldn't bring herself to really speak.

Mumbling something incoherent about a shower, she flew from the room, walking as fast as she dared, back towards the bedroom that was hers for the night.

Sagging down on the edge of the bed, she couldn't find any clarity over what she'd just done. There were no edges for her to grasp and cling onto, only delicious memories of her body fizzing with desire and right now the consequences hadn't caught up with her racing heart.

Rubbing a hand over her tired eyes, she knew she couldn't stay here. At any moment Alice could return and she wasn't ready to face her yet, least of all when her mind couldn't even compute something that had occurred only moments ago.

Standing swiftly, Bella made her way to the closet, looking for anything to cover her bottom half. A pair of jeans were the first thing her hands could grasp and even though they were clearly Jasper's and far too big, she didn't care enough to search for something else.

Haphazardly grabbing her costume from the bed, she took an extra moment to smooth out the covers. She didn't know why, but the idea of leaving even a trace of herself behind felt wrong.

Opening the bedroom door, she paused, listening for any sign of life. When she could only hear the faint murmuring of that distant television, she almost jogged back towards the front door, finding it with an unlikely ease.

It wasn't going to be that easy though. Just as she'd worked the locks, a wet nose pushed against her hand.

"No Otis. Go find Jasper."

But of course he wasn't going to be appeased so easily. His tail thumped loudly against the nearby wall and each thud sent a jolt of fear up her spine. Darting a look over her shoulder, she pushed his huge furriness aside and slithered through the door, which she'd opened just wide enough to accommodate her body.

Running down the drive, she didn't care that her soles of her feet were being torn apart, nor that she was behaving like a childish lunatic. All Bella knew was she needed to be away; far, far, away from this place.

Reaching the end of the driveway, she turned the corner, leaning up against the high brick wall in an attempt to catch her breath. The adrenaline surging through her body could have pushed her on for miles, but she no destination in mind and the last thing she needed was to find herself drunk and lost, in the middle of the night.

Sifting through her clothes, she finally laid her fingers of the little pouch Leah had attached to her as an afterthought. With shaking hands, she called a cab. But only when her body was resting against a coffee scented leather interior, only then did her heart start to lessen it's frantic beats. As the magnitude of what she'd just done began to filter through her drunken haze.

* * *

**a/n: This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but it needed to be, so I hope you don't mind too much. **

**Next update might not be for a week, but I'll do my best for midweek. **

**Please be kind, writing this sort of stuff makes me nervous, so I hope you didn't think it was too cringe worthy.x**

**Oh and I'm looking for a beta, so if you think it might be something you'd like to try, please let me know.  
**


	15. Incident

"….and unfortunately the decision is going to lie with the both of you." Kate finished, her apologetic eyes wandering across from Bella to Peter.

"How long do we have?" Peter asked, his voice betraying no emotion.

"Ultimately it's going to be a case of the sooner the better, but the cuts need to be in place before the end of August, so a max of ten days." Kate responded, while organizing the pieces of paper in front of her into a neat little pile.

Bella took a deep breath, mentally scanning through each of the faces who filed through the office each day. It wasn't going to be an easy decision to make, but selfishly she relished the thought of having something to take away some of her emotional chaos.

"Thanks for taking the time to do this personally Kate, I know you could have easily just picked up the phone." Bella said sincerely, seeing Kate was ready for this to be over. She'd finished her part in this, the rest was going to be left in her hands, hers and Peter's.

Walking her out of the office and towards the elevators, Bella could see the general curiosity level was at an extreme. Hushed voices and frightened eyes followed her all the way back into the boardroom, where Peter was busy scanning over the information Kate had left behind.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Bella asked, as she sat back down across from him.

Peter raised his eyes at her words and laid down the piece of paper in his hand. "Well, firstly I don't think we should talk about it here, I know some of those guys out there and I don't know how they do it, but nothing gets past them. I don't really want to do it on the weekend, especially not with Charlotte so close to term, so I guess that leaves us with my place or yours. If we do it at mine, I should warn you it's pretty chaotic right now. I also think the sooner it's done the better, if word gets out that we're effectively cutting the staff in two, things could get quite volatile and I don't think either of us want that, for ourselves or for morale."

Nodding along, Bella agreed with almost everything he'd said and while she would have been happy to stay late, or even come in on a Sunday, she could understand his reluctance. After all, most people looked forward to the moment in the day when the could leave the office.

"Well, then I think that pretty much just leaves my apartment. I'm open any evening this week, but I moving soon, so you'll have to excuse the boxes." Bella offered, not feeling the flutter of fear she expected.

Bella smiled lightly to herself as she packed up for the day, thinking how easily she was welcoming Peter into her domain, when only three months ago she would have fought tooth and nail to have the meeting anywhere else. It didn't hurt that in two weeks time she would be back in the land of ultimate privacy. The sale had gone through in record time and even though she knew it was a firm step backwards, it soothed her aching nerves.

"Are you ready Bella?" Looking up to see Peter watching her in the doorway, she nodded curtly before grabbing her cell phone.

Walking the darkened halls with someone else felt a little peculiar and Peter seemed insistent of filling the silence with his attempt at friendly chatter, Bella, as usual, was lost in her own thoughts.

It had been a little over two weeks and the apocalypse she had anticipated hadn't come. The most surprising lack of information had come from a noticeably absent Leah and even though Seth informed her she was on an impromptu trip to the Cote D'Azur, it still didn't seem in keeping with her perpetually nosy self.

Bella felt a little like she'd committed the worst crime imaginable, left all manner of evidence behind and was now waiting for the fallout.

Nervously waiting.

"Bella! Are you listening?" Peter's was staring at her with one of those concerned looks that always seemed to turn her stomach.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking how I don't have any food in, we'll have to order something in." Bella offered, hoping food would distract him, which luckily it did.

"Oh, great, well how do you feel about Chinese? Char's sworn off since she found out about the baby and I've been trying to sway the execs into taking our meetings at The Oriental Dragon, but they're all too afraid of getting sweet and sour on their ties."Peter's enthusiastic rant swept her away and as she concentrated on each of his words, she was surprised by just how hungry she felt.

The idle conversation they entertained ended the minute her key slid effortlessly into the thick gold lock; remembering a moment, a simple drunken moment from not so long ago. Shaking the memory from her mind, she pushed the door open and noticed Peter giving her the smallest of inquisitive looks, obviously aware of her mental slip.

Stepping around the boxes which were randomly dotted all over the apartment, Bella led Peter through to the kitchen, heading straight for the drawer where the takeaway menus lived. It was the one drawer left untouched in her organized efforts to end the riddled thoughts possessing her mind.

"Here, pick one," she offered, holding out a handful of menus, knowing already which one he would choose. And just as she'd assumed, he only had eyes for the two Chinese places.

"Which one of these is the best?" Peter asked, his tone so very serious it made Bella laugh lightly.

"Haha's is good, but I think Ping's takes it with their crispy beef." Just saying the words made Bella's hunger announce itself once again, so as soon as Peter had reeled off a long list of items, she called in the order.

"I hope you don't mind the wait, they said it'll be around thirty minutes, something about being short staffed." Bella revealed, watching his face drop like a small disappointed child.

"Well, maybe getting a start on making some tough decisions will distract me." Peter huffed and while Bella had already decided they would work around her small dining table, he had other ideas.

Following him out to the living room, Peter shrugged out of his charcoal suit jacket and loosened his tie. Seeing his intentions, she followed his lead, slipping her black stiletto pumps from her aching feet, as he finished rolling up his sleeves.

After laying out all of the individual employee information she'd printed out, Bella began to separate people into departments.

"So how're we going to do this?" Peter seemed genuinely interested in her opinion. She paused, running a hand over her still perfectly kept bun, pleased that not a hair had fallen out of place.

"Well, I think we start by looking at an entire restructure. I can't see any other way of doing it." Bella offered, pleased when he didn't dismiss the idea outright. After all it would be fairly simple just to downsize each department, this would mean far more effort and energy on both their parts.

Scribbling down each new idea, their minds focusing well together on the task at hand, Bella felt a rush of exhilaration flood her system. Peter was also enraptured by their progress, so when a knock sounded at the door, both of them seemed entirely surprised.

"Oh wow, I can't believe I forgot how hungry I am." Peter laughed, his voice clearly showing his amusement.

Bella scampered towards the noise, her bare feet making no sound on the tiled floor. Swinging the door open, her eyes widened, her heart beat ferociously and her fingers turned white as she used the door to hold up her weakened knees.

"Bella, I thought maybe we could talk." Jasper's entire body seemed to fill the wide hallway, his eyes searching hers desperately.

Just having him within her proximity sent her thoughts reeling. His hair was it's usual disheveled honey blonde mess, his deep blue eyes were so familiar it hurt and as her eyes lowered to capture the six pack of beers held in his fingers, she was speechless.

"Hey Bella, why don't you let me get this?" Peter offered, innocent of what was occurring right in front of him.

"Oh sorry, I thought it was the Chinese."

Bella caught the look that passed between Jasper and Peter and while neither had any claim on her, she was surprised to see them evaluate one other.

"Bella Swan?" A fourth voice entered the foray and Bella closed her eyes, hoping when she opened them again, this situation would have rectified itself. But the only thing which differed was Peter handing over some cash to the Chinese guy, before saying the last thing, the very last thing she wanted him to say.

"Hey man, are you gonna join us?"

Bella's eyes snapped across and glared directly at Jasper, providing him with the correct response to this question.

"Sure." Jasper said, so casually it almost sounded like it had been his intent all along.

"Do you want a beer?" Bella heard Jasper ask, but it wasn't directed at her, after all he was already stepping around her frozen body, the proximity of him setting her on fire.

Their voices were now only mumbles, so Bella forced herself into action; prying her fingers from the door and closing it softly behind her. Taking a deep breath, she started the short but tortuous walk through to the kitchen, where both Peter and Jasper were clearly making themselves at home.

"…Whitlock, no way man, I was a senior at Brown the year you arrived, I watched you play ball," Peter gushed, clearly pleased to have made some sort of connection.

Jasper smiled widely, but his eyes were now on Bella, who was standing in the doorway wondering how her life had come to this.

"There was talk of you going pro, God, I can still remember that catch you made against the Eagles..." Peter continued, while opening up the many aroma filled containers of food.

Bella could barely stomach seeing Jasper standing in her kitchen, let alone imagine him as some sporting God. So, trying to banish the thought from her mind, she rustled past the two men, loudly pulling plates from an almost barren cupboard.

Peter didn't linger long and as he confidently strode back through to the living room, Bella finally raised her eyes to meet Jasper's, speaking to him in a forced whisper, "I can't do this now. You need to leave."

Without meaning to, she slammed the cupboard door shut, the grasp she was wielding over her frayed emotions only just holding under the unwanted noise.

"We need to talk. We can either do it here, or in there in front of your boyfriend." Jasper offered, his eyes not betraying a hint of what the conversation would entail; how he would approach what he must believe was her deceit. But the words dripped from his lips like acid.

Stepping closer, Bella could almost feel his fingers on her skin, the memory of him written all over her body. "I can't do this Jasper, Peter is my work colleague and I hope you can appreciate why this just isn't the right time…" Just as she was about to say more, Peter popped his head around the door, his eyes sparkling with amusement as they flickered back and forth between Bella and Jasper.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see what the hold up was." Peter apologized, his words offering something his expression didn't.

Grabbing his plate, Jasper gave Bella one last look, his eyes softening as he caught the fear in her own, truly believing he was about to expose her in front of Peter.

"Come on Bella." Jasper said slowly, the warmth in his voice calling to her as he walked away.

Sighing, she loaded up her plate and then followed the amiable laughter, the sound making her frown in disapproval. The banter between them was effortless, like it always seemed to be with men, especially those who have sports in common.

In just fifteen minutes of chatting with Peter, Bella learned more about Jasper then she had in three months. But it was the way he was so open, so easy, that had her wondering if it was just her he was so cautious of, her he didn't open himself up to. Wondering if maybe he'd known she had ulterior intentions all along.

"So do you still play?" Peter asked, his hands covered in Szechwan sauce, a rib poised in front of his mouth.

"Yeah I do, obviously just for fun, but me and some guys I've known forever play every Sunday, when I'm in town anyway. You should come along, we play at a park right by my place…" Jasper responded, clearly enthused with Peter and the direction of the conversation.

Bella just sat there, her plate of food diminished, her stomach full and her senses on high alert. Every twist and turn of the conversation had her on edge, just waiting for those five letters she wasn't sure she could stand coming from his lips again. Alice.

She hadn't even decided how she felt about herself, but she knew her plans, Leah's plans, all of it had been ruined by a irrational three am decision, when her mind was too hazy with champagne bubbles to be reliable. No emotions, it was the one rule she had laid down for herself, the one indisputable, unbreakable rule, but she wasn't sure anymore if she'd abided by her own tenet. Looking at Jasper as he passionately argued about what kind of season the Cubs were having, a conversation topic that seemed to Bella to have sprung from nowhere, she wasn't sure of anything.

Throwing back the last of her beer, without a word she gathered the empty plates and padded out of the room. The kitchen offered her a fragment of respite, so for just a moment Bella languished in her relief. Steeling her nerves for round two, she grabbed the three remaining beers and took them through to the living room, placing the two spares on the table.

Just because she was back in the room didn't make her anymore included in the conversation and while Peter seemed completely at ease with that, Jasper repeatedly looked her way. She wasn't sure what exactly he wanted her to say, but her silence was unshaken. After all she had very little to contribute to a conversation about sports, or north Chicago real estate prices, or sailing, which had also randomly come up.

Just as she was about to press the fresh beer to her lips, a cell phone sang out in the room. Bella's eyes immediately fell on Jasper, looking for him to answer the call. Her fears were alleviated when Peter stood and reached for his jacket, before stepping out of the room for some privacy.

Bella eyes remained on Jasper, waiting for him to make his move. But he just watched her, calculating something in his secretly guarded mind. Her mouth opened to ask the question, the one question that she needed answering above all, but she closed it again as her confidence dissolved. The way he was watching her, patience pouring from him, it made her feel weak and small. She was curling up inside, guilt and something else she couldn't place tearing her up.

The guilt had come quickly, entered her consciousness almost as soon as the sun had opened her eyes the following morning. She hadn't anticipated feeling it, she hadn't anticipated feeling anything, but she carried it around like a second skin. It wasn't for Alice, not for the girl who had all but pushed her down this path. No, it was for the man sitting in front of her, the man she had attempted to manipulate, attempted to consume.

"Bella, look at me." Jasper's command lifted her eyes automatically, his own searching hers, searching for the truth no doubt. But she couldn't hold his gaze, couldn't bring herself to still be locked so intimately with him. Not when he was going to finally let her in, let her see what was bubbling beneath the wonderfully constructed surface.

"Bella, I'm sorry but I have to go, Char's not feeling too good. I know we didn't get much done, but I think we made a good start." Peter explained, while reassembling himself back into the businessman she recognized from everyday.

Sensing an opportunity, Bella pounced, "Actually Peter, I'm not feeling too well myself. If neither of you mind, I think I might just make it an early night."

Peter looked up briefly, his eyes wandering across Bella and Jasper in that inquisitive way once again. She recognized what he was doing, as he tried to ascertain what exactly they were to each other, especially as he'd obviously decided on something intimate. She knew she should correct him, but couldn't figure out how to do so without bringing up her sister, or an allusion to her.

Standing up, she had simply expected both men to swiftly exit, but Jasper was already by her side. Standing close, standing far too close. Having him so near made her panic, her body itching to move away, but with Peter observing them, she ignored her instincts.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked, his fingers warm against her skin as he lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to his. He wasn't just asking about her health, about the feigned illness she was sure he wasn't buying, the question was genuine.

Not knowing how to answer, she brushed it off, smiling weakly and moving away all in one motion. "I'll be fine, nothing a dark room and a good night's rest won't cure."

"Well, call me if you need anything."

Bella played along, nodding and smiling, even though they both knew she didn't have his number.

Thinking it couldn't be this easy, she watched them walk away as she held her breath. Jasper's casual attire, his long hair, the confidence in his stride and the width of his shoulders, it was nothing like the lean gait of Peter, his dark cropped hair and his suit announcing nothing but business. They contrasted each other so well, but it was Jasper who captured her attention as he finally faded from sight.

Slamming the door shut with far too much enthusiasm, she leaned back against the cold wood, trying to figure out what had just happened. Why he had come. Getting no answers from her own mind, Bella set to removing any and every trace of him from her apartment, even going so far as to turn over the cushion where he had sat.

Feeling cleansed, she followed through on her words, retiring to bed far too early to sleep, but soon enough for her mind to wander under the crisp familiar sheets of her oversized bed, a bed far too large for one solitary person.

Angry at herself, she turned over once again, trying to figure out why when it came to Jasper she lost all her usual poise, her self taught confidence. Her made her feel like that little girl, the one she thought she'd left behind in Forks.

Huffing loudly, she turned again, staring at the ceiling with her eyes wide open, her thoughts fluttering. Why had he come? Why tonight? What had he told Alice? Was she even around? The questions lined up, each jostling for position, but she didn't have an answer for any of them. She thought about calling Leah, just like she had every night since she'd fallen, but while her mind itched, her fingers were static.

The glaringly obvious truth was staring right at her, right through her; she'd fucked up. There hadn't been a feeling of elation, no victory dancing and definitely no sense of relief. It wasn't over, but now she was beginning to think it never would be. Jasper had wanted to talk, but how could she? How could she look at him without falling under the blanket of guilt?, when just the thought of him consumed her.

Remembering the curve of his fingers, his breath on her neck, his weight pressed down against her exposed self, she threw back the covers and moved to sit in the window seat, asking the city for something to distract her mind.

Never before had she been so fraught, so swept away by her imagination, her fantasies, and now was the most unsuitable time for her mind to be unfocused. Pushing Jasper aside, she tried to focus on anything else, anything but the way she'd felt so enchanted beneath him.

Deciding enough was enough, Bella walked through the darkness, searching out the notes she and Peter had made. It wasn't a revolutionary plan, but she felt in her gut it would work, streamlining the staff while maintaining efficiency and the most important thing, reducing costs. She couldn't wait to show Kate what they had and knowing Peter wouldn't mind her solo progress, she carried on working deep into the night.

The ten days passed quickly, the energy in the office dark with ominous foreboding of the changes about to be made. But it wasn't just the days, Bella's nights swept by too. The exhaustion from the days, the depth of understanding of what she was about to do, stealing all her energy away.

As the last dejected face of tears tore out of the office, she slumped back down in her chair, the rigid spine she'd been wearing all day screaming in relief.

"I'm so glad that's over." Peter infused with a tired voice.

Bella didn't respond, it had been a tough day mentally and while rationally she knew all their decisions had been the right ones, it still weighed heavy on her shoulders.

"Do you want to get a drink. Celebrate?" The words seemed a little callous when half of their colleagues would be out drowning their sorrows, but she still nodded. Bella just couldn't bring herself to go back to the soulless hotel, her interim residence while her possessions moved from one apartment to another.

"Meet you out front in ten, I just need to shut down." Peter called over his shoulder as he exited, leaving Bella alone in the eerily still boardroom. Shuffling to her feet, she pressed down her slightly creased pencil skirt, making sure her blouse was still neatly tucked in.

Not needing to shut down a computer she hadn't bothered to turn on, she turned off the lights of the boardroom before sweeping towards the elevators.

"You ready?" Peter smiled, as he pressed the button to call the elevator once again.

"This place is going to feel pretty empty come Monday." She offered, her way of making polite conversation as the elevator thrummed down to the ground floor.

They had taken two steps into the humid night air when she heard her name being called by the devil herself.

Peter stopped, his eyes searching for the source, but Bella pressed on, practically pulling him along with her as she eyed their escape.

"Isabella Swan, don't you dare run away from me." Rosalie called, her icy voice scraping down Bella's skin.

Going against her own instincts, she kept walking. She wanted to turn and confront, face the bitch and stand proudly by her actions; but she wasn't going to do it with Peter by her side. Even though she didn't know Rosalie at all, she knew her well enough to know she wouldn't hold back for anything, the least of all Bella's professional discretion.

"Is she calling you?" Peter asked a little frantically.

Bella swept on, her heels clacking down with purposeful intent.

"Bella, don't make me do this in front of the whole of Chicago!" The threat was palpable and her feet stopped, turning to Peter she pushed him on gently with her hand. "Sorry about this, it's a family drama thing, I'll meet you at the bar, I won't be long."

Peter turned to continue on, but she could tell it was with resignation. He wanted to stick around and see the catfight.

Turning in the crosswalk, Bella didn't think to look and see if it was clear, didn't hear the sound of the engine approaching, she was simply far too focused on those hatred filled eyes. But as the hatred turned to shock, a white palm reached out, begging her to stop. Whipping her head around in surprise, the flash of yellow was close, far, far too close; but it was simply too late for either of them.

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**a/n: I'm so sorry this is late. I really did mean to get it out sooner, but to be completely honest I just couldn't bring myself to write anything last week, so here we are now. Next update is going to be midweek. Oh and please don't kill me for leaving it like this...x**

**(still looking for a Beta - any offers?)  
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	16. Intent

**a/n: I'm so excited to be able to say this... thank you to my two lovely beta's. Twiticulate you rocked my furry little socks and I can't wait to get the next chapter out to you. Liamsgurl33 thanks for being my own little vip! Oh and I added some stuff last minute, but of course any and all errors will always lie at my door. **

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The room smelt strongly of disinfectant, disinfectant and something so familiar she couldn't name. The word _hospital_ flashed in her mind and without even needing to open her eyes, she knew that's where she was.

The memories were hazy, but there was definitely a flash of yellow, a pain in her left side so distinct it sent an almost alien shudder down her spine and then nothing. Figuring it was time to assess the damage, she opened her eyes. The dim yellow lighting wasn't the harsh white she was expecting.

The room was barren, not a single flower, card or trinket sent by those wishing her well, but that thought didn't even enter Bella's head. She was busy being grateful not to be stuck in some crowded ward, where she would be forced to face the disease and apathy of strangers.

Pressing the little red button next to her bed, Bella decided it was time to get some answers and hopefully a glass of water.

"Ms. Swan, I'm pleased to see you awake again." A man in a white coat swished through the room, his jet-black hair making him look far younger than the lines on his tanned skin.

"So, how're you feeling?" He smiled through his words and Bella recognized a forced bedside manner when his eyes remained dull.

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked, not sure if she really wanted to hear his response.

"What do you remember?"

It irked her that he couldn't just get on with her diagnosis, but she indulged him nonetheless. "I remember a cab plowing into my side, but nothing after that."

He nodded his head, throwing her another of his forced smiles as he watched her intently. "Excellent, well that's the story I heard too. The gentleman who came in with you left a few hours ago. Would you like me to arrange for one of the nurses to call him? Or someone else perhaps?" The words were kind, but the dull throbbing, which seemed to emanate from every corner of her body was stealing her patience.

"Please, could you just tell me how bad it is?" She pleaded, already assuming from the temporary splint wrapped around her right hand that she'd at least broken something.

Pulling out a chair for himself, Bella wondered if this was normal. Her visits to hospitals had been few and far between, but she couldn't remember one single Doctor in the movies she'd seen taking a seat.

"Well, I've actually already been through all this with you once before, but obviously you don't remember do you? Which also means you don't remember who I am do you?"

Squinting her eyes, Bella tried desperately to find any recollection of seeing this Doctor before, let alone actually entertaining a conversation with him.

"Your friend indicated you banged your head pretty badly on the curb, and though we've run a CT scan which didn't show any signs of a hemorrhage, we'll be keeping a close eye on you for a few days. The memory loss is most likely a side effect of your pain medication, but the nurse will be in later to run a few tests. Along with some bruised ribs, you suffered a Bennett's fracture to your thumb which unfortunately is going to require surgery, and nineteen stitches in your right leg which I believe was the point of impact. Other than that you were very lucky, some minor scrapes and bruises of course. "

At hearing him mention surgery, Bella's heartbeat elevated. Surgery was never good, no matter how blasé the Doctor was about throwing it out there.

"So when's the surgery?" she asked, hoping it would be later rather than sooner.

"Well, we're going to wait and see how that head of yours heals, but I would say if everything looks okay after your next scan, Friday?" He posed it as a question, but Bella knew she wasn't going to have any say in his decision.

"Great, well thanks. Do you think it might be possible to get a glass of water?" she asked, feeling annoyingly hopeless.

He swished back out of the room without another word and when he hadn't returned ten minutes later, Bella was left wondering whether he'd heard her at all.

Trying out a little movement with her leg, she quickly decided it was a bad idea when a spark of pain shot through her body. Tentatively pulling back the thick white sheets to assess the damage, she was a little relieved to see nothing more than a huge bandage. A strip of white surrounded by superficial cuts and the beginnings of several ferocious bruises.

"You asked for some water?"

Raising her eyes sharply, she couldn't help the little groan of defeat that rose from her throat as Jasper strode effortlessly into the room, placing a small glass thoughtfully next to her left side.

"How did you know I was here?" The question fell from her lips, but she was already fairly certain of the answer. She just couldn't fathom why Rosalie would call _him_.

"Peter called me. I would've been here sooner but I just got back into town."

Bella heard his words, but she simply couldn't understand them. It didn't take a genius for her to realize Peter had officially decided they belonged in a distinctly intimate category. But where was Rosalie in all this? And was Alice following not too far behind?

"What about Rosalie?" she asked, even though the words hurt to say.

His eyes narrowed a little dangerously, but his words were calm, just like his demeanor. "What about her?"

Taking a sip of water, which rushed pleasantly down her throat, Bella composed her response. "She was there when I got hit, I just assumed she was the one to call you. I mean, it just made the most sense." Shaking her head, she knew it hadn't come out as she'd planned, but the effect was the same.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What were you doing with Rosalie?" Jasper all but demanded, the tone of his voice turning to an icy shade of anger.

Bella didn't like where this was going, but she also figured from his words he knew her even less than she believed she knew him.

"I wasn't _with _Rosalie. She was just there, that's all." Closing her eyes, she tried, unsuccessfully, not to replay the moment in her mind.

"Bella, this isn't making sense. Can you please just tell me what happened? You don't need to protect her. I know very well what Rosalie is like and I also know you have something of a vendetta against one another, so for once could you just be honest with me." His words lifted the jarring memories from her mind, bringing her back to him with an inaudible thump.

Although she saw it more as protecting herself than Rosalie, she knew she had to offer Jasper something.

"Fine. She was waiting for me when I left the office. Either that, or it was just one seriously fucked up coincidence. I was with Peter so I tried to ignore her, but she just kept calling me. I told him to go on without me and I guess I was too distracted to look where I was going. Anyway, she saw the whole thing." The image of Rosalie's fear filled eyes flitted through her head, her whole body shaking as the flash of yellow followed.

"That means Alice knows too." Jasper's thoughts swirled ominously in the air. Alice wasn't someone she'd thought of yet, but now that her name had been spoken, Bella wondered just how long it would be before her sister descended.

"Is she coming?" she hadn't meant to sound so weak, but the words came out in a frightened whisper.

Jasper slumped down in the chair Dr. Banner had strangely occupied, his eyes heavy with too many emotions for Bella to track.

"I wouldn't know, she moved out three weeks ago. We haven't spoken since." His words were evenly spaced, no rise or fall in pitch to offer any emotion and Bella didn't know him well enough to read his body language, to hear him beyond his words.

"I'm sorry?" The words fell from her mouth but she hadn't meant it to sound like a question, hadn't meant to offer him a window into her innermost thoughts. Because honestly, she didn't know if she was sorry, didn't know if the words meant anything everything she'd done. Unable to tell him she'd orchestrated the whole thing, that she was the sole instigator in the demise of his relationship, she shrunk back into herself. She hadn't planned for this, hadn't ever imagined she would have to stare into his pain filled sapphire eyes, knowing the guilt suffocating her was thoroughly deserved.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella, I took advantage of you, it's me who should be apologizing." His eyes held such a strong sense of sincerity, that even though a rebuttal was poised on her lips, she just couldn't bring it forth.

"What makes you think that Jasper?" She questioned, her intrigue genuine.

"This is why I tried to talk to you Bella, I can't believe I did that to you, took advantage of you in such a way, and then I went and called you by your sister's name. I think I knew, I just didn't want to admit it to myself."

She wanted to laugh out loud, tear the sympathy from his eyes, and show him what he was clearly unwilling to see.

"Jasper, I knew what I was doing." Bella spoke sincerely, her eyes meeting his, already knowing from the firmness she found there he wasn't ready to believe her.

"Bella, you were falling down drunk and I, well, I can't believe what I did to you. I didn't even kiss you." His voice lowered in shame and Bella's hand flew automatically to her lips, a surge of pain shooting through her body with the movement.

"Oh, here let me get a nurse for you." Jasper rushed to his feet and then seemed to awkwardly pause, waiting for her approval.

"Please don't Jasper, I'm fine really, just not used to having to think before I move." Lifting her hand slowly, she motioned for him to sit again, all the while trying not to look at his lips, revisiting his words.

Scanning back over their night together, she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before, hadn't noticed how lacking their intimacy had been. It was easy to see from his perspective how she might feel slighted by his domineering coldness, but he simply didn't understand her. Sex wasn't something she associated with love, or any other emotions really; it was a physical release, nothing more nothing less.

Lifting her eyes slightly, she didn't know what more she had to say to him, but he was obviously waiting for some form of reaction from her.

"So, Alice? I mean… is that… is that why she left? Did you tell her?" To her own ears she sounded flustered, her eyes trailing over the red scratches on her arm, too afraid to meet his reaction.

"Alice and I had issues long before we moved to Chicago. I'm not so sure this wouldn't have happened either way."

Waiting patiently, Bella assumed more was to come. But as the silence expanded, the only sounds in the room emanating from without, her eyes raised to meet his. A mask had fallen over his pain and seeing only a stoic stranger before her, she knew he would say no more.

Feeling irritated by his lack of trust in her, she returned to staring at the patterns of red and purple covering her once flawless skin.

"Jasper, you don't have to be here, I'm sure you have somewhere else you need to be." Her dismissal of him was easy, but his reaction wasn't.

"I'll only leave if you let me call someone for you, you can't be here alone Bella." Stubbornly he lifted his legs to her bed, the muscles in his forearms flexing hypnotically as he sought some new physical comfort. Obviously feeling pleased with himself, she wondered if he knew she didn't have anyone else to call?

"Fine, then you might want to get a sleeping bag or something, because I doubt anyone is coming anytime soon." Laying her aching body flat against the hard pillows, Bella closed her eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.

"You're kidding me right? I mean I know it's nearing the end of visiting hours, but you must have someone coming." His disbelief was clear in the way his voice had raised slightly.

She didn't have the energy to respond and as she succumbed to another bout of sleep she didn't feel like she actually needed, she muttered out something against her better judgment.

"Come on sweetie, we need you awake for this." A sweet voice whispered in her head and Bella turned towards the source, her eyes fluttering open. Dressed in a pair of green scrubs, Bella smiled unconsciously at the angelic blonde nurse, a woman, who with only nine words, had set her heart at ease.

"Dr. Banner wants me to do some tests to see how that brain of yours is working."

Without meaning to be so obvious, Bella's eyes darted around the room, looking for the man who all but sworn he would remain by her side.

"Oh, don't you worry about your boyfriend honey, I sent him off to get something to eat. It took me a while to convince him, so I'm sure he won't be gone long." The conspiratorial smile the nurse felt they were sharing died on Bella's lips and just as she was about to refute her assumptions, Dr. Banner entered the room.

Feeling like a patronized child, Bella followed each of their instructions with care, knowing it could possibly mean the difference between leaving this room in two days or ten.

"Well, it looks like everything is working as it should, but I'm still going to go ahead and order another CT scan just to be sure. The bruising should go down in a few days."

Hearing the word bruising fall from his lips, Bella's eyebrows drew down.

"Oh don't worry honey, it looks a lot worse than it is." The little motherly nurse offered, but her words didn't sooth this time.

"Do you have a mirror?" Bella asked, her words a little on the sharp side.

"No. But I can help you to the bathroom sweetie."

Already shuffling her body to the edge of the bed, Bella accepted the help being offered to her when the pain began to erupt.

"Hey…" Jasper's words fell into the room as he rushed to her side. The strength of his body offering her the support she desperately needed.

"I've got it from here." Jasper said directly to the nurse, who had become a little useless, as his arms wrapped possessively around her fragile frame.

Her little sneaker clad feet squeaked as she exited the room, leaving Bella feeling seven shades of uncomfortable as she depended entirely on Jasper.

"Where are we headed?" He asked, his voice light.

"The bathroom," she all but forced out, her tone strict.

His strength was her own and as she stood in front of the mirror, feeling entirely exposed in her thin hospital gown, the air was swept from her lungs.

She didn't know how she hadn't felt them, but the entire left side of her face from cheekbone to temple, was covered in an ugly purple bruise. She could tell from the color that it was only going to get worse. But it wasn't only that, a horrible looking set of cuts sat just above her eyebrow, and now that she was aware of them, they stung a little as she manipulated the muscles of her face.

"It could have been a lot worse, you know."

Hearing his voice over her shoulder, she lifted her eyes from her own battered face to his handsome perfection. Standing tall over her shoulder, she felt so small next to him; so fragile.

"I'll give you a minute."

Taking the time he afforded her to shuffle around the room, she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes. Not sure if the source was only self pity, she swept them away with the back of her left hand, careful not to use her right like her instincts desired.

"Jasper, would you help me back to bed?" Her voice was weak and she hoped he wouldn't comment on her lightly bloodshot eyes.

He didn't just offer his support though, his strong arms wrapped around her legs, lifting her so delicately she tried to hide the pain he caused her. Feeling entirely too comfortable in his arms, once her body was supported by the unforgiving mattress, she looked at him straight.

"Jasper, I think you should leave." The words were firm, her intentions clear, but he still threw himself down into the beige chair.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" he asked, his arms resting down on his knees, his interest in her answer clear.

"When?"

"When you said you don't have anybody?"

She couldn't remember saying it, but it obviously wasn't something he had made up, so she merely shrugged.

"Seriously Bella? What about a friend, a relative? There must be someone I can call for you. What about Charlie? I'll even call Alice if that's what you want."

Trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill, Bella lifted her hand, silently asking him to stop.

"I don't need you to call anyone Jasper. I'll be fine. I don't need anyone to look after me." But he still ignored her.

"Seriously Bella, no-one? I know you're independent, but you can't just deal with this by yourself. I promise I won't even stick around if that's what you're worried about." Hearing the hurt in his voice, it was blatant he thought she would want him to call Alice, so without another thought she decided to put that thought to rest.

"Actually Jasper, the last person I want to see right now is Alice. I know you don't understand the root of our issues, but after everything that's happened I don't think I could face her right now. So, no Alice."

His relief was obvious, but it didn't make Bella feel any better. Alice was going to walk away from their encounter with only a few scrapes, while Bella was riddled with scars.

"Fine, but someone else then. What about Peter?"

Bella laughed lightly, seeing Peter here wouldn't be much better than Alice, but she could tell he was serious, so she relented.

"Jasper, the only person I would even consider calling is in France right now. But I don't want anyone here, I don't need someone to look after me. I'll be fine by myself."

Their standoff was at an impasse and no longer fearing what her words would do to his opinion of her, she continued, the words gushing from her lips like come cathartic exercise.

"I don't have friends Jasper and the only family I ever had I left behind a long time ago. So, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't need your pity, or your sympathy, or whatever this is. I just want to be left alone." Knowing it was true offered her a little of her usual confidence and she stared down at Jasper with intent, hoping he would finally get the message.

"What do you have then? If you don't have friends or family, what do you fill your life with Isabella Swan?"

Hearing her full name fill the room, she was surprised his tone was still soft but demanding. She didn't comprehend why, but he was trying to understand her and it didn't matter anymore that he would never be able to.

Snapping, the words flew eagerly from her gut. "I have my career Jasper. Is that what you need to hear? It's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and it's what I dream about at night. Is that clear enough for you? Now if you don't mind I'm feeling sleepy." Hoping he would finally vacate his seat and leave her to lament his departure, she closed her eyes.

She didn't see him approach her, but she felt his warmth, his undeniable heat penetrating her weakened body. His fingers were soft as they brushed her unkempt hair from her face, only skipping across her skin with a feather light touch.

"I don't know what she did to you Bella and one day you'll tell me, but until then I'm going to prove to you that your career isn't enough. You aren't even surviving right now, never mind living and if it's the only apology I can give you, I'll make damn fucking sure you see I'm right."

Her mind was slow to respond and just as she was about to fight back, tell him the whole truth about her entire diabolical plan, how she'd attempted to manipulated him from the start, she opened her eyes and he was gone, leaving her and the room feeling entirely too empty.

Waking up in the darkness of night, an eerie awareness flooded her consciousness; she wasn't alone. Turning her head to face the chair Jasper had vacated hours ago, her eyes locked with the Devil herself, only this time she didn't have any hope of escape.

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**a/n: Next update will hopefully be this weekend.**

** It's coming at lot sooner than I had planned actually, but it's time for some answers and there's only one way you're getting them, straight from the bitch's mouth. **


	17. Ire

**a/n: So I'm really interested to see what you think about this one, because I've had a very mixed reaction. Twiticulate is my wonderful super impressive beta, she pulls me back from hypothetical ledges, while reminding me I have other friends than my dear old comma. The note is for you hun (but it might not mean quite what you think it does!). Liamsgurl33 is my lovely pre-reader - thank you for your thoughts sweetie. Enough from me... on with the show!  
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Closing her eyes, Bella took in out steady breath, before expelling it right back out into the atmosphere, focusing her whole mind on that one simple little action. The sound of long fingernails drumming impatiently on a wooden surface set a small smile on her lips, knowing Rosalie was probably all fired up and ready for this.

Opening her eyes, Bella turned slowly, languidly taking note of the heels on Rosalie's stiletto boots, so sharp they could cut through glass. Her face was it's usual otherworldly perfection and Bella couldn't help thinking about just much of a contrast they were at this moment; her skin marked by her indelible stupidity.

"Hi Rosalie, so nice to see you again." Bella's voice was full of saccharine sarcasm, the kind she saved only for the likes of Rosalie and Alice.

"So you're not dead then." Rosalie eyed her up and down, obviously disappointment by the continuing beat of her heart.

"Yep, sorry to disappoint you…." she was about to say more when a deep laugh filled the room, emanating from a very pleased Rosalie. "That's really what you think isn't it; that I would want to see you dead? Don't get me wrong Bella, I don't like you at all. In fact something about you just makes me want to smack the living fuck out of you, but you're far more entertaining to me alive than dead."

The insight into her mind wasn't pretty, but it wasn't even remotely unexpected. Mentally throwing back her shoulders, Bella watched as Rose absently picked some invisible lint from her expensive leather purse, looking entirely at ease.

"So, you're here to feed me jello then? Hold my hand as they stitch me up? Cut the bullshit Rosalie, what do you want?" Bella threw back, their eyes meeting in the darkness.

"I want to finish what I tried to start today, before you ran away from me like the little bitch I always knew you were." Obviously expecting some sort of reaction, Rosalie paused.

"I want to know what the fuck you did to break up Alice and Jasper. And don't feed me any of the lies I know you're selling him; I know you really want to tell me." Her eyes were sharp as they snapped over to the door, a passing figure in the small rectangular window lending dark shadows to the high arch of her cheekbones. Seeing the villain within, Bella wondered if Rosalie had any idea just how ugly she truly was.

"And why should I tell you?" Bella offered, her voice high and light, testing and teasing her oldest enemy. "How about you offer me something first and then I'll think about telling you all about it? After all, I know how vain you are Rosalie Hale. Surely you're just dying to tell me how easy it's been to manipulate Alice all these years."

Rosalie licked her lips, her tongue slithering out in a show of overt arrogance. "It's Rosalie Cullen actually, I thought you of all people would remember that!"

Bella rolled her eyes, even though she hated the action, it was exactly the type of situation to warrant it.

"So Rosalie _Cullen_, how'd you do it?" Bella asked, offering an inviting smile that simply begged for Rose to open up her little cavern of deceit.

"You'd love that wouldn't you? I mean obviously in your mind, sweet little Alice couldn't possibly do anything so mean without me pulling her strings, could she? But what if you've got it wrong? What if the infallible Isabella actually had it backward all these years?"

Bella turned the words over in her head, unsure if this was just another one of Rosalie's tactics. Deciding to indulge her when she was clearly willing to open up, Bella raised her eyebrow, signaling for the venom to spew once again.

"Ha! You think it's that easy? You just lie there like a feeble victim and I'll tell you everything? This isn't some Disney movie Isabella. I'm not here to deliver you my monologue and wrap up all your questions in pretty pastel bows."

"Fine Rosalie, I guess you'll just have to ask Jasper then. Or better yet why don't you go feed Alice some of your bullshit? I'm sure she's just dying to empty her soul to you." Bella spat, tiring of this battle if she wasn't going to get any answers.

Something flickered in Rosalie's eyes and although the act hurt her frail body, she sat up just a little straighter. "Oh, but that's it isn't it? What's up Rosie, having a little trouble with your best friend?" Bella grinned, knowing she was right, as Rosalie's eyes narrowed. Sensing her weakness, Bella ploughed on, "Why is this so important to you anyway Rosie? Hmm... let me guess… you thought if Alice could wrap Jasper far enough around her finger, she just might be able to convince him you aren't the bitch we all know you are?"

Bella felt a smidge triumphant, fully believing the words as they escaped her mouth, but as Rosalie's eyes drew down in confusion, her confidence faltered.

"Are you kidding me? You're so fucking pathetic Bella…." A loud guffaw fell from her lips, as she looked Bella up and down, shaking her head in derision. "I bet Leah filled your head with that bullshit didn't she; told you all about Daddy Whitlock's estate being contested and you just connected some stupid dots didn't you? Did you ever stop and think I have all the money I need? That his will doesn't mean anything to me? God, I always knew you were weak, but I really didn't know you were a fucking moron too."

Just as the words had been intended, Bella bristled against them. But with pain meds floating through her system, she wasn't capable of quite keeping up. If Rosalie was telling the truth, which was doubtful but possible, did it mean anything?

"Aww did you think you would hurt me too with whatever plan you're worthless little mind cooked up? So sorry sweetie, but I guess you're just not quite as smart as you think you are, are you?" Rosalie smirked, the glint in her eyes challenging Bella.

The truth hit Bella hard and filled her veins with a newfound hatred. Rosalie hadn't been her main target, but now she was wondering if she should have been.

"What did I ever do to you Rosalie? You never liked me did you?" Trying to sway the conversation away from her failure, Bella eyed the graceful woman carefully, knowing she really did want answers this time.

"Me? What did _you _do to _me? _Pretty hypocritical question don't you think? After all you've been jealous of me all along, I just followed your lead."

Trying to think back to their very beginning, Bella couldn't find the memories to confirm or deny anything, but surely it wasn't that simple.

"I don't get it, are you trying to say it's my fault? It was something I did?" Bella knew as soon as the words had slipped from her lips Rosalie would pounce on their weakness.

"Trying to say?" she scoffed. "I'm not saying anything Bella, it's you who thinks we have this long standing rivalry. Just stop being such a petty little bitch for a second and really think about it. Do you really think you matter to me that much? It's not like I've ever done anything to you Bella." Rosalie insisted, her fingers distractedly returning to that irritating drumming.

Knowing she was losing whatever battle this was, Bella snapped back with the only evidence she ever had of a silent vendetta.

"Oh really? So you didn't happen to send me a video of you and Alice fucking my boyfriend?"

Rosalie's smile started out as just a twitch, but as it grew to turn all of her features in a delighted sneer; Bella knew this was what she'd been hoping for all along.

The words fell from her lips with smug laughter, "Oh Bella, Bella, Bella. That was just so heartbreaking for you wasn't it? Tell me, did you watch it all the way through to the end, did you see the smile on his face as he fucked us both? As he came inside your sister?"

The thought was repulsive and instinctively Bella did the only thing she could; she laughed. It started out as a bitter attempt to show Rosalie that she couldn't hurt her with Jacob anymore, but as the sound filled the room, she knew it was coming out as something maniacal. She simply didn't possess the weapons to fight with someone who had no soul.

"Nice try Bella, you always were so easy to read. Did you ever wonder if that was why Edward kissed Alice instead? Because love sick cowards just don't do it for him?"

"Probably." Bella shrugged, trying to fake it even though she hadn't exactly found peace with Edward's rejection.

"But I like to think from his recent choice in women, I dodged a pretty huge bullet. So for that, I thank you Rosalie." It wasn't the finest insult she'd ever hurled, but it still felt good to not be on the firing line.

"And back we go again. Circles Bella, it always comes back to me doesn't it? Tell me, why are so obsessed? When you're Mom left was that my fault? Or what about the fact that you're such a freak you don't have one single friend? Let me guess; that's my fault too isn't it? God, don't you get sick of yourself? Always blaming someone else?"

Tiring of the cycle of insults, Bella laid back, her head pounding with pain. She knew it looked like she was surrendering, but it was easier to think this way.

"So let me get this straight. You fully admit you fucked my boyfriend, on purpose no less, but yet you're trying to tell me you're the innocent one in all this?" Bella asked, her eyes closed.

"Nope. Not innocent. Like I said before, I'm not trying to tell you anything Bella, I don't care what you think of me. After all you're not so different are you? I knew when Ali told me she'd seen you that something was up and you've all but confirmed for me you had you're sticky little hands all over her relationship with Jasper. But you don't really think it matters do you? You didn't think Alice actually cared for him did you?"

The words teased her thoughts and though Bella had suspected it, she couldn't help but believe Rosalie as it confirmed her worst fears; she'd done all of this for nothing.

"In fact maybe I should be thanking you Bella. After all if I'm right and you did have something to do with them breaking you, then the only person you did manage to hurt was Jasper and really, who gives a fuck about him?"

Guilt enveloped her, and though she knew Rosalie was winning, she wasn't sure if she could fight any longer.

"What do you want Rosalie?" she spoke, so softly the room seemed to still.

Rose clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and Bella waited, time enveloping her in a haze she wouldn't be able to resist for long. Pushing aside her sleepiness, Bella opened her eyes to see Rosalie smiling softly down at her cell phone, the fragility of her features astounding her when she knew what kind of woman was trapped within.

"Well I'm getting sleepy. But if me being pathetic, you being a bitch and Alice being _far _more manipulative than I ever gave her credit for are the bullet points, then I think we're done. Don't you?"

Her golden hair whirled freely around her as she lifted her head to catch Bella staring. Her eyes danced in delight as she nodded. "Excellent Bella and it only took you ten years to catch on, I think that deserves a pat on the back, don't you?"

Well versed in sarcasm, Bella returned the smile dripping in false intentions.

"You still haven't told me what you did to break up Alice and Jasper." Rosalie pointed out absently, her eyes and fingers consumed by her cell phone.

Thinking it through she couldn't decide if honesty really was the best policy, but knowing it would irritate Rosalie more, she merely shrugged her shoulders and upped the volume on her smile.

"You don't have anything I need Rosalie, not one single thing, so why should I tell you anything? Especially when really, if you think about, it's you who has everything to lose. Now let me see, if I was you and I'd somehow managed to hide the fact I was heartless bitch long enough for someone to actually marry me, I don't think I'd be so eager for him to find out the truth, do you?"

Smiling deviously, Bella raised one eyebrow at Rosalie.

"What makes you think he doesn't know everything?" She countered, lacking her usual acidity.

Shrugging once again, Bella nestled back down in her pillows, knowing that even though she was walking away as the victor, it certainly didn't feel like it.

"Now I suggest you fuck off Rosalie Cullen, go kick a puppy or whatever it is you do with your spare time." Bella sighed, a little surprised to see Rosalie stand so easily.

Just as she was about to bask in her achievement, Rosalie didn't head for the door as she'd expected, instead she took the two steps to stand over Bella's bed. The position she was in highlighted just how weak Bella was right now and as Rosalie leaned over in dominance, a wickedness flashing in her eyes, her lips raised into a monstrous smile.

"I don't know what you did Bella, but you bet you're fucking life, I will find out. Whatever game you're playing, whatever you think you're going to achieve, just remember you might have Alice fooled, but I see right through that innocent little facade of yours. Oh and just a little word of advice, you stay away from Edward. If I even hear your name on his lips, you're going to look back on the last ten years as paradise. I know you Isabella, I know what makes you tick and don't think for a second that I don't know how to destroy you as well, you and your precious little career."

Standing up, Rosalie's face transformed back into that relaxed all American girl who sparkled from behind a lens.

"Night sweetie, hope you feel better." She gushed as she strode away, leaving Bella to feel a chill settle over her.

Laying there trying to process what had occurred between them, Bella couldn't decide whether she'd done the right thing. Obviously she'd both under and overestimated Rosalie's threat level, but if what she'd said was the truth, perhaps she'd been too eager to lay blame at her door.

Even though she desperately fought to stay awake, sleep took her and with it she was filled with haunting dreams, dreams in which she and Alice were one and the same.

Sitting bolt upright she cried out in distress. Locking her eyes shut against the wave after wave of intense pain, she felt tears stream down her cheeks. As she gasped loudly, dragging air into her broken body, a pair of warm hands rubbed her back, willing her to calm.

"Shush B, I'm here now." Over and over they repeated the words, until she could finally bring herself to open her eyes again. The room looked different and she wondered if it was the daylight streaming through the window, but then her eyes landed on a big glass bowl, a single solitary orange occupant swimming back and forth.

The voice, which had been forgotten, spoke once again and Bella raised her eyes to see Leah's glossy dark hair flash over her shoulder.

"Jasper brought that by this morning, he said you needed company. Oh and he left this for you." Handing over a little white card with her name on it. Bella turned it slowly, noticing how nice his softly sloping cursive writing was;

_Bella_

_I meant what I said yesterday.  
_

_I know you had a rough night, but maybe this little fella can put a smile on your face. _

_I'll be by to see you later, in the meantime get some rest.  
_

_J  
_

Bella was enraptured, reading the card over and over again. Did he know about Rosalie's visit?

"I'm sorry I wasn't here B, but the Doc says you're doing well. You were very lucky." Leah rambled, not even stopping to take a breath. Bella decided she was nervous.

"Yeah I keep hearing that." she retorted, unable to keep the ungrateful snap from her tone.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that and you know it." Leah chastised, bringing Bella down from her cloud of self-pity.

"I'm gonna go let the nurse know you're up and then when they're done with all their tests, you and I are going to have a nice little chat." Sending her a pointed look over her shoulder, Bella sighed, not knowing how many more 'chats' she had in her.

The nurse was in and out in barely ten minutes and the welcome relief Bella had found flitted away. Leah sat down in the chair of doom, as Bella tried to swallow away her apprehension.

"So, you want to explain to me what happened between you and Jasper? I tried to call you the day after the ball, but then you already know that don't you? I go away for three weeks and find out you're in hospital, Jasper's a wreck and according to Sam, Alice is on the verge of boiling a few bunnies." Leah smiled, but neither of them found it particularly amusing.

Thinking of where to start, Bella decided to go down the traditional route, the beginning.

"Well, the night of the ball I was really drunk, too drunk to be making any life altering decision. But like I said, drunk, so that didn't seem to enter my head so much at the time. Anyway, Jasper and I, well, I ended up sleeping with him." Pausing to take a breath, Leah jumped in.

"Let's get some clarification here, we aren't talking a nice fuzzy preteen nap are we? You fucked him?"

Bella shook her head and continued on. "Yep, there was nothing fuzzy or preteen about it. Anyway, after that everyone seemed to fall off the radar; you, Jasper, Alice. I hadn't heard from anyone until last week when Jasper decided to just drop by my apartment for a chat."

"Oh my god are you serious? What did you guys talk about? Obviously it went well if he's bringing you pets!" Leah gushed; far too excited over something she hadn't even had a chance to explain yet.

"Actually we didn't really talk at all. I had Peter, one of my colleagues over, and well, they did most of the talking. It just, well, it wasn't the right time to have that kind of conversation. Which pretty much brings us to yesterday when Rosalie was stalking me outside my office building and well, this was the end result."

"Wait a minute, Rosalie did this to you?" Leah gasped, her eyes opening comically wide.

"No, she was all but chasing me down the street when she threatened to call me out in front of everyone. I wasn't thinking and yeah, she was there, but this is all my fault." Bella waved her undamaged hand over her body indicating her meaning.

"Okay, but what about Alice and Jasper? What happened to them?" Leah inquired, leaning forward, her elbows resting on the tips of her knees.

"You know more than I do from the sounds of it. Jasper came by yesterday and told me they'd broken up, but he didn't seem particularly eager to share, so I didn't get anymore out of him than that," she said, feeling very exposed in her weaknesses.

Even though Leah hadn't asked for it, she paused thinking about whether she should tell her about Rosalie's impromptu visit, but before she could decide, Leah was filling her mind with information.

"Yep, I definitely know more than you…." Leah eyes glittered with excitement. "Jasper broke up with Alice. He didn't tell her about you, I don't think he told her much of anything actually, but apparently she's broken into his house twice since. Jasper wasn't in town, so the second time when the neighbors called the cops, Sam had to go over there and deal with it. He didn't even know they'd broken up, so he got them to back off and let Alice in. But he's feeling pretty guilty since she all but ransacked the place, Emily says Alice is obsessed and completely convinced she's going to get him back."

Bella's mind was filled with questions, but the one that left her mouth was quite probably the least important; "Emily?"

Leah sat back, giving her a weird look before answering politely. "Sam's girlfriend. Seriously, is that all you have to say?"

Thinking it over, she decided it wasn't worth holding anything back at this point. "Actually no, I was just thinking about something Rosalie said. She showed up here last night, or at least I think she did, these pain meds have got me pretty messed up. Anyway, she all but said Alice didn't give a damn about Jasper, about anyone actually…" Bella trailed off, wondering if maybe Rosalie had actually been telling the truth.

"You're not starting to make excuses for her are you?" Leah asked, her voice full of sincerity.

But Bella didn't have an answer for her.

"Don't beat yourself up over it Bella, Jasper's a big boy, he knew what he was doing." she commented, cutting into Bella's thoughts. Not being able to leave her with that misapprehension, she finally let Leah in.

"But he didn't Leah. He was drunk, so drunk he'd passed out and I'm not saying I forced myself on him or anything like it, but when we were done he called me Alice. He thought I was her. How can you call that fair?" Bella implored, hoping her friend would be able to quell her guilt.

Sighing, Leah sat back in her chair, pulling her legs up underneath her.

"Wow. I'm sorry B. What did he say to you yesterday?"

Pulling together her memories, she attempted to explain to Leah her dilemma. "He apologized, told me he'd taken advantage of me and God, Leah, I let him believe it was true. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him what I'd done, what I'd been planning all along. I know it's my own fault and I started the whole thing, but I don't think I ever planned on having sex with him."

Hearing the words, Bella knew they were true. She'd been too caught up in how it would end, to think about how it could begin.

"To be honest I didn't either, but there's no point getting all worked up about it now B. It's done. Now you just need to figure out what you want to do next?" Leah pushed, but Bella wasn't willing to follow.

"No I don't. Rosalie was right; the only person I've ended up hurting is Jasper. I think I need to tell him the truth."

"No!" Leah all but shouted out, earning a concerned look from Bella.

"You can't do that. Look, I know it's really selfish of me, but the last thing I want is Jasper running back to Alice, or her finding out about this and it being the thing which pushes them back together. I know it's unfair of me to ask, but can we keep this whole thing between us?"

Bella turned to see Leah silently begging her. Knowing she was the only person she really had in the world who understood her emotional dilemma, she conceded. "Fine. I deserve it anyway. Rosalie was right, I'm no better than them."

Wallowing in a new bout of self pity, Bella closed her eyes, begging for one of either her mind or body to recover so she could at least have a reprieve from all the pain.

"Bella? What are you going to do about Alice?"

The question filled the air and the very simple answer was, she didn't know. She'd started playing a puzzle when half of the pieces were missing and only now she'd set aside her hurt pride could she see how foolish that had been. Rosalie had given her plenty to consider, but maybe, she thought, it was finally time to just let the whole thing go.

"Bella, you at least need to talk to her. I know you might want to bury your head in the sand right now, but how long until this is driving you crazy again? You don't just decide to ruin your sisters life for no reason and the guilt you're feeling now isn't going to hang around forever."

It was sensible advice but Bella didn't want to hear it yet.

"I get it Leah. I'm just as fucked up as she is. But I can't help it, the thought of even being in the same room as her makes me want to scratch my own eyes out. Yeah, they broke up, but maybe Rosalie wasn't lying, maybe Alice is just too far gone to care about anything anymore."

When she opened her eyes it was to find Leah looking at her a little harshly. "Wow. Rosalie really did a number on you didn't she? No matter what you decide Bella, do it on your own terms, don't let her manipulate you."

Sighing, she knew this wasn't a problem that she could resolve in a day. In fact, she wasn't sure if it could be resolved at all.

"Why don't you just work on getting better and then when you get out of here we'll figure something out. In the meantime, please be nice to Jasper, he might have hurt you Bella but he's not _that _guy."

Opening her mouth to let her know for certain he hadn't hurt her, Leah held up her hand, three cryptic words dropping from her tongue; "Are you sure?"

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**a/n: Next update is looking like midweek. **

**Thank you to all of you who are reading/reviewing. I hope all your dreams are filled with your very own yummy Jasper... x**

**Oh, oh! *waves hand around a little too eagerly, trying to get your attention* I keep meaning to say. This whole story is inspired by the song What About Love by Heart. It's a crazy great power ballad that makes me sing along in my car like a squawking seagull... I just thought you might like to know... the inspiration part - not the seagull!  
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	18. Irrational

**a/n: A big thanks to Twiticulate for being so betalicious and also to Liamsgurl33 for taking time out of her life to preread this for me. As always, any and all errors are mine to own.  
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Five days was a long time to be trapped inside a small room. It was just long enough to question every choice she'd made and not quite long enough to decide how wrong or right each one had been.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, her left leg swung back and forth, a physical manifestation of her growing nerves. She'd listened to Leah, even gone so far as to agree with her whole-heartedly. Initially she'd resolutely decided that the decision was right; Jasper was better off without her sister and that certainly meant keeping her mouth shut. But the days had been long, the nights even longer, and after hours of nothing but whirling thoughts, her mind had been made another way.

The clock ticked down the seconds and the balmy sweat on the palm of her one good hand left a barely visibly streak on the white cotton sheets. She didn't know if what she was doing was right, and if she was being honest, neither did she care.

A nurse walked past the open doorway, close enough that Bella's eyes raised, her heartbeat lifted in sure apprehension, but then she kept on walking. Bella worked to contain herself once again. It wasn't good to be so jumpy, she thought, but she couldn't manage much more control over her faculties than what she was already exerting.

"She's in here honey. I can't believe it. You just look so alike…" Bella squirmed listened to the approaching conversation, knowing who, and what, it would entail. Lifting her head up to face the doorway, she plastered on her best smile, hoping Alice wouldn't sense her unease.

"And I thought I'd seen it all, but two of you, and so beautiful. I'm glad my husband isn't here to see this." The nurse gushed as she entered, not noticing the way the room had stilled around her.

Bella watched Alice as she stepped cautiously into the room, standing awkwardly against the wall instead of sitting on the chair that Bella herself dreaded. Both women waited patiently for the nurse to leave, but even long after she'd departed they both remained silent statues.

Steadily Bella's eyes trailed over Alice's frame, the oversized sweater, which she had an inkling might belong to Jasper, dwarfing her frame. Her cheeks looked gaunt, pulled tight against her high cheekbones, but it was only the wild darting gaze in her eyes that gave Bella cause for concern,

"So you wanted to see me?" Alice asked, her tone low and almost imperceptible from it's small volume.

The lack of sentiments was a little surprising and while Bella knew the bruises weren't so angry anymore, they were still shocking in the amount of skin they covered.

"Oh I'm fine Alice, thanks for asking." It was poor form to be so sarcastic, but Bella couldn't help herself. The friendly façade she'd once thought was the answer had been deliberately and openly tossed aside.

Alice opened her mouth to say something, but as Bella watched and waited, she closed it again. Deciding against voicing whatever it was on her mind.

"Rosalie came to see me." Bella began, looking for any reaction. But none was forthcoming, so she continued. "She had a lot to say. Left me with quite a few things to think about."

Seeing a little flash of interest in Alice's eyes, Bella heard Rosalie's words repeat through her mind. Was Alice really the manipulator behind everything?

"Did she tell you I was in here?" she questioned, noting how Alice's fingers were worrying away the edge of her sweater.

"Because I think it's just a little strange, don't you, that you haven't been to see me?" Bella didn't smile this time, didn't offer anything for her sister to misconstrue.

The friendly little mask that Alice often wore was nowhere in sight and Bella decided right there and then, that Rosalie hadn't been lying after all.

"Well Rosie said you were fine and I've been dealing with some stuff. I knew you'd understand."

Her answer was so appallingly pathetic that Bella didn't quite know what to do with it. "Stuff?" she asked, keeping the smile from her voice that was brewing on the inside. Stuff, had to mean Jasper and from the looks of it she wasn't dealing particularly well at all.

"Oh, well, it's nothing to worry about really. Jasper just made a mistake that's all. We're working it out"

Bella couldn't decide who she was trying to convince. But it was interesting how she was interpreting the entire situation.

"Oh, so it was nothing then? Nothing, that kept you from coming to see me yourself?" she persisted, watching Alice squirm a little under her own admittance.

"Look Bella. What do you want? I'm not feeling too well and this just isn't a good time. Did you ask me here just to make me feel bad?" Alice sighed, her tone full of defeat.

"I want to know why you fucked Jacob?" Bella stated, feeling the rush of adrenaline at finally saying the words. Asking the question that had haunted her for the past six years.

Her response wasn't forthcoming, but Bella was willing to wait forever for this. Alice's eyes lifted to meet her sister's, then fell back to the floor again. Her hand suddenly stopped fumbling with the edge of her sweater and Bella felt a chill run down her spine as Alice began to laugh.

It was a slow and soft sound, but the eerie control it held left Bella cold. "Is that why you called me? Seriously?" Their eyes locked.

The cold glare she'd been wearing washed away and in it's place was a look of defeat. The problem was Bella couldn't decide which one was the true expression.

"Fine, if you really want to know. I did it for you. I was fed up with him coming on to me and I thought if I finally gave him what he wanted, he'd leave me alone. I was doing you a favor Bella."

She'd expected, possibly, some heartfelt apology, maybe a little pleading, but this was simply astounding. Shaking her head, Bella tried to clear her thoughts.

"You did it for me?" Bella asked, her voice full of indignation.

Alice looked a little bored as she started to pick at her nails. "That's what I just said isn't it?"

"And the video?" she asked, not sure if she really wanted to hear the answer, not from this callous unfeeling version of her sister.

"Well, would you have really believed me if I told you what he was like? As soon as you were out of the room, he wouldn't leave me alone. After what happened with Edward, it was the only way. The only way you'd believe me." There was no apology hidden in her words or her voice. For Alice this was obviously the truth she was comfortable with.

Looking at her sister, Bella couldn't recognize any of the person she used to be.

"And who's idea was it to do this favor for me?" Bella asked, knowing she desperately wanted the answer to be Rosalie. But she didn't get anything, only a little shrug of her shoulders.

"But don't you see Belly, I did it for you. He wasn't good enough for you. I don't understand why you can't see that. Anyway, you didn't really love him. Did you?" Her heartfelt honesty, the look of sincerity in her eye was almost too much and while Bella had a desperate urge to kick her out, she forced herself to stay calm. Looking at the clock, she knew it wouldn't be long now.

Trying to piece together what she knew of this Alice, she couldn't decide what the truth was. Maybe she wasn't lying about him coming on to her, but it didn't really matter anymore. There was simply no justification for what had come after.

"And now you've decided to forgive me and we can go back to the way we were. We can forget all about that silly little incident and move on. Can't we?"

Something in Alice's deep insistence didn't seem quite right. Bella couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but a deep distinctly ominous feeling spread through her gut.

"Bella?" Finally, she thought, her head turning to see Jasper standing in the doorway, his eyes slowly moving from Alice to her. His expression was anything but happy.

"Jasper! What are you doing here?" Alice asked, her voice changing from the emotionless drone she'd been with Bella, to her usual perky self.

"Oh Bella, you did this didn't you? You did this for me because you knew how much I needed to talk to him." Even as her eyebrows drew down in confusion. Alice just kept on gushing her thanks. "I knew it. I knew you still cared about me."

Bella tried to keep her triumphant smile from her face, because although this wasn't what she had planned, it was almost better.

"Jasper. I just need a minute, one minute and I can explain everything. I'll make everything right again." Stepping towards him with her palms outstretched, Bella cringed to see her sister so weak, so pathetic.

"Alice. I'm not here to see you. There's nothing you can say that will make a difference. Bella, are you ready?" He sidestepped an incoming Alice and looked over her shoulder to Bella, who was sitting silently, happily watching her sister fall apart in front of her.

"No Jasper, that's not true. I'll do anything, anything! Just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it, I'll make it right."

Jasper looked down at her sister and for just a second Bella thought he might actually give in, that this whole thing might backfire. Desperate for that not to happen, she stepped in, literally.

Faking a little grunt of pain, Bella pulled herself to her feet, the feigned pain in her eyes meeting Jasper's at just the right moment. In a flash he was by her side, his arm wrapped around her to brace some of her weight. Leaning against him, although she knew she didn't need to, she watched as Alice's wild eyes, marked red with her pleading tears, flashed dangerously between the two of them.

"Jasper, what are you doing? Why are you touching _her?_" Alice's mind seemed to be whirling out of control as she stepped forward and tried to peel the two of them apart, her nails scratching at Jasper's shirt.

"Jasper? Please, just let Bella go and we'll talk. That's all we need. We just need to sit down and talk, like we used to." Her pitch had turned high and frantic and for once Bella didn't hold back her smile. Didn't try to stop her true emotions from escaping.

"Alice. You need to stop!" Jasper's voice was firm, his words a hard command. But Alice was simply too far-gone, too lost in her own abject agony.

Her hands became frantic, beating against his chest, her blows coming hard and fast, hitting anything within reach. Jasper appeared almost unfazed by her attack, but when a blow came close to hitting Bella, his body snapped forward, placing himself in front of her.

"Alice. If you don't calm down, I'll have to get someone to do it for you."

Her blows didn't stop and just as Bella thought Jasper might cave against her wild persistence, a nurse appeared in the doorway.

Chaos erupted and before Bella could really believe it was happening, Alice was being pulled away, her feet kicking as her whole body wriggled like a feral serpent, her screams high and tortured. Bella's heart was pounding ferociously and as she shuffled backwards to escape the three men who were trying to subdue her sister, an evil sense of triumph overcame her. Rosalie had been wrong after all. Alice did care for someone; she cared for him very much.

As her wailing echoed down the endless corridor, she became aware of just how stifling the silence now was in her tiny prison. Jasper was kneeling on the floor, holding a hand to his lip, which came back smeared with blood.

"Jasper?" she didn't know how he would react to her. After several moments of continued silence, she rested her palm down softly on his shoulder, fearing his rejection, knowing he might not want a visual reflection of the past few minutes.

"Let's go." Two words, spoken almost effortlessly, but the lack of tone, the lack of emotion, rattled all the way down to her gut.

He didn't coddle her as they walked into the bustling hallway and neither did he complain about her slow pace. Both were lost in the cavern of their thoughts, until finally they were alone again, trapped in the claustrophobic capsule of his truck.

But he didn't start the engine, and neither did he say a word. Bella turned to face him. At some point he had thrown his head back and closed his eyes. Watching him so openly, she was a little amazed by how handsome she found him. The guilt that had been filtering away from her returned with a vengeance. She had done this to him. It was quickly becoming her only regret.

Feeling like she owed him something, she opened her mouth and out poured far more than she ever intended to say.

"When we were little I used to think I couldn't survive without her by my side. We were so close, especially after our Mom left us. Charlie was pretty useless, so in a lot of ways Ali looked after us both. She dressed me, did my hair, she pretty much controlled everything really. In a lot of ways it was a pretty unhealthy relationship, but I've never actually met another pair of twins, so I don't know how normal it was or not." Bella shrugged, but with his eyes still closed he didn't see the gesture. "Then when we hit high school, Charlie had a word with the Principal to make sure we had separate classes. I can't believe it now, but I cried for days, knowing I was going to be alone. He was right to do it. I can see that now, but at the time I thought he was punishing us; I told him he couldn't understand what it was like for us." Letting out a little wry laugh, she paused, but he still wasn't offering her anything. "It didn't take long for us to make new friends and I think that's when I started to pull away. We stopped dressing like each other. It's crazy to think that we were still doing that when we were fourteen, no wonder Charlie thought we needed some space from each other. Anyway, by the time Rosalie arrived during our Senior year, Alice was already one of the most popular girls in the school. She was dating football players, while I was hanging out on the edges pining after Edward Cullen."

Just saying the words aloud, she felt slightly better and as Jasper's eyes snapped open, she laughed again. "Yep, the same one." He seemed amused by her choice and just seeing his mood shift gave her the courage to continue. "I was crazy about him. I'm not just talking a mini crush either, but head over heels. Anyway, he was completely oblivious and then he developed this thing for Alice. I mean all the guys did, so I shouldn't have been surprised, but well yeah, there you go."

The glint in his eyes softened to something that looked almost like pity. She didn't like it at all.

"Edward's a dick." He stated, drawing a smile from her lips. "Well he wasn't back then, he was a really nice guy." She retorted defensively.

He shook his head. "He's a dick. Trust me." The words were said with such surety that she found herself believing them.

"Anyway, I was pretty devastated and at the time I thought maybe Alice just didn't understand how much I liked him. I made so many excuses for her, but now I don't think she was naïve to any of it. I think she always knew what she was doing." Even though she'd left out the most significant portion of her history with Alice, it felt right that she'd at least shared something with him.

Sitting there feeling exposed, she waited for some kind of response from Jasper, but he was simply staring out of the window. What he was looking for she couldn't discern.

"There's something you need to know Bella. About Alice." He said, still not meeting her gaze. "She's not well and I don't think she has been for awhile. I promised her I wouldn't say anything to you, but after today I don't think that matters anymore." He stopped talking and Bella wanted to shake him, to rattle to words out of him. But she forced the urge down; the only sign of her impatience was her tapping foot. "I met her a few years ago through Rose and I have to admit I was crazy about her. She just walked right up to me and told me we were meant to be together. I think most guys would've freaked out, but there was just something about her. Anyway we started dating, and things were going great, but I started working away a lot. Anyway. She got really possessive and jealous and well, we broke up. It was really rough and she made some threats, but a few months later she told me she'd gone to therapy, figured out her issues. It took a while but we got back together and then we moved here. I don't know if maybe I never quite trusted her again, or if I knew she was only putting it on for me. The point is Bella; I think she might be dangerous. And if that's the case then you need to keep your distance."

His eyes finally met hers and the emotion filling them was heart breaking. "I'm sorry Jasper, but I understand. I'll stay away from you, from both of you." She concluded, looking anywhere but at him.

"Hey. No, that's not what I meant. I mean you need to stay away from Alice. If she finds out about you and I, about what happened. I don't know what she'd do."

His advice was fairly unnecessary as she had absolutely no intention of being around Alice ever again. Unless another opportunity arose to push her buttons, then she might make an exception. She was about to verbally confirm her intentions, but at that moment Jasper flicked his wrist. The truck roared to life and the earsplitting country music, she recalled from their last road trip, came back at her full force.

He knew where she lived. After insisting he drive her home, a devilish plan had formed and it had been far too good an opportunity to resist. Worth her sacred privacy; and while her sole intent for moving had been to bring back her isolation, strangely it didn't feel like such an invasion anymore. Winding through the streets, she held on tight to her seat. Although Jasper was driving far more cautiously than he had the last time, she was still so aware of every twist and turn.

As they pulled in to her parking garage, she didn't feel that familiar twinge of coming home. "Alright, let's get you upstairs." Jasper prompted, sliding himself out of the truck. He jogged around to her door and though he opened it and held out his hand to help, he didn't make her feel incapable. He'd parked conveniently close to the elevators, so even though they weren't breaking any limits with their speed, it wasn't long before she turning the key to her new home.

Bella shuffled down the entryway, her mouth dropping open not to see the pile of boxes she rightly expected.

"Surprise!" Came a chorus of two, Paul and Leah jumping out from behind her sofa. Her heart pounded in her chest as her eyes darted over everything, all of her belongings laid out to absolute perfection.

"But how?" She asked, her left hand grasping onto the nearby wall for support.

"Well, Leah did all the girly shit, but J and I spent all of yesterday being her bitches. I can't tell you how heavy that fucking bed is of yours Bell, so I'm not kidding around when I tell you that you're buying the beers."

"Paul!" Leah chastised loudly, smacking his arm, which he pretended to rub dramatically.

"Are you kidding? I'll buy you all the beer you can drink. You guys did all of this? I just… wow. I can't believe it. I don't know what to say." Bella's words were awed and as she looked over everything in appreciation, she couldn't believe they had done this for her. It was another worry which she could mentally check off, after all there was no way in hell she could have accomplished this in a week, let alone a day.

"So. Leah said you'd probably want to take it easy for tonight, but tomorrow we're going out and I'm keeping you to that promise missy." Paul said, all but ruffling her hair with enthusiasm. "I can't wait for you to meet Rachel." He added, before throwing himself down on the sofa, grabbing a remote and turning her television to a sports news feed.

"Who's Rachel?" Bella asked innocently, not noticing the way Jasper reflexively stepped closer to her, wrapping his arm around her middle. Leah noted the movement without a word, but she did offer an answer to Bella's question. "Rachel is Paul's, well, am I allowed to say the word girlfriend, Paul?" She turned to him, waiting for her question to be answered, but he simply shrugged, obviously not caring either way. "Okay, well then, she's his girlfriend."

As Jasper squeezed Bella's waist, she looked to see his intention. His eyes were cautious, questioning almost and it clicked. He was still stuck on the page where Bella was unrequitedly adoring his best friend. Throwing him one of her best smiles, she spoke up again. "Well that sounds like fun. Hey I can be the designated driver, if anyone's brave enough to let me borrow their car." She joked, slightly lifting her right hand, wrapped in a brace, hanging from a sling.

"Uh huh. No way. Never gonna happen." Jasper responded, moving away from her, palms in the air as if she might be contagious.

It was strange seeing him so carefree, Bella thought. Especially when only an hour or so ago, he was being physically attacked by her sister.

True to their word, barely ten minutes later she was alone, running her fingers along the wall as she slowly made her way through the rooms. It was unbelievable how much effort Leah must have gone to, after all the apartment wasn't small and her belongings were many.

Laying down on the sofa, she convinced herself she was only going to shut her eyes for a second, but when she woke from something external infiltrating her dreams; the apartment was dark. Only the lights of the city beneath laid a soft glow around her. Realizing the foreign sound was in fact real, she struggled to her feet, careful to keep her stitched up leg straight.

Remembering how she'd asked Jasper to leave her bags and oversized goldfish bowl on the kitchen table, she shuffled in that direction. The tinny music was muffled, but she would know her cell phone if it rang from the depths of the ocean. Rummaging a little clumsily through her bag, her fingers finally found her lifeline. The ringing had stopped but the phone was ablaze with messages. Seven missed calls, all from the same number. Pulling up her voicemail, she brought the phone to her ear hesitantly.

"_Bella, I can't believe what you did for me today. It was so nice of you. Anyway, I think I might need a favor Belly. I just a need a couple minutes with Jasper, just one, or at the most, two. If you can make him see me again, I know he'll understand the mistake he's made. He won't be happy without me Belly, he just won't. You know that don't you? Anyway, when you get this call me back."_

It was the first of five messages and as she listened to each, anxiety pushed her blood like lightening through her veins. Each message became more desperate and frantic. But it was the certainty in Alice's voice, the quiet insistence that he would never be able to survive without her, followed by bouts of obsequious pleas; that truly had Bella worried. Maybe Jasper was right, maybe Alice really wasn't well at all.

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**a/n: Can't promise because the rest of the week is looking a little crazy. But my aim for the next update is Sunday. **

**Thanks to all who are reading along with me, you rock my furry socks.  
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	19. Ideopraxist

**a/n: A huge big thank you to my beta Twiticulate. I am so glad she's a part of this fic, because not only does she rock my furry socks, but she also rocks happy clams and countries that begin with the letter A...because frankly, she's.. Just. That. Awesome**

**To my lovely pre-reader Liamsgurl33. Thank you for your time and thoughts hun. Can't wait for you to read the next one :)**

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The calls continued on through the night and eventually Bella had to turn her phone off, as each new message became more frantic and desperate than the last.

By the time Leah came to pick her up the following night, she had a full voicemail box; her hair styled to cover the majority of the bruises and cuts on her face, and a wide smile on her lips.

"Hey B. You look great. How's the leg?" Leah asked, noticing Bella had managed to wrap herself up in a pair of loose boyfriend cut jeans. But Bella was in too high spirited a mood to bring herself down with the doom and gloom of her injuries, so she sent back an offhanded "fine", waving her left hand dismissively.

"Are you ready to go? Demetri's waiting for us downstairs. The boys said they'll meet us there." Leah said eagerly, obviously desperate to get going as she stood expectantly, barely two feet into the entrance hall. Happy to get on with the night, Bella made her way towards Leah, grabbing her purse as she went. "Okay, well let's get the hell on with it then."

As she walked past Leah, out in to the entrance hall, Bella didn't catch the amused look on her face, nor the point when it turned into a huge grin. "Well okay then!"

Bella's mood was contagious and by the time they reached the black car idling on the curb, both were laughing loudly as Bella attempted a one handed impression of Alice's breakdown in the hospital.

"Oh my God, I so wish I'd been there. I can't believe she did that!" Leah managed to get out between breaths. Bella thought about sharing the voicemails with Leah, but then decided against it. While the first one would probably add to the current jovial atmosphere, by the twelfth they were just down right creepy. No, she was saving them for someone else entirely.

"I can't believe you instigated that! And after you promised me you wouldn't let him know about PB&J." Leah smirked, but Bella could tell she was serious.

"Leah, I would tell you I'm sorry, but I have to say I probably wouldn't mean it. The most I can offer you is I won't do it again. After all Alice would probably just say I slept with him to do her a favor or something." Bella said half joking, hoped it would be enough. When Leah simply bypassed her new resolution, she decided it had been accepted.

"So what did Jasper do?" Leah asked, her whole body turning to take in Bella as she spoke.

"Nothing actually. I kind of got the impression it wasn't the first time she'd done something like that. Or he was just too shocked to react, it was hard to tell with all those fists flying." Bella offered. She tried to downplay the truth; that she quite often found herself incapable of reading him.

They had only been in the car for a little under five minutes when she felt her body creep forward, a sure indication they were coming to a stop. It was still light out and while she recognized the street, the little bar wasn't one she'd been to before.

It was darker inside than she'd expected and as her eyes adjusted from the evening air outside, she saw that the room was decidedly more worn and weathered than the clean and sharp lines she associated with Leah.

"Where did you find this place?" she asked intrigued, as Leah waved to one of the bartenders. She appeared entirely at ease.

"Oh, it's run by one of Sam's old friends, Jared. The boys know him too. Come on I'll introduce you." Leah insisted, while grabbing Bella's good arm, looping it around her own.

"Hey Leah, how goes it?" The bartender asked, his smile wide and his eyes friendly. Bella decided he looked just a little like Paul, with his dark hair and imposing height, just not quite as handsome. His gaze skipped from Leah to Bella, widened very obviously and then wandered back to Leah again, a question poised heavily in the air.

"Jared, close your mouth. This is Bella, not Alice." Leah pulled her forward as she said her name, then jumped up onto one of the barstools, leaving Bella to struggle a little as she propped herself up on another.

"Wow. That's crazy, I knew you were twins and I heard you looked alike, but that's just…wow." His eyes scanned as much of her as he could see and while normally just being compared to Alice would have brought bile to her throat, she was simply in too good of a mood to respond with anything but good humor.

Stepping back, she twirled in a neat little circle, then stepped up close to the bar. "I promise you, apart from this, there's very little similar about us." She said, waving her left hand showing she meant her physical form.

He laughed, but she could tell he still felt awkward about being so obvious and for a sadistic moment she thought about consoling him by offering just how minor his slip was compared to the error Jasper had made, but of course, she didn't. His eyes were still taking each chance they could to look her over, until finally Leah stepped in.

"Jesus fucking Christ Jared. Have you never seen twins before?" She said, leaning over to thump him on his arm.

"Yeah, sorry. So what can I get you both? On the house." He asked, in an obvious attempt to move things in the right direction.

Leah ordered a cocktail, and just as the Doctor had recommended, Bella opted for a nice, safe, sparkling water.

"Hey Jared, my man!" A booming voice called from across the bar, announcing Paul's arrival.

Swiveling her body around, Bella watched as he languid strode towards them, overtly pleased to see them all. His confidence enveloped her and without realizing it, her shoulders began to lose that rigidly set pose.

"So, where's Rachel?" Leah asked, as Paul released her from his exuberant arms.

"Oh, she's coming; she's just finishing a call or something." He replied, completely unapologetic for rushing ahead of his date.

"Bella! I didn't think you'd have the guts to show…" Paul all but bounced up to her, grinning wildly. It took a couple further words of explanation for her to understand why. "Jared, my drinks are on this little lady right here. Isn't that right?" Remembering her promise to him yesterday, Bella nodded at Jared, receiving a raised eyebrow and a 'do you know what you've got yourself into' look in return.

"Yep. Just like I promised, all the beer you can drink." Now that they were actually in a bar, the idea didn't seem as flimsy as it had before, but she only entertained a fragment of panic at how much his huge frame could actually consume, before she was encapsulated in someone else entirely.

"J, fucking late as usual, that's fifty you owe me!" Paul jeered, not allowing Jasper to escape any attention, as he pulled some of the night's humidity into the bar with him.

Dressed in his usual jeans and scruffy t-shirt, he smiled easily as he bee-lined straight for their growing ensemble.

"The hell I do fucker, you still owe me for the Cubs game." Jasper said, challenging Paul to defy him.

"Fine, then, but this makes us even." A little of the gusto had floated from his sails, but it didn't take Paul long before he was up and running again, literally. As the door opened once again, his eyes lit up, and as Jasper greeted the girls, Paul was already striding across the bar.

"So that's Rachel?" Bella asked, noticing the way Jasper was watching her closely, probably for any signs of maudlin depression.

"Yep." Leah answered, in between sips of her pink drink.

"She kinda looks like someone." Bella offered, purposefully being vague, knowing damn sure who she meant. Looking over to Jasper, Bella noticed the smile he was trying to hide from Leah, as he winked at her.

Rachel looked for all intents and purposes, almost exactly like Leah. Her hair was a little longer and perhaps there were a few inches difference in height, but as Bella grinned at Jasper, she knew he saw it too.

"Really? She's pretty though, no?" Leah asked, completely oblivious to the amusement surrounding her.

"Umm yeah, if you like that kind of thing." Jasper replied, his tone nonchalant, as his eyes danced for Bella.

"Yeah, I guess she's okay." Bella afforded, catching a look of confusion from Leah, but a conspiratorial one from Jasper.

"Wow, I was sure you guys would agree with me. Don't tell Paul though, I think he's crazy about her."

As Leah took another sip of her drink, Bella tried not to giggle, but it was just too hard when Jasper was looking at her that way.

"Guys, this is Rachel. Rachel this is Jasper and Bella. You've already met Leah." Paul added, dismissively.

Jasper and Bella greeted her politely in turn, but Bella couldn't help but notice how the girl looked back and forth between them, her eyes lingering on the cleverly concealed side of Bella's face. News of her misstep had obviously traveled far.

"What am I? Invisible?" Came an insulted voice from behind, Jared's face an almost perfect impression of insulted, except for the twitches affecting the corners of his lips.

"What fucker? You think I want my girl to meet the staff?" Paul retorted, while walking around the other side of the bar and pulling Jared into a headlock, the two of them clowning around raucously.

"Okay, Okay, I give!" Paul cried from somewhere on the floor, brushing down his shirt as he stood back into view. "Rachel this is Jared, he owns this dump." He said, receiving a sharp fist to his bicep from Jared for his efforts.

"So what's a girl got to do around here to get a drink?" Rachel replied, looking two parts amused and one part bored, as she twirled her long sleek black hair around her finger. Bella and Jasper exchanged another childishly secret look between the two of them, as Leah watched on.

"What? What's going on with you two?" she asked, too nosey to allow private jokes within her vicinity. But the answer wasn't forthcoming and so she scuttled off sulkily, with the sole aim of finding out the raw and ruthless details of the Paul and Rachel romance.

"Ten says they hate each other by the end of the night." Jasper said, leaning into Bella's side so no one else would hear. He was looking over at Paul and Jared throwing around cocktail shakers behind the bar, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Looking over at Leah, who seemed to be interviewing Rachel rather than making her welcome, she reached her hand across to him. "Deal. Knowing Leah they'll be best friends. Just you wait Whitlock." The teasing tone was written all over her voice and as her eyes remained focused on the girls beyond, she saw him turn to take her in.

The bar was filled with the hum of light conversation and as Bella sipped her water, she tried not to feel Jasper's eyes watching her every move. "So, when does life start again for you?" He asked, earning him a polite; "Excuse me?"

"Work? When are you going back?" The tone of his voice seemed hard to her, judgmental even, but his eyes were friendly and open. Deciding she was simply being paranoid, she answered honestly. "Monday. I tried to tell Peter I would be back in today, but he said if I even so much as showed up to pick up my mail, he'd report me to HR. The doctors have signed me out, so it's not worth it. Seth promised to sneak me some manuscripts though." Bella said sadly, truly upset that she had found herself so restricted.

"Seth? Wow, I completely forgot he works for you. I bet you scare the fucking daylights out of him." He laughed, shaking his head as if this were the funniest thing.

"He's great actually. The best assistant I've had in well…" She was going to say three years, but something stopped her. "…ever." It was true, after his initial speed bumps he'd been efficient, diligent and comprehensively in-tune with her needs. Thinking all of this, she knew he deserved some sort of recognition, but with half the staff having only recently been made redundant, she would have to think of a less conventional way to reward him.

"Wow, seriously! Little Seth? I can't wait to hear what he says about you." Jasper added, his eyes sparkling with a devilish charm.

"I'm sure he'll tell you that I'm perfectly fair." Bella replied, although in reality she had no doubt he would be a little more expressive than that, but after hearing him tell Leah how much he loved working at the Publishing house, she was no longer going to judge his true opinion.

"Can I get you another…?" Jasper asked, looked at her glass, trying to figure out it's contents. She knew he was going to be disappointed by her response. "Oh, it's water. I did a little research yesterday, very very slow research. Anyway, it said that alcohol might slow down my healing and the sooner I can get this all behind me the better." She rambled on, wondering why she was suddenly feeling so verbose.

"Oh, okay, so another water then?"

"Thanks." She responded, as she watched his focus stray from her, as he laughed aloud at the idiocy of Paul and Jared; fooling around behind the bar.

"Bella? Come over and meet Rachel!" Leah shouted, even though she was barely ten feet away. Leaving her empty glass of water behind, she shuffled from her stool and walked to their table.

Taking an empty seat, Bella rearranged herself until she found a little comfort. "Paul said you took a pretty bad bang. You okay?" Rachel asked, her opening question not surprising Bella in the least.

"Oh yeah, I'll be fine. Nothing some stitches and a couple pins couldn't fix." Lifting up her hand, she smiled.

The seats around them filled pretty quickly and as the banter spilled around her and the beer flowed, she found herself joining in so effortlessly. Even after thinking so clearly about her desire to fit in, it didn't hinder her smile, or leave any moments of awkward tension for her to overanalyze later.

It was a great night, and with all great nights, it had to end. The table was strewn with empty bottles and glasses and a few of the bodies were swaying a little too violently for a Tuesday night.

"So, who needs a ride?" Leah asked, grinning openly to the table, the invite open to all. A chorus of 'yeahs' followed and jackets were replaced, as tools were pushed back noisily on the wooden floors.

A line of unsteady feet made their way to the door and just as the last of them disappeared into the night air, Bella tugged back on Jasper's arm.

"Bella?" The question was steady and she looked at him straight for just a few moments, trying to ascertain if now would be a good time. Seeing a healthy focus, she continued on.

"Umm, I need to talk to you about something. It's kind of important." But as the words fell quietly from her lips, she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Of course Bella. I'll can get Leah to drop me at yours. Or we can walk if you like; it's not too far." He said, looking down at her leg ensuring she knew it was entirely up to her.

"I'd actually really like to walk, if you don't mind the slow pace?" She posed it as a question, and he was immediately calling out across the sidewalk to a patiently waiting Leah. "Lee, we're gonna walk." Leah smiled goofily for a second and then seemed to catch herself, leaving only the memory of her smile and an energetic nod, as she slipped into the waiting car.

Bella hadn't been lying about the pace and as they watched the red tail lights fade away, she found a nice steady rhythm that wasn't too painful, for her or him.

"Jasper, I just, well there's two things really." Feeling suddenly apprehensive, the words didn't come out as succinctly as she intended them to, but she didn't feel embarrassed by that.

Chancing a look over at him, his eyes were asking her to continue. So as she spoke, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket. "I just thought you should know that Alice called me last night, more than once. She left a bunch of messages and I thought maybe you should listen to them. They're a little disconcerting." As the words tumbled out, she watched his eyebrows draw down in confusion, obviously having something to say.

"I'm sorry Bella, but that can't be right. I called the hospital after we left yesterday. They admitted Alice on a psychiatric hold." He was being cautious with her, she could tell.

"Maybe they released her or something. I don't know, but it's definitely her. Trust me." She retorted. As she shook her head vehemently, she tapped furiously on her cell phone, until Alice's distinctly similar voice was pouring out from the little speaker. She couldn't hear the pleading or the chastising, but she could remember it from memory. It was a harrowing sound as it droned on, ever changing in it's manic intentions. She tried not to watch Jasper as he listened on and on, so instead she simply watched the sidewalk slip by underneath her feet.

Holding out her phone for her to take, she looked up briefly, seeing the resolution fix in his eyes. Taking her cell phone back and shoving it in her pocket, she gave him the time he needed to work through what he'd heard.

After several blocks and still no word from him, she could no longer keep her words to herself. Breaking through the night, she was careful with her phrasing.

"Did you really mean what you said yesterday? When you said you thought she might be dangerous?" Bella's eyes were wide and even though she didn't want to appear vulnerable, she wanted to understand what she was dealing with.

"I just meant, if she thinks you and I are something more than we are, then she might not react too well to either of us. You were there yesterday Bella. You saw with your own two eyes. Now imagine what would have happened if she found out about us." The way he said _'_us', made Bella feel slightly uncomfortable, as if somewhere between her manipulation and his compliance, they had created some form of bond. Something she hadn't intended.

"But judging from those messages, right now she sees you as being an accomplice of sorts and from what I have learned about the two of you, I'm going to guess she's way off the mark?" It was a question and a very clear one, but Bella refused to meet his eyes, refusing to play his game.

"I suggest you keep on letting her think you're an ally then. Unless you want to tell me what really went on with the two of you?" Her silence said it all and without meaning to, when she did speak she offered him something she wasn't sure she was willing to give. "And how about you and Alice? What about your history? Surely that's relevant" Meeting his hard eyes with her own, she could see they had reached some understanding. If he wanted her truth, he was going to have to offer up his own.

Sensing a retreat, she didn't need to wonder why she felt a little sense of relief at not having to share with him her shame. After all, he might be on some misguided mission to right his wrongs, but he didn't have all the facts.

"So, the second thing?" He asked, his intention to divert the conversation they were almost having, quite clear.

"The second?" Bella asked, still focused on what had come before.

"Yeah, you said you had two things you wanted to talk about." Realizing he had made a choice, she gave him the respect it deserved and moved on.

"Oh, I just wanted to ask you, which of course you might not want to answer now… but I was guess I wanted to know if you found it difficult being out with me when…" The words couldn't quite come, but luckily he already had them for her.

"You look like Alice?" He finished, his eyes still so serious.

"Yeah." Bella responded, knowing she really did want to hear his answer.

"At first it was a little strange I guess. But you're very different Bella, I know you know that. Apart from every now and again when you look at me a certain way, I don't see her in you, or the other way around. Whichever you prefer." Jasper finished, waiting to see how far it really was from what she wanted to hear.

"What look?" Bella pounced quickly, needing to erase anything from herself that was even remotely the same as her sister. She could see her apartment block looming in the distance now and she wanted to know more.

Jasper just looked at her, before raising his eyes slightly to stare into the distance. "Sometimes, you look like you're trying to calculate something. When Alice used to do it, I knew it wasn't a good thing, I'm not sure about you yet."

Without knowing when he had specifically encountered the look with her, which she couldn't ask, she didn't know if he was either remarkably perceptive, or if she was just, shamefully, more similar to Alice than she knew.

"Don't you think it's a little weird for your friends though? I'm sure half of them think I'm her." The tone of her voice was joking, but his eyes told her he wasn't buying it.

"Actually, the ones who know me well already know about you. Those that don't, well, their opinions don't matter all that much." Jasper added, seeming so sure of his answer and his choice to redeem himself.

"So they know? About what happened between us?" Bella asked incredulously, wondering just how a conversation like that would go.

"No. Of course not. But they know Alice had a twin and that we're friends. You've actually met most of my close friends anyway." He said simply.

Bella got the impression he was done with this topic, so when he changed the subject abruptly, she wasn't surprised. "Tell me you didn't have fun tonight!" He challenged, his blue eyes meeting hers, his lips curled up into a smile who's origins she couldn't trace.

She wanted to tell him something to the contrary. But she couldn't remember having to orchestrate a single emotion, or forcing a bout of laughter at something she didn't find amusing. The night had passed so effortlessly, that she hadn't needed to do any of these things.

"But it's not real Jasper. They're your friends, not mine. This is just a game and to be honest you're not really proving anything other than you obviously have very welcoming friends." Thinking she had successfully destroyed his argument, she settled back into her stride.

"Actually that's bullshit. Leah is your friend. We might have known each other for forever, but she sees herself as more of a big sister to me. I don't think you can just call them my friends anymore Bella."

He spoke so honestly that for a moment she believed him.

"Well then. Obviously you've proved your point!" Bella stated, feeling triumphant as she grinned at him, hoping he would take the out she was offering him.

"Actually, it makes me think if you can dismiss them all so easily, then I've got a lot further to go." He eyed her up and down, then raised an eyebrow, letting her know he wasn't going to give up that easily.

Her feet stopped and he seemed confused for just a moment, but then he followed her eyes as she pointedly looked up at the building they were standing in front of.

"Oh. That was fast." Jasper said, smiling up again at the high-rise apartments above.

"Thanks for tonight Jasper, I actually had fun." Bella offered, laughing a little while shaking her head as she admitted he was right once again.

"Oh just you wait Swan, on Sunday you're going to be a cheerleader at our weekly football game. It's first one I've played in a while." He seemed so self assured, so confident that she would be there, she found herself smiling right along with him.

"Really? And what on earth makes you think I want to watch a bunch of overgrown boys rolling around in the mud?"

But he simply started walking away and while she was too controlled to shout out in the street, she was all but vibrating to know just why he was so sure he would be there.

She watched as he effortlessly hailed a cab and then just as she thought he would disappear into it without telling her, he turned around, a lazy smirk on his face.

"You'll come Bella Swan, because I've finally convinced Edward to play this week and you'll get to watch me kick his ass!" He left her with one last look, just asking her to contradict him, but as she thought about it, she couldn't. She knew she would go, because if nothing else, she wanted to see Rosalie's face as Edward was pummeled succinctly into the ground.

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**a/n: This one took a little longer than expected to get out and for that I'm truly sorry. I really am aiming to get the next chap out to you super soon, but I don't want to make promises my creativity can't cash. **

**Thank you to all who read/review/alert/favourite and generally take time out of your life to hop along the WAL train with me ... You guys make my grinch heart grow a little more each week.  
**

**x  
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	20. Illutation

**a/n: Thank you to my lovely beta Twiticulate and pre-reader Liamsgurl33. I would gush profusely about them, but they both know how much I appreciate them (or at least I hope they do!)**

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**Her week was long and tedious, filled with abject monotony and many other epithets to describe her unnatural state of absolute boredom. Even laying in a hospital bed had seemed mildly better than the week she'd had, probably because of the influx of medications she'd been on.

Eighteen hours, forty-seven minutes and an ever-reducing number of seconds were tagged in her mental countdown. Never before had she been so truly happy to return to her place of work and her nervous excitement was readily spilling over into her Sunday afternoon.

The August sun was beating down on the city and she'd dressed appropriately, her red summer dress fluttering around her recently unwoven knee, a breeze ghosting in through the opened window.

"We're here doll. That'll be twenty six fifty." The cab driver said, turning in his seat to throw her a toothy grin from behind his scruffy grey beard. Handing over three crisp tens, she shuffled out into the sunshine, thankful that she'd taken the time to carefully smooth sunscreen over her delicate porcelain skin. Checking the time on her cell phone, it was coming up to one o'clock and that meant she was exactly on time.

Swinging her beach bag back and forth, she walked casually along the path, smiling to herself as she thought about which one of her new suits she would wear tomorrow.

"Bella!"

She lifted her head to see Paul waving at her, beckoning her towards him, with his usual enthusiastic impatience.

"Come on Swan, get your ass over here." He added, when her feet didn't pick up the pace. She was glad it wasn't ten years ago, because the High School version of herself would have been blushing up a gale force storm, as at least three men and several passing children all turned to see who he was hollering at.

A cluster of large men had gathered around a number of trucks and cars, the deep toned buzz of conversation spreading out towards her in the air. As she scanned the faces, she couldn't see a single female amongst them, so it looked like her cheerleading team was going to consist of one.

She watched Paul end whatever conversation he was having as he stepped away from the group, filling the space between them with two long strides. He wrapped his large arms around her, and swung her in the air, as she tried with her free arm to keep her dignity by holding onto the hem of her skirt.

"Put me down Paul." She squealed, drawing several pairs of eyes over in their direction once again.

"What? Now I can't give my favorite Swan a hug hello?" He pouted, his big brown eyes melting her mild annoyance, even though he was too tall, and she too short for them to reach their ultimate impact.

"Yey, you forgive me. Great. Now come on, J said I have to entertain you until he gets here. Come meet some of the guys." Paul grabbed her small hand and led her into the folds of giant men, introducing her back and forth with a wide smile on his face. He seemed to find it highly amusing when he made sure they knew she was the 'good Swan' and 'not the other', said with a scrunched up nose of obvious distaste.

"Seth. You know Miss. Bella right? You better be nice, because I have it on good authority she signs your checks!"

Bella shook her head at Paul's brash nature, but it seemed to just roll from Seth's back as he rolled his eyes.

Lifting her braced hand, she waved a little awkwardly at Seth.

"Hi Seth. You playing today?" She asked, trying to make an effort at polite, out of office conversation.

He nodded his head vigorously while grinning, "Yep, I play every week, I think Peter's coming too this week." He added, while straining his neck to look around.

"He plays?" She asked, a little confused, but then she quickly remembered that weird night in her apartment when Jasper and he had met.

"This'll be his first time. I just hope Jasper warned him it can get pretty rough out there." Bella particularly didn't like the way he grimaced at his own words. She wasn't a big fan of sports, least of all those which you would describe as 'contact'.

As she was silently dreading watching these men tear chunks out of each other, she noticed a larger than large man creeping up behind Seth, a finger raising to his lips, begging her to play along in his game.

She composed her usual mask of indifference onto her face, as Seth enthusiastically pointed out Jasper's truck pulling up along side the others.

"Guess who?"

Seeing the twinkle of affection in the stranger's eyes as he wrapped his mammoth hands around Seth's eyes, Bella turned away to watch Jasper slide out of his truck. Otis following seconds after. The ball of black fur ran straight into the pack of men, barking and blurring his way back and forth with unbridled enthusiasm. He stopped suddenly and sat back on his haunches, responding to a command she herself hadn't heard. His tongue lollopped out the side of his mouth as he panted with excitement, his tail slapping back and forth on the asphalt.

Bella was still watching the little bundle of amusing fur, so when his floppy ears pricked up and his head turned comically to one side, she followed his big brown eyes to see Jasper parting the crowd. Trailing her eyes over his approaching form, the contours of his muscular frame didn't bypass her approval.

"Hey, I'm glad you came." He said when he was standing directly in front of her, but she didn't hold his attention for long.

"McCarty! Please tell me you're gonna play?" Jasper all but shouted, as he moved around her to envelope the behemoth in a regulation back slapping man-hug. The name jostled something in her mind and as she turned around to look at him again, he didn't seem so unfamiliar this time.

As she listened in on their catch-up conversation, she found him in her memory. But when he walked off, his arm wrapped around Seth's waist, she could all but stop and stare.

"Seth is…?"

Bella lifted her head to catch Jasper looking at her patiently, obviously interested in where her reaction would lead.

"Seth's gay?" She finally blurted out.

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Jasper questioned, with a hint of disbelief.

Shaking her head, she watched the two men together, Seth leaning back against a silver iron railing, as a long forgotten memory brushed his hand all the way from Seth's shoulder, to his fingers, lingering there for a long moment. There was nothing overtly obvious about their interaction, but Bella still felt like she was intruding on something very intimate, so she pulled her eyes away.

"I had no idea." She finally vocalized, her eyes squinting in the sunshine as she lifted her head to reach Jasper's. He didn't respond and she lifted her hand to shield her vision, but it was whipped away before she had a chance to truly assess him.

He held onto her little palm as he pulled her back to his truck, speaking to her all the while. "Come on, the game's starting soon and I brought some supplies to keep you entertained." Jasper motioned behind him to where he'd parked up.

With Otis snuffling the grass behind them, Jasper flicked down the tailgate and hopped into the bed, all in one lithe movement. Not possessing his grace, Bella leaned down on the newly exposed metal, happy to remain on the ground and not make a fool of herself.

She watched intently as he slid the portioning glass open and grabbed a couple blankets, followed by a dog bowl. Laying down the blankets at the edge of the truck, he turned around to look where she was. Seeing her still standing on the solid earth, he dropped down next to her with ease and without another word, wrapped his hands around her hips and lifted her to sit on the truck bed.

"Oh!" Bella gasped, shocked by what he'd just done.

Jasper just grinned back at her before disappearing around the corner, coming back with the dog bowl full of water.

"Can you put this back there for Otis? He'll chase us about for thirty seconds, but after that he'll probably just sit here with you. If that's okay?" He added, but she sensed Otis would do whatever the hell he wanted, whether she was on board or not. After all, he was currently sitting in little red car that was parked next to Jasper's, slathering all over someone's steering wheel.

"That's Paul's car. He knows if he doesn't want him in there he needs to keep the windows up." Jasper broke into her thoughts, smiling at the mischievous beast, clearly appreciating his antics.

"Anyway, there's a cooler in the back with a whole bunch of stuff in it. Take anything you want. I picked up a couple sandwiches; we usually break to eat, but if you're hungry go ahead." Bella felt a little out of her league and was fairly sure she wasn't going to touch anything when he left, but she still smiled brightly and thanked him.

"Kay. Well, don't forget to cheer." He said, before turning heel and jogging back over to the group of men who were walking out onto the field. She scanned each of them looking for Edward, wondering how she'd missed Peter's arrival, before finally landing on his distinctively weird hair color. His shoulders and hips looked sleight compared to most of the guys out there, but knowing he'd played football in high school, she wondered if Jasper had underestimated him.

"Hey, you mind if I sit with you? Jasper said you wouldn't mind the company." Tearing her eyes from the wall of testosterone, she drew her focus in.

"I know you!" Was all she said, a wry smile on her face as he slipped around to the cooler, pulling out a couple beers. As he stepped back around and hopped gracefully, a complete contradiction to his size, onto the truck bed, it groaned beneath him.

"Here." He gestured, pushing a beer into her body. Having no option but to take it, she slowly twisted the cap away and took a leisurely sip.

"Yeah. I remember you, doesn't seem like you've changed much." He said, tipping his beer back and then focusing back on the men on the field.

Remembering the moment of bravado she'd experienced when she'd first met him, she didn't quite know how to tell him that he'd met a very strange version of herself that night. He was still just as large and handsome as he had been ten years ago and up close, under the rays of sun, she thought possibly even more so.

"You'd be surprised." She said, as the men separated into two teams, Paul and Jasper immediately taking control of the opposing sides.

"It's a small world huh? One minute you're handing over a library card as ID and the next you're my boyfriends boss. Which reminds me, we've never officially been introduced. I'm Emmett McCarty." He held out his hand for her, then switched it over quickly to his left when he saw her dilemma. Fumbling through the handshake, Bella laughed out her response. "Bella Swan, but I get the impression you already know that."

"So, you and Seth?" Bella asked, as the men lined up in what she assumed were starting positions.

"Yeah. Me and Seth. So, you and Jasper?" He asked, mimicking her.

Bella turned her head to see if there was anything lurking behind his question, but he was focused on the game.

"No. It's nothing like that. We're friends… I think." Sipping on her bottle of beer, she couldn't help the giggle which fell from her throat as she watched Edward being pushed down into the dirt by not one, but two of Jasper's team.

"Is that legal?" She asked, noting Emmett was wearing his own smile.

"Do you see a ref out there?" He retorted and as her eyes scanned the bodies for someone who looked official, she found nothing.

"Oh."

"Yeah, from what I hear Cullen's in for a beating."

Turning her focus from the man who was struggling to get to his feet, she narrowed her eyes.

"What's that about? Jasper said he was a dick, but…" She didn't know how to explain that she'd seen no evidence in support of that, when after all she had barely spoken ten words to him since High School.

Emmett just shrugged, obviously keeping whatever boy-code this fell under. Then, just as Jasper had predicted, Otis came bounding up to them, his foray into the world of football so short lived it couldn't even be considered a foray really.

"Hey little man, come on up." Bella gestured, while patting the blanket next to her. He tried once and then stood on his back legs and whined, looking directly at her with his big brown eyes.

"Don't be fooled. He's just a lazy fucker, I've seen him jump up a bunch of times." Emmett said, laughing openly at the furry's plight, as the whining continued on.

Patting again, Bella added a little more enthusiasm. "Come on Otis, come on!" But he just looked at her forlornly, before laying down on the grass at her feet, staring up at her.

"He's an evil genius that one." Emmett concluded, but he obviously hadn't expected Bella to leap from the truck. She struggled so abysmally to get his sloppy body raised any height, that he laughed raucously, before hopping down, shaking his head and all but lifted the mutt with one hand. He was about to hop back up himself, when he noticed Bella staring at the truck speculatively.

"Did your boy help you up?" He asked, looking back out over the field to see Jasper laughing at them, openly. He raised one finger in salute and then lifted Bella up.

"Thank you. I'm sorry Emmett, I'm not normally so useless." She lowered her head, as Otis nuzzled her hand in appreciation.

"I know. Seth's told me all about you!" He added, winking at her, a gesture which could be taken a thousand different ways.

"Well then it's only fair if you tell me about yourself." She concluded, as she rescued her beer bottle just as Otis was about to topple it over with an overly enthusiastic paw.

"Not much to tell really. I play for the Raven's…" She hadn't realized she was doing it, but judging from his next words, she'd given away her ignorance. "You don't know what that is do you?" He seemed truly pleased by her reaction, as he grinned at her.

"Nope. I was pretty sure it was some sports team or other, but I have no idea what kind." She finished, completely at ease with her lack of knowledge on sports.

"It's a football team in the NFL. Paul's my manager, that's how I know these fuckers." He said with far less arrogance than she would expect for someone who was clearly a successful athlete.

"Oh, well how come you aren't playing?" Bella asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, for one I'm recovering from surgery right now." He said, lifting his shorts just a little to show a pink scar on his knee. Smiling gleefully, Bella raised her dress a little and said, "Hey. We match!"

"Nice!" He said, "Seth'll be pleased we found something in common." He laughed so easily that she found herself doing the same.

"Isn't it hard being with Seth and playing football."

"To be honest I'm a center, which isn't the most glamorous position on the line and I've never had enough media time for my social life to come up." She realized from the tone of his words, he'd taken her question the wrong way. "Don't get me wrong Bella, I'm not hiding who I am, the team knows." He added, the smile completely gone from his face.

"Actually I was asking about you being away so much, you know, the whole long distance thing." The words sounded a little defensive on her lips, but only because she truly didn't want him to think she was making any judgment about his life.

"Oh, well now I feel like a dick. Sorry Bella, I guess it's just one of those questions I have in my mind that people are gonna ask, I should have known Jasper's girl would been cooler than that." He seemed genuinely remorseful, so Bella mentally told herself off when she pounced on the least important thing he'd said. "I'm not Jasper's girl."

He just laughed and looked down to her left side, where Otis was curled up, his head resting happily in her lap. "Hmm, sitting in Jasper's truck, drinking his beer, with his dog's head in your lap… sure you're not!"

Shaking her head, she smiled because she knew no matter what she said; she wasn't going to convince him otherwise.

"Go man!" Emmett suddenly shouted, and Bella whipped her head around to see Seth sliding over a line, only to be immediately covered in exuberant hugs. Bella didn't needed confirmation over what she thought had happened, so she just watched, a smile on her face.

Jasper was true to his word, and by the time they all trailed off the field, Edward Cullen looked like a piece of blood and mud smeared flesh. He still managed a tight smile for Bella though, as he limped straight towards his car.

"Hey, you hungry?" Jasper asked, mud trailing down the right side of his pure white shirt. Otis lifted his head hopefully, but Jasper righted him quickly. "Not you fella." Jasper said, before dropping his head done towards the dog conspiratorially, "Although judging from how you've got her wrapped around your paw, she'll probably share with you."

Emmett and Jasper both broke out into peels of laughter.

"Hey, he needed help." Bella said indignantly, and she saw something flash in Jasper's eyes.

"Otis down!" Jasper commanded, and like a flash the dog hopped down to the floor, sitting by his side, excited to have a purpose in life.

"Otis up!"

Bella wanted nothing more than to groan in defeat, as she watched his furry highness jump up next to her with an effortless ease, sending her a goofy smile. Turning to him, she hissed the word 'traitor', before showing him her back.

Emmett and Jasper seemed to find this even more amusing, and what was worse, Paul and Seth were standing just behind them, enjoying the show.

"Man, that dog's a genius. Did you train him to do that around chicks?" Paul asked, eyeing up Otis in a way that suggested if the answer was yes, he might just be stopping by the pet store on the way home.

"Nope, he just likes being picked up by pretty girls." Jasper said from over his shoulder, as he pulled the cooler from the front of the truck. Bella heard Paul say, "Don't we all!" Earning him an eye roll from Seth, who it seemed was just now realizing his boss was sitting in the bed of a truck with his boyfriend.

"Ummm, Em, you wanna come get some burgers with me?" He asked, looking entirely uncomfortable in their current company.

"Sure. I'll be back to keep you entertained in the second half, and then I can tell you all the shit Seth's told me about you." Emmett grinned, winking at Bella obviously as he looped his arm over Seth's shoulders and strode off.

Otis snuggled up into Bella's side once again and quick to forgive, Bella stroked his snout, as Paul and Jasper climbed into the truck and started passing around various foodstuffs. A fresh beer was pushed in her direction, courtesy of Paul, followed by a sandwich from Jasper.

As they sat together, each consuming their own picnic lunch, Bella listened as they replayed the first half for her with invested enthusiasm. She was still eating when Paul threw his empty wrappers at Jasper and jogged back out onto the field, calling Otis after him, where they began to play an intriguing game of ball-less fetch.

"Thanks for lunch." Bella said, trying to fill the silence that had replaced Paul.

"No worries. So, you having fun?" He asked, then took a large bite of his sub. She really was, but that had more to do with Seth's entertaining other half, than a bunch of sweaty men, and so she told him so.

"I brought Alice here with me once, and she told me she had a good time, but I knew she was lying."

Bella turned her head away from him and focused in on the easier distraction of his rambunctious animal. She didn't know why he was telling her this, but the comparison twisted nastily in her gut, resulting in a frown she didn't care to hide.

"Sorry, I didn't mean you were lying." He added hastily when he saw her reaction. Turning back to him, she caught him looking at her cautiously. He was the last person she'd thought she would have to endure this conversation with, especially after his words a few nights prior.

"I'm not Alice, Jasper and you're wasting your fucking time if you think I am." Pushing her sandwich aside, she slid from the truck, walking away even though she could hear him clearly calling her back.

Knowing she just needed a moment to clear her head, she strode away from the truck, not getting far before something stopped her feet in their tracks.

"I know Ali, but not tonight… Because I can't, that's why… For fuck's sake, I said no… I don't care what you tell her… okay, okay. Whatever you want, I'll be there in ten." Slamming his phone down on his dashboard, Edward didn't notice the shadow looming over the passenger side of his car, nor did he take any notice of her as he threw his car into drive and sped out of the park; clearly not caring one iota about the second half of the game.

Bella stood perfectly still, not sure what to do with what she'd just heard. Her instinctual response was to about turn and tell Jasper everything, but something stopped her. All she had was a flimsy conversation, one that could mean a million things. She was still cycling through the possibilities in her mind, when she felt a hand wrap around her shoulder. Expecting to see Jasper when she turned, she was surprised at having to crane her neck to finally reach Emmett's dimpled smile.

"Hey, you coming back to watch the second half? Or is the view of the ice cream van just so good you can't tear your eyes away?" He was joking with her, and knowing that, she managed a tight smile, allowing herself to be led back to the truck and deposited in the bed, like a small unruly child.

For an outsider looking on, Bella appeared far more interested in the second half of the game than she had been the first. The conversation between them was initially limited to light banter about 'such and such' a play and she thought he was happy with this when he suddenly offered an insight she hadn't asked for.

"I remember your sister, from when she dated my brother. Are you close still?"

She didn't even turn her head to look at him, so he took this as an obvious no.

"When I heard she was dating one of Paul's friends, I was really surprised. Riley was adopted and we fell out pretty badly when he left home, but from the way he used to talk about her, the things she used to say to him... Man, it was like she was addicted to him or something. I figured they'd be married with a whole bunch of kids right now, but I guess something must have happened along the way to fuck that up."

Bella's eyes stopped following Jasper, who was currently running with the ball. She didn't turn to face Emmett, but she was officially on alert.

"What do you mean, the things she used to say?" She tried to keep a certain amount of casual ambivalence in her voice.

"The usual I guess, I'm not sure, I mean my dating experience with high school girls was limited, but she was seriously intense. Things like how she could never love anyone but him, how they were destined for one another and she'd seen him coming. It was weird, but I think the freaky thing was, she got him to believe it too. I tried to tell him it would all pass by college, but he bought into it. Like she could do no wrong because she knew they would end up together. Anyway, like I said, weird."

Bella wanted to ask more but as the bodies began to filter back over to them, she tried to figure out the winner recalling his earlier running commentary.

"Hey." Jasper said as he walked right up to her, his eyes were cautious but his tone was soft. He had a large streak of mud on the left hand side of his neck that was drying into flakes and even though she was sure he must be thirsty and tired, he didn't move when she just sat there watching him.

"Hey." She said, offering him a smile, because though she'd been angry at him, the emotion had been consumed by Edward's strange conversation.

"What you said before… That wasn't what I meant…" He trailed off and she knew why, as she caught Emmett from the corner of her eye leaning in towards them.

Turning to face him, she sent him a deathly glare that was only half serious. He smiled in defeat as he slid back, his hands up defensively.

Her attention was still focused on Emmett's retreating behemoth frame when she felt something warm circle around her ankle. She looked down between them, to see Jasper's muddy fingers wrapped around her delicate bone. The gesture seemed far more intimate than anything that had consciously passed between them before and though it didn't necessarily make her uncomfortable, she was very aware of him.

Feeling him jiggle her leg back and forth, she thought maybe he felt the same way, as he pulled back, leaving her ankle feeling cold and sensitive.

"Come on. We're going to Paul's for drinks." He still hadn't moved away from her and as whatever she thought had passed between them faded, she wondered whether it had been there at all.

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**I think the next chapter will be in a week's time. So until then...  
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**x  
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	21. Immerge

The tapping sound of her nails rhythmically attacking the letters on her keypad filled the room. It was the only sound she was allowing herself to hear, because just beyond that thick mahogany door, was a man she had been somewhat avoiding for almost three weeks.

She knew why he was here, it was simply too obvious. At first she'd answered his calls, offered polite but genuine reasons why she didn't have time to join him in this activity, or that. But his enthusiasm to see her hadn't waned and she grew tired of telling him the same thing, no matter how true it may have been; she was just too busy with work.

His deep tone was distinctive enough that she'd known the very minute he'd arrived, and though she told herself she wasn't listening out for his voice, she'd know the minute he left too. For the seven hundredth time, her eyes darted to the door handle, sure that she'd heard a minute scratching in its vicinity, but it merely stared back at her, mocking her with it's stillness.

Looking up at the screen to proof-read the email she'd obliviously been touch typing, she pushed the keyboard aside in disgust. It looked like an early form of Gaelic rather than English, with more vowels than any composite of sentences ever deserved to possess.

Pushing down on her desk, she stood, brushing down her perfectly tailored charcoal pant suit, before stalking towards the door. She looked like a feral animal hunting its weakened prey, but just before she swung the door open, a moment of hesitation broke down her façade. For just a fraction of a second her bottom lip was pushed down under her teeth and her eyes lost their steeled focus. She looked vulnerable, but as the metal handle compressed and a hum of voices swept past her into the controlled sanctuary of silence, the mask returned.

He didn't turn to look as the door peeled open, nor did he straighten up his body that was casually draped against Seth's little enclosure. He looked carefree and happy, which only irked her further.

Seth, who was always on alert for her presence, seemed to know she was there through instinct alone. His back straightened and his head whipped around to face his computer screen, feigning activity, which might have worked on a lesser boss, if only his monitor hadn't timed out from inactivity. He swiped his mouse back and forth frantically, but now he had to go through the painstaking process of logging himself back into the system through a chain of passwords. She was mildly irritated that he hadn't thought, as her assistant, what it would look like to the rest of the staff as he languidly lazed around, but he wasn't really the focus of her hunt.

As Seth pawed around in a desperate attempt to look active, Jasper had obliviously continued on with his story and only when she was stood right next to him, so clearly in his line of sight that he couldn't miss her, did he notice her.

"Oh, hey Bella." He seemed so genuinely pleased to see her that it threw her for a moment and she had to remind herself why she was out here.

"Can I have a word with you?" She asked, but when he nodded and made no move to follow her steps, she added, "In my office."

Tapping his hand down on Seth's shoulder twice in a friendly gesture, he finally followed after her, his body and face the picture of effortless ease.

Standing in the doorway, she inched out of his way as he strode past, closing the door firmly behind him and with her back turned away from him, took one slow breath.

"Jasper, you can't be here." She started, unable to stop herself from pacing as her frustration bubbled to the surface. She had accepted him into her apartment, her new apartment no less, but this was too much.

"I know you think you're doing me a favor…" She waved her hand dismissively, as he sat himself down in one of the leather chairs across from her desk. "…but really, I think maybe you just need to back off. I could handle it before when it was just my apartment, but I can't be sitting here wondering when you're going to show up if I don't answer one of your calls." She wasn't anywhere near done with her rant, when he interrupted her.

"One?"

The word hung between them, and she didn't know why, but she found herself justifying her behavior to him.

"Okay fine, several, but I told you Jasper, I've been really busy and I haven't had time to see you."

She felt so weak having to say this to him and as her anger faded into something else, she struggled to get across to him what she was feeling without sounding crazy.

"You can't be here Jasper, you just can't. I can't take it, it's too much. I can't concentrate and the last thing I need is another reason to stay late. I already have so much to do and of course _this _doesn't help…" Bella said, throwing up her braced arm in disgust, before continuing on. "…And anyway, why are you here Jasper? I'm in meetings all day and if you called Seth, you would have known that. Just because I don't answer the phone, doesn't give you the right to show up here out of the blue…" Her voice was getting more frantic, as the words she wanted to say just seemed to come out in a jumbled mess. Her feet were now blazing a trail across the carpet and her hands were gesticulating wildly. She was trying to reel herself in, but she just couldn't and as she twirled around to pace back towards him, she was stopped in her tracks.

She hadn't heard him stand up, or walk towards her, the volume on her inner monologue had been turned up too high. He wrapped his hands around the tops of her arms, holding her in place and stopping her gesturing all at once. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head and found nothing but his constant calm staring back at her.

"Just breathe Bella." He waited and watched, checking to make sure that she was following his instructions, as a playful smile began to creep onto his lips.

"Now firstly, I'm here with Emmett. We came to take Seth to lunch, but I got here a few minutes early. However, I was hoping to run into you. But, this…" he said, nodding down to let her know he was talking about her mini rant, "…is not okay. I'm not stalking you Bella, I've called you maybe three or four times. But now that I'm here, what are you doing this weekend?"

As she met the softness in his eyes, she knew he wanted an answer from her, even though he already knew what she would say.

"I'm working Jasper. I think I made that pretty clear don't you?" She let out a little sigh, unable to meet his eyes which she knew would be begging her to let him in.

"Okay, but what does that entail exactly? Do you have meetings? When you say you're working, what does that mean?"

Her hands twitched, desperate to throw themselves in the air in some gesture of defeated frustration.

"I have phone calls to make, reports to run, manuscripts to read… all of which I should be doing right now if you really want to know."

His hands trailed down her arms, leaving her body just as they approached the bare skin of her wrists.

"So would you be able to do all of that at home?"

Taking a step back from his close proximity, her good hand restlessly checked that her neatly kept bun was still in place.

"Yes, technically. I probably will be at home for the most part."

"Great. I want you to come with me to my cabin for the weekend. The weather's gonna be fantastic and I've used the place in the past to get work done, so it's got a great office set-up, everything you could need. I think you need a break Bell."

Her eyes lifted at the shortening of her name, pulling her out of the million reasons racing through her head why going away with him would be a bad idea.

"I can't Jasper."

His smile faded into serious eyes and just when she thought he was giving up on her, he offered her something she wasn't expecting.

"Bell, I know you think I'm doing all this out of some fucked up guilt trip, and maybe I was to begin with, but it's not about that anymore, at least not for me anyway. So if you really want me to back off, I'll do it?"

She knew she should stop this now, relieve him of this weird burden he was carrying to make up an un-wronged right with her, but as her head began to shake back and forth, she knew that selfishly, she didn't want to let him go. He made her laugh and forget about the person she had spent six years hiding behind, Even though she had been avoiding him, with him standing right in front of her, she couldn't remember why.

"Okay. Look, I need to go, I know Seth only gets thirty minutes and I don't want to keep them waiting. I'm leaving this in your hands Bella, let me know if you're in."

He was almost out the door when she called him back, his eyes bright with hopeful expectancy.

"Tell Seth he can have an hour."

Throwing her his best smile over his shoulder, she heard his voice all the way to the elevator, teasing Seth about the favors he'd pulled to get him an extra thirty minutes.

She managed to push him aside for the rest of the afternoon, but as the night drew around her and an orange glow of artificial light highlighted the pale depths of her skin, she couldn't keep her mind from racing any longer. It was too easy to imagine him picking her up, that country music he seemed to love so much blasting at an ungodly decibel from the speakers. Without realizing what she was doing, she found herself smiling. Tracing her mouse over her planner for the next week, she looked for a reason not to go, a reason to convince herself she couldn't, but this week and the next didn't contain anything too taxing.

Grabbing her cell phone before she lost her nerve, Bella quickly typed out a text message, letting him know she was in. Setting the phone down again, she tried to assess how she felt, but when the panic didn't set in, she let the smile back onto her lips, truly excited for what was to come.

Knowing she was going to be limited in her productivity over the weekend, Bella arrived earlier and left later for the remainder of the week. She had pushed herself to such an extreme that she wasn't sure whether she would be awake long enough to appreciate her time away. But, just as she had predicted, Jasper picked her up outside her office building with the country music blaring, the only thing she hadn't counted on was the furry mass currently occupying her seat.

Jasper hopped out the cab into the evening air, sauntering towards her and taking both her weekend bag and her messenger with ease.

"You might want to get changed, Otis has been kicking back up front, but I think he might be shedding in protest, cause he knows he's gonna be sitting in the back." Jasper eyes trailed over her pencil skirt and silk shirt, drawing her attention to just how different they must seem. She was tailored lines and pristine buns, while he was ratty jeans and shaggy hair. Her thoughts and his words only made her smile, shrug her shoulders and push the black beast out of the way as she hopped up into his truck.

The country music swirled around her just as she'd expected and as they left the lights of the city behind, she felt her whole body sag down into the seat, the tension from the week slipping from her muscles. She was beyond tired, so as she rested her head down against the cool glass of the window, she knew it wouldn't be long until she was asleep.

It wasn't all that long until she was awake again either, or at least it didn't feel like it.

"We're here Bell."

She groaned out her response, stretching out her muscles with her eyes shut tight. She heard an excited barking in the distance and as she looked to see what Otis was yapping about, she grinned when she found him bouncing up and down at Paul's feet.

"Paul!" She said to no one in particular. Sliding her body into the cool night air, she caught a weird look on Jasper's face, but it was gone before she could decide if it had ever been there at all.

"Bella!" Paul called, waving at her exuberantly while trying not to be attacked by Otis, who was offering up a joyous welcome of his own.

"You don't mind do you? They decided to tag along at the last minute." Bella looked all around the forest enclosed driveway, looking for who else 'they' could be, before she caught sight of Rachel peering out from one of the cabin's windows, probably looking to see what all the commotion was about.

"No, of course not." she said, thinking with all the work she needed to get done, she probably wouldn't be seeing much of them anyway.

Finally taking in everything around her, Bella noticed that it was less of the rustic cabin she was expecting and more a winter chalet, like something she would expect to see in a high end ski resort.

"This place is…" She finally decided on the word, "…impressive." As her feet hit the wooden porch that wrapped around the whole property.

"No kidding, right B? I can't believe you've been hiding this from me fucker." Paul punched Jasper playfully in the arm, but Bella was playing with his words in her mind, wondering if he'd kept this place wholly to himself, or if she was the second Swan to tread these boards.

Jasper gave them a lazy tour, which amounted to him pointing in random directions and throwing out words.

"Paul, Rachel, you guys will be over there. Bell, come with me." So easily dismissed, Bella followed the grace of his shoulders as he led her down a hallway, blocking her view with his frame as he opened up a door.

"If you need anything else just let me know."

Standing aside, expecting to see a bedroom, she almost gasped in awe as a fully fitted office opened up in front of her eyes. Not only did it have every bright and shiny technological weapon she could ever desire, she could see from the wall of windows that it had the most serene view of a moonlit lake.

Trailing her finger over the surfaces as she crossed the room, she smiled peacefully to herself, knowing she had definitely made the right decision.

"Do you want to see your room?" Jasper asked, drawing her attention away from the plush leather sofa where she envisioned reading her manuscripts tomorrow, to his body, leaning so easily against the doorframe.

She decided he seemed so much more at ease here, as he held out his hand for her to take, before leading her through to what she was sure was the master suite. She didn't mention her assumptions though and as he walked away, he left her contend with Otis, who was already laying flat out on her king-sized bed with his paws in the air.

"Hey, you big lump, get off!" She said without much enthusiasm, while pushing his floppy body to the edge of the bed. If she wasn't so rational, she would have sworn he was laughing at her, as his tongue flopped out of his mouth, his big brown eyes sparkling at her meager efforts.

"Fine, you can stay, but I get this side."

"Lucky bastard!" She heard from the doorway, making her head whip around so fast she felt a little dizzy.

"Funny Paul. Don't you have a girlfriend you should be entertaining, instead of standing in my doorway listening in on a private conversation?" She knew it sounded ludicrous to indicate the mutt was even capable of such a thing, but he'd surprised her and she wasn't thinking clearly.

"J… you seriously need to tell me where you got this mutt of yours? He's like kryptonite or something." He called out, eyeing up Otis as he flopped over onto his side, taking no notice of Bella's previous dictation.

"He likes you B, he's got good taste too." Paul said as he strode away, heading in the general direction Jasper had disappeared earlier.

Muttering under her breath at the beast who was now snoring away, taking up half her bed, she busied herself with hanging up her clothes in the oversized closet. The room was luxurious and it didn't surprise her that she felt so relaxed under the soft lighting and effortless country style.

Flicking off her heels, she eased her arched feet down onto the warm wooden floor, allowing the heat to soak all the way up her calves before she walked back over to the closet, selecting something less constricting to wrap herself in.

Padding over to the door to offer herself a brief pause of privacy, she stopped for a moment, hearing the deep toned happiness of laughter bounce down the hall. Pushing back the sound, she clicked the door shut firmly, surprised by the eagerness of her emotions to join in with the joviality.

She thought it would take a bulldozer to pry him from her sheets, but when she called his name from the doorway, dressed now in jeans and a simple hooded top, Otis came eagerly. Stretching out his paws in a mocking salute to the satisfying rest he'd already managed on her bed.

"Come on you menace, let's find out where everyone is."

He loped obediently by her side and it took neither of them long to follow the voices out onto the back porch, where Jasper was sitting back on the steps, while Paul manned an expensive looking silver grill. The smells of meat and burning wood bored down into the pleasure centre of her brain, making her close her eyes and suck into the delicious scents before she could move any further.

"Hey B. You want a beer?" Paul asked, his whole face embracing her presence with a wide smile. Throwing herself down next to Jasper, she gratefully accepted the chilled bottle from his outstretched palm.

"Thanks Paul. Where's Rachel?" She asked, looking around for the woman she'd yet to really see.

"She'll be out in a few; one of her sister's is having a crisis, so she's on the phone trying to calm her down." Paul rolled his eyes, letting Bella know exactly what he thought about this, before turning around and flipping a couple steaks; who proceeded to sizzle angrily into the night.

"You get settled okay?" Jasper asked softly as he nudged her shoulder with his own, making her splutter as the bottle of beer pulled to her lips knocked against her teeth. She got the impression he was holding back a trill of laughter at her expense, but it didn't pull the happiness from her.

"Yeah thanks. So, does this fella have a bed or something?" She asked, shaking Otis's muzzle lightly as she spoke.

"Nope, he normally just passes out in the kitchen where it's cool, but Paul already told me he's called shotgun on your bed." He raised an eyebrow and Paul grinned, nodding his head proudly at the furry deviant.

"The little fucker is diabolical, but I've never seen him like this with anyone else before." Paul's words cocooned her as he turned back around, leaving her and Jasper to fight through some response. Coming up with nothing either witty, or intelligent, Bella simply stared out at the black pooling water of the lake, a picturesque scene she hadn't even taken the time to admire.

A few moments later they were joined by Rachel and Bella was happy to sit on the outskirts of the group, laughing along at their jokes, but contributing very little herself. It wasn't that she felt her usual need to perform, but the opposite. She was simply so relaxed in this new environment that she was happy to be herself, and right now that meant existing on the perimeter.**  
**

It only took a few hours for the beers Paul had been throwing back to take their effect and as his hands got even more adventurous with Rachel, Bella felt herself shifting more and more in her seat.

"I'll be back soon." She offered, as she stood from the lounge chair she'd been occupying, stretching out her limbs discretely. She caught Jasper's eye and left him with gentle smile as she strolled down to the dock she'd been eyeing all evening.

Up close it was even more alluring than it had been before. The booming conversation from the house was buffered in the night sky and as her toes hit the cool water of the inky lake, she threw her head back. The stars shone so brightly here that she forgot about everything else, looking for the constellations she'd taught herself as a child.

She didn't even lose focus as her body jostled slightly from the arrival of a warm companion and though she appreciated the heat from his body, she was content just to sit in silence by his side.

Not for a moment did she imagine it would be anyone but him, so when she finally found the cluster of seven stars she'd always looked for in her youth, she pushed her own shoulder against him, leaving it pressed there.

"I think I forgot what they looked like." She said, not elaborating, knowing he would intrinsically understand.

"It happens. But at least you know they exist." Jasper offered, his voice distorting from the tautened position of his neck.

Softening herself against him, she brought her gaze down, watching him as he peered up into the midnight abyss, the tan of his skin glowing under the moonlight.

Sitting in silence, she welcomed the sounds of nature as the forest around them creaked and rustled with nocturnal bliss.

"I never brought her here…." Jasper said, breaking through her contentment.

The question had been etched in the back of her mind, but she'd sworn to herself she would never ask it, never force herself to imagine she was replicating some macabre memory of his past.

"This was the first thing I bought with my own money and I'm not sure why but up until now I've kept it just for myself. Growing up, Paul and I always talked about it, this ideal of a cabin out by the lake, whole weekends where we could just fuck off from whatever nine to five we were doing and escape somewhere…." He paused, throwing back his beer, before wringing open two more that she hadn't seen him bring, and passing one her way. "…I came here a couple times when we were together, but I couldn't see her here, she just didn't fit."

"But I do?" The question was indulgent and the moment it left her body, she felt shocked by its brash nature.

He brought his head around, his eyes locking with hers, intrigue pooling in their depths. "Yeah, you do. Sometimes I don't get it, because for a long time, more than anything, I wanted it to be her. But bringing you here felt right. I could see you in my office, your head down as you buried yourself in work, or sitting out here, your feet dipped in the lake."

Seeing the thought he'd actually put into this, Bella felt her body retracting slightly, assessing what he was actually saying, because not only were his words heartfelt, but she could see those things herself.

"I like being here." She finally said, pushing her paranoia aside to reciprocate his honesty.

"Good." He said, his arm resting behind her casually on the pier, before adding; "Because I like you here too."

* * *

**a/n: Thank you to my lovely beta Twiticulate, she is seven shades of wonderful and now that WAL has her, I don't think we could live without her! And to my super pre-reader Liamsgurl33, thanks for your words hun. **

**The next chap is due next weekend, anything sooner will be a bonus. **

**To all of you who are reading along with me - you make my fingers tap away with glee, so I hope your dreams are filled with your very own yummy Jasper!**

**x  
**


	22. Immeritous

The morning sunlight streamed down onto her sleeping body, one of her bare legs lay exposed to the air, cushioned against a ridiculously content dog. As she began to find her way out of the deepest, most wonderfully dream permeated slumber she'd had in years, she wondered why, even though the bed was large enough for three of her, she was almost draped over the edge. The answer didn't wait for long, and in some strange instinctual way, Otis lifted his head almost at the same time she did.

"Hey Otis, how did you sleep fella?"

He shuffled forward as she greeted him, until he could nudge her hand and beg for some morning affection. She hadn't even bothered to resist when he'd followed her to bed and even though he took up more space than an wooly mammoth, she thought it was nice to wake up to someone who was pleased to see her.

Throwing back the covers, she was pleasantly surprised to find the air had been warmed around her. She couldn't faintly smell bacon in the air, but she got the impression she'd missed the option of breakfast by a long while.

Sliding open the white, almost opaque curtains, Bella's eyes dashed over the landscape, landing on a little rickety row boat half-way across the lake. She could easily identify both Paul and Jasper, even from a distance and only when she drew her focus in, did she see Rachel already sunbathing on the dock. Half of her brain longed to join them in some mindless relaxation, but the other half held all the power and was ultimately far too obtrusive to be ignored.

She showered and dressed briskly into a light summer dress and cardigan, leaving her feet bare and her hair to trail down her back in wet tendrils.

As she headed out of her room to the kitchen, she noticed Otis didn't stray too far from her side, but the moment he caught sight of the open patio door, he was off like lightening. Streaking out into the daylight, over the dock and into the lake, before she could call out to warn Rachel there was lake-water coming her way.

"Hey, you crazy dog. Jasper? Can't you put him on a leash or something?" Rachel sounded irate as she lifted her upper half to look in Jasper's direction. Bella felt a little twinge of irritation at the girl, but it quickly subsided when Paul and Jasper just laughed loudly, their voices carrying easily to where she was standing. They didn't seem to notice her standing in the shadows. She stepped back inside easily, aware that she didn't have the inclination to act out any morning pleasantries, as she was itching to get on with her day.

Grabbing a large mug of coffee, Bella stopped off in her room to grab her messenger bag, the one she had stacked full of manuscripts and notes. It took her about half an hour to have everything set up to perfection and as she worked through her self assigned mountain of tasks, the day drifted by gently around her.

Only pausing for another coffee a little after one o'clock, she barely moved from Jasper's chair all afternoon. Her checklist of things to do had diminished to leave only her favorite task, the one she always forced herself to save until last. Eyeing up the leather couch she'd spotted during her initial tour, she knew the rays of sunshine would warn her cold skin.

Glancing out over the lake as she sat down, she noted that not much had changed out there either. Rachel was now laying in the shade reading a book she couldn't distinguish from this distance, while Jasper was still fishing and Paul was nowhere to be seen.

It took only a few words before thoughts of her companions filtered away, as her whole being was swept away into one of the best pieces of prose she'd had the pleasure to read in years. Normally she would have skim quickly through the manuscript, but she found herself snared up in the storyline, a world filled with creatures that were mere myths in her own.

She ignored their calls for her to come out to dine with them, she smiled sheepishly as Jasper placed a cool beer by her side and as the final page turned, she sighed happily. Love stories weren't usually her thing, but this one was quite obviously something else, something more.

Even though she didn't really want to leave her warm bubble of bliss, the drunken raised voices out of the deck were nudging at her perimeters, beckoning her back to reality. Throwing her feet down onto the wooden floor, she almost knocked over the bottle of beer that was sitting tepidly where Jasper had left it. Feeling like she shouldn't allow it to waste, she took a thick gulp, cringing slightly at the crisp warmth as it washed down her throat.

Placing the stack of worn pages down carefully back in her messenger bag, Bella flicked off the reading lamp, bathing the room in a blue glow from the moon that was sitting eerily low in the sky.

It was clear from the amount of laughter and volume of voices that a high level of alcohol had already been consumed, but she was still a little overwhelmed with the vivacity of her welcome when she stepped out into the night.

She stood in the doorway as they all called her name, each wearing a bright smile as they beckoned her out. Even Otis stirred from his slumber, his ears pricking up and his tail thumping, still too lazy to actually get up though.

Walking over to their little circle of beer and sambuca scented joviality, she felt incredibly late to the party.

Jasper tapped his hand down on the chair next to him and without a thought she went to his side, welcoming his easy presence as Paul poured her a shot of something clear.

"Here B, you're playing catch up." He added, as he pushed the tiny tumbler into her fingers, his words slurring ever so slightly.

Not wanting to be the only one with a clear head in the morning, Bella threw her head back as the anise coated her tongue, the distinct taste feeling like fire when she exhaled for the first time.

"Yay. Now do mine." Rachel clapped, before pouring something blue into a glass, the ease of her smile giving no indication that what Bella was about to consume tasted more like acid than a consumable liquid.

"What the hell was that?" Bella spluttered, pouring the tepid beer down her throat in an effort to eliminate the paint stripper from her palate.

"Absinthe." Rachel replied, her voice full of feigned innocence.

"I thought that was green?" Bella asked, but no reply came as another shot came her way, all three pairs of eyes watching and waiting expectantly.

"Nah ah, no way. Not until you tell me what it is." Bella said, crossing her arms to emphasize she meant business.

"It's just Southern Comfort. I promise." Jasper said, looking a little disappointed when she sniffed at the brown alcohol, confirming the distinctly sweet scent before throwing it back.

"Okay, enough shots. I'll probably embarrass myself now by being the first one to pass out." Bella threw in gleefully, trying to convince herself she wasn't already feeling a little light-headed.

"I'm sure Jasper will make sure you get to bed if that happens, won't you Jasper?" Rachel giggled, not even trying to hide her intent.

Looking around Bella could see Paul was also grinning at the two of them. It was clear both he and Rachel thought there was more to their friendship than she did, but just as she was about to correct them, Rachel was giggling once again.

"Let's play a game. How about spin the bottle?" She grinned, but it was quickly replaced with a frown when three sets of voices shouted out 'no' emphatically. She knew the root of her response, but could only guess at both Paul and Jasper's, the latter of which who was now staring intently at his empty bottle of beer.

"Geez, fine. How about something else then? Strip poker?"

When no-one shot down her idea, Rachel seemed to take that as some form as accession, and she immediately set about trying to find a deck of cards. Bella didn't particularly want to play and when she toted up the flimsy layers she was wearing in comparison to her male cohorts, she spoke up.

"Umm, does anyone mind if I sit out?" But she wasn't going to get off that easily and after she was allowed to put on a few more layers, she was finally convinced that agreeing to play was the best and only way to get Rachel to shut up.

Quickly finishing off her beer, she reached for another, inhaling half of it in a reckless attempt to numb her nerves and hopefully bring out her inner poker playing goddess.

"Can you teach me how to play?" She asked quietly, her eyes meeting Jasper's for the first time when he was slow to respond.

"Have you played before?" He asked, staring back at her intently.

She shook her head and offered him a half smile, then watched as his eyes danced over to where Rachel was yelling about the decks of cards she'd found and back over to Bella's eyes again.

"It's easier if I explain as we go. Hey, Bella's never played before, so how about we have a practice round first?" Jasper asked, but it was obvious from his tone that he wasn't leaving much room for refusal. She picked it up quickly as with a streak of beginners luck in her pocket, she foolishly entered the real game with a gamblers confidence.

"Take it off Bella!" Rachel jeered, her eyes wild with excitement as her flush trumped Bella's pair of aces. On reflection, she decided it was a foolish hand to play, and as she pulled off her right shoe, she promised herself she wouldn't do it again.

The bottles of beer piled up around them, dwarfed only by the ever growing mountain of clothes and shoes. It wasn't the warmest night and as Bella shivered in her bra and boy-short panties, she found herself wriggling closer to Jasper, who was faring just a little better in his low slung jeans.

Initially he pushed her back, thinking this was a wily attempt at seeing his cards, but when he caught a shiver that ran all the way from the top of her spine, down to her toes, he pulled her close, his broad palm grasping at her bare stomach to pull her closer. Any feelings of inhibition were bypassed as she soaked up his warmth, grateful for his proximity.

"So Bella, you in?" Paul asked, grinning happily even though he was down to his boxers and nothing else. His confidence hadn't waned once and Bella didn't believe it ever would. Somewhere along the line, the game had evolved to include the loser streaking down to the lake for a midnight skinny dip and she was silently praying his bravado would see him completing the challenge.

"I'm out." She sighed, throwing down her useless cards in disgust.

Bella cheered in relief when Paul lost the hand. Taking his punishment with pride, Paul swaggered down to the lake, displaying not a hint of modesty as he stripped off his boxers, turned to wave and then dove perfectly beneath the black water. Rachel was after him in a flash, and as she wrapped herself around him in the cool waters, Bella grabbed her dress, throwing it over her head with a prudent pace, eager to eliminate the potential to contract pneumonia.

"Do you want to put this on?" Jasper asked, his shirt laying unbuttoned on his muscular chest as he held up his hooded sweater.

Staring at it wantonly, she nodded, drowning herself in his deep scent as she pulled it over her head, ruffling her hair in the process. She immediately felt a warmth pool in her depths and as the feeling grew to her extremities, she smiled in delight.

"You think we're gonna see them again?" Jasper asked, careful not to look over at the lake where a number of suspect noises were beginning to bounce off the water.

"I don't think so." She replied, her feelings falling neither way on loosing half their little group.

"You wanna go in, see if there's a movie on or something?" He asked, already on his feet and holding out his hand for her to take. She welcomed the contact, thinking he only wanted to help her to her feet, but as his fingers intertwined with her own, her feet stilled for just a fraction of a moment, before she decided it was a harmless friendly action.

Walking side by side into the house, he released her when they neared the couch, where Bella comfied herself as he reeled off a list of DVD's.

"Yeah, that one." She said when he finally said something she'd heard off, her lack of recognition over most of his titles even shocking herself.

"The Shining it is." He pushed in the little silver disk, but he didn't take the seat by her side, instead he walked off, returning with a bottle of scotch, two glasses and a thick blanket.

Settling down by her side, she unconsciously moved closer to him, not aware of just how close they really were.

"Did you get a lot done today?" He asked while handing her a glass of neat scotch as a car wove through a forest on the screen behind him.

"I did actually and I think one of my AE's just found a really amazing author too." She took a sip of her scotch and noticed how little burn she felt, a sure indication she was a lot further down the path to intoxication than she realized.

Jasper watched the glass lift to her lips and if she felt uncomfortable under his gaze, she didn't show it, a light smile falling on her lips as she remembered the words she imbibed earlier in the day. She noticed his intense assessment, so she stared back, noticing how his tan seemed to have deepened after only one day, the blonde mess of hair falling in his eyes making him look handsome in a dangerously innocent way.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, she shifted her whole frame to face the large flat screen television, hoping the movie would be able to capture her wayward mental rambles.

Luckily she was easily distracted and as the credits finally rolled, she extricated herself from his side, feeling the loss of his presence succinctly in the chill that took over without him so near. She was too drunk now to force the thought back, but also drunk enough to not wonder what it meant. Happily slinking away, she easily found her room, pausing in the doorway when she heard him calling her name.

Twirling around, she grinned at the pleasant spinning sensation, not aware that the action looked like she was smiling simply for him. He moved up close, too close she suddenly thought, the clarity of his actions finding purchase somewhere in her muddled mind.

She watched somewhat externally as he pushed a stray tendril of hair out of her face, the action riddled with purpose as he drew nearer, his eyes darting between her full lips and deep brown gaze. The breaths she had been unconsciously taking stopped suddenly and as he leaned down into her petite frame, her hand whipped up, pressing back against his taut chest.

His eyes whipped open, acutely aware that he was being rejected.

"We can't Jasper. I mean, just… it's not right is it? You were with her, and I'm me, and we're sisters Jasper…it's just…you don't know what you're doing and we should probably just forget this ever happened. Because it can't Jasper, you know that don't you? It just….can't."

He hadn't moved any further away and she could all but taste him he was so close, which wasn't helping in the construction of her words. She had stopped him on instinct and though they had done so much worse, now that she was aware they had never kissed, it seemed like the final frontier to her, the only thing keeping them safe from her choices. She didn't possess enough coherency to really think through her intentions, to analyze her choices; that would only come later. But for right now, she was pressing him back further, his dark eyes questioning her choices until she could close the door, effectively dismissing him as the slab of wood drew a partition between them.

Falling into bed, she slept easily, a deep dreamless slumber that would have left her feeling rested, if not for the pounding headache and dry tongue that accompanied the sharp streak of sunlight in her eyes. In her haste the night before, she had forgotten to pull the blinds and now she was paying for it as the dawn chorus sang out to her, as she stumbled to shut out the day.

Sleep didn't come again as she endlessly replayed the night before. Working through what had gone down between them, she rationalized Jasper's action down to a drunken mistake and nothing more. After all, what else could it be? She was just about to force her body into the shower when her phone vibrated noisily on the nightstand, Leah's name flashing cheerily on the screen.

"Hi Leah." Bella said, her voice still thick from a night's silence.

"Hey B. What're you doing? I haven't seen you in ages and thought maybe we could meet up for lunch?" Leah asked brightly.

Bella sat up, pushing the pillows to support her back as she considered just how much to tell her nosey friend.

"Actually Leah, I'm not in the city right now. How about tomorrow? We could do a late dinner?" The distraction was worth an effort, but she wasn't the least bit surprised when it didn't stick.

"So where are you then?"

"Umm, I'm staying at Jasper's cabin." She said lightly, before quickly adding, "Paul and Rachel are here too." Thinking about it, she wasn't sure why she felt the need to defend herself and she tried desperately not to, but she found herself placing the blame on the near kiss from the night before.

The line was silent for a long time and were it not for the other noises she could hear in the background, Bella would have been sure Leah had hung up.

"Jasper's cabin huh? I didn't even know he had one. So, you got something you want to tell me?"

Bella bit her lip unconsciously, the flesh bending easily under her ministrations.

"Yeah I do actually…"

She traversed through the minefield that was Edward's overheard conversation, followed by a pause while she forced her mouth shut, wanting to talk about the near kiss, but feeling a desperate need to keep it for herself.

"Wow, so what do you think they're doing? I mean we all know Edward's a dick, but Alice? I didn't even think he was that stupid."

Bella sat up just a little straighter, hoping she would finally get some answers to her questions.

"Everyone keeps saying that, about Edward I mean. What do you know Leah?" Bella kept her voice light, and Leah didn't disappoint.

"Seriously B, how do you not know? He's had his dick in anything that's blonde with tits, that's why he went into private practice because he's fucked so many of the nurses and Rosalie found out and forced him out. Apparently he's only allowed to employ guys now, but it was pretty obvious that wasn't going to stop him for long. Please tell me we aren't just going to let this go B? This has the potential to bring them both down."

Bella sat in contemplative silence, wondering why she hadn't thought of this, why it hadn't even occurred to her that she had a stick of dynamite poised at the tips of her fingers. Hearing Leah so easily rip the old Edward she'd known to shreds, she finally trusted in what she'd been assuming. But if Alice really was fucking Edward, did they really need her help?

"Don't you think they're just going to fuck it all up on their own? I mean from what you've said Edward doesn't care about discretion and the last I heard Alice was acting like a psycho stalker, I doubt it's going to stay a secret for long."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Have a think about it though, it's a pretty glaring opportunity. So, how's Jasper? And more to the point how're you and Jasper?" Leah asked and Bella could imagine her bouncing up and down with excited energy.

"Jasper's fine, well he's probably got a pretty bad headache right now, but I don't know what you mean Lee, what about me and Jasper?" Bella asked, hoping there was nothing more than innocence in her voice.

"Oh fuck the coy B. You're in his cabin on some couples getaway; I can't believe you thought you would get away with that without a whole heap of questions coming your way. Is there something going on with the two of you?"

Bella forced herself to her feet and filled a glass with water as Leah rambled on, her words striking several exposed nerves with ease. Relishing in the cool feel of the water as it quenched her arid mouth, Bella took her time, realizing for the first time what this little weekend getaway looked like. Leah was right.

"Firstly, I didn't know they would be here…" She argued, but Leah was all over it before she could get any further.

"Hold up! You agreed to go away with Jasper for the weekend, thinking you would be alone?" She paused and Bella felt her defenses rise, knowing she had gone into this trip with innocent intentions. "And now you want me to believe there's nothing going on between you two? If it's about Alice B, you need to let that go. So what if he used to date her; is it because you're worried people will talk?"

Bella felt like she'd allowed Leah to go on too long and stepped in firmly. "Leah. Whatever the fuck you have going through your head, scrap it. We're friends. There is nothing going on between us, we're friends and that's it."

She could hear the harsh edge to her words and wondered if she should apologize, but it had come out as she became aware of just how many lies she'd just told.

"Okay B. Whatever you want to believe. You can bet your cute little ass I'm going to be calling Jasper as soon as we're done though. That kid couldn't lie to me if his life depended on it."

Bella wondered if this was a rouse to pry more information from her stubborn mouth, but she told herself to quit with the paranoia and remained silent.

"Speaking of which B, if you aren't going to spill those guts of yours, I'm going to hang up."

They arranged to meet later on in the week but as Bella lay her cell phone back down on her nightstand, she thought about what she'd said, analyzing her actions to find a fallacy. She didn't know for sure, but she was fairly sure that Jasper felt the same, that he had made a drunken pass and nothing more. Nothing he would try again in the light of day and it was probably something he was regretting right this very moment.

Thinking over her reaction, she didn't allow herself to consider the alternative, to wonder what could have been if she had been just a little less aware, or a little more instinctual. She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed, but she was worried that he would be, that it would affect their friendship in some way. The possibility lingered and as she massaged shampoo into her hair, it grew to something uncomfortable.

The thought of losing him was unthinkable, but it pushed her down a path she hadn't really imagined she would ever consider.

She didn't want to lose him and at some point that was bound to happen. Their friendship had been built around one huge lie and only now that she actually cared about keeping him in her life, did that fact send spasms of anxiety through her gut.

There were several paths laid out in front of her, but only one would free her of a burden she was only mildly aware she was carrying. That was probably why, in the morning aftermath of a carefree night, she decided it was time to free herself of the shackles she'd chained to her own wrists. It was time he knew the truth.

* * *

**a/n: Yey, midweek post! I'm working hard on chapter 23 right now, but I can't promise it's delivery, but now it'll be mid-next week at the VERY latest. **

**Thank you as always to my wonderful beta, Twiticulate. I wish I could send her more than gnomes in the way of thanks, but sadly my wish-granting genie is on strike! **

**Also a huge thanks to my lovely pre-reader, Liamsgurl33, posting chaps is so much easier with a little boost of encouragement.**

**To all of you who are reading/reviewing/alerting and generally enjoying this story - thank you so, so, so much... maybe when the genie's back off strike I'll send him your way too!**

**x  
**


	23. Inexpiable

The truck that until now had been thundering through the twilight, turned abruptly, muffling the country music that had once filled the empty streets. A few stray heads turned as they whistled past, their eyes filled with disapproval as Jasper swung the vehicle into a parking spot at breakneck speed.

Turning off the ignition, the cab was filled was a sharp silence, making Bella shuffle in her seat. The whole two hour drive home, she'd been contemplating how and when she should have the dreaded conversation with him, but the only thing she'd finalized, was that it shouldn't happen now.

"So, you're going out of town?" She asked, even though she knew the answer already, after all they'd spoken about it only a few hours ago.

"Yep, Texas until Thursday." He didn't turn to look at her and the distance which had existed between them all day only seemed to grow.

She'd tried to act as though nothing untoward had happened between them, but Jasper was currently sitting in the Team Avoidance stands, waving one of those big foam fingers to show his allegiance.

"Jasper, we need to talk. I think after last night there are things which you need to know, for both of us." He flinched, his head finally turning, his eyes meeting hers, void of any discernible emotion.

"Next weekend?" He asked, no light coming to his eyes, making him impossible for Bella to read.

"Yeah, do you think maybe I could come to your house, I just think that might be better?"

He nodded and though she could feel his reluctance, he exited the cab and grabbed her bags before she could stop him. He walked her to the elevator and when the doors opened and he stepped in, she wondered how much further he was going to go for her.

"Jasper? Please don't be like this. It wasn't a big deal, really." Bella pleaded, desperate for some reprieve to the tension that she was swallowing in big suffocating gulps. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and then he looked away, nodding. It was more obvious to her than ever, if she ever wanted to call him her friend again, everything needed to be out in the open.

"Next weekend." Jasper said, effectively ending anything further she wanted to say. She hoped that a week would give her the time to figure out whatever was upsetting him, because if she was honest, she assumed they would both wake up today and act as though the previous night hadn't happened.

"Don't bother." Bella said as he reached down to help her with her bags again. Hoisting both over her shoulder before he could protest, she stepped out onto her floor, completely unsurprised when he made no move to follow.

"I'll call you later in the week?" Bella asked, but the doors took away any response, even though she doubted there would have been one. The weekend had pulled so far away from her early bliss that as she stepped back into her blissful sanctuary, she couldn't stop her maddening thoughts.

The evening turned quickly to night, and when night became morning, she woke feeling agitated and acutely alone. It wasn't easy to admit, but her mind wasn't focused on anything but Jasper, Jasper and his easy charm, Jasper and his gentle friendship, Jasper and the way he leaned in close.

Arriving in the office an hour before anyone else was probably even awake, she flopped back into the cold leather of her chair, welcoming an old friend as she nestled into the familiarity of its support. Pushing through her preoccupation to attend to her usual Monday morning routine, she was overtly glad that such a thing existed. It tided over her mind until midday, and only when she surfaced for air did Jasper flop right back into the center of her focus.

"Bella? Did you check your calendar this morning? Because you have a lunch in ten."

"Shit!" She mumbled under her breath as she clicked her mouse furiously, hoping what Seth was saying wasn't true. But of course it was and as she scrambled to toss everything she would need into her purse, she cursed her mental distraction.

"I'll call the restaurant and Mr. Dawn to let them know you got caught up in traffic." Seth whirled out of her office and she was hot on his heels, thanking him over her shoulder, while making a mental note that she really needed to do something to reward his efficiency.

Her cab flew across town and while her leg bounced up and down in anticipation, there was simply no doubting that she was to blame for this epic fail.

For the rest of the week she overcompensated to the extreme and by Friday, she was in a self-loathing funk, only compounded by the awareness of the self-inflicted conversation that the weekend would bring. She had spoken briefly with Jasper the night before, firming up their plans to meet Saturday evening at seven. He'd left no room for refusal when he said he would order in food, but the idea of eating, of spending however short a period of time looking in his eyes and withholding something so vital; it turned her stomach. The whole thing did actually and it wasn't a lie to say she'd eaten very little all week, her stomach dropping into a whirlpool whenever she tried.

"Bella, don't stay too late okay? Go home and have some fun." She lifted her head slowly, not really wanting to endure this conversation with Peter, who obviously seemed to think he was telling her something she didn't already know.

"I won't. I'm leaving in a few." Bella didn't comment on the fun part, and he didn't seem to notice as he inclined his head and walked away, leaving her alone. Normally it would have been a lie, but she'd been reading the past page for over an hour, forced back time and again when she got to the next page and realized she had no idea what was going on. Flipping off the lights to her office, she wallowed out towards the elevators, ignoring her phone when it began to trill loudly in her bag, after all she couldn't think of one single person she wanted to talk to right now.

The walk home was slower and more tiring than any had ever been before and by the time she finally set foot in her apartment, the manuscript burning a hole in the bottom of her bag was tossed aside onto a nearby chair. She headed straight for bed, carelessly throwing off her clothes as she went, before burying herself beneath the cool sheets. Her body shut down before her mind could and she fell into a deep sleep, a contorted set of nightmares followed right behind.

She woke up a sweaty muddle of limbs and sheets, her mind plagued with visions of Jasper running right back into Alice's arms, and it wasn't a far stretch to imagine being Rosalie there too. Groaning loudly, Bella pushed her unkempt hair out of her face, looking at her clock to begin the countdown to the destruction of her relationship with Jasper.

Seven am.

She sighed, pushing herself back down to try for one last slice of oblivion. Because twelve hours, twelve complete hours, twelve cycles of a warn hand, was simply too long. She wasn't asleep, but she wasn't awake either and during her half fledged encounter in the abyss, this time the dreams were of her own construction, or so she thought. He wasn't there, but then no-one was really, she was simply content to be, content because they had never come back into her life and in her blissful dream state, they never would.

The world finally descended in its full force at midday and by then she was ready to have her thoughts taken away, at any cost. The afternoon was officially tortuous and on several occasions, she almost called Jasper to cancel. Each time something held her back, but only just.

By six she was dressed and ready to go, empowered only slightly by her favorite jeans and a comfortable hooded sweater, one she'd only procured since her new endeavor into Jasper's world. Curling up in the corner of the sofa, she flipped on the television, landing on a rolling news station that was showing some feature on a celebrity she couldn't even pretend to know.

The seconds ticked by slowly and while her eyes were glued on the screen, they were focused on one tiny corner, the one counting down the minutes laboriously.

Six thirty finally arrived and she was hitting the call button for the elevator, jamming her thumb down repeatedly in irate impatience.

"You know it doesn't come any faster, no matter how many times you push the button." Her thumb didn't abate and she didn't even pause to look up, this was not the mood she wanted to be in when she met one of her neighbors. Actually strike that, she thought, she didn't want to meet them at all. Stepping into the elevator, she averted her eyes, wishing she were alone. The thought persisted all the way across town as the cab driver made endless attempts at friendly banter, all of which she threw off rudely. Finally they arrived and now that he was within touching distance, she wasn't sure if she had the courage to move.

Her feet hit the gravel path with a tentative stride, because although this was a necessary evil, it was one she desperately didn't want to endure. The front door held an awkward familiarity and when her finger depressed effortlessly on the doorbell, she took her final breath as she waited to see him again.

The wooden barricade swung back, exposing her to his assessing eyes, trailing over her body as if he were assessing her for changes.

"Hey." Bella offered, her voice soft and tentative. He stepped aside, not leaving enough room and forcing her body to brush against his as she entered. She looked around for an impending bundle of fur, so when none came she peered up and down the halls hopefully.

"Where's Otis?" The question was left unanswered as he led her through to the kitchen, pausing to point at the patio doors where Otis was positively vibrating with excitement behind a shield of glass.

"Can he come in?" She asked and again she received no answer as he simply walked to the door and released a rambunctious black beast with a simple whoosh.

"Hey buddy. Did you miss me?" Bella crouched down to meet him, laughing softly when he nearly took her out with his enthusiastic paws. She rubbed his fur in the spots she knew he liked best, pleased that at least someone in this house was happy to see her. When his excitement died down, she forced herself to look up, catching Jasper's eye immediately.

"How was Texas?" She tried at a little conversation as she rose to her feet, smiling when Otis walked with her over to the kitchen counter.

"Good. Very good actually. I think maybe I landed a new client." Jasper smiled and she easily reciprocated.

"Food should be here in a few minutes. I thought about cooking for you, but I got caught up today with work, so…" His words fell away and she was astounded that he would even consider going to any lengths for her, especially since he seemed so distant still.

They filled the time with small talk, but it was stilted and difficult, something which Bella was sure was down to her nerves, because once or twice she caught Jasper looking at her cautiously. The food arrived and with it her mouth and hands had something to do, something intrinsically easier to occupy them with.

Pushing her plate aside, Bella knew it was time. Jasper had laid down his fork a few minutes earlier and as a stalling method, she placed her plate atop of his and lifted both to the sink.

"Here, let me do that." He said, striding to her side and relieving her of her effortless burden. Opening a hidden dishwasher, Bella pushed herself back into the cabinets, wishing she hadn't found herself in such a resolved place.

"Can we go in the living room maybe? Or outside?" The temperatures had dropped significantly as they strode into September, but she didn't think she would feel the chill beneath her trepidation. Luckily though, he led her back through to the living room, one she hadn't actually sat in before.

Trailing her fingers over the fabric of the sofa, she eased herself down into the opposite corner to the one he'd taken. She eyed him patiently, thinking of the best way to start.

"I have something to tell you, well, a lot of things actually. But I think it's time we talked." She paused, drawing her legs up to her chest for some worthless brand of comfort. "I've told you a little about Alice and me, how we were when we grew up and what happened with Edward, but I left out the most important part. Well, I left out everything really."

Jasper's eyes were open, welcoming her in, but it didn't stop her fidgeting under his easy gaze.

"I know you didn't have a brother or sister growing up, but when the whole thing happened with Alice and Edward, I felt really betrayed. It's seems really stupid now, but at the time I needed a way out, so when I got the letter from Oxford saying I'd been accepted, it seemed too good to be true. I escaped in every sense of the word, but three years later I actually _wanted _to come back, _wanted_ to forget everything that had come before. My boyfriend who I'd met in Oxford was from the States, so we moved back together. His name was Jacob." She looked to him for some reaction, but just saying his name out loud made her feel weaker. When Jasper didn't seem to react, she ploughed on.

"I landed a really great job and we moved in to this little apartment in Scottsdale. Alice really helped us out to get settled. Anyway, we were there for about six months when I got notice at work that I would either have to take redundancy or move to Chicago. Alice and I had been getting on so well and I wasn't ready to let that go, so I decided I would stay put and never let Alice and Jacob know I'd be offered another option. Anyway, I was about to announce to my boss that I was staying put when I got this little email."

Up until this very point, Bella had been unsure whether she was going to tell him _everything_, but now she knew that it was important, he needed to know and understand the true source of her motivation.

"Rosalie had sent me a video, and I'm not sure what I expected, but it definitely wasn't to see my boyfriend fucking my twin and her best friend."

She sat back, not able to raise her eyes to see his reaction, because if there was just a fragment of doubt or prior knowledge there, she knew she would be irreparably broken.

"Anyway, I did the only thing I was good at by that point; I ran. I told the publishing house I was all for the move and then I went home and packed my bags. I know that when I put it into words now it doesn't sound like such a life altering thing, but you have to understand what she meant to me. First with Edward and then with Jacob, she just tore apart everything I believed in."

Jasper's body inched forward, looking to offer her some comfort, but she held up her hand, knowing he needed to hear everything first.

"I didn't talk to her for six years, but it wasn't a misunderstanding…"

"About that Bella…" He said, interrupting her, but she simply held up her hand, effectively stopping him mid sentence, knowing she needed to get through this while she still had the courage.

"I don't know what she told you Jasper, and maybe someday you'll let me know, but I'm certain Alice knew exactly what she was doing and maybe after seeing her for who she really is, I understand more, but I'll never forgive it. Anyway, when she called me back in April, telling me she was coming to live here, I was devastated. I can't even tell you I wasn't thinking rationally, because I had a long time to get my head together." Bella paused, mustering her resolve to go on.

"I wanted to hurt her in the worst possible way. I wanted to show her that she couldn't just walk into my life and fuck everything up again. I came up with an idea and I'm not proud of it Jasper, but you need to know."

Before she could say another word, he was talking, his voice cold and hard. "You wanted to break us up."

It was neither a question, nor a possibility for redemption, but she gave him the truth, that which he rightfully deserved.

"I wanted to do to her what she'd done to me. I didn't know you at the time and to be honest even though I knew you would probably end up hurt, I didn't care. It was worth it. At the time, it was worth it."

"So when I fucked you?"

She balked at the venom in his voice, the crude choice of words, even though they were aptly used. She shook her head, because there was no way to make him understand.

"I don't know how to explain it, because you won't believe me. But I never intended to sleep with you. I just wanted you to fall for me, to choose me over her." A single tear slipped down her cheek as the magnitude of her actions set in, the stark truth that he would never be able to forgive her for this.

"So you wanted me to fall in love with you? Knowing you would never feel the same?"

Her tears were falling freely now and his harsh anger settled around her heart, it was engulfed in shame.

"No. I wanted to hurt Alice. I didn't know you, I didn't care…" Taking in a faltering breath, Bella wrapped her arms around her legs, pulling her whole body in.

The silence pushed down on her body, filling the air with discomfort. She looked up through tear glazed eyes to see him looking over her shoulder, his focus lost in thought.

Suddenly he snapped back, his blue eyes hard against her own. "So, why now? What happened to make you tell the truth? I mean you could have walked away when it was all done, but you didn't."

Grasping onto her own faulted decisions throughout the past few months, Bella tried to find the answers he was looking for.

"Because I'm selfish… that's why I'm telling you now. Because you're the first person I've wanted to call my friend in six years, and I can't do that with this hanging over my head. Because you mean something to me and that scares the shit out of me, and I don't want to lose you, but you need to know. You need to know everything before you can decide if you'll ever be able to forgive me."

Bella swiped her sleeve across her eyes, knowing he didn't deserve her self-pity and she didn't deserve his sympathy.

"Okay. So why didn't you just let me go? I mean, you got what you wanted."

She sighed, knowing this question was far harder to answer. "I tried. But then you came to my apartment and it was all wrong. Peter was there and I just couldn't do it, it wasn't the right time. Then at the hospital, I tried to get you to back off, but you wouldn't have it, you were so hell bent on finding some redemption that you didn't want to listen to me… I know I didn't try hard Jasper, but my intention was never to hurt you."

Jasper's eyes whipped around, meeting hers with a deathly glare. "But that was exactly what you planned, wasn't it?"

Choking on the lump of tears she was desperately trying to suppress in her throat, Bella took a moment to catch her breath.

"No. I was trying to hurt Alice. I just didn't care about her fiance. I care about you." She whispered out the last part, feeling entirely exposed within her confession.

"Yeah, but that's me isn't it? Whether you meant to or not Bella, I was part of your plan."

He closed his eyes and Bella would have given anything to understand where his train of thought was. She remained perfectly still as he threw his head back.

"I'm gonna call you a cab." The words were final as he stood, walking away from her with his shoulders down.

He was gone for far longer than the time it would take to make a phone call, but she didn't move an inch, slovenly tears inching down her cheeks as she considered how it would feel to no longer know she had him in her life.

Hearing footsteps down the tiled hall, she watched and waited for him to appear, but when he finally did she actually gasped aloud. His eyes were filled with such pain that she was at her feet in a second, rushing to his side. She stopped herself short, keeping a careful distance, knowing he probably wouldn't appreciate her proximity.

"I thought you wanted to tell me that the whole drunken kiss thing was inappropriate. I didn't really want to hear that… but this? Well, I need some time to think about this Bella."

He took a thick drink of the glass of amber liquid he was holding in his hand, his eyes meeting hers directly.

"Do you hate me?" She pleaded, not caring how weak she sounded.

But he simply shook his head. "Is this everything? Because if you walk out of here tonight and I find out you kept something from me..."

The hint of possibility he was offering floored her. Her spirits soared, before she shook them off, knowing it would be a long haul before she could regain his trust. Pushing her teeth down hard into her lip, she knew she was going to break a loyalty with her words.

"Leah knows. She knows everything…." Taking a breath, wondering if her betrayal would leave her completely alone, she soldiered on. "And I overheard something when I came to watch you guys play football. I'm not positive, but I heard Edward on the phone with Alice, and I got.. Well… I got the impression that maybe there was something going on between the two of them."

He didn't react though, not a single muscular twitch, until he lifted his arm once again, pouring the last inch of liquid down his throat. It was a lot to take in during one night, but there was nothing she could do about that.

Slipping from one foot to the other, she shifted her weight in apprehension; waiting for the reaction she was sure must be bubbling underneath his carefully guarded exterior. After all, he was one of those people who had told her just what an ass Edward was. But he disappointed her once again, as he turned away and stalked back down the hall, leaving her to follow behind tepidly.

Standing in the kitchen, she watched as he refilled his glass, carelessly pouring the liquid nearly all the way to the brim. He took a long drink and then slammed the glass down, sending the contents swirling up over the edges in distress.

"I don't know what the fuck you want me to say Bell. That you're off the hook because he was probably fucking her all along?"

Bella closed her eyes and pushed her body against the doorway, needing the support even if it was lifeless.

"Fuck!" He threw his head back and called out to no-one in particular.

Pushing herself further into the wall, Bella grimaced, knowing it wouldn't be long before his anger found its true source. Unable to wait for what she was sure was to come, she stepped back, cowardly letting her body slip into the shadows.

She watched him as he fought against his torment, but she wasn't the least bit relieved when the doorbell rang, announcing her time was up. They both looked to the hall and though she thought he would let her just slip away, he followed behind at an arms length.

Just as the cold air hit her skin, she whirled around, feeling a torrent of emotions as his deeply forlorn eyes met hers.

"What do you need Jasper? Because even though I might not have said it. I _am _sorry. I'm so very, very sorry."

He stared back, no flicker of any recognition that he'd heard her words, but just as she was about to turn and walk away, he finally spoke.

"I don't hate you Bella. But I don't like you very much right now either and I definitely don't trust you."

Thinking maybe he would say more, she lingered, but as the seconds passed, her optimism pulled back. Reality dawned and she stepped away, grasping that he wasn't going to leave her with anything more. Desperate to step forward and wrap herself around him, she drew her arms around her chest, embracing herself in solitary comfort as she walked towards her waiting cab.

He watched her until she could see him no longer and it wasn't until the lights of the city bounced down on the polished veneer of the cab did she turn her head. Tearing her eyes away, she looked down at her cell phone noting she'd only been away for two hours. But somehow she knew, it would be a pocket of time that right or wrong, would indelibly change her life forever.

* * *

**a/n: I'm so sorry folks, but like everyone else I had issues posting this past week. But on the plus side, (as long as ff continues to let me upload docs) you'll have the next chapter by midweek. **

**An extra special thanks to both my beta Twiticulate, who I don't have words to describe, and pre-reader Liamsgurl33 - this week has been such an interesting one and these gals have rocked some extra special socks. **

**Also a huge thanks to all you readers, if I haven't said it enough, you make writing so much easier just to know there's someone on the other end of the words.  
**

**Til next time. xxx  
**


	24. Intersperse

One week easily became two, and then two rolled seamlessly into four. She'd stopped looking at her phone with hope each time it vibrated or beeped, because she had come to the glaringly obvious conclusion that he wasn't ready to talk.

Work had kept her halfway occupied and even though she'd attempted to convince herself that she lived out six years under these conditions quite merrily, she just wasn't buying it anymore. Turning the lights off in her office, Bella started the long walk home, the knowledge that she had to endure another weekend alone made the steps she was taking just a little heavier.

Striding out of the elevator, she was halfway across the crisp marble filled lobby when her phone buzzed, indicating someone had left her a voicemail. It could be from any number of people, she thought, but there was only one she wanted it to be. Pressing the phone against her ear, she allowed herself just a moment of disappointment before giving Leah her full attention.

"…so I need you to call me as soon as you get this. Oh and I'm not taking no for an answer."

Naturally flummoxed, Bella immediately hit the little green button to adhere to Leah's ambiguous request.

"Hey B. You got my message then." Leah began, not stopping to take a breath before she barreled on. "So, I'm organizing this charity thing and I need you to help. Now before you say anything, just hear me out okay?"

Bella knew whatever this was, she wasn't going to enjoy it, but nonetheless she offered a temporary assent.

"Great. Well, I'm doing a bachelor auction in two weeks time, and it's for a great cause…" Leah waxed lyrical about just what the money she raised would do to help women with breast cancer, but Bella was ashamed to admit she was only half listening. "So, can I count you in?" Leah asked in a pleading voice full of saccharine sweetness, letting her know there was something she missed. "Umm, what exactly was it you wanted me to do?" Bella mumbled, while trying to concentrate on crossing the street, something which came a little harder these days.

"Are you okay Bella? You seem a little distracted. Is it still the Jasper thing?" Her voice had taken on a soft undertone and Bella wondered if Leah knew something she wasn't telling.

"Sorry… Umm, no it's nothing like that. It's just been a pretty tough week at the office and I'm ready to just shut down." If only she was willing to tell the truth, to let Leah in and share that work just didn't possess that 'thing' for her anymore, that everyday was a chore to drag her body out of bed and pretend to still manifest that searing drive she was known for. It was truly exhausting and the only thing keeping her going was a stubborn sense of pride. It didn't hurt that she had nothing else; after all, if she wasn't a worker bee, she wasn't anything.

"Well, why don't we do something this weekend? Take your mind off everything. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, just drinks or even the movies."

Bella couldn't remember the last time she'd been to the movies, but the idea of spending her weekend doing anything other than wallowing with her cell phone tucked neatly into her side, felt like it required way too much energy and effort.

"Sorry Leah, but I can't. I got a couple meetings this weekend and between that and everything else I have going on, I just don't have the time." Bella shrugged her shoulders, even though she knew Leah couldn't see the action, it was intrinsically attached to her current spiraling emotions. The lies came readily to her lips and she felt no shame when Leah seemed to accept them with ease.

"Okay, but next weekend, we have to do something. After all, we need to finalize things for my charity event."

Bella's eyes creased down in confusion once again.

"Yeah could we maybe go over that once again?" Bella asked cautiously.

Leah tutted impatiently into the phone, letting Bella know this was something they had already discussed, or Leah had discussed at any length. "Seriously Bella, I'll send you an email with everything in writing, that way you can't tell me in a weeks time that you have no idea what you're doing."

"The thing is Leah, I didn't exactly agree to anything yet." But as Bella spoke she knew already that it was futile, that whatever it was that Leah was cooking up was going to involve her, whether she agreed now, or in two weeks time under duress.

"Yeah, but you will, anyway its an auction, you can look it up on the website if you want to find out more details in the meantime. Oh I've been meaning to ask you, have you heard anything further from Alice?" Leah switched the subject matter with ease.

Bella enjoyed thinking about Alice almost as much as she enjoyed thinking about Jasper. But where one's absence left her with feelings of loneliness and guilt, the other filled her with an eerie sense of foreboding.

"No, nothing. Not since I overheard her and Edward on the phone. I figure she's switched targets, probably taking her crazy obsessions out on him." Bella mused, as she finally stepped in out of the cold, inclining her head to the doorman who was busy chatting on his own cell phone.

"About that B, I heard something and I don't know what you're going to think about it. But I think it's better coming from me…" The phone went dead as the elevator ascended and Bella cursed loudly as her stomach plummeted to the floor with an ominous dread. Jamming her finger against the button for her floor in anger, she desperately willed the machinery to rise faster. With impatient steps, she slid through the doors the moment they opened and straight away redialed Leah, using her shoulder to press the phone against her ear as she wrestled her keys into her door.

"Bella? Did you hang up on me?" Leah asked, her pitch higher than usual with a sense of disbelief.

"No, it was the stupid elevator. What were you going to tell me?" Bella threw down her messenger bag and stepped into her living room, kicking off her heels and creeping down into the corner of her sofa. The cold leather rustled around her, but offered little in the way of comfort.

Leah sighed, obviously unhappy about having to do this again. "I was going to tell you that Sam told me he'd seen Jasper out with Alice."

Bella's eyes darted around the room, looking for somewhere to find purchase. Her heart carried on beating, her lungs still pressed in and out, but she felt a pressure on her chest that she didn't understand. Leah had predicted this, begged her not to tell him the truth because it would likely lead him back into Alice's arms. But Bella had opened her mouth and spread her guilt, with what she now wasn't sure was more than a selfish need for redemption.

"B? Are you still there? Maybe you should call Paul, find out what he knows. After all I seriously doubt it's as bad as Sam made out." Leah tentatively tried, her voice only invading Bella's peripheries.

"Maybe," she tried the word out, although she knew the call would never be made. It had taken her a month to face that Jasper wasn't going to forgive her; she wondered how long it would take for her to rationalize out his decision to forgive Alice and not her.

"B. It doesn't necessarily mean what you think it does." Leah tried again, coaxing Bella to open up with her.

But the damage was already done.

They hung up with Bella feeling a whole new series of emotions, but the most conflicting was the debilitating sadness that seemed only to grow as the weekend bore on. By Monday morning, she was eager to get back to work, but it was only as a method to escape her thoughts, to distract herself from her misery.

In a complete reversal of character, the minute she had ended the call with Leah, her finger had remained compressed on the red icon, feeling nothing but relief when the screen had reflected back her melancholy eyes and nothing else.

Now that she was back at her desk, her hair tied up in its uniform knot and her suit fastidiously pressed, she turned the thing back on again, a twinge of irritation setting in as it pinged over and over again, alerting her to an endless stream of messages.

She worked her way through the series of voices, some with a genuine need for her time, while others were simply begging for someone to hold their hand. Each message was scribbled down, a number next to it designating its importance until finally there was only one left. The person who said 'the best was left for last', obviously hadn't been referring to this situation.

Hoping for something positive to distract her fragile mood, she turned up the volume on her speakerphone. The voice that filled her office was neither professional nor friendly, but was taunting and hard, like a whole army of nails being scratched down a chalkboard.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. I thought I was quite clear when we last spoke. I thought you understood the consequences of your actions, but obviously I underestimated you. When I told you to stay the fuck away from Edward little girl, I meant it." The line went dead and as she frowned in disbelief, a thought cropped up into her mind. With nothing left to lose, she scrolled through her phone once again, because unless she was very sorely mistaken, Rosalie had made a terrible mistake, a very foolish one that was going to cost her everything. Hitting dial, she listened to the ringing tone, tapping her nails against her knee until she heard a friendly chime telling her to leave a message. Smiling to herself, she finally accepted the fate which she'd designed for herself all those months ago.

"Hi Alice, it's Bella. I just got a lovely voicemail from Rosalie and I think we need a chat, don't you? Give me a call back when you get this."

The devilish smile that had graced her lips slipped away, fairly sure that even though she was seeing through her choices, there was simply no satisfaction to be found there anymore.

It took longer than Bella expected for Alice to return her call and the lackadaisical response time left her wondering about her twins true frame of mind. After all, this was her oldest friend they were talking about, but then again Alice had never really had a problem in screwing over those she claimed were her nearest and dearest.

The call came while Bella was stuck in a management meeting, listening to numbers and percentages with none of her usual intensity. Looking down at the name on her screen, she longed to excuse herself and take the call, but years of professional etiquette didn't just disappear overnight.

The minute the meeting was done though, she was the first out the door, locking herself away in her office, regardless of the strange look she caught on Seth's face as she tore past.

"Hey Belly. It's so funny, I was just thinking about you and then there you were, leaving me one of your funny little messages on my phone. I would love to meet you; after all, we have so much to talk about. I can't wait to hear from you sweetie."

Bella mentally shook herself as she received a vocal reminder of Alice's very own brand of no consequences, knowing she just needed to get through this encounter before she could officially walk away from these tumultuous past six months and her own terrible self inflicted circumstances.

Knowing if she took the time to think about it, she might discover some more logical side of her, a side that might not think this was the best course of action, she immediately picked up her phone.

"Belly!" Alice cheered and Bella could imagine her sister's wide smile gracing her face, full of sincere enthusiasm.

"Hi Alice. I'm in between meetings so I don't really have long to speak, but I was wondering when you were available this week." Bella was all hard lines and stern edges, highlighting their differences once again.

"Ooooh, of course. Do you want to go to the zoo with me this weekend? I've been dying to go and no-one will come with me?" Alice threw out randomly, making Bella's eyes twitch uncomfortably.

"Umm, no Alice, I don't. How about something a little more conventional like drinks? I know a great cocktail bar."

But Alice seemed to be stuck on crazy, so in the end they met in the middle, agreeing to meet for afternoon tea, something which Bella felt was ridiculous given the circumstances. After all, it was a ritual surrounded by polite grace and manners; something Alice was incapable of respecting.

Bella was still feeling uncomfortable with the notion when the waiter led her to the table, the weekend clientele looking to be seen as they dressed in their finest ensembles.

"Belly!" Alice called, standing up to wave and drawing a few condescending looks from the ladies surrounding her as Bella approached. Trying to keep her composure, Bella nodded slightly, thanking the waiter and immediately ordering a sharp Chablis to compliment her mood. Alice gripped her menu, scanning it frantically before placing it down, her eyes nostalgic for a time Bella didn't care to remember. "Can I get a Shirley temple please? Do you remember when we used to order them when we went out with Charlie, Belly? And we thought they were real cocktails."

Bella could remember doing exactly that, but she wasn't here to indulge Alice's fantasies anymore, so she responded with a curt. "No, I don't. I try not to remember anything from our past."

The young waiter's eyes widened into saucers, as he all but tripped over his feet to get away from Bella's pointed stare.

"Oh don't be like that Belly. I thought you were over all that silliness, especially since you slept with Jasper."

Bella clenched her teeth in shock, trying to tame her gut reaction. Alice, who Bella expected to be gripped by heartache, or at the very least anger, seemed content in her little bubble of happiness.

"How did you know?" Bella asked, her words paced evenly as she attempted to gather herself.

"Oh, he told me silly. We went to dinner and told me all about it. I told him it didn't matter really, not when everything is going to work out so well anyway. Isn't it Belly?"

The nickname was beginning to grate on her last nerve, but Bella knew it was minor, as so many questions roared in her mind.

"Oh sweetie, you should have just told me you liked him, if you really wanted him. I would have just given him to you, and now that I've thought about it, you would be wonderful together. Oh and think, wouldn't it be lovely, you could keep all the old pictures up of me and him and just pretend they're you." Alice nipped gently at her straw as Bella searched for a fragment of malice within her. Finding nothing but a gaping hole of confusion and pity, a chill settled deep in Bella's bones, because whatever version of Alice this was, it wasn't one capable of accepting social norms.

"I don't think that's going to happen Alice, but I appreciate the sentiment. So when are you going to tell Rosalie about you and Edward? You know it won't take her long to figure it out." Bella wondered whether she should just leave now, because Alice patently wasn't well.

"Oh Belly, no, you have to keep that a secret. It's a surprise for Rosie. She's going to be so happy when she finds out." Alice all but leapt forward, sending Bella flying in the back of her chair in reaction, but her hands were too slow to follow and Alice grabbed at them, gripping them far too tightly as her nails found purchase.

"What kind of surprise?" Bella asked cautiously, keeping a fake smile on her face, hoping it would be enough.

"No, no, no Belly, I can't tell you, not yet anyway. But soon I promise, just a few more weeks. Until then you'll just have to pretend you're fucking Edward, after all it's not so hard to believe now is it?"

Ripping her hands away in disgust, Bella shook her head, trying to come up with something, anything, to make this situation better.

"Alice?" Bella started, her voice low and soothing, talking to her sister like a feral animal. "When they had you in the hospital, what did they say to you?" Unconsciously moving her body forward slightly, Bella was troubled when Alice trilled out a little bubble of laughter.

"Oh Belly, they just said what they always say." Alice grinned, unperturbed by their topic of conversation.

"Which is?" Bella pressed, waiting for a revelation that would get this whole mind fuck to make a little more sense.

"Oh the usual, eat more vegetables, exercise, and take your meds. Nothing I haven't heard before." Alice said easily, her head cocking to the side as if Bella had said something intriguing.

"So, do you want to go to the zoo or not?" Alice said, sitting back as if this was the question on which they entire conversation had been based. Bella figured she'd heard enough and with a flick of her wrist, she laid down a couple bills on the table, not bothering to come up with a viable excuse for leaving.

"Alice, I think it's safe to say that whatever's going on with you, it's not healthy. But you're a grown woman and you've managed to get this far without my help. I brought myself down to your level because in my head you were this huge monster, but the funny thing is, I think if I'd just left you to it, you would have fucked up just fine by yourself."

Standing up, Bella looked down on Alice for the longest time, her mind bombarded by conflicting thoughts. Walking away she wasn't sure how she should feel anymore. Alice had flipped everything around once again, but this time all she knew was that she had no desire to be pulled in. Whatever the crazy situation was surrounding Alice, Edward and Rosalie, it was for them to figure out.

Hitting the sidewalk, she pulled out her cell phone and called Rosalie back, leaving her a message when she didn't pick up.

"Hi Rosalie, I got your message, it was lovely by the way. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that the last time I saw Edward; he was being pummeled into the football field by Jasper. So if you think it's me he's seeing, maybe you want to take a closer look."

Sighing as she threw her phone back into her pocket, she strolled down the street, glad for the light dusting of rain that felt like a cathartic cleansing. By the time she'd managed to make it home, her feet were aching, her clothes were soaked through, but her whole being was set. She'd made an error all those months ago, she could see that now, but she was also unwilling to regret anything she'd done, because somewhere along the way, she'd found something worth more than any of the pain or resentment she felt. She'd found the person she'd been before her life had become one of solitary confinement. She'd found the person who knew how to smile without wondering if it looked genuine to the outside world.

Peeling her clothes from her sodden body, she grabbed her cell out of the jacket pocket, noticing that she'd missed one call in her fervent effort to escape the downpour. Scrolling down through to her voicemails, she sighed in a strangely verbal sign of delight when a deep voice spread down through her ear and into the very core of her bones.

"Bella, it's Jasper. I need to talk to you, to explain some things. I let you do all the talking the other week and that wasn't really fair. I think maybe it's time I explained a few things too. Anyway, give me a call back and let me know if you're free tomorrow, because I want to take you somewhere and talk." The dead air gave her just enough time to realize that her heart was beating in an unusual beat, that her lip was caught in the hold of her teeth, repressing her full smile from taking over, before finally she was hitting that little green button once again.

* * *

**a/n: This wasn't initially where I saw this chapter going and after some careful thinking, what was going to be 27 chapters is now looking more like 29. With that in mind a big huge thank you to my lovely beta Twiticulate, she is twelve shades of fantabulous and I'll never stop telling her so! Also a big thanks to Liamsgurl33 who takes time out of her busy life to pre-read for me, I'm really intrigued to see what you think about the last minute changes. x**


	25. Illuminate

The ice blue sky spread all around her as she strode confidently down the grassy hill. The constant rain had left the park looking almost eerily empty, but now her thick jacket and umbrella whipped back and forth against her thigh as she swung her arm in anticipation.

They'd agreed over the phone to meet here, and weather permitting, he'd said they would have something of a picnic. In her head it was going a be a little discreet affair, perhaps they would share a couple subs as they sat in the bed of his truck, but as she followed the path he'd told her to take, she was starting to think Jasper could do nothing by halves.

Spying him step down from an ornately wrapped gazebo, she smiled to see a streak of black whip around in circles, chasing his own tail in foolish delight. Her feet stopped involuntarily as she watched him raise his head to the sky, caught in a solitary moment. She admired the way the sun bounced from his skin and the effortless ease in which he always seemed to feel as one with his surroundings.

Not wanting him to catch her staring, she lowered her eyes and walked on. Hearing him call her name as she approached, she lifted her head, meeting his eyes openly, looking for some reassurance. The entire composition of his face changed as he brought his lips up in a warm smile, as he held his hand out to her, asking her to come closer.

"I thought maybe you were going to stand me up." He said, betraying his external confidence with a little show of insecurity when she looked down at her watch to see she was only a few minutes late.

"C'mon, I'll give you a tour." He stepped aside and though he took her hand to his side, she pulled back her fingers hesitantly. Feeling a little awkward she felt certain he hadn't even noticed, but as Jasper stepped up onto the white wooden structure, he held out his hand again and cocked his eyebrow, letting her know she hadn't been as discrete as she imagined.

"So? What do you think?" He asked, tugging her along with him as they stepped around an immaculately laid charcoal blanket that when she bent down to feel the fabric, touched her skin like the softest cashmere. Not only was there a bottle of champagne chilling in a portable bucket, but a quaint wicker basket was bursting with delicate indulgences. Bella tried to keep her awed appreciation to a manageable level.

"Well? He asked again, when her answer wasn't forthcoming, leaving her side only for a moment as he sat down with a confident ease, pulling her with him almost instantly.

"I think that you went shopping and bought all this stuff just for today." Bella finally deduced, reaching out to take hold of the champagne flute which still had a white sticky label on its base.

"And if I did?" He retorted, pulling the glass from her hand and flicking the label away with a casual grin.

"I don't know." She concluded, because truly, she didn't. She didn't understand how he could go from pushing her away for an entire month, to spoiling her, making huge efforts that in many ways were ultimately lovely, but unnecessary.

The champagne corked popped effortlessly out onto the almost emerald grass and Bella couldn't help but smile when Otis pounced on it like a nimble kitten, bringing it back to them, his tail whirling behind him, frantic with excitement. Throwing the cork high in the air, she entertained his obsessive need to chase and retrieve, before Jasper pushed a bubbling flute into her hand

"Here." She could tell that he was nervous for this encounter, as his eyes met with hers and then fell away again, never really holding their position.

"So are you hungry?" He asked as he reached over to the picnic basket and though everything he'd brought looking delicious, she stopped his hand with her own.

"Are you still angry with me Jasper?" His eyes met and held hers, waiting until she couldn't bear it any longer and a bright smile took over her entire face. Waking up today, she had expected to feel a deeply penetrating anxiety or at the very least a little tension between them, but Bella could only find herself feeling the pleasure of being back in his company. Maybe, she thought, he felt the same.

"I was." Was all he said and she was left reading beyond the lines.

"Have you been busy at work?" He asked and Bella knew he was deliberately stalling. Shaking her head, he drew his whole body forward slightly, his exposed elbows resting on the tips of his outstretched knees. Wringing his hands together, Bella wondered whether she had underestimated just what he was going to tell her.

When he didn't start talking and her patience finally wore out, she decided maybe he needed a little further prompting to get going.

"Alice informed me you told her what happened between the two of us." Steeling her gaze so he could find no emotion there, she almost gave away the hurt she felt when his eyes met hers, wide and alarmed.

"Oh God, it was nothing like that Bella. I asked her to meet me for dinner, after everything you told me, I wanted to speak with her, to understand why she'd lied to me about you. We're not… I mean, there's nothing going on between us."

Looking beyond him to take in a couple running side by side in the distance, Bella tried to gather her thoughts, to calculate whether this actually meant anything to her.

"Look, I'm not going to justify my relationship with Alice to you, if you were anyone else, I would actually avoid the topic altogether, but I understand we're both wrapped up in this. So what I'm hoping we can do is get everything out on the table today, and then maybe we can just move past this whole thing."

Not knowing whether he meant simply move past Alice, or move past their friendship, Bella nodded slowly, hoping he would catch her uncertainty and offer some reassurance, but he'd missed her fragility over the ambiguity all together.

"I told you before that Alice and I met through Rosalie, what I didn't tell you was she told me a few months later she'd known I was going to be there, that she'd actually organized and thrown the whole party just so we could meet. I guess I should have recognized back then that she was really intense about things, but like I said, I was crazy about her. She was just so different from anyone I'd ever met before, she was impulsive and exciting and… well anyway. It took about two months after I started travelling for business for the weird to kick in. She'd show up in the cities where I was meant to be, but she just sort of hid, watching me. At first I thought maybe I was nuts, but when I confronted her about it, she said that if she didn't do it, I would cheat on her. I know you've got no reason to believe me Bella, but I didn't, I mean… I wasn't doing anything like that."

Sighing, he took a big gulp of his champagne and then followed it quickly with another.

"I'm not proud of how I reacted, but she really freaked me out with some of the things she said, the things she said she'd do to the women I was supposedly fucking. Anyway, I threw her out. She'd been staying at my place pretty much straight from when we first met and I knew she didn't really have anywhere to go; I mean it wasn't like she had a job or anything."

Bella fidgeted slightly, although she was desperate to hear how this all would play out, what Alice could say or do to convince him to take her back.

"We were apart for months and then she showed up on my doorstep one day and I knew straight away that she was different. She told me the doctor had put her on mood stabilizers and that even though she didn't like the way they made her feel, she was doing it for us…"

From the heavy look in his eyes, she could tell this wasn't easy for him and though she kept the distance he'd arranged between them, she inclined her body just a little closer to his.

"…The three of us." Jasper finally said, his words heavy. It took a few seconds for the reality of what he was saying to hit and then when it did, she couldn't think of the right words to say.

"After you told me about what happened between you and her, I started to question everything, but I didn't think she would ever lie about something like that, not for so long."

"How did you find out?" Bella asked softly.

"She told me when we went to dinner a few weeks back. I can't believe I had no idea, all this time it was the thing I could hold onto that justified her behavior, explained some of who she was. But I should have known; I should have seen the signs." He laughed wryly, the sound an absolute opposite to the sadness and pain adorned in his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me this…" Bella said, reaching her hand out to touch his cold arm, retracting it again when he just shook his head and steeled his eyes.

"I was really proud of her and she actually seemed to really calm down, everything was so good between us and then out of the blue, I got back from one of my business trips to find her crying, telling me that she'd lost the baby. It really changed her, both of us really and it was one of the reasons I suggested moving out here. I don't know when she stopped taking the meds, but she did and I couldn't blame her, not after everything I thought she'd been through. I know you're angry at her for what she did to you, but if it helps, I wouldn't take it personally."

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking for what he was trying to tell her.

"She's your sister Bell and I get that what she did hurt you, but I don't think she has a conscience, at least not like the rest of us." He paused and she wondered how he could seem so calm about all this.

"Whatever happened between the two of you made me very cautious of you, I had no reason to trust you, and if I'm honest, I still don't. If Alice wanted you to know, she would have told you herself, that was just the way I saw it, and in a lot of ways, I still do. But I'm not here to tell you everything about Alice; I'm here to figure things out between us."

Throwing back the remnants of his champagne, Bella sipped from her own, thanking him when he topped up her glass and then his own.

"Okay. I guess I can respect that." She said, sensing the topic was officially closed. Struggling to find something she thought he might be willing to discuss, she reverted to the beginning. "So, back to my original question, are you still angry with me?" Bella asked, wrapping her arms around her legs as she pulled them towards her body.

Shaking his head, she felt a little hint of relief when he smiled openly at her. "I've thought about it a lot and I don't really have a right to be angry as such, but I don't like that you let me go on thinking I owed you something, when really I'm fairly sure it should have been the other way around." His eyes glinted and though he seemed more at ease within this topic, she wasn't.

"You're right, but if I'm honest Jasper, at no point did I actually think we might end up as friends. I'm not exactly known for my gregarious nature and like you didn't for me, I owed you nothing."

A silence grew and lingered between them as they each sat and considered the words that had passed. It was a strange atmosphere, filled with an intense familiarity that was foreign to their clearly introverted body language.

"You tried to kiss me." She finally said, drawing confidence from the knowledge that this was her chance to bring everything out in the open.

"Yeah, I did." He responded, smiling softly as his blue eyes met hers.

"Did you do it cause you were drunk?" She pressed, knowing the repercussions of his answer were actually far beyond anything she had considered.

"I did it because I wanted to kiss you." He said after a thundering pause.

"Alice is my _twin_ sister." She retorted, emphasizing their relationship though even without that bond it was still something that couldn't pass between them.

"And Paul is my best friend." He threw back, raising an eyebrow and a light snort from her in response.

"That's not even close to being the same thing, anyway she was your girlfriend, Paul and I went on one date and barely kissed."

His reaction to her words was comical, as he brought down his glass and looked at her a serious stare. "You kissed?" He asked, and though she owed him none, she felt a twinge of guilt.

"Yeah, the night of that benefit."

"The night we danced." He added and she didn't know why he'd found it necessary to do so.

"So is there anything else we need to talk about before we eat?" He asked and she wondered if she could say yes and move past this, because if she did, she felt she would be bound to stand behind her commitment.

"No. I think I'm good…" She said, before asking the same of him. "You?"

He looked at her and after assessing her for a moment, he nodded before answering for himself. "I'm good too."

He gave her a poignant look as he slowly reached out for the basket, waiting for her to step in and stop him.

They ate in silence, the only time they spoke was not to each other but to Otis, as he was upon them as soon as there were treats to be had.

"So Leah roped me into being in some charity auction thing, she hasn't weaved her web over you yet has she?" Bella asked a little hopefully, testing out the impasse they had come to.

Jasper seemed to choke on whatever he was eating in reaction, spluttering for nearly a whole minute with laughter and discomfort.

"What!" She asked indignantly, wondering what he'd found in her words to make him react in such a way.

"Well first of all, I'm just glad she's not mad at you. You did tell her I knew didn't you?" He asked and when she nodded her head, he moved on. "I can't believe you agreed to that!"

Sensing that maybe she'd made a huge error in not finding out more before being pulled in by Leah's insistence, she sighed before responding. "What have I signed myself up for?"

"Well it's an auction all right, it's a bachelor auction."

Her mouth dropped open; her eyes wide in disbelief.

"No way, she knows I would never agree to do that." Bella protested, while rummaging through her purse for her cell phone, in her frustration her fingers clasped on everything but the elusive little slice of plastic.

"Exactly, which is why she got you to agree without you even knowing." Jasper grinned, and though Bella knew he was right, she still pulled her captured phone to her ear with intent.

"Leah. You better call me back the minute you get this, because I'm sitting here with Jasper and he says the auction thing you were talking about involves you auctioning _me_ off and trust me when I say, that is not going to happen." She punctuated her last six words before all but throwing her phone down on the blanket. She caught a glint of amusement in Jaspers eyes and threw him a glare which only seemed to intensify rather than retract his reaction.

"What am I going to do?" Bella begged for some solution to her dilemma, hoping that maybe with their history Jasper had some tricks up his sleeve. When he simply shook his eyes with a faux remorse, Bella all but resigned herself to her fate.

"It doesn't matter what you do Bell, she'll guilt trip you so bad you know it's not even worth your while to pretend you won't end up doing it. I'm just glad I'm out of town that night."

It wasn't until he said those words that Bella understood a part of her had been hoping he would be there, that he would save her from her new threat. Knowing he wouldn't even be there, that he wasn't even an option for her, she wondered who, if anyone, would bid.

"What if I un-bachelor myself by the auction?" She asked, but when he shook his head again, she threw her head back and groaned.

"What? I could be hopelessly in love by then!" She said defensively, but when she looked up he seemed almost a little angry. Otis took that opportunity to nudge her elbow, sending her glass of champagne tumbling to the throw they were sitting on.

"Oh, Jasper I'm so sorry, I think it's ruined." Dabbing at the dark patch of liquid with a napkin, his hand suddenly crept over hers, stopping her frenetic attempts to rectify her slip.

"Hey. It's just a throw, and it's just a little champagne." His hand was still wrapped around hers and as he pulled her back, she could see him watching her intently out of the corner of her eye.

"Why'd it take you so long to call me back?" She asked in barely a whisper, the fragility of the moment bringing the previously untouched question to the fore. He didn't let go of her hand, nor did he stop staring, but finally she let her eyes meet his.

"It wasn't because I was angry with you Bell." He tried and when he said no more, she persisted.

"Then why?"

"Because my life has been filled with a certain kind of drama for a while now and I needed to know it was worth it."

The unspoken thing he said, the thing that lingered between them, was what she assumed he really meant; he needed to know if she was worth it. A frisson seemed to pass between them and though she wasn't positive, she was almost sure that if she just leaned in a little, gave him a fraction of an indication that it was what she wanted, they would be kissing right now. The pressure of the moment pressed down on her chest and though a part of her was straining her body forward, she let out a little laugh as she pulled back.

"Oh hey, Leah's calling." She said with a strained voice, her attempt to project a casual nonchalance failing wondrously.

"Leah Scott!" Bella fumed down the line, holding out her hand to let Jasper know she'd be back as she walked down from the little wooden gazebo.

"Bella! Now, what was it you were rambling about chica? I could barely understand you behind all that shouting you were doing." Leah brazenly threw out, though they both knew she'd heard every word.

"I said that you didn't mention that during this auction thing, the thing you were auctioning was me!" Bella snapped, easily regaining the anger she'd initially felt.

"Hmm, yeah I got that, but didn't you also mention something about Jasper. Does this mean that my two favorite people are talking again? Oh, put him on would you honey, I just need a quick word with him." Bella opened her mouth to protest, a little half sound came out and then she flounced back around anyway, jutting her phone into Jasper's personal space.

"It's for you." She said, waggling the phone up and down. With a tentative hand, Jasper took the phone from her and stood, the strength of his presence immediately filling her senses. She thought perhaps he would brush passed her, but instead he stood by her side pressing his shoulder to hers though he faced the opposing direction. She didn't dare move and when he snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her softly on her temple before walking away, she felt a whole burden lift from the very core of her soul.

Her whole body thrummed with something foreign and though she was sure she should be listening to his conversation, instead she was solely focused on the little tingling sensation that emanated from a tiny little spot just west of her forehead.

She thought maybe she would be standing there when he returned, all dazed and confused with an openly obvious look of confusion on her face. But she was pushed aside, almost pushed to the floor, when Otis came bouncing past her, chasing an errant wasp who didn't know he was out way past his season.

Silently thanking the rambunctious little beast with a rough ruffle of his ears when he tired of his game, she took the time allotted to compose herself back into something rational. Gathering their now severely diminished picnic back into the basket, she sat back down on the throw, feeling the soft fabric beneath her fingers.

Watching Jasper as he strode around in circles, occasionally chancing a look back over at her, she wondered what he really thought of her, if the discrete passes he'd made were a genuine reaction to his feelings for her, or leftover twinges from his time with her sister. Not coming to any firm conclusions, she was happy when he returned, but entirely displeased to note the phone was no longer to his ear, but hanging loosely by his side.

"Do not tell me she hung up!" Bella exclaimed, taking her phone when he offered it, but finding nothing but dead air on the other end.

"She said to tell you that it's for a good cause, your name is already on the website and she told you where to look if you wanted to. Also, she said to think of all the sick people you'll be disappointing before you call her again." Bella could vaguely remember a website Leah had reeled off, but it hadn't stuck then and trying to recall it now was useless.

Letting out a large gust of frustration, Bella threw up her hands in defeat.

"Fine, but if the date's a disaster, I'm blaming you too." She said, pointing at him with a serious stare.

"What did I do?" He asked incredulously, but as soon as he heard the light melody of her laughter, his shoulders lost their defensive tension and he took a reflexive step towards her.

"I don't know, but I doubt Leah will be around to blame!"

Their eyes met and as her eyes lit up with mischief, she noticed his reflected back with something warm and new, something she'd never seen when he'd looked at her before.

* * *

**a/n: This was a really tough chapter to write and I'm not sure why to be honest. Anyway, I'm so glad it's finally done...**

**As always, a huge enthusiastic thanks to my beta Twiticulate who has been working triple time with the amount of stuff I've thrown at her this week and to my lovely pre-reader Liamsgurl33.**

**I'm sending you all to the auction next and hopefully someone will bid on poor Bella, the only question is, who will it be? Hopefully you'll know the answer by Sunday. **

**Readers - you rock socks, maybe I'll have a word with Jasper and see if he'll take you with him on his next trip away... hell, maybe I can convince him to take me too!**

**xxx  
**


	26. Imburse

With two hours to go, her debut on the auction circuit was drawing ever closer. Leah had all but insisted they meet during the week and after some internal chastising, Bella had managed to keep her teeth from gritting and her mood from souring as Leah had thrown a number of revealing outfits her way. They had finally agreed on a very short, very sequined silver dress that hugged her curves to perfection. Paired with sky high stilettos, when she'd tried it on Leah had sworn it would be that or nothing else, but the more she thought about the revealing length, the more nervous she became. All of which was currently hanging over her shoulder in a garment bag, a baseball cap was pulled down over her eyes as she clung to the possibility that she could hide from the world.

"Bella!" Leah called, gesturing her over while slipping her two-way hands-free radio to the side. Smiling as Leah dismissed her bounty of assistants who were milling around like gnats, Bella shuffled through the crowd, raising the corners of her lips knowingly when Leah looked her over in admonition.

"That bag better contain what we bought Swan, or I'm sending you out in your underwear!" Bella lifted the bag in response, unzipping it slightly to prove she knew better than to test Leah's commitment to an idea.

"Great, although I do have to warn you, you're probably going to have some stiff competition as a few of the other girls weren't so negative when I suggested a little skin might go a long way." Leah cocked her eyebrow and Bella couldn't contain the mirthful laugh that sung between them.

"Nice try!" Bella nodded back to the dressing rooms behind Leah. "You got somewhere I can change?"

Leah immediately sprung in organization mode, shouting out for one of the girls who were lying in wait only meters away to show Bella around. The girl was small and mousy, nondescript in her facial features, but her eyes seemed almost apologetic as she led Bella out to the ballroom.

"When Leah introduces you, you need to walk to this white line. She'll do a little intro where she'll let the guests know all about you and then…" Bella held out her hand, "Wait, what do you mean? What's she going to say?"

"Oh." Replied the girl, shuffling through her clipboard of papers in distress, before looking over her shoulder back through the door where they'd just entered. "Umm, I think it's just a basic bio. All the other volunteers filled out a questionnaire; didn't you get one?"

Bella kept her wry chuckle short as she shook her head back and forth, not wanting to confuse the girl any more than necessary. "It's okay; I'm sure Leah decided to take care of that for me. So what comes after the first white line?"

The girl walked on, her confidence growing a little when the potential disaster was averted. "Okay, then you walk to here, where you'll stand count to ten and then move on over here."

It seemed simple enough, but Bella didn't hold her breath that it would go without a hitch, she could just see herself tumbling down like a weak legged fawn, her old clumsy ways returning when she needed them least. Looking back over the simple steps, Bella pushed aside her doubts and threw back her shoulders. "Great, so where can I get ready."

The girl scampered ahead, no further words coming from her as she lead Bella back through to a dressing room, one that was surprisingly empty. She'd expected some sort of backstage gathering, a huge changing room with girls dotted around in various states of undress, something like a locker room she supposed, but this was Leah, so she really should have known better.

"If you need anything, just hit the intercom, one of us will be with you in no time. Hold on, let me check my schedule…" Bella hung up her garment bag as the girl fluttered through her sheets of paper once again. "…Okay, here it is. You're on pretty close to the end, so we need you ready by 9:30."

Bella turned and smiled, letting the girl knew she understood before she turned away again, effectively dismissing her. It worked well too, because by the time she turned around again a few seconds later, the doorway was empty and only the mumbling sounds of chaos from down the hall were filtering into the room.

Taking a quick inventory of the room, she noted the theatre like mirror, surrounded with exposed bulbs, the little card with her name on and finally, with delight, she lingered on the bottle of champagne, chilling in a bucket of ice.

Stepping towards the champagne she quickly popped the cork, thinking that a little glass would help to ease her nerves.

"How're you wearing your hair B? Because I was thinking you need it down and big…" Bella whipped around at the intrusion and from the way Leah was looking at the amber liquid in her hand, she thought maybe she was in for a telling off, but then Leah was closing the door firmly behind her and strolling eagerly across the room. "God, I need one of those, if I have to answer one more idiotic question, I'm going to wring someone's neck!" She ranted, pouring herself a large glass and throwing half of it back, all in one swift motion.

"Anyway, where was I… oh yeah, your hair."

Bella laughed deeply at Leah's swift about turn, earning her a reproachful look in return. "You need to concentrate Swan, now how do you feel about a little backcombing?" Leah looked thoughtful and Bella knew well enough to just shrug, it would happen whether she agreed now or was needled into it later and she didn't think Leah had the patience to fight fairly today.

"Great, you're gonna be amazing B, and just you wait until you see some of the guests I have lined up, who knows who you might be going home with tonight!" Leah winked and Bella nearly choked on her small sip of bubbles.

"Umm, I don't know what you think I've agreed to Leah, but I'm not going home with anyone, I don't care how much they pay!" Bella had her indignant face on, but Leah wasn't bothered by it in the slightest as she shrugged. "Figure of speech chica, nothing more." Leah said, brushing off Bella's reaction.

"Okay, I have to get back out there. I'll try to come and see you again before show-time." Leah said as she rushed in, hugging Bella briefly before she had a chance to tense up or avoid the show of affection.

Alone again, Bella sat down on one of the two chairs available, turning the little note over in her fingers. She didn't recognize the handwriting, so after a thoughtful sip from her flute, she ripped open the manila envelope and pulled open a blank white card.

Flipping it open she smiled to herself, because although he couldn't be here, he hadn't forgotten about her completely.

_Good Luck Bell…_

_You won't need it!_

_J_

His simple words were just what she needed to get her through the night and as the minutes ticked past and her call time drew nearer, she read them over and over again, forcing herself to believe they were true.

"Bella, you're up." A light rap at the door accompanied the head which peered around her door and the mousy eyes from earlier appraised her as they travelled up and down her body. "You look great! Come on, you're on next."

Bella didn't take the time to compose herself, or even out her rapidly climbing heartbeat, but she did glance over at the card one last time before striding out the door, her shoulders thrown back and her head held high.

Her hair had been ruffled and sexified to within an inch of its life and when Leah caught her eye as she stood in place, ready to ascend the few steps which would expose her to the audience, she gave a discrete nod of approval. Bella couldn't help the reflexive surge of confidence it gave her and though she should have been filled with nerves, she barely felt a thing as she confidently stepped out into the glaring lights.

"Our penultimate bachelorette for you tonight is one of the City's leading fiction editors…." Leah's winked at her as she strode past and the smile which fell effortlessly onto Bella's lips was genuine, she'd worked hard for her career and though she could have objectified herself as she twirled in the barely there skirt of her shimmering dress, she felt proud of her achievements, proud that she might be able to contribute a small sum to Leah's charity because of them.

The bidding began and try as she might to drown out the figures at Leah shouted them out, she couldn't help her eyes as they were circled the faces, looking for the bidders raised paddles. She spied Paul, looking dashing in his James Bond tuxedo, and though he grinned and nudged Rachel when he saw her looking, not once did he bid. The numbers kept on rising and with each new figure, her heart beat swelled, she tried to remain calm, but she couldn't believe anyone would be willing to pay this much just to spend an evening by her side.

"Going once…" Leah called out, her voice low and full of dramatic tension.

"Going twice…" She drew out, spinning the words into long and twisted webs.

"Sold to number one nine eight, for the wonderful sum of twenty six thousand dollars."

Although she knew she was being obvious, although she knew it was the done thing to play it calm and act like this was something that happened to her everyday, her mouth dropped open as she turned to Leah to check she'd hear her right. While the numbers had been high when her attention had been focused, that had been nowhere near that sum. Leah simply winked and Bella took that as her cue to depart. Her legs felt a little like jelly as she walked back to the thick curtains and she her body slid through the heavy fabric, she felt a small hand grasp her forearm.

"Oh my god, that was amazing!" The little mouse gushed and Bella nodded, trying to show that she actually felt the same way. Earlier on in the day she'd made a bargain to herself that if she managed to break four figures she would be ecstatic, but this was far beyond her expectations.

"Do you know who bid?" Bella asked a little breathlessly, wondering when her high would fade and leave the fear of actually living up to this exorbitant expectation.

"Not exactly, but you'll find out soon enough. Oh my god, what if you end up falling in love!" The girl gushed, her eyes taking on a slightly glazed look as she looked back over in the direction of the bidders. Romanticism didn't play highly on Bella's card so she simply indulged the girl with a light but heartless smile and edged her way back to her little dressing room, accepting a handful of expressive compliments and congratulations along the way. A couple of the other girls who'd been up for auction looked downright green, but Bella felt nothing but a smattering of pity that they would be so petty when the aim of the night was to do something selfless.

She had just stepped back into her jeans and was pushing her dress back inside her garment bag when the door swung open to her room, announcing Leah's arrival with a sufficient amount of bravado.

"Isabella Swan… you fucking rocked it out there!" Leah bounced, not able to stay still as she swept into the room and then bounced delightedly on the balls of her feet.

"So, what happens next?" Bella asked, her enthusiasm having waned a little since she stepped back into her everyday clothes.

"Well, that's where things get interesting. Your bidder wants to remain anonymous until the date, something which I wouldn't normally allow, but after what he forked over tonight, I agreed to make a little exception. I hope you don't mind." Leah pouted a little, trying to push her point.

Bella felt a little disappointed that she wasn't going to get the big reveal, but the anonymity only added to the excitement and mystery, something she couldn't deny was appealing. "It's fine Leah. Can you give me a hint though? I mean do I have to practice my pleasantly surprised face now?" Bella asked, imagining some archaic grey haired suit with more skin and wrinkles than face.

"I don't think you need to practise anything B." Leah smugly responded, her eyes taking on a pleased little glint. "But as for your date, is next weekend too soon?"

Bella groaned and wondered just what this meant. "Umm, I suppose that's fine, but what kind of date are we talking about here, I mean, I'm guessing it's not gonna be a jeans kinda night?"

Leah rolled her eyes and Bella felt like reciprocating, but she decided to wait patiently instead. "Likely!" Leah snorted, and then went on to tell her she would get back to her with more details midweek.

By Wednesday Bella had pushed the date to the very recesses of her mind because not only did she have a full week of meetings to attend and authors to appease, but she was trying to find time to see Jasper before he jetted off once again. They managed a brief phone call during the day, but it seemed this week just wasn't going to work for either of them, so they made plans to do something the following weekend. He'd teased her a little about her date, but she felt it lacked the full veracity she expected, but Seth had swept into her office announcing her next appointment had arrived and so she hadn't had the chance to fully explore his reaction.

The rest of the week flew by and though Leah had sent over a rail of clothes for her to peruse and borrow as she wished, Bella still was unsure what to wear. Thumbing through the rack which was still taking up a whole wall of her living space, Bella pulled out the little note Leah had attached to her delivery and scanned the words once again.

_Take a few options – who knows where you might end up! _

Useless, Bella thought as she tapped Leah's number into her cell phone.

"B, are you ready yet? His car will be there soon!" Bella eyed her watch and a little twist of panic spread through her gut.

"No! I have no idea what to wear and your note didn't help either. I need some clue Leah, or else I'm going in jeans and a t-shirt." Bella said, hearing her pout sound out clearly in her words. She heard Leah tut loudly, clearly unimpressed that she hadn't simply packed the whole rail no doubt.

"Bella, just throw on the red dress, the one second from the front, it's perfect for whatever happens."

Following her suggestion as she grabbed the hanger, Bella wondered why Leah couldn't have just sent the one dress, that way she would be ready by now. Saying a brief farewell, Bella hung up quickly knowing she had very little time to turn her office-self into something even remotely worthy of what this guy had paid. The pressure of the sum had weighed heavily on her all week and though her triumph hadn't managed to work its way through the office gossip steam just yet, she knew it would only be a matter of time.

It would have to do, she thought, as she stood back to assess the damage in her full length mirror. The dress was perfect, but her loose curls didn't look as she'd pictured them in her head and with little else to go on, she'd kept her make up fresh and not too dramatic. She didn't like the idea of a blind date anyway, but this one was so loaded with pressure that when the building concierge rang her apartment to say her limo was here, she felt fit to explode.

The walk down to the lobby was spent taking deep breaths and attempts to convince herself that whoever her date was, he was the one who was paying to see her, but it didn't work.

The driver opened the rear door as she approached and though she tried not to be obvious as she thanked him, she squinted into the darkness, hoping to see a friendly, if not familiar face.

The limo was empty though and her heart began its descent back into normality as she sat back into the leather seats, she felt the car pull away. Looking discretely around the lengthy interior, finally her eyes landed on an already poured glass of champagne, a neat little card sitting propped behind it. Shuffling to the edge of her seat she reached for both, taking a large drink from the glass before turning the card over. Both the front and back were blank, so she delicately ripped the envelope, freeing a small cream card from inside.

_I'm sorry I couldn't be here to meet you in person. _

_Our night will begin shortly, until then…. _

_Saul C. Potts_

The name didn't ring any bells with her and the only accompanying face she could imagine was of an aged business man, perhaps someone Leah's husband would entertain with his expensive scotch and war stories from recessions gone by. Sipping pensively on her champagne, she watched the city draw by, looking for familiar landmarks in hopes of ascertaining her destination.

The route seemed familiar and when they passed a sign for DuPage Airport, she knew why. One of her more successful authors always chartered planes in and out of Chicago and insisted she meet him off the plane. Looking down at her little red dress, she wondered if Leah knew there was a possibility the date might be taking place somewhere other than Chicago and for the rest of the car ride she was buoyed on the possibility she did as she let her curiosity supersede all other emotions.

When the limo pulled in to a private entrance and then slowed to an idle, Bella circled the car with her eyes, searching for signs of her mystery man. Finding nothing but a milling group of workers, she was forced out of the safety of the car when the driver opened her door, alerting her presence to those surrounding.

No-one made their way forward and Bella wondered if this might be some sort of joke, or even worse, if her self-deprecation had come to fruition and her handsomely paying date had realised the error of his ways and fled when he realised the costly mistake he'd made.

"Bell?" He called, and she whipped her whole body around, her eyebrows drawing down in confusion as he strode purposefully to her.

"What're you doing here?" She asked and then immediately felt foolish, after all this was something of an office for Jasper.

"Waiting for a new client to arrive, he's a colleague of Paul's, but he's late. Anyway, what're you doing here?" Jasper looked around a little obviously and Bella couldn't help feeling that maybe there was a little more to this than a potential coincidence.

"Waiting for my date, remember that auction thing?" She asked, feeling more than a little pathetic when she realised she was now going to have to admit she'd been stood up.

"Mr. Whitlock?" A strong voice asked, and Bella felt a little relieve that she'd found a reprieve, even if it was only temporary.

"Yes." Jasper said and he excused himself politely as she strode away, taking the man's hand in a firm handshake before they embarked on a conversation that was too quiet for her own ears. When he turned to look at her a few minutes later she thought perhaps it would be to indicate he was leaving, but then suddenly the man was walking away and Jasper was coming towards her once again.

"What's the name of you date?" Jasper asked, his warm voice softening the amused glint in his sapphire eyes. Instead of answering she pressed the little white card into his palm and waited. He turned it over in his fingers twice before smiling mirthlessly while shaking his head.

"Come with me, I have something to show you." He didn't wait for her to agree; he simply intertwined her fingers with his and tugged. She followed his easy stride up to a large white aircraft, the kind she associated in her mind with money and power. He slowed slightly as he effortlessly took the thick steps and then finally they were inside. Her eyes roamed the shiny interior and it was all she had thought it would be. Thick, plush leather chairs obviously meant for business, a little sitting area for recreation. He stopped to introduce her to two people who she assumed were staff, dressed in matching black outfits, who gave her knowing grins and then they moved on. He led her back into the rear of the plane and she was in awe, because not only was there a bedroom, but it was beautiful and sleek, nothing she had expected at all.

Sitting down on the bed, he pulled her down with him and then held out the card she'd given him for her to take, followed by an invoice signed by Hale Yule.

"Look at the names and tell me what you think." He said and then patiently waited as she held the two side by side, her eyes trailing obediently from one name to the other.

Hale Yule and Saul Potts.

At first they meant nothing to her and then as the words began to morph into one she gasped, looking up at Jasper for confirmation.

"Did you know about this?" She asked, almost accusatory.

He didn't seem insulted by her assumption and his words immediately put her at ease. "I had no idea Bell, but whatever they're up to, they put a lot of thought into it."

"Are you going to lose out on this, I mean won't you have to pay your staff for being here?" Bella asked, concerned that whatever Leah and Paul were up to was going to end up costing Jasper a whole weekends worth of business and she was certain, judging by the bed she was currently sitting on, his business didn't come cheap.

"Don't worry about that Bell. I mean, it's already taken care of." Jasper said in an attempt to reassure, and while she didn't want to push it any further she didn't know what he meant, whether it was taken care of by 'Hale Yule' or if he was simply going to eat the costs and be done with it.

"I'm sorry Jasper; I don't even really know what to say about all this." She said, not sure what to do with herself after a whole week of building up to this moment.

"Are you kidding? I mean you look beautiful Bell and I can't help but think you must be disappointed after going to all this effort to impress your date." Jasper said and she couldn't help but feel it was more a question than a simple observation.

She shrugged her shoulders and let out a soft laugh of pure relief. "Actually, I'm really glad, I can't even tell you how crazy I've been about this whole thing and now that I don't have to worry about how a twenty six thousand dollar date should act, I feel pretty great." Her smile widened and he seemed to find something he liked in her answer as he watched her, an easy happiness finding its way to his eyes.

"So, what do you say we get out of here?" Jasper asked, standing and offering his hand once again. This time she didn't wait for him to grasp her as she moulded her palm to his, her fingers wrapping around his intrinsically.

"Where to?" She asked, following his broad shoulders all the way to the front of the aircraft.

"How about we let Hale Yule decide?" Jasper responded and it took her just a moment to process what he was suggesting. When her feet stopped moving, he turned his whole body and walked back into hers leaving just a small space between them.

"You mean?" She asked, already knowing exactly what he meant.

* * *

**A/N: Even though I know ff is having 'issues' again, I'm going to take a chance and throw this out there...**

**As always a huge big sparkly thanks to my beta Twiticulate and pre-reader Liamsgurl33...**

**I know quite a few people have wondered about the Hale Yule and Saul C Potts thing (I recently corrected an error!)... they are anagrams for Leah Scott and Paul Uley (their names in this fic)...hope this helps any confusion. xx  
**

**I'm in the middle of doing something else so I'm posting this and running. x  
**


	27. Illaqueated

"Bell, this is Siobhan, she'll be taking care of you during the flight." Jasper introduced, holding his hand out to the red haired girl who looked no older than twenty five. She was visually very striking and Bella smiled warmly as she stepped forward, her hand ready in a very professional manner. After shaking Bella's hand, she excused herself and hurried away, leaving Bella standing alone in the cabin with Jasper by her side.

"Are you flying the plane?" She asked, trying not to show just how truly nervous she was when he turned to her with a broad grin on his face, clearly showing this was something he truly loved.

"I wasn't planning on it." Jasper replied easily and Bella couldn't help her eyes as they darted to the cockpit, the bright endless light glowing angrily.

"Oh." She responded as she tried to decide whether this made the situation better or worse.

"Garrett has more than enough experience and I had planned on sitting back here with you…" Sensing something was clearly amiss, he added; "Is that okay?"

Biting her lip, she decided it wouldn't take him too long to figure it out when she was clinging to the arms of her seat with every slight bump. "Actually, I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but I'm seriously afraid of flying and right now I can't figure out if I would prefer you to fly the plane because I trust you and that way you won't have to watch me freak out, or if maybe it would be nice to have someone to reassure me that each noise doesn't mean the plane is about to fall apart. I didn't use to be, afraid I mean, it just sort of happened somewhere along the way."

He laughed warmly when she took a breath and stepped in, closing the distance between them to something far more intimate. "If you don't want to go, we can stay right here." He said softly, letting her decide for herself. Shaking her head, she knew that she wasn't going to let her fear stop what could potentially be an amazing time. "No, I want to go and if you don't mind, I'd like it if you would stay with me…" She felt a little relieved to be making the decision herself, but couldn't help adding a little addendum; "But you promise Garrett knows what he's doing?"

The warm laugh was back and she appreciated he was being gentle for her benefit. "Well, I'll be with him for take-off and landing, but I'm also absolutely certain he knows precisely what he's doing." Reassured, Bella felt herself breathe a little more easily.

"Now, why don't you take a seat? Siobhan will bring you a drink and we'll be leaving shortly." He finished by tucking a strand of her curled hair behind her ear and she felt a little patter of nerves when his eyes lingered on hers for just a moment too long. Just as she was planning to take a step back to give him room to thoroughly think through his actions, Siobhan re-emerged and stood with a single glass of champagne on a tray, clearly waiting for Jasper to move on.

"I'll be back soon." Jasper said before turning away and she watched him all the way to the cockpit, wondering just where this was all going.

"Bella, if you wouldn't mind taking a seat?" Siobhan asked in the loveliest of lilting Irish accents. Bella quickly followed her hand and sat down, clasping her seatbelt immediately and tugging it tightly around her middle, irrational though the action was, she felt a little safer now that she was thoroughly strapped in.

Bending down, Siobhan placed the glass on the table in front of her and then resurrected herself to full height. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you." Bella replied, working to keep the confidence she usually possessed in her voice. She waited until the girl had walked a few steps away before her hand desperately circled the delicate stem of the glass. She poured nearly half the contents down her throat and then forced herself to slow down.

The plane jolted a little out of its stationary position and as they started the slow taxi out to the runway, she tipped the rest of the glass back, wishing there was a bottle to follow. Placing the glass as far away from her body as possible, she threw her head back and mentally counted her way through from one to ten, forcing herself to breathe deeply with each number. By the time she had done this nearly two dozen times, she could feel the force of acceleration pushing her body back into the seat and her eyes flipped open. The world was flashing by outside the small window and as her fingers pressed deeply into the giving leather arms of her seat, she could feel her heart pounding heavily in her chest.

The jumping sensation of her stomach rising through her body didn't help any as the plane rose from ground and she tried to convince herself that nothing bad was going to happen. Taking a few shuddery breaths, she felt her nerves unwind slightly when she heard Siobhan rustling behind her, indicating that everything was going as planned. The plane tilted in a uniform way and her nails dug a little deeper into the leather and silently she wondered how much further they could go before she broke through the fabric.

"Here, let me get you another glass." Siobhan said cheerily and Bella tried a smile out for size, mustering one that she thought just might mask the true panic she was feeling. A flute of bubbles was pressed into her palm once again and she sipped pointedly, forcing herself not to simply inhale the contents like she really wanted to do.

The plane eventually evened out and though the more horizontal position didn't present a solution to her fears, it did indicate that they were officially on their way. A few moments later, Jasper strode confidently towards her, his wide smile faltering slightly when her eyes finally met his. She thought she'd been doing a fairly good job of keeping up appearances, but as he took the seat next to her and immediately wrapped his hands around hers, she knew he wasn't even slightly fooled.

She thought that maybe he would ask if she was okay, or inquire about the source of her fear and just thinking about the possibility of the questions made her nervous. "So, do you want to know where we're going?" He asked, erasing the pre-poised answers she had ready for him in her head.

Turning as much as her seat belt would allow, she smiled fondly and replied with a brief, but certain, "Yes."

He watched her for a moment and when his hand broke from her, she intently followed its progress. His fingers were on the slice of metal holding her world together and though her mind was shouting at him to stop, she allowed him to free her from the constraint. "Nothing is going to happen to you. I promise." She immediately thought of the plethora of ways that statement could be proven wrong, but she remained silent, taking a long drag of sweet liquid from her glass. He seemed to find her reaction amusing and though she kept her body firmly as it had previously been held, his fingers intertwined with hers again and she tried desperately to focus on him instead of her fears.

"I've thought about it… and I think it would ruin the surprise if I tell you where Paul and Leah are sending us."

Bella noted to gleam of combative joy in his eyes but she couldn't resist opening her mouth to protest. "What the hell Jasper, that's not fair! You have to at least give me a clue."

He smiled openly, his white teeth flashing as he found a simple pleasure in how easily she had been goaded. "I'll tell you one thing: it's on the East coast."

Bella let out a little growl of frustration because though he had eliminated a huge portion of the country, it was a portion she hadn't even been considering really.

"Why do you think they're doing all this?" Bella said, finally asking the question which really should have been their first when they discovered their friends' ruse to push them together.

"I don't think it's so hard to figure out, do you Bell?" Jasper said quite obviously, his eyes loosing none of their warmth.

Bella was about to respond when Siobhan popped up at their table with a glass of something that looked like orange juice for Jasper and the chilled bottle of champagne, nestled in a little silver bucket of ice for herself. Just seeing the bottle made her realise he'd very easily swept away her anxiety with his presence and though she felt a little twinge of panic, she pressed it down, not allowing herself to become consumed once again.

"Yeah, but do you really think they would pay all this money just to get us on a date?" Bella asked, genuinely interested in his answer as she truly didn't believe it could be that simple.

"I do and I don't. I don't think Leah would think twice about it, but I'm surprised she managed to get Paul involved. I imagine you certainly put a twist in their plans though."

Frowning in confusion, she waited for him to explain.

"Well, I doubt they expected to be paying twenty six thousand dollars to get you here. Do you know who the other bidder was?" As he said the words, she wondered why it had never occurred to her before. It wasn't like someone had really wanted to pay that much for her, it was more the case that two people had been _willing_ to pay that much. The thought scared her a little because previously she hadn't been able to think of one person who would ever dream of paying that much, finding out it was Leah and Paul had resolved her dilemma, but now she was right back at square one.

"I'm just sorry I couldn't be there…" Jasper said softly and Bella pushed aside her previous conundrum to delve into his words.

"Why?" She asked, wondering if he had left his words open as a prompt for her to push him.

"It should have been me paying, not them."

Bella had to play with the words for a minute, twisting them back and forth in her mind as she figured out how to respond without destroying whatever this was.

"I'm glad you weren't. I would feel incredibly guilty if you'd paid anything like that…" It felt too awkward to continue and Bella wondered why she hadn't steered herself away from such treacherous grounds.

"But it's okay that Leah paid? That someone else was willing to? But not me? If it's about the money then tell me Bell, would you be here if I'd just asked?" He didn't sound insulted, but she could see he clearly was asking for some clarification. Shaking her head she felt like she'd been pushed into a corner, but the person doing the pushing was herself.

"I don't know; probably not." He didn't respond and Bella felt a wave of pressure to make it right, because she was tired of telling herself she didn't want this, when she quite obviously did. Silence settled down on them and when he stood and walked to the back of the plane, she knew it would only be a matter of time before the subject was brought up again. He returned a few minutes later, but he had a pile of paperwork in his arms and though he offered her an apologetic smile, he still took the seat opposite her instead of the one by her side.

Sighing, she rested her head to one side; peering down into the dusky clouds she wondered just how she could make this right. A few minutes later, she turned back around and though she wanted to find the right thing to say, she was also a little mesmerized by him. From nowhere he'd produced a pair of reading glasses and his hand was furiously scrawling away, making edits and notes on a seemingly endless pile of papers. Occasionally he would stumble on something and his eyes would rise, looking past her as he tapped his pen on the paper. He did this a few times, before she realised she was sitting forward slightly, drawn to him by something so simple and subconscious. Realizing what she was doing, she pushed herself back and tried to assimilate what this all meant.

They were on a date, she finally had to admit to herself and though he was doing office work and she was watching in almost an obsessive way, they were doing so because she hadn't seen the line to know when it was being crossed. The date thing scared her, that much she had to admit, especially when she realized that the reason it conjured a sense of fear was because she'd been stepping into the abyss for a while now, and she hadn't done a thing to stop it.

Sensing her eyes on him, he looked up, catching her with a pensive stare. The words that she longed for just wouldn't come and without them she found herself asking questions her otherwise controlled mind wouldn't have allowed. "Why haven't you asked me out? I mean, if you wanted to."

Bella wondered if she was blushing as Jasper slowly placed his pen down. "I was working my way up to it. After the cabin thing, I wasn't sure if you had figured it out yet."

Effortlessly biting the bait, Bella pressed on. "Figured out what?"

"That you were wrong; that I wasn't just drunk or hung up on your sister."

He seemed to be genuine and though any thought of Alice was abhorrent to her, especially in her present company, she tried out the possibility of them together in her mind. It jarred her slightly, because although she was willing to admit to herself she was attracted to him, she also found it very difficult to get beyond his past.

"I don't think I can do this." She blurted out, finding no trace of surprise or shock on his face.

"Why?" He asked, his voice calm but assertive.

"Because you dated Alice, you were engaged, and as much as I'd like to think I can get passed that, I just don't know if I can. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not spend every moment comparing how you felt about her to how you feel about me."

Sighing, she crossed her arms protectively over her body, wondering why she just couldn't let herself go and give in to her desires.

"What if I needed to date Alice? What if she's the reason I'm here now, with you?" Jasper persisted. Bella just shook her head, knowing how easily she could fall into his arms, but also how quickly she might fall back out of them.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that she came first and you loved her, maybe you still do." She hadn't posed it as a question, but now that it was out there, she desperately wanted to know if it was true. He seemed to sense that too. "Ask me Bell; ask me if you want to know." He demanded, his eyes challenging her.

Settling back into her fears, she considered her choices, until finally, she was left with only one. "Do you still love her?"

His body seemed to relax back into his seat and when after a minute of just looking at her with no response, she felt a deluge of dread. Just as she was beginning to wish she'd never said anything he stood, coming around the table to sit by her side once more.

"When I figured out she lied about the baby, that she had looked me in the eye for years, cried in my arms and lied, I stopped feeling anything for her but contempt."

Bella didn't know what to do with the unmasked venom in his voice, especially because he had always seemed so protective of Alice.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be, don't convince yourself that it's all about Alice, when really it's only about you."

His words pushed down into her consciousness and she wondered how right he was.

"I need to think about it." She finally responded and when he stood again and retook his previous seat, she was grateful for his consideration, for his ability to see that she really did need some time.

The rest of the plane ride, she spent just watching him, wondering just what she was getting herself into. He left, just as he'd said he would, when they began their descent and though it should have left her with room for her fears to grow, she was simply too caught up in wondering about her next move.

"We're here!" Jasper announced when the plane drew to a stop, his smile was easy and assured, though she knew her own looked nothing of the sort.

"And where is here exactly?"

He didn't answer though; he simply stood to one side so she could look out into the evening air, the private airfield making it impossible to tell anything about their destination. As she descended down the little steps, she raised her head instinctively, her senses working furiously to place the familiar scent with a memory.

"We're by the ocean." Bella said when it finally hit her that wherever they were smelt the same as the little reservation a few miles from her hometown.

Jasper didn't confirm or deny her suspicions, but he did take her hand as he stood by her side, his thumb caressing the back of her hand.

It didn't take long for them to find the sleek black car which had been prearranged and as the driver had already been instructed, Bella could glean nothing from their brief but polite conversation.

"Please Jasper, just tell me, it's not like I'll be able to figure it out in the dark anyway." She begged when all she could see out of the window was clean countryside.

"We're in the Hamptons, and I'm guessing that we're on our way to Leah's house here." Bella was surprised that he didn't know their exact end point, but then she was reminded that this night had turned out very different for him as well.

"So what did you think you would be doing here?" Bella asked curiously.

"Nothing actually; I was planning on staying at a hotel with Garrett and Siobhan. I expected that all of my business would be taken care of in the air."

Bella nodded and then went back to watching the world flash by, finding herself more and more excited at the prospect of seeing the ocean. It had been a long time since she'd travelled for anything other than business.

"How long are we staying for? I mean, I didn't bring anything with me." The revelation was worrying and as she looked down at her red dress, she knew she should have paid closer attention to Leah when she told her to bring options.

"We can stay as long as you like and if I am right in thinking we're going to Leah's place, then she'll have plenty of things you can borrow. I mean it's the least she can do after everything she's done." Bella agreed whole heartedly and said so, after which they both fell back into a peaceful silence while Bella amused herself with thoughts of walking on the beach with Jasper.

"Can Otis fly?" She asked and then when he began to laugh, she realized perhaps she should have been more specific. "I mean with you." She clarified, pushing his shoulder lightly in jest.

"Sure he can, why? What're you thinking?" He asked, his whole body turning to hers.

"Just that it would have been nice to have him with us. I can picture him bouncing down the beach, trying to catch a seagull or something." She really could see it, but what she didn't tell Jasper was that she imaged them walking behind him in the distance, their bodies intertwined.

"Yeah, he'd like that." He said with something of an intrigued voice, his eyes watching her closely for any kind of subterfuge.

Bella wanted to say something like 'maybe next time' but she stopped herself, knowing that it would only confuse matters, especially when she hadn't even committed to a 'this time' yet.

The house they eventually pulled up at was stereotypically huge and though Bella was impressed by the grandeur, she couldn't help thinking that something more quaint or intimate would have been preferable. Annoyed by her own thoughts, she stuck to being impressed, marvelling at the English style country house that seemed to go on for miles.

The driver opened the door for them and when he drove away, leaving them essentially alone for the first time since leaving Chicago, Bella couldn't help but feel a little nervous.

"I'm guessing this is Leah's place?" Bella asked, breaking the tension as Jasper opened the unlocked front door.

"Yeah, one of many." Jasper said wryly as he swung the front door open and then gestured for her to enter first.

The air was cool inside and though the hallway was dim, she could just make out a little white envelope on a huge round table which filled the center of the opulent foyer.

Jasper found the lights and as she blinked quickly, adjusting to the artificiallight, she lifted the envelope finding her name and Jasper's written neatly just as she'd expected.

"What does it say?" Jasper asked from over her shoulder. He was so close that she could literally feel the heat of him penetrating through her back and though it was a cowardly move, she spun away from him lightly, pretending to admire the room now that she could see it clearly.

Done with her show, she pulled out the manila card, reading the words aloud.

_Jasper and Bella,_

_You might think you're angry with us, but we did this for your own good. _

_Bella, I have packed a weekend bag for you which you will find in the kitchen. However if you should need anything else, please feel free to roam and borrow at will. _

_The house is yours for as long as you want/need it…._

_Don't do anything we wouldn't do!_

_Leah and Paul_

Bella passed the card to Jasper although she had left nothing out and began her exploration of the ground level. A bag which seemed to contain enough clothes for a month was sitting happily on the counter and on top was another card, however this one was addressed to just her. Hearing Jasper's approaching as his boots slapped down on the tiled floor, she quickly pocketed the card, afraid of combining the contents and his presence.

"Jasper if you don't mind, I'm actually really tired, so I think I'm just going to find a room and call it a night." There was no lie in her words as now that the anticipation had worn off, she realised just how long and stressful her week had been.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat? We could order in." Although he seemed hopeful, Bella shook her head and though it might have seemed dramatic or feigned, a huge yawn overtook her.

"Of course then, let's go find you a bedroom."

There were plenty to choose from and coincidentally, the ones which appealed to them most just so happened to be right next door to one another. Bella couldn't even accuse Jasper of doing so to be near her, as he had laid claim to his room first.

"Well… goodnight Bell." Jasper said, lingering slightly in the doorway. Lifting her head, she wondered what the protocol was at this juncture. She's already decided that this was something of a date, but it also felt like it hadn't even really begun. She settled for something simple.

"Goodnight Jasper." She said as she drew nearer and even though initiating physical contact was unusual for her, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her for the shortest of moments. He felt strong and masculine under her touch and as she stepped away, she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye, afraid she would linger if she did.

Pushing the door, she closed herself away and while it should have been a night fraught with restless dreams, she escaped into a blissful haven of nothingness.

The morning light didn't wake her and neither did the clattering of pans which had faintly been discernable only minutes before, it was the succulent scent of sizzling bacon turning her dreams to desire as her stomach flipped in excitement.

Padding through the light hallways, she could hear Jasper talking all the way from her room and what she'd initially thought was a phone conversation turned out to be him talking through what seemed to be a huge effort not to burn everything in sight.

Taking a seat at the bar, she could see he wasn't exactly at home in the kitchen and as he plated up a slightly charred version of a full English breakfast, she couldn't help a little light laughter escaping as he looked at her almost sullenly. "Sorry, I don't really cook. I mean, I can do the basic stuff, but I guess timing isn't my thing."

Placing a crisp piece of bacon in her mouth, Bella chomped down. "This is wonderful Jasper. Thank you." She tried to infuse as much sincerity as she could into the words, because she didn't really care if her whole plate looked like it had taken a shortcut through hell, it was most definitely the thought that counted.

For a moment she thought maybe he was just going to watch her eat, but then he seemed to remember something as he whipped away, only to return a few moments later with a plate of something that had gone beyond the definition of charred and jumped clear into incinerated.

"So, do you have any plans for the day?" She asked politely, not sure of the etiquette for the day.

"None that don't include you." He replied and though she didn't want to give herself over to him without being sure, she grinned as his blue eyes sparkled happily.

"Okay then, do _we_ have any plans for the day?" She revised, earning herself a very handsome smile in response.

"Not much, I thought maybe we could hang out at the beach. Maybe pack a picnic and then just see where the day takes us. What do you think?" He asked and she told him she was more than happy to tag along with his ideas.

Dressing in a long flowing skirt and a tank top which stopped just shy, showing just the barest sliver of skin, Bella smiled hesitantly at herself in the mirror. Her hair was down and still held a slight curl from the night before. "Are you ready?" She heard Jasper call, and as she all but skipped out the door, she grabbed a long cardigan knowing although it felt like summer; the wind probably had other ideas.

They walked down the beach hand in hand and Bella stopped them both midstride when the ocean finally came into view, the huge expanse reminding her so completely of home.

"I miss this." She said quietly and when he squeezed her hand in acknowledgment, she knew there was nothing more she needed to say.

They set up a little blanket close to the lapping waves when Jasper assured her the tide was going out and not in. The cooler he'd lugged with them was quickly opened and though it was still only a little before noon, he twisted the caps from two beers, handing one across to her.

While she watched the ocean, he watched her and while it didn't necessarily bother her to be so acutely observed, she was very aware of his attention and the tingle of electricity she felt as his eyes roamed over her skin.

"I want to kiss you." He said suddenly and though she was fairly certain she'd heard him correctly, she turned slowly and frowned.

"Excuse me?" She said.

"You heard me Bell; don't make me say it again." He said firmly and though he seemed to be full of self-assurance, she couldn't help looking for a sign of any uncertainty. Finding nothing, she quickly turned away, his intensity too much to process as she mustered all the reasons why it would be a bad idea to simply agree.

"Let's take a walk." She said and hopped to her feet, a part of her hoping he wouldn't follow and the conversation would end there. Only a few metres from the spot where they had been sitting, he was right by her side.

"I don't think it's a good idea Jasper. I just… I mean… I just don't." She tried to find anything to say other than the word Alice, but it was the warning name flashing violently in her head.

He seemed almost angry by her response and though she tried to keep her eyes from his, she failed after only seconds.

"Why not? You didn't seem to have a problem with fucking me." He said calmly and though the words themselves seemed harsh, she could see that he was really just trying to understand.

"You know why Jasper. You know why this isn't a good idea. I mean what would people think…" She trailed off, knowing that for her it was a misnomer, she had no one close enough to think ill of her and the rest of the people she surrounded herself with didn't even know she had a sister. Finding conflict in her own decisions and rationale, she strode ahead with purpose.

"It's just not right, not after everything…" He cut her off before she could finish as he grabbed her arm firmly and whipped her around. She hadn't realized he was this close as she almost barrelled into his chest.

"Shut up." He growled and as she opened her mouth to protest, he pulled her to him.

Bella let out a little squeak as she felt her body submit. His eyes were full of rich intensity as they burned into her, his hands pushed up the base of her cotton top, his fingers mapping out her skin with flames.

She could see the moment he made the decision, the moment desire morphed with something resolute and though she had only a fraction of a moment to react, she didn't back away and follow her own advice, she twisted her hands into his shirt, using him to press herself just a little closer.

His lips met hers with such an urgent need that there was nothing tentative or patient within either of them, there were no soft caresses or gentle touches of love. In the place of tenderness was a pure unbridled passion, something that she couldn't explain or control and for those very reasons, it scared Bella more than anything ever had in her life.

* * *

**a/n: It's been an epic trial to get this out, but it's finally here. I hate excuses so I won't bore you with them. **

**A big extraordinary thank you to my beta Twiticulate and my pre-reader Liamsgurl33, they are both super special and I'm just so glad they're on the WAL train with me. **

**Thank you to all of you who read/review/alert/etc - we're coming close to the end now and I'm just crazy happy that I'm not sitting here alone with this story! ****I'm going to work my arse off to get the next chap out to you super quick, so fingers crossed the wait shouldn't be very long at all. **

**x**


	28. Indescribable

Pulling her body away from his, Bella kept her eyes down as she tried to fight her way through what had just happened. She could still feel the tingle and taste of him on her lips, but she wanted more. Suppressing her need for him was the voice she had been wearing for the past six years, the one that wrapped her emotions up in bubble wrap, protecting her from even the most minor scrapes and bruises. It was that voice that came to the forefront first.

"Jasper, we can't…" She said with a breathless voice.

He seemed to be on a mission and without another word, his whole body pressed down on her once again and this time she felt him as he pushed her back. Her feet were unsteady as he walked her backwards in what she thought might be the direction of the basket. His lips were gentle, even when she pushed for more, finding it impossible to resist him, pulling him flush against her body, or tangling her fingers in his hair; he kept it that way.

Finally he was pleased with their spot, and she thought for a moment as he pulled away that he might just push her down underneath him. But he lay down of his own accord and instead of forcing her; he left her standing awkwardly on the sand.

After a few moments of nothing, she decided this must be some form of test. She knew she was over thinking everything, but her mind was now so trained to do so that she simply couldn't switch it off. Fighting against a self-taught instinct she kneeled down next to him, not actually touching his body, but sitting so close that it would only take a slight movement to change everything.

Now that she was here, she knew it was the final step, the final hurdle in accepting that she wanted this. His eyes were steadily watching her and when his fingers brushed against her cloth covered knee, her fascination only grew. He was so confident with her, so sure of his actions, that she easily found herself simply moulding under his touch.

His fingers tugged at the light fabric of her skirt, and understanding his intention, she lifted her knees slightly to allow him the room to lift the fabric. His thumb traced her knee, crossing over her skin as they both watched his caress.

Reaching higher, she could feel herself lift again, willing his touch further up her body. Just as her skin began to misfire with anticipation, he stopped moving altogether. His sudden stillness caught her attention and her eyes rose to meet his.

"I'm not just gonna fuck you Bell. If you want this, then it has to be something more."

Bella stared down at his hand half way up her thigh, her knees now parted to the point where she was sure if he looked away from her eyes, he would have the most wonderful view of her white lace panties. She knew that if he wanted to, he could just press his fingers a little higher, press her down in the sand and there would be no complaints. She was also fairly certain he knew that too.

She didn't sigh or groan. She didn't allow herself to linger on the name Alice. She just looked in his eyes, and immediately found what she was looking for: the truth that she really did want this man for more than just a weekend.

"How much more?" She asked with a half-smile on her face knowing that her words were something of a tease.

"Everything." He replied as he sat up, his hand gripping her thigh quite aggressively. The shudder of pleasure that she felt left her breath caught in her throat.

"I'm scared." She mumbled, fighting through her desire to find some honesty, rather than just the words she thought he wanted to hear.

"And you think I'm not? This could end in a huge fucking explosion of destruction Bell; but I want you, I want you in ways that drive me crazy." He admitted and seeing him so unhinged, Bella couldn't help but shuffle closer, pushing his hand up her thigh by default.

They both groaned in unison and Bella tried desperately to wriggle, twisting mercilessly under his touch.

"Isabella!" He growled angrily and she knew it wouldn't take long to break him, but it wasn't about that. It was an instinctual need that had forced her to move, while her body was attempting to keep up with the intellectual.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it Jasper." Closing her eyes, she pried his fingers away, knowing it was the only way she could step away from this knowing for sure she hadn't been coerced with the allure of sex.

"I want to try this…" She said hesitantly after almost a full minute staring down at her hands. "I want to try us together."

Raising her head slowly, she finally acknowledged that his lips were curved up into a wide smile and his blue eyes were already dragging her in. It didn't take long for his hands to follow and as he pulled her down to him, she felt her body wrap around his as he found her lips once more.

This kiss meant so much more and she could feel it in the way he was slow, almost testing her with every movement. He was no longer demanding anything, only asking. His tongue gently pressed forward and met hers, their bodies synching in a way Bella had never understood before.

Edward had been an obsession she had never touched, Jake had been a dear friend that had held the possibility of a deep love, but Jasper had the potential to tear her in two. The fact that she was lying here with him right now, leaving herself open to so much pain was a step she had never really thought she would take again.

"I love kissing you…" Jasper said as his hands pushed under the hem of her skirt, his nose brushing against hers affectionately.

Bella's nimble fingers pushed his white t-shirt high on his frame, forcing his arms in the air to accommodate her intentions. His hands left her body for only a fraction of time, but they were back immediately, exploring the contours of her porcelain flesh.

Bella's eyes roamed down over his hard chest and without the haze of alcohol she could truly appreciate him, the muscles which twitched under her fingers, his tanned skin a marked difference to her own. She felt delicate in his hands, so when he pushed back from her, she wondered why.

He must have seen the question in her eyes when he spoke without warning, his words a whisper on her cheek bone. "I don't think this is the right place for this." He looked pointedly over his shoulder and she followed his eyes, immediately sighting an elderly couple who were walking a bouncy black Labrador barely thirty feet away.

Nodding her head, she quickly jumped to her feet eager to make good on her choice, now that one had been officially made. She felt light in her decision, and though she tried not to linger too much on how certain factors had been influential, she also understood that the decision had been a long time coming.

Jasper repacked their picnic basket in record time. She expected him to take her hand once he was ready as he usually did, but he walked up to her, leaving his body barely millimetres from her own.

"Tell me if I'm going too fast Bell…" He said, his voice full of deep intensity. Bella was too intent on trying to hold herself back from just closing the miniscule gap, so she barely acknowledged his words.

His hand didn't find hers, instead it wrapped around her body, pulling her close to him, his fingers running over the inch of skin open above her skirt, ending at her top. She felt giddy on her feet, but with only a short distance to the house, she tried not to fall over herself. Knowing that while caution had been thrown to the wind, it didn't mean she could follow.

The house held a slight chill, and when doors were opened and their bodies were forced to depart, Bella felt like an abandoned atom with nowhere to go. She paced into the kitchen behind Jasper, and when he began to unpack the basket with a slow, yet controlled pace, she hopped up onto one of the counters to watch.

Swinging her legs back and forth a little uncharacteristically, she watched the sinews in his arms slide back and forth, the thoughtful look on his face as he ordered everything back in its place. He had never seemed so intent on something before, so when she caught him glancing her way with darkened eyes, she understood that his control wasn't for himself, but to tease her.

She tried to play along, but impatience overpowered her and she hopped to the floor and then took the few steps between them with impatient ease.

He 'mmmmed' in pleasure when her hands swept under his re-applied t-shirt and when she delved lower instead of up, her fingers tugging at the buttons on his jeans, she heard the sound of something crashing down on the kitchen counter.

When the buttons fell away, she pushed her hands lower, finding him hard and waiting for her. She gripped him eagerly and when she felt his hands reach behind his body to grip her hips, she only held him tighter.

There was something about performing this act in broad day light, in the middle of the kitchen, which seriously turned Bella on. She was trying to focus on his pleasure, but she began to slide her body against his, hoping to catch just a frisson of friction somewhere along the path. Their position wasn't particularly conducive to her pleasure and though she could feel from the strength of his fingers that he was desperate to touch her, she only quickened her pace.

"Fuck Bell, if you keep doing that I'm gonna cum right here." Jasper groaned out, and instead of relenting, Bella bit down hard on his shoulder. He hissed out in some form of pleasured pain and before she had the thought to protest, he was whipping around and lifting her effortlessly in the air.

They had barely taken two steps and his hands were already grasping at her panties, his fingers pushing them aside to explore her, his need mirroring her own. He threw her down on the counter and immediately, with her hands free, she began pawing at his clothes, the need to be with him so extreme that only grunts and moans of fevered desire filled the air.

His lips eventually found her again and as he ripped away her bra, she felt her panties follow quickly. She didn't even acknowledge that she was naked until she felt his hands tug and claw at every inch of her skin. His heavy touch was winding up her body into a spinning coil.

It had only taken minutes to find themselves naked and panting in the kitchen. So it was hardly surprising when Bella heard the familiar crinkle of foil and then suddenly he was pushing inside her.

Throwing her head back in pleasure, her graceful neck was simply too appealing and as he thrust into her with frenzied passion, he bit and sucked her creamy flesh. He tugged her to him in one way as he pushed her away in another. The sounds filling the room became violent and primal. Bella felt her whole body submit to his demands; she cried out in ecstasy, unable to control herself.

Jasper followed only moments later and he slumped against her, pausing to catch his breath. Running her hands down the slick sweaty surface of his hard frame, Bella softly extended his pleasure, unaware that such a simple action could have such a lasting effect.

Without a word, he lifted her whole body, her legs wrapping around his hips as she tucked her head into his powerful neck. Feeling completely blissful, she rubbed her nose back and forth, burrowing into him in delight.

They landed together on the soft, thick mattress and though they were now no longer joined as one, they still nestled together, their skin touching with an unspoken necessity. Not a word was spoken as Jasper caressed her body and as she slowly fell into a deep, relaxing sleep, he took the time to replay the day, which had barely begun.

"Hmmm." She grumbled as her mind pulled away from slumber, and though it was a whole new experience for her, Bella didn't even have to pause and wonder why her body was cocooned in another; why a hand was laying possessively on her hip; or why her body was lifting and falling with the rhythm of someone else's lungs.

Smiling before her eyes even had time to open, she couldn't find it in herself to feel anything but content within the status quo. From the faded light pouring into the room, Bella knew she had slept for a few hours at least, but when she tried to turn over, Jasper's hand that was draped over her hip clutched tighter, as if he subconsciously sensed an impending disaster.

"Sssshhh, I'm not going anywhere." She soothed to his sleeping form, and obviously on some level he understood, as his thumb rubbed back and forth as she turned gently.

He looked beautiful when he slept, she thought. He was a masculine dichotomy of strength and fragility and she felt a little in awe of him. Not a single thought of uncertainty emerged while she sat and watched his chest rise and fall, and though she knew it was wrong to do so, a restless need to hear his voice and see his eyes overtook her.

Starting out Bella's fingers skimmed over his skin with a feather light touch, but when he didn't even stir, she found herself pressing her body against his, her lips finding his skin with ever increasing force. When his fingers finally began to twitch and she could feel the signs of him coming to, she was busy nibbling on his neck and though her body was already asking for him again, she pulled back.

Brushing the soft blonde hair from his eyes, she waited as his gaze roamed all over her, as if reassuring himself that she was really here. Now that he was awake she wasn't sure what to do with him, so she waited and it seemed for now, he was happy to do the same.

Reaching her fingers out, she brushed them over his lips, feeling the dry warmth until his tongue darted out, catching the tip of her finger as he wet the rosy surface. She smiled instinctively and moved her fingers across to his jaw, feeling the coarse stubble give way to hard softness as she trailed up to his cheekbones. She was fascinated by him and as he allowed her this moment to acclimate her body with his, she had never looked so beautiful.

The following twenty four hours were spent falling in and out of each other, the safe winds that blew in from the ocean protecting them from thoughts of home and reality. They had mapped out the contours of their bodies with the aim to pleasure and please, hard and soft fingers, warm and penetrating tongues. So it was with a heavy heart that Bella took her first step down on the grey terrain of what she considered to be Chicago soil.

Desperately she wanted to ask what would happen now, but she also knew that the minute she did, their bubble would pop right out of existence.

"I want to stay with you tonight." Jasper said. There was that edge to his voice where she could already feel a little ominous 'but' creeping in, so she said it for him: "But?"

Smiling down on her thoughtfully, he walked them both to his car, her meagre belongings slung over his shoulder in a bag that had been packed by Leah.

"But I need to make a phone call first. Nothing bad, I just need to check that Esme can keep Otis for another day." He pushed the passenger door to his truck shut once she had safely climbed in and she had the time to consider whether she had heard the name 'Esme' before he circled to the driver's side with his phone to his ear.

The call was brief and friendly and at one point he turned to her with a broad grin on his face, making it clear that he was thinking of her as he spoke, "…it was the best trip yet."

His smile, as always, was infectious and as he dropped his phone down in the little pocket between their seats, she followed his every move. Bella had never been so fascinated by a person before. Suddenly he had become something of an obsession for her. When he wasn't around her, she was thinking of him and when he was, she so desperately longed to know everything he was thinking. Her own thoughts, quite rightly, were scaring her with their intensity, and she fought regularly to keep them at bay.

"That's okay, isn't it?" He asked and she realized they were still sitting in the airport hanger with his truck idling, going nowhere.

"Huh?" She replied as she struggled to remember what he might be referring to.

"If I stay? I know we haven't really talked about anything…"

Seeing an intensity appear in his eyes, she quickly interrupted him before he led them down a potentially dangerous path.

"I want you to… stay I mean."

As the truck rumbled up through the city, she thought about having him in her apartment, waking up to him in the morning and this time she knew it would be real.

Leah had left her a voicemail over the weekend informing her that they would be having a girls' night this week to discuss her meddling, and Bella smiled to herself as she had already pieced together what she would be telling her.

Deep in her thoughts, Bella felt her hand being taken and when she looked up, Jasper quickly glanced away from the road, his eyes meeting hers and asking if everything was alright. It felt wonderful then to know that she could interpret something so small, and instead of peppering him with assurances, she squeezed his hand and smiled warmly, as she nestled her feet underneath her on the seat, something she had never done before.

Few words were spoken between them as they approached more familiar haunts, but glances were passed periodically. Bella wasn't sure if it was the same for him, but if she had the choice she would never look away again.

With no necessity for directions and a familiarity on his part, they easily pulled up to a space in the parking garage below her building. Though his steps were steady, she could sense the tension in his arm as they stood waiting for the elevator. She could feel the heat from him against her side and when the doors finally slid open and they stepped inside, the doors hadn't even had time to glide shut as he threw their bags to the floor and pressed her up against the modern leather interior.

His hands, his tongue, his teeth, they all found her as she pulled at his hair, twisting her fingers into his blonde mess as she tried to pull him and push herself all at once. There was nothing clean or controlled about either of them, just a crazed need that neither even attempted to subdue.

By the time they had ascended to her floor, Bella was breathless. Her heart was fluttering like a humming bird in her chest, and though Jasper seemed to have the wherewithal to pick up their bags and walk down the hall, she could only grasp onto his arm and stumble behind him. Her whole being was too over indulged with him to function on a normal human level.

"Keys?" He asked as they both stood at the door, a half grin having found its way to his face as she looked at him with a dazed expression, making no move to grant them access to her home.

"Oh." She said quietly and then slowly began to search through her bag. Her actions were so slow she could have been highly medicated. She smiled in triumph when her fingers finally clutched around metal, but her efforts were slowed once again when instead of simply letting her unlock the door, Jasper wrapped his hands around her body from behind, his lips and tongue swirling over the tingling skin of her neck.

Her fingers fumbled once or twice, but finally the keys found their destination and the door was thrown opened. It was only with a bare hint of control that Jasper didn't just throw her down on the tiled floor of the entrance and embed himself in her right there.

Their luggage wasn't so lucky and it would only be later that she would find both pieces waiting patiently outside her front door.

"Bedroom. Now!" Jasper grunted, but when he saw the couch only feet in front of them, he immediately changed his mind. Picking up her body with ease, he lifted and then slammed her down. Laying himself on top of her as he ground his hips into her, his ever rising need for her eclipsed anything gentlemanly in his nature.

He ripped at her top, pulling it aggressively to one side until one of her breasts was exposed and immediately he clamped down, his teeth biting down as his tongue swirled around her nipple.

Her fingers tried to free them both from their clothing, but she was distracted easily, and as he fumbled with his own jeans, she tugged down her panties. The need to be devoured was too strong to wait.

Reaching down, she felt the slickness of her own desire coat her fingers and as she bucked her hips up, she rubbed back and forth as a moan of delight caught in her throat.

Jasper's hand trailed down hers and when he found her already pleasuring herself, he pulled his body back, his eyes dark as he watched her fingers coil to where he desperately wanted to be.

There was nothing loving between them when they both reached this point and as he reached for his jeans and fumbled with the foil packet of protection, he quickly wrapped his dick and then batted her fingers away aggressively.

Driving into her, Bella threw her spine up in surprise. The pain of having him fill her so quickly only adding to her pleasure and he pounded on and on, his need for her so strong that she fed eagerly from his energy.

Reaching down between them, she began to rub furiously back and forth as he thrust aggressively again and again, his upper body held back as he watched her.

Her body twisted and bucked underneath his and as he tried to hold her in place, he also willed her to let go, knowing that in time he wouldn't need to command her, that her trust and faith in him would have her spilling over the edge without his encouragement.

The tension in her body began to explode and as the sensations pooled from the base of her stomach to the tips of her toes, she arched over and over again, drawing him down into her in a way he had never experienced before. The strange angles were too much for him and as he grunted out as he pressed ever further inside her, he finally flopped down on top of her, pressing down with his full weight as he now knew she liked.

"Sorry Bell, I just couldn't wait, you just drive me fucking insane." Jasper repented into her neck and as she brushed her nails down over the ridges of his back, she kissed his skin softly.

"Nothing to apologise for." She finally said when he lifted his head to look in her eyes, trying to determine if there was any malice or hesitation there. Pressing down gently, Jasper took several kisses from her. The affection that had been missing only minutes before was now oozing from him as he carefully tugged and sucked her lower lip between his teeth.

"We need to eat something." Jasper finally said when he was feeding her kisses.

They had barely taken the time to emerge from bed for the past two days and food hadn't featured highly on their agenda, so it was with little surprise that with the thought in her head, her stomach suddenly felt cavernous and empty.

"Take out?" She asked and he agreed easily.

"I need a shower. I have menus in one of the drawers in the kitchen, so why don't you go ahead and pick something? I won't be long." She said and though she half expected him to make an attempt to join her, she needed a few moments alone to actually accept this was really happening.

It didn't bother Bella to walk naked through to her bathroom, and as she turned on and then stepped under the warm cascade of water, she felt her whole body sigh in pleasure. On the way in, she'd tried not to look at the faint bruises that covered several inches of her skin. She'd caught Jasper looking at them, but the most he had attempted in the way of an apology were tender touches and kisses.

Twisting her hip, she pressed down on the lightly purpled flesh and smiled to herself. Not only did she enjoy the strength, the force with which they were inflicted, but she also took pride in carrying around the memory of him on her body. It hadn't always been this way, and she knew there was something psychological and deep-rooted in her inability to truly let go on her own, but it wasn't something she had ever been willing to explore.

Shutting off the water, she walked back through to her bedroom and stood just inside her walk in closet, a thick towel wrapped around her as she had her very first genuine moment of panic.

She didn't know what to wear.

If she had been alone, she would already have thrown on some casual pyjamas, but it didn't seem right to do that now. She fingered through some of her more sexy camisoles, but she couldn't bring herself to put one on. She was still staring with wide eyes into the abyss when she felt warm, comforting arms wrap around her.

"Everything okay?" Jasper asked and she could feel the warmth of his bare skin on her own bare shoulders.

"Ummm…" She wondered if she should lie, but then he placed a simple kiss on her shoulder and the words came flooding out. "I didn't know what to wear."

He laughed deep and hard into her body and the fears that she had been building, drifted away.

"I don't care what you wear Bell, you look beautiful in everything; but if you want me to pick, I will."

Jasper didn't wait for a response and she was surprised when she felt him leave her. She whirled around and stood for a moment, her toes digging into the thick carpet as she wondered if she should follow.

His smile was wide as he reappeared in front of her, and when he held his hands out and slowly took the towel from her body, he immediately protected her from the cold as he wrapped his own shirt around her petite frame. His eyes were serious as he looped the buttons through the holes and when he was pleased with his efforts, he ran his hands down her body, ending at the exposed skin of her mid-thigh.

"Where do you keep your panties?" He asked and she pointed to a drawer, watching him as he intently leafed through, feeling certain she should be far more self-conscious to have him doing so at this juncture.

She expected something sexy and skimpy to emerge in his hands, but was pleasantly surprised when he knelt at her feet. She placed her hand on his shoulder for support as he lifted her foot and slid it through the hole of a pair of black satin boyshorts. He followed with the other leg and she felt her whole body shiver as he seductively trailed his fingers slowly up her legs as he pulled her panties into place. She couldn't believe how much she wanted him again.

"Now, no more distraction techniques; we need to eat." Jasper chastised in a teasing manner and firmly took her hand; keeping her from doing all the things she wanted to do as he ploughed past the living room to the kitchen.

He sat her down and moved away and she was sure it was intentional as he stepped back, his eyes lingering all over her body.

"Now, pick something, because first we're going to eat and then we're going to talk." His voice was stern and Bella groaned because while she knew it was necessary to do both, she wanted to do neither.

* * *

**a/n: This is another post and run - so as much as i would like to spend forever thanking everyone, a big MWAH to Twiticulate and Liamsgurl33. To the rest of you, I give you this chapter! x **


	29. Irrepressible

Setting down her fork, Bella stood and began to tidy the boxes from the table. Dinner had been filled with appreciative noises for the food, but little else in the way of conversation.

"So you wanted to talk?" Bella asked as she leaned casually against the open doorframe, one bare calf wrapping around the other as she watched Jasper rise to his feet.

"I did." He said and she forced her body not to run to him as he stepped closer.

"I wanted to know how you felt about everything now that we're back." Jasper said, his fingers reaching between the buttons of the shirt he'd draped over her body, just barely touching her skin beneath.

"I don't think we've been back long enough yet for me to really know. Ask me again in a few days." She replied, trying to imagine what a few days would do to the intimacy they'd developed over the past seventy two hours.

They were hard days, she had to admit once they'd come and gone. Work felt like nothing had changed, but in her heart she knew that absolutely everything had. Of course no one knew anything different and while she'd always been so protective of her private life, she longed for someone to tell her she looked different, or even talked different, because internally, she felt like someone else.

Jasper spent all of his days up north in his home, and with a tight schedule and regime she wasn't willing to ignore, they had little time for one another. Friday seemed like a world away, but when she received a phone call on Thursday from Jasper informing her he would be out of town for a week, she felt her spirits hit the floor, officially ending her high.

"No, no, it's fine… I understand. Work comes first." She reasoned, the words a lie on her lips. Work was now something she did to pass the time before she could see him again, not the epicentre of her universe as it had once been.

"I'll be back before you know it." He offered and she took his words and tried to make them real, but they both knew it was a fallacy.

Burying herself in editing words and managing people, Bella dreamed often, perpetual incantations of his touch on her skin, his breath tickling her body, and his eyes as they demanded she drop all her barriers and just be with him.

Days morphed, night and day merged and then finally he was back. His voice was as clear down the phone as it had been from thousands of miles away, but now he felt so close that she was all but vibrating with anticipation.

"Listen, I want you to spend the weekend with me in my place, but first there's something I was hoping you would say yes to…" Jasper began and Bella felt a twinge of apprehension, recognizing that he was asking her to spend time in territory that Alice had once occupied, but all that became almost insignificant when he continued. "…It's Leah's mom's birthday tomorrow and of course Leah is throwing her a party. I want you to come. As my date." Bella could hear the hesitation in his voice, almost as if he were holding the receiver far from his body in fear of her response, so obviously, she deduced, there was more to this seemingly innocent invite.

"Okay, so why do I get the impression that you think I'm going to say no?" She said, waiting as the line went quiet.

Jasper sighed and then he was talking again, his voice resigned. "Maria Hale, is one of Tess Clearwater's best friends. She's bound to be there and no doubt Rosalie will be too."

"You think Alice will be as well, don't you?" Bella finished for him.

"Yeah I do, even if she doesn't have a formal invite, she always seems to find a way."

Bella rolled back in her office chair and mulled his words over and over. If she said yes, then there would be a lot of eyes on her, a lot of scathing words spoken no doubt and an official announcement regarding her personal life that she could never take back.

"Damn it. Fine, let's do it." Bella concluded, still not sure whether this was the right move to make or not.

"Really? I have to say, that wasn't the response I expected." Jasper seemed pleased by her choice and she didn't stop herself from admitting that she liked the subtle sounds of a smile in his voice.

"Okay, so tell me what I need to know? Does Leah know I'll be there?" There were a million questions which she felt needed answers, especially those that just might stop her from looking like a self-conscious idiot when faced with the consequences of her choices, or the two bitches as she also knew them in her head.

After letting her know that he would pick her up at eight the following day, Jasper bid her goodnight and she walked out of her office still hearing the longing embedded in the tones of his voice. He missed her, she thought; he missed her just like she missed him.

"Leah, oh thank God I caught you. Jasper invited me to your mom's party and when I asked what to wear he wasn't too forthcoming with ideas." Bella gushed.

"You said yes! Oh this is going to be fabulous! Just promise me that whatever happens, you call me the minute anything crazy goes down."

Bella laughed, but she did wonder precisely what Leah saw in her future.

"Anyway, it's a champagne cocktail party, so anything short and sexy would definitely do the trick. Do you have lunchtime open tomorrow? I could meet you at this little boutique I know that's simply to die for."

As soon as Bella hung up, she emailed Seth requesting him to move her Friday lunch appointment to Monday and she spent the night preparing for what was to come. The bath that she hoped would be a relaxing antidote to her day was spent just rolling through the possible scenarios in her mind, but not once did she let the potential encounter overwhelm her.

Lunchtime came quickly and as she stepped out of the cab onto a street she'd passed down many times before, she was amazed once again to find Leah standing outside a little brown brick building she'd never noticed before. She felt a slight sense of déjà vu, the memory of meeting Leah down a darkened alley way fighting its way to the forefront of her mind.

"Bella!" Leah enthused as she threw her arms around her friend's body, the welcome so grand that Bella almost stumbled back.

"I've already taken a look inside, and you missy, are in for a treat." Leah grabbed her hand and tugged her behind her, a little sharp bell ringing as she pushed the heavy brown door open.

"Ladies, this is Isabella Swan." Leah said, introducing Bella to the girls, but not the other way around. "Do you have the dresses I picked out?"

The room only seemed to have three short racks of clothes and Bella looked on attentively as a statuesque blonde led them through a purple velvet curtain to a similar sized room with a beautiful Japanese screen in the corner.

Four dresses were hanging on the walls, each beautiful in their own way. She didn't have much time to waste, so she immediately got to work on discarding her neat little black pant suit.

"Try this one first." Leah commanded as she brought a silver knee length satin dress forward. Standing back to assess herself in the mirror, Bella couldn't find exactly what it was that she didn't like, but she knew it wasn't quite right.

"Hell No!" Leah shouted, immediately dismissing the garment when Bella emerged from behind the screen. "Let's try the gold next."

The gold looked better on than she'd imagined, but it was a little too big and Bella didn't have the time for adjustments to be made. Another time, she thought.

"Alright, this is my personal favourite. I was going to save it until last, but I'm desperate to see how it looks on." Leah said, passing forward a black sparkling garment. With long sleeves and a back that was all but non-existent, Bella ran her hands down from her slender waist to her hips in delight.

"I knew that would be the one. I'm not even going to waste time having you try on the last one. I'm right aren't I; you love it?" Leah stood up as she spoke, adjusting the flowing fabric that fell from Bella's shoulders to the very base of her spine.

"It reminds me a little of the one I wore to the gala, the one where Jasper and I danced." The moment had taken on a whole new meaning now that they were something more than friends and she couldn't wait to try it again. Especially now that when his hands roamed her bare skin, they would do so with a whole new meaning.

She almost didn't want to take the thing off, but then she remembered the meetings which she still had to endure that afternoon, so with reluctance she stepped back into her working uniform.

"Do you have time to grab something to eat?" Leah asked as Bella handed over her card to the salesgirl and smiled broadly as she tucked the dress into a suitable garment bag, giving her dress the attention it rightfully deserved.

"Umm, I have about thirty minutes until I need to be back, so maybe a coffee and a sandwich." Bella offered as she held the door open for her friend.

"Well, why don't we head back to your office? I'm sure you know somewhere great around there." Leah said as she strode to the edge of the sidewalk and a sleek black car pulled up as if she'd just muttered a magical incantation.

The drive back to her office was short, but that didn't stop Leah from pounding out the questions the minute they had pulled away from the curb.

"So I take it you and Jasper are official? I mean you wouldn't be showing up tonight on his arm if that wasn't the case, right? He did tell you that Rosalie is going to be there, didn't he?" Leah's eyes were wide and excited, something Bella found she had missed from their time apart.

"Yes, he told me and I'm not sure I'm really willing to think about what's going to happen. I just want to go out, dance with Jasper and let everyone stare. Because after tonight, it's only going to be about him and me; nothing and nobody else will matter." Bella said with a certain finality, only hitting on the truth in her words once they had been spoken.

"Just so long as you know people will stare, and a few might even call you Alice. I've warned my Mom and of course that means all her friends will know by now too. So you haven't even told me anything really yet; how did this all happen? I knew if we just gave you both that last shove…" Leah said delightedly, basking in her own triumph.

"Actually Leah about that whole auction thing, I can't believe you paid that much just for a date. There must have been an easier way." Bella eyed her friend with a little reproach, hoping there might be a few forthcoming answers that might assuage her guilt over the exorbitant amount that both she and Paul had paid.

"Well it wouldn't have nearly been so much if that friend of yours wasn't so intent on buying a little time with you. But it's all for charity Bella and you can't honestly tell me that if I tried to set you up, you wouldn't have gone running for the hills." Leah finalized her statement by lifting her eyebrow in a physical challenge.

"Fine, maybe I would. But I still think you're nuts and poor Paul; I'm sure he had no idea what he was being dragged into… wait a minute, you said _my friend_. You know who the other bidder was?" Bella asked, her heart racing a little faster at the thought of finally figuring out the mystery.

"Of course I do, it was an Alec somebody or other. I can't remember now; but I can look it up if you need me to?" Leah queried and Bella shook her head. "No, you don't need to do that."

Alec hadn't featured in her thoughts for months and internally she was glad that Leah had won the auction, because the level of guilt she would have felt if he'd managed to outbid her just might have pushed her into a relationship she didn't want. The thought made her shudder a little and she had to remind herself that it hadn't happened that way, that it was Jasper lips she would be kissing later tonight.

The rest of their lunch flew by with questions lining up one after another, most of which Bella simply refused to answer due to the intimacy of their nature. While she simply adored Leah and her pushy eccentricities, she was also only interested in keeping her relationship with Jasper very close to her heart.

Bella had just put the finishing touches on her tousled, pinned back hair as she heard the rap of knuckles on her door. The butterflies, which had been dormant all week, fluttered into life and she all but skipped to the door, excitement and anticipation bouncing around inside her.

"Jasper." She breathed out his name and allowed herself the time to follow his body all the way from his lean black fabric encased legs, all the way up his broad torso, to the appreciative glint in his eyes.

"Bell, you look so beautiful darling that you're making me rethink this whole going out thing." He said as he stepped forward, his movements lithe and powerful. She found herself unable to move from the spot and when his body was all but upon her, she peeled her hand back from where it had been gripping the door, reaching out to spread her whole palm across his chest.

"Oh no, we're definitely going. This dress is too pretty to stay indoors." Truthfully, though she was more than willing to stay right here, especially if the dark look in his eyes was a prelude to the potential for the night ahead. However, she also couldn't remove the picture of his hand pressed against her bare skin as he led her around the dance-floor. Just as that thought had escaped her mind, she felt her whole body being wrapped in his, his palm pressed just where she had imagined it.

It felt even better than it had in her memory and when he stilled their silent waltz and lowered his head to hers, she thought she just might melt into a Bella puddle. His lips felt exquisite and she forgot all about everything but the feel of him, the taste of him and the feelings which poured from her just to be so near to him.

"About that whole going out thing…" Bella grumbled when he pulled away, but she could already see the hint of laughter in his eyes.

"I promise we won't do any of that crazy going out stuff for the whole rest of the weekend if you'll just give me tonight." Jasper said and Bella found that she could deny him nothing.

"Fine, but you better protect me from any evil sisters." She replied, nuzzling into his neck, not caring at all about the carefully applied make-up she might be ruining.

"I promise." He said firmly, taking his oath very seriously. She wondered if he thought this night was going to be as pivotal as she imagine it would be, but she had little time to dwell as suddenly he was rushing her out the door and down to his truck.

The night whipped by easily and when he held open her door and she felt his arm wrap around her body with a protective grip, she couldn't believe just how quickly they had arrived at this place.

"Jasper, Bella." Someone called, and they both turned to find the voice, smiling as Emmett rushed towards them, parting crowds in his pristine tuxedo and imposing size.

"Don't you just look wonderful together? I can't believe Seth didn't even tell me about this." He said, his hand gesticulating up and down and Bella correctly assumed he was referring to the two of them as a couple.

"Well you shouldn't be too mad at him, I'm not even sure if he knows. I mean, I didn't tell him." Bella replied and she felt Jasper give her side a little squeeze, but she wasn't exactly sure why.

"Are you crazy Miss Swan? And why the hell, may I ask, are you keeping this a secret? It better not be because of that sister of yours." Emmett said as he frowned at her in a manner that seemed more parental than anything else. Bella laughed and found the action quite refreshing, because now that Emmett had started the ball rolling with his reference to Alice, she felt more at ease in her expectations for the night.

"I just didn't think it was anyone's business." She finally offered and looked up at Jasper for a little reassurance. He simply smiled and brushed his lips across hers, and effortlessly, she felt understood.

"Well, congratulations anyway; even if it is the world's worst kept secret." Emmett grinned and they parted ways as he sought out Seth in the crowds.

"Are you ready to go in?" Jasper asked, eyeing her for any signs of hesitancy.

"I am." Bella replied with a wide smile and then allowed him to lead her body through the gathering crowds, finding the inner ballroom full of people that looked their way with interest and then quite often turned to a nearby companion to whisper in their ear. Bella didn't even know a fifth of the people, but she certainly got the impression that the majority knew her.

"Here." Jasper said as he grabbed a flute of champagne from a waiter walking by and held it in front of her to take.

"What about you?" Bella asked, but still took the drink and then a healthy sip.

"I'm driving, but I might have a beer later." He said and she grinned, because Jasper with a beer made far more sense than Jasper with a fragile flute of champagne.

"What's so funny?" He asked, whirling her body to face his and breaking down the gap between them to mere centimetres. She opened her mouth to answer, but a happy deep voice calling her name drew her head around, finding a relieved Paul striding their way.

"Guys, I'm so glad you're here! Rachel is driving me fucking nuts." Paul sighed and threw back what looked like a couple inches of whiskey.

"Well, at least you two look pleased with yourselves." He said a little angrily and Bella found Jasper's arm wrapping around her again.

"Seriously dude, I'm happy for you, but fuck!" Paul looked like he was struggling with something and as Bella spotted Leah's head in the crowd, she looked up at Jasper.

"Leah's over there, I think I'm just going to say hello." It wasn't a question, but she did wait for Jasper to find Leah himself and then nod slightly with a very well concealed acceptance.

"Leah." Bella called as she closed in on her friend and as soon as Leah clocked her presence, she was paraded around Leah's relatives as though she were a long lost friend. People hugged her, grasped her hand in delight and it was only after one of Leah's aunts started asking her questions about Leah's book that she understood why she was being welcomed so enthusiastically. She felt ashamed of her own pride and cursed the paranoia that she'd walked in with for clouded her judgement.

Jasper found her eventually and it was only when his arms encircled her and his lips found the cusp of her collar bone did she remember just how wonderful it felt to be his.

"Everything okay?" She asked quietly, and knew that he would understand her question.

"He's fine; just drunk and scared, because for once he actually gives a fuck." Jasper offered easily and Bella was very aware of the lack of reservations he now held with her.

"C'mon, I want to dance with my girl." Jasper said, pulling her towards the dance floor. She didn't hesitate at all and she felt almost giddy to know that they were clearly on display, announcing themselves to their world.

"I can't wait to take you home tonight." He whispered in her ear as his hand stroked down her exposed spine and she pressed herself against him just a little more in response.

"You know you could always just take me home right now." Bella's voice was muffled into his shoulder, but she knew he would hear.

"Hmm, not long now, I promise. The guest of honour hasn't even arrived yet."

Bella pulled back slightly to find his eyes. "And when she does?" She asked, a soft coaxing smile pulling up the corners of her lips.

"Then we wish her a Happy Birthday and get the hell out of here." He growled back and then sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, a promise of more to come.

Bella quietly groaned out her approval as he led her body around the dance floor, the rise and fall of his frame guiding hers with ease.

When the song ended and another faster beat rose in its place, they stepped away from the floor, walking towards the bar mentally wrapped up in one another.

With a beer in his hand and another champagne in hers, they watched them approach, his fingers guiding their way under and around the fabric of her dress to hold her bare waist in the most intimate of ways.

"Bella and Jasper, what a delight!" Alice called, bouncing closer, her eyes scanning them ferociously but her smile remaining firmly in place.

"Rosie said you might be here." She continued, looking over her shoulder, drawing attention to a rather subdued looking Rosalie and Edward.

"Have you heard the wonderful news? Oh I know you probably have, but just let me tell you anyway; you'll pretend for me won't you?" Bella subtly looked up at Jasper to see if he had any indication as to what Alice was babbling about, but he seemed just as clueless with his eyes slightly narrowed and his shoulders firmly held.

"Alice, I don't think that's such a good idea, do you?" Rosalie shouted in a controlled whisper, her voice high and tight with tension. Bella cast her attention over the always perfectly composed Ice Queen, her body rigid as she no doubt prayed for Alice to submit.

"Oh Rosie, you know that Bella and Jasper are family. They won't tell anyone." Bella felt the same eerie feeling she now recognized accompanied any words that fell from Alice's unpredictable mind.

"Bella, you're going to be an aunt! Isn't it fantastic?" Alice grabbed Bella's hand before she could pull her body back and pressed it to the little bump protruding from her lower abdomen. Not sure of the words she should say, she managed to force congratulations from her lips.

"Who's the father?" Jasper spoke from over her shoulder and Bella felt herself turn cold, fearing that she was about to find herself tangled in an inescapable web.

"Oh aren't you so sweet Jasper. I mean I wish it was you, then we could be a little family again…" Jasper gripped down on Bella's waist so tight that she jumped a little, earning her an apologetic caress in response.

"Anyway, it's ours." Alice said, turning back to Rosalie and Edward with a wide grin, one which neither of them reciprocated. Edward looked sheepish, his eyes finding the floor fascinating. Rosalie on the other hand looked furious.

"Alice. I said that's enough!" Rosalie hissed, her teeth clenched so tight her words seemed pained.

"Yes Alice, enough." Edward finally spoke, but he still couldn't bring his eyes up.

"Don't be silly guys. I'm sure they're happy for us, aren't you?" Alice asked, her eyes wide like a small child. Bella looked up at Jasper and she was surprised to find something of an amused smirk on his lips.

"Umm, yeah Alice, we're happy for you." Bella offered, not really sure she felt much of anything other than confusion. "So, this baby… your baby. It's yours and Edwards?" Bella asked, finding a little malicious pleasure in forcing the situation to be made clear when it was obvious both Rosalie and Edward would rather be crawling under a rock right now.

"No Belly, it's all of ours. Edward and I thought it would be a really nice treat for Rosie, especially because she was finding it so hard to get pregnant." Alice said, innocently correcting her twin.

Bella looked to Rosalie and Edward once again and squashed down the pleasure she felt in seeing them so ruined. It looked like the only person who Alice hadn't damaged in any way was herself and even that was debatable.

"So what're you going to do now, the three of you?" Jasper asked and Bella easily found the amusement in his voice.

"Oh, we're going to live in Forks. Rosie and Edward both want the baby to grow up in a small town, somewhere where there's less crime…" Alice looked to her two companions for confirmation and Rosalie provided only a tight nod. Bella however, was almost certain that crime had nothing to do with their decision. It was more likely that Rosalie and Edward wanted to hide away their shame. "Charlie's going to be so excited to be a Grand-daddy." Alice added, drawing attention back to her own little blissful brand of crazy once again.

"Well congratulations, Alice, Rosalie, Edward…" Jasper said, nodding to each in turn, " …I hope everything goes well with the baby..."

"Wait, what do you mean? You and Belly will come to visit all the time, right? I mean, of course you will now that everything has turned out just like it was meant to?" Alice interrupted, her bottom lip jutted out in an intentional pout.

Bella could feel in the twitch of his muscles that Jasper was about to respond and immediately she grasped his hand, letting him know she would field this one. "Actually Alice, with work being so hectic for both of us, well, we can't make any promises, but of course we'll try."

Excusing their presence and walking away, Bella heard Rosalie pounce on Alice the minute their backs were turned; chastising her for openly admitting to something the three of them hoped to keep secret. Bella didn't know exactly what Rosalie had planned for the three of them, but Bella knew for certain she was going to have a hard time keeping Alice in line.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked as they stepped into some clear air.

"Yeah, I just…. I know you said you thought something was going on, but this is nuts! I don't know if I should be angry, or incredibly happy." Jasper replied, his hands holding firm to her even in his indecision. Bella didn't fault him for not being clear with himself; Alice was a minefield and one that seemed to blow when you least expected it. Also, it was hard to be upset with him when she couldn't find a grip on how she felt about the whole thing herself.

"Would you be disappointed in me if I told you that I really, _really_ want Leah to know all about this?" Bella asked, biting on her bottom lip because she knew that it was wrong to still be seeking revenge.

"No, I don't think I would mind that in the slightest." Jasper finally deduced., Bella grinned, and offered her own words.

"Do you want some time to think about all this, or would you like to come with me?" Bella was careful to respect the magnitude of how he might feel about this. After all, it wasn't so long ago that he had admitted to Alice's deception regarding a pregnancy, something he had only recently become aware of.

"Hell no, I don't need to think about anything. Good fucking luck to them."

Bella didn't move for a minute, looking over him for any uncertainty. Pleased with what she found, Bella lifted herself to the very tips of her toes and pressed herself against him to kiss him, pushing every emotion she could muster into the simple act.

Pulling back, she watched as his eyes slowly opened, the pure want in his sapphire soul mirroring hers.

"How about we go and tell Leah, wish her Mom Happy Birthday, and then get the hell out of here? I have a friend at home who's missed you."

Bella's thoughts immediately ran to something crude and he must have caught her reaction as he laughed aloud. "Actually, I was talking about Otis!" Jasper chortled and Bella couldn't help the red blush which found its way to her cheeks. "But don't you worry Bell, I'm only gonna let you out of bed this weekend to make me breakfast, oh and dinner too if you're good!" Bella laughed along and leaned her body against his as he threw his arm around her again.

"Guys, I thought maybe you'd skipped out on me." Leah scolded, her hand posed on her hip.

"Leah, you're never going to guess what happened?" Bella exclaimed in an excited, teasing voice, unable to keep her calm.

"No way Swan, you promised to call me if anything went down. Don't tell me I missed your sisters personal brand of crazy again?" Leah huffed and Bella waved away her gruff response.

"Never mind that… anyway… Alice is pregnant and I think you just might be able to guess who the father is." Bella's words cascaded and when Leah looked at Jasper with one eyebrow raised, he was the one to quickly correct her. "No fucking way!"

"Oh my god, no…. are you serious?" Leah exclaimed, drawing several pairs of eyes to their direction. "Edward Cullen?" She said in an exaggerated whisper, the sound of which was almost as alluring to the surrounding ears as when she'd shouted out.

"You're serious aren't you? Oh, you can bet your ass I absolutely have to go and wish the happy couple congratulations." Leah was about to run off when Bella stopped her.

"Actually, it's a happy threesome, or not so happy actually." Bella grinned, feeling genuinely gleeful even though she appreciated the emotion spoke only of a darker self.

"This is too much! So Rosalie is staying with Edward? They're doing this all together? God, I can't wait until my mom hears about this, or Maria; she's gonna to flip." Leah was off in another world and as Bella and Jasper walked away, she looked back over her shoulder to see Leah all but running towards Alice. Rosalie's eyes were darting over faces, looking for something, and the minute she was caught in the sadness of her gaze, Bella knew who it was she was searching for her.

It was no less than she deserved, Bella thought, and before she turned back away and faded into the night, Bella left her oldest enemy with a casual little wave, a smile of accomplishment on her lips and the knowledge that karma, most certainly, was a bitch.

"Let's go home."

Jasper's words brushed down over her and Bella hopped up into the passenger seat of his truck, basking in bliss when his words finally hit her with their full force. She didn't know why, when everything should be going wrong, suddenly everything seemed to be going right.

**a/n: Sadly folks there is only one chapter left to go and that will the epilogue. Hopefully up next weekend. A huge big thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed this fic, I can't believe it's almost over!**

**On a happy note, I'm posting a new story tomorrow featuring Bella and Paul, so if you're a wolf fan, then hopefully you'll check it out. It's called **_**When Darkness Falls**_** and I wish I could give you the summary, but I'm still not happy with the wording. All I will say is it's a lot darker than anything I've tried to write before, so hopefully it's something new for anyone who likes my fics.**

**A big hug and thanks to my beta Twiticulate and my pre-reader Liamsgurl33 and a BIG shout out to Bookbytes, who I did an interview with this week and has been ridiculously supportive of my fics. If you want to check it out, I've put a link up on my profile page. **


	30. Indiscerptible

"How long until we land?" Bella asked, shuffling in her luxurious seat as she peered out into the dark oblivion beyond her tiny window. Smiling softly, Jasper spoke warmly as he picked up her fidgeting hand. "About five minutes less than the last time you asked."

Despite herself, she couldn't help but turn and smile at him, catching Paul's eye as he watched their interaction. He winked at her effortlessly and then her attention was lost, trapped in the safety of Jasper's deep eyes. To everyone else it probably looked like a simple repositioning of her body during a laborious cross country flight, but to the man who knew every nuance of her body and its language, it spoke of something deeper.

"Hey B, do you think that pesky little twin of yours is going to show her face this weekend?" Paul asked casually and she was taken aback slightly when Jasper snapped at him roughly in response. "What the fuck dude? Do you really think now was the time to ask that question."

Bella rubbed his hand, trying to ease the protective tension from his body. She understood that Paul had no reason to know that she was harboring a secret apprehension for exactly what she was going to find in her hometown, especially since she hadn't stepped foot there for over a decade.

"It's fine." She lied in an attempt to smooth everything over. "I'm pretty sure she'll be there Paul, after all Forks isn't exactly Chicago and Alice has never been one to hide behind anything."

It had been three years since she'd seen her sister, and not from a lack of effort on Alice's part. Barely a month went by when she didn't receive a long tortuous voicemail begging for her presence. The worst months were when Alice enlisted Charlie in on the act too, because no matter what demons resided in her closet, being guilt tripped by her father never got any easier.

"You know, I heard from my mom that Rosalie is working at the local school now, teaching Home Ec of all things; apparently she hates it." Leah butted in, never one to miss an opportunity to share her wealth of knowledge on anything.

"I don't get it. Why the hell would she be teaching?" Bella asked, trying to picture Rosalie doing anything that required her to act like a pleasant human being, struggling even more because the vision also involved children. Not only teaching those children, but actually providing domestic lessons she wasn't convinced Rosalie herself knew.

"Well, rumor has it Edward got himself into a little trouble with money. I guess if you want to hide from your wife and crazy baby mama, there are only so many places to go in the middle of the night. On a good note, the local casino's revenue has been up in the last few quarters." Leah finished with a smirk.

Bella couldn't help the little smile of pleasure that drew up the corners of her lips, and just for a few minutes she forgot about the potential of what was waiting for her on the ground.

Feeling Jasper's arm wrap around her shoulders, she understood this was his way of trying to make her feel better. So in return she nestled her body into his, burying her head into the crook of his neck. She listened in as Paul and Leah speculated on which of the hot girls they knew might be at the wedding, happy to be a peripheral party to their conversation. Paul and Rachel had only broken up a few months prior, but this was the first time he'd openly expressed interest in moving on, something which she knew would bring Jasper a little relief. Feeling the vibrations up and down Jasper's body as he joined in she closed her eyes, basking in the light hearted energy in the air.

"Bell?... Bell?" Wriggling away from the hands that were shaking her shoulder lightly, she turned away, earning her a delicious deep chuckle from somewhere to her left. The world she was in felt different, she decided. But it took opening her eyes and seeing Paul and Leah wrapping themselves up in winter coats to figure out they had landed.

"We're here?" She asked rhetorically and Jasper lifted his lithe body upwards, stretching out his arms before turning to Bella again. "Are you ready for this?" He asked and she didn't quite know how to answer, so she chose not to as she stood and enclosed her arms around his neck, drawing herself to him. Whenever she couldn't find the words she needed, she often sought solace in his arms.

"Hey you two, you can do all that love shit later, there's a bar out there somewhere with my name on it, so how about we get a fucking move on?" Bella was so used to Paul's outbursts by now that even though his voice held a sharp anger, she knew enough to laugh.

They meandered from the plane to the waiting car and as the synthetic lights faded to trees and nature, Bella felt a soft familiarity return, the realization that she was finally returning home.

"I can't believe they decided to get married out here! I mean seriously B, this place is a ghost town." Looking out at the gloomy buildings she had known well as a child, she couldn't help but agree with Leah. After the lights of Chicago, Forks didn't offer the warmth she expected, it fundamentally felt empty and depressing. Snuggling a little closer to Jasper, her eyes flitted down streets she used to know, memories from her past surfacing with each familiar sight.

"A bar!" Paul shouted out gleefully as they passed a neon sign which hadn't been there before. "How much further to the cabin B?" Paul asked, his eyes glowing with excitement. She laughed a little when they passed another neon sign, this one receiving even more enthusiasm than the last.

The rented cabin, an accommodation decision deemed necessary by Leah, was only a few miles out of town and as Bella stepped out into the frosty autumn air, she inhaled deeply. The fresh scent of trees and earth rolled over her and she found a soft smile on her lips, earning her a deep kiss from an ever-attentive Jasper. He'd been to Forks before with Alice, so she didn't feel the need to act as a tourist guide, and while a few years back that thought might have rattled her, she was content now to accept what had come before.

Settled deep in the forest next to a picturesque lake, Bella's eyes trailed over the rustic cabin, pleased that she'd agreed to something more than the local motel. Inside was pleasantly decorated and after allowing Leah time to dictate who would be sleeping where, she stepped through the living room to the bedroom she would be sharing with Jasper.

Sitting down heavily on the neat queen size bed, Bella listened in silence to the jovial voices of her companions, content to find a moment alone. It hadn't been an easy decision to return to her old home town, but she also knew that with nearly all of her ghosts exorcised, it was probably overdue.

"Hey B, get your dress on; we have the rehearsal dinner in an hour. Do you know where the McCarty place is?" Leah's head popped around the doorframe as she spoke, her long dark hair hanging in waves that reminded Bella of luxurious silk.

"Yeah I do, it's about fifteen minutes from here. Hey, would you mind looking at these two dresses? I still can't make my mind up." Bella walked over to two of the three garment bags she'd brought with her and carefully unzipped both. Leah immediately took to the task, touching the fabrics and lifting one and then the other in the air.

"The gold one, definitely." Leah finalized her decision with a little nod, before shaking her head comically and stepping away when Paul whined her name from the living room.

Bella had just tucked the last strand of her hair into place when Jasper walked back into the room; his casual attitude throwing her as he effortlessly threw off his clothes and walked naked into their adjoined bathroom.

"You do know we have to be ready in ten minutes?" She asked as she followed him, her eyes undeniably trained on the curve of his ass as he stepped out of view.

"Huh? What'd you say?" He asked, his voice muffled over the dim roar of flowing water.

"I said…" She began, walking further into the bathroom. "…That we need to be…" The words fell away when she spied the amused glint in his eye, the one that confirmed she'd just walked into a very obvious ploy. Raising her hands out in defense, she stumbled backwards. "Nuh uh, no way mister." She cried out as he stepped forwards, drops of water tumbling from his wet hair down his muscular torso.

"Please?" She pleaded, seeing very little in the way of potential to get out of this bathroom with her make-up and hair intact. "I'll do anything?" She continued and the glint that she'd previous spotted exploded into absolute bliss.

"Anything?" He growled, his body still stalking hers.

"Anything." She promised as he lifted her in the air, her legs wrapping around him flawlessly.

He kissed her roughly, and when his teeth bit down lightly into her lip, she forgot all about the way the water on his body was ruining the care she'd put into her masked face. Moaning easily into his mouth, she almost found herself groaning out in protest when he deposited her back just outside the bathroom door.

"I'm holding you to that." He reminded her, his stare full of later intentions as he turned on the spot, leaving her to pick up her swooning muscles and bones.

He reappeared just in time to zip up her gold sheath of a dress, his body still warm and damp as he pressed it down on hers.

"Do you even care that you might be ruining a very expensive dress?" She asked jokingly as she caught his eye in the mirror, his hands roaming from her neck down to the tips of her exposed thighs. Not a word came from his lips as he stepped away, leaving her to remember his imprint on her body, the feel of him still surrounding her with the deep feelings he always invoked with his presence.

She sat on the edge of the bed as he dressed into a smart dress shirt and tie, a compromise knowing that tomorrow he would be thrown against his will into a very formal three piece suit.

"Is it safe to come in yet?" Leah called from the doorway, not bothering to follow through with any haste as she threw the door open, her long brown legs making a very prominent appearance in a super short white bubble dress.

"Uh Leah, isn't the bride supposed to be the one in white?" Bella smirked as Leah stepped in and twirled almost inappropriately as her dress rose with the motion.

"Yes, but as you well know Miss Swan, my little brother's wedding is definitely lacking in one of those. So somebody had to compensate, didn't they Jas?" Jasper just laughed when Leah threw a very obvious and provocative wink his way, shaking his head with obvious amusement.

"Let's go ladies." He said, stopping their friendly repartee when he took both of their hands, leading them through to a sullen Paul who was already sipping from a small silver flask.

"Finally!" Paul sighed dramatically and Bella gave Jaspers hand a little squeeze as he looked on at his friend with dark eyes.

"Okay everyone, the car is waiting." Leah called as she organized everyone into a spotless little line, tutting loudly when Paul refused to part with his liquid companion.

The McCarty's home looked just as Bella had remembered it from her haunted recollections and as she watched Paul and Leah walk arm in arm through the lavish doorway, she paused.

Jasper didn't ask her any questions, instead he moved himself in front of her, forcing her to look at him instead.

"I love you." He said as his eyes pierced down into her heart, wrapping her up in his protection. The words had been hard for both of them, built and forged after months of disagreements and uncertainty. Bella would never lie and say that their path had been easy, but it had definitely been clear. She firmly believed that anything less than their bond would have broken with her insecurities, her need to destroy her own happiness. The thought brought a small smile to her lips and she saw the moment in his eyes when he found it too.

"What're you thinking about?" He asked softly, hesitant to push her too quickly.

"I'm thinking about the last time I was here. I guess it was the first step in coming back." Seeing his comprehension, she looked beyond him, thinking about how true her words really were.

"Can you believe I thought I was in love with Edward Cullen?" She chuckled, truly finding the thought amusing. Jasper however, still darkened when he thought about the few men that had come before in her life.

"Yeah, funny." He scowled, and she couldn't hold herself back as she stepped into him, her body pressing against his, her fingers twisting into the fabric at the top of his dress pants.

"Say it Bell," he commanded, his voice low and guttural.

Rubbing her nose against his throat, she lifted slightly making a path to his jaw and then his mouth. With only millimeters between them, she trailed her tongue over her own lips, catching his intentionally along the way.

"Say it." He demanded, his free hand whipping around and pressing her lower back into his body.

"I love you Jasper." She finally breathed out, and though she expected him to take her lips in his, he stepped back, a very pleased and victorious smile bringing his eyes to life.

"Hey!" She pouted, but he was already pulling her forward, bringing her towards the house allowing none of her previous hesitation.

She immediately sought out ancient familiarities and as both she and Jasper entertained certain pleasantries with other guests, she couldn't help but feel a little nostalgia.

"Hey, Whitlocks!" Emmett boomed out from across the room and Bella laughed in pleasure as several pairs of eyes looked their way, no doubt misinterpreting his choice of words. His huge frame parted the crowds like butter as he danced towards them, his whole demeanor full of animated energy.

"Hey baby Bell, glad to see your man managed to get you through the door. Hey, did you tell him about when you tried to pick me up all those years ago?" Emmett grinned and nodded overtly, knowing the story had been told many a time, mostly prompted by him.

"Yeah, I got it Em." Jasper said, his voice betraying a marked effort not to show any emotion. It didn't matter that it was ten years ago, or that Emmett was quite clearly gay, or that nothing had actually happened; the thought still managed to rile him every time.

"Too funny!" Emmett guffawed as he punched Jasper's shoulder. "When did you guys get in?" He asked, returning to safer pastures.

"A few hours ago, we're staying in a cabin out by La Push." Bella supplied, her easy knowledge of the area flowing.

"Emm… I have someone I want you to…. Oh! Hey Bella, Jasper." Seth stopped trying to pull Emmett away and instead looped his arm around his waist, steadying himself for a moment.

"Hey Seth." Bella said softly, one of her softest smiles coming out for the best employee she'd ever had.

"Have I told you recently how much I miss you?" Bella asked, even though she said the same thing each time they met, which happened to be more and more frequently of late.

"Yeah B, but you have a new bitch now." Seth teased, welcoming the way their relationship had relaxed since he'd been promoted, albeit to a competing publishing house.

"True." Bella surmised sadly, though she was truly glad that she had finally managed to help Seth reach something of his true potential, even if it had meant fraternizing with the enemy to make it happen.

"Have you seen Alice yet?" Seth asked quietly and Bella prevented her eyes from scanning the room, as was her natural instinct.

"Are they invited?" Jasper asked, his voice a little harder than Bella would have allowed with her own. She understood him though. While she wanted to hide from her past, Jasper wanted to stand against his. He wanted to fight with anything that hurt both him and her, separate and together, whether it went beyond what was deemed polite social behavior or not.

"Yeah, they've made quite the splash with Emm's mom, and of course she knew the Hales and Cullens from when you guys were in high school with Riley. It isn't going to be an issue is it?" Seth asked, and Bella could feel the stress he was exuding.

"Hey, of course it isn't. Seth, we're all here for you, nothing is going to ruin that. I promise." Speaking like the mature adult she sometimes was, Bella nudged her way into Jasper's side. Automatically he laid a light kiss on her temple as he wrapped his arm around her waist, while Emmett shot Bella a grateful grin. Seth had definitely turned out to be the more fraughtful of the two, but Emmett was fiercely protective, so Bella thought it all tended to work out in the end.

When the happy couple moved on to greet more guests, Bella and Jasper managed to linger on the peripheries, watching together as Leah bounced across the room as the usurper host to Mrs McCarty. It didn't take them long with their foreign wines clutched in their fingertips to find a swaying Paul, his eyes drawn down in a dark scowl.

"Paul?" Bella asked naively, her fingers wrapping around his broad shoulder.

"Hey!" He drawled, his eyes a little less than focused, especially for the hour.

"I think we need to get you out of here." Jasper surmised and Bella nodded her approval. The dinner portion of the night hadn't even come yet, but as they waved Leah over, it didn't seem of the upmost importance.

"Hey Lee, do you think you can make excuses on our behalf?" Bella asked with a whisper in her ear. One look over her shoulder to a stumbling Paul had her agreeing readily.

"Sure hun. I'll let Seth know, he'll understand." Throwing out her arms for a brief hug, Leah embraced her friend and then she was off again, never allowing herself to linger for long.

"Let's go." Bella hushed into Jasper's ear.

"What? No, no way man. You promised me girls!" Paul growled and Bella darted her eyes around to see if anyone else had caught Paul's outburst.

"How about we stop off for a drink on the way?" Bella offered to Paul's delight. It was enough to have him on his feet in seconds, his lazy eyes finding the doorway a few seconds later than they should have.

Stepping out into the icy air, Bella felt Jasper wrap himself around her a little tighter, but it wasn't long before they were in the car.

Shuffling into the beer scented atmosphere of the one roomed bar, Bella immediately threw her eyes over every patron, her eyes naturally lingering over the hunched man sitting solo by the bar. Nudging Jasper as Paul stepped up to place his order; his eyes met hers and then followed to the familiar frame.

"Cullen?" Paul cried jovially before either of them had their chance to confirm their suspicions and as a tousled head of slightly greying bronze hair lifted, Bella recognized just how cruel time could be. He was still handsome, but the capillaries around his cheeks had broken to make his previously understated nose look bulbous and angry. His eyes were the most shocking though, the ironic glint, the hint of sarcastic youth had been thoroughly eliminated, leaving behind something dark and desolate. Bella didn't want to admit to herself, but Edward Cullen looked broken, so broken that there was nothing satisfying to find in the once vibrant man.

"Hey…" Edward called out, his eyes noticeably unfocused and glassy. He didn't seem to recognize Paul at all, but as Bella stepped forward, his eyes slithered all over her body, sending a shiver of repulsion down her spine.

"Cullen!" Jasper greeted, stepping in front of Bella possessively and extending his hand. Bella could see the moment when familiarity hit and Edward began to cackle almost maniacally.

"Dude, I can't tell you how long I've waited to see your fucking face. Please tell me you're here to take that crazy bitch away!" Edward seemed to be running on a high and automatically Bella took the furthest seat from him, guarded between both Paul and Jasper.

"We're here for Seth and Emmett's wedding." Jasper supplied as he raised his hand to the bartender. Edward didn't miss a beat and scoffed loudly, his lips rising to produce an almighty sneer, as he looked them all over.

"Seriously? You're here for that fucking sideshow?" Turning back to his drink, Bella heard him mutter a few words that made her twist in disgust. This was not the Edward Cullen she had known, not the boy with so much potential; the one that she thought could set her world on fire.

"Fuck you man. Just cause your shit got all messed up…" Paul snarled into his drink and Bella grinned. Jasper placed a bottle of beer in front of her and dragged from his own, before turning to Edward.

"So, how's Rose?"

Edward's head whipped up, the speed surprising Bella as everything that had come before had been so slovenly.

"Why?" His eyes narrowed to something dangerous and to Bella it almost felt like she could see his body twisting up in preparation for an attack.

"What've you heard?" Edward asked defensively, his unsteady hand slopping liquid all over his trousers.

"We haven't heard anything." Bella threw in, trying to diffuse his growing anger.

"What, so you heard that everything got fucked up and you showed up in town to gloat? I heard what you did Bella; I heard that you threw yourself at Jasper just to break them up. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess right now." His words cut Bella short, a light gasp pulling from her lungs.

"Fuck this." Jasper hissed out and called the bartender over again. Bella couldn't hear any of the whispered words he spoke over the noise of the jukebox in the corner, but the next she knew he was handing over his credit card.

"Paul, we're leaving." Jasper said firmly, and Paul looked pointedly down at his barely touched beer before he caught the bottle of scotch in his friend's hands.

None of them bothered to offer Edward any parting pleasantries as they walked away, but Bella couldn't push the sullied image on his face from her mind as she wrapped her knees underneath her on the unfamiliar couch. Lifting a glass of amber liquid to her lips, she pressed her frame into Jasper's side when he took the seat next to hers.

"To fucking happy people." Paul snarled, holding his glass in the air before throwing it down his throat in one go. Bella felt a plethora of words form on her lips, but they all fell away as Jasper took the lead.

"For fucks sake, I've had enough of this. Just fucking call her, tell her you're a dick and ask her to marry you."

Paul stared forlornly into his empty glass, and where Bella expected to find malice, she only found desperation.

"She won't have me. Not after what happened."

Bella knew all about it, how Paul walked away when Rachel had laid an ultimatum at his feet. She didn't agree with the method, but she also understood her dilemma. Rachel was a few years older than herself and in her own mind she didn't have time to waste on a relationship that didn't have some progression to it. The problem was that her scare tactics had actually worked, sending a frightful Paul running for the hills.

"Do you love her?" Jasper asked rationally.

"Of course I fucking do." Paul responded as he splashed the scotch over the edge of his glass while attempting to pour himself anther glass.

"You want to grow old with her?" Jasper pushed, and Bella shrunk herself down, knowing she quite often shared Paul's reticence to hold a future up to her silhouette and throw a blade around the edges.

"Yeah, I fucking want everything with her." Paul groaned, his eyes heavy with emotion. The magnitude left a fog of subdued silence amongst them.

"Then call her." Bella finalized, her words barely above a whisper.

Paul's eyes lifted, meeting hers. He knew she'd often been an ally in his desertion, but now here she was standing up for the opposition. It was enough to stir his drunken brain into action and while it may not have been the right time or place, he found himself staggering to his room, ready to make a phone call that would change him forever.

"You know what you just did right?" Jasper asked, his fingers pulling out the pins which held her hair up. She welcomed the light touch, turning her head this way and that to help him. She didn't want to get into a heavy conversation of their own, so the moment he was done, she shook out her hair, letting the tendrils flow down her shoulders.

"Let's go to bed. We've got a big day tomorrow." Bella said softly as she rose to her feet, holding her hand out for Jasper to take.

They held each other close during the night and when day broke with their limbs wrapped up together, Bella found her eyes fluttering open far earlier than she had hoped. The whole weekend was turning into a psychological test she deduced as she watched Jasper's eyelashes flickering infinitesimally against his cheeks; his body reacting to a deep dream. She knew there was pressure on them to take their relationship to a more committed level, but Bella was utterly content with what she had.

It had taken a year of almost constant persuasion for her to sell her apartment and what had once been a place in the city and an exclusive house up north, became a home for the both of them, a shared space that they poured new memories into every day. It had been such a huge step for her and he had held her fragility at every step, recognizing that each time they moved on to something new, it was utterly new for her and not just new again, as it was for him.

"Are you going to watch me all morning, or were you thinking about cooking for me anytime soon?" His eyes remained closed as he spoke, but his fingers traced indecently across her almost naked body.

"Any requests?" She asked innocently, and he opened one eye to assess what exactly the rouse might be.

"Pancakes?" He asked, thinking she would scoff and tell him to make them himself. Instead, she kissed him softly and stood, throwing his shirt over her bare shoulders and buttoning just enough buttons to be decent.

The kitchen was silent of life, but she found everything she needed easily. Leah, as always, had planned ahead, stocking the cupboards full of mostly unnecessary groceries. She quickly set to work and though she'd only intended to make enough for herself and Jasper, it was amazing what the scent of morning food could do in cramped living quarters.

"B… pancakes? Have I told you lately how much I love you?" Leah gushed as she appeared, tying her thigh high silk robe, looking like perfection even though she'd clearly just woken up.

"Pancakes?" Paul shouted from his room, and not moments later he padded out, his dark hair thrown up in all directions.

Nodding to both of them as they sat like eager children at the breakfast bar, she heaped a stack onto each of their plates. Eventually she relented and called to Jasper when she knew there was a chance he might lose out if he didn't make a physical appearance.

"Hey sleeping beauty. Damn, did you know your woman can cook?" Paul gushed, his mood noticeably lighter from the night before.

"I sure did." Jasper murmured as her drew up behind her, his lips catching the exposed nape of her neck in a kiss.

"So, you want to tell us what the fuck happened after you took off last night?" Jasper asked as he forked a piece of pancake from a nearby plate, not caring whether they were his or not.

"What? Hold on, someone needs to fill me in on what you're talking about!" Leah pouted, her eyes automatically falling to Paul, who she knew was the weak link when it came to her manipulations.

"Not much to tell, little Lee. We skipped out of the party early and went to a bar in town, met up with Cullen, and I hope I'm not wrong in saying this, but he is one fucked up son of a bitch. Anyway, we came home and B set me straight…. So I called Rachel." Paul looked sheepishly at Leah, which really was a pointless reaction. As soon as she calculated everything he said, she pounced on him.

"And? You can't just leave that shit there Paul. What did you say?"

Bella thought that Leah looked like a feral animal ready to pounce as she waited for Paul's response.

"And I asked her to marry me." Paul shrugged, even though the action was mostly for his audience. As soon as he heard Leah's shrieks of delight, he allowed the self-satisfied grin to overtake him, clasping hands with Jasper in joy.

"Congratulations man." Jasper nodded, knowing intrinsically from his friend's demeanor that Rachel had said yes, not that there was any doubt.

"Finally. Now we just need to work on these two." Leah grinned conspiratorially and Bella rolled her eyes dramatically. It was a topic of conversation that came up each and every time she saw Leah, so she felt no pressure to actually respond seriously.

The happy mood was contagious and now that no one had to contend with a melancholy Paul, the air shifted to something far more pleasant. The morning flew by as a by-product and by the time they arrived at the nearby First Beach, Bella couldn't stop the smile that kept appearing on her lips.

She spotted quite a few familiar faces in the crowds, but none held the daunting appeal that she had built in her mind. It wasn't a traditional wedding in any sense of the word and as she and Jasper stepped down the aisle, leading the way in front of Leah and Riley, the best man and woman, she happily threw rose petals in the air.

Both Emmett and Seth looked exuberant as they walked down the sandy makeshift aisle together, their eyes filled with love and happiness. Bella had been to weddings before, but she had never felt so connected to the union, to the words they spoke as they pledged themselves to one another for the remainder of their existence.

Finally, when they were pronounced as one, Bella turned to Jasper, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. His hands held tighter to her waist and the kiss that he laid on her bare shoulder felt warmer than the ones that had come before.

"One day that's going to be you and me." He said softly in her ear, and she couldn't find the moment of absolute panic she normally found when he would sweetly utter those sorts of proclamations to her. She didn't have much time to dwell on the transformation of her thoughts though as a cheer went up in the air, her attention stolen by the enthusiastic grooms.

Stepping into the marquee erected on the McCarty's expansive back lawn, Bella passed her eyes appreciatively over the tiny flickering fairy lights, the soft billows of white fabric and the essence of purity that surrounded her. The room was dreamlike and she couldn't help but feel that the weight of her steps had softened simply by passing within the enchantment. A lively four piece band was playing on a small stage and when she turned to look at her companion, she could see he understood her intent.

Leading her directly to the dance floor, neither cared that they were the only ones dancing, their focus was solely trained on the one wrapped in their arms.

Bella laid her head easily on Jaspers shoulder, her body morphing itself intrinsically around his as he led her across the dance floor.

"May I interrupt?" Asked a voice and it had been such a long time, a lifetime it seemed, that Bella didn't even recognize her own father.

Lifting her head back, her eyes widened, lighting up with delight as she followed his snowy hair down to his crisp navy suit, his tie and top button already loosened. She didn't even notice when Jasper stepped aside, lifting her hand and placing it in Charlie's outstretched palm.

"Dad?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Bells." He replied, taking her in his arms. She couldn't remember the last time he had held her, the last time she had felt like his little girl. Silence enveloped them as he twirled her in his arms, the light touch of his movements surprising her.

"I'm glad you came." He said as the song broke, his body stepping back to finally break the magic as he cast a fatherly eye over her frame. She didn't know what words to say, so she nodded instead, trying not to ruin the moment.

"I'm proud of you Bells." Charlie said softly, and as Bella tried to open her mouth and reciprocate, the magnitude of his words swept over her. A sheen of unshed tears covered her eyes and without word she stepped forward, throwing her arms around a father she had discarded so many years ago.

Finally pulling away, she felt another pair of arms encircle her waist. "Jasper, it's good to see you." Charlie greeted, his hand reaching out politely. Bella was stunned as she had expected some parental reciprocity for her wayward choices.

"How's Alice?" Jasper asked for the both of them, even if Bella wasn't sure the question needed to be spoken.

Charlie seemed to really consider his words before he spoke and Bella appreciated that he hadn't simply fobbed them off with a perfunctory answer.

"Right now, she's good. I make sure to see her and little Poppy every week, just to keep an eye on how she's coping. I tried to get her to move in with me, but she wasn't having any of it, convinced in that mind of hers that everything is working out fine with her and that Cullen boy." Stopping to sigh, a frown covering his brow, Bella couldn't help but see how time had affected him. "Anyway, she was going to come today, but I told her it wasn't a good idea. She always did want to be the center of attention and sometimes she just needs a little nudge to see things the way they should be. I don't think it would hurt for you to stop by and see her though, at least to see her little girl."

Charlie didn't linger, neither did he press the issue and after one last prolonged embrace, he was gone leaving Bella and Jasper behind to think about his words.

"Do you want to see her?" Jasper asked finally, breaking their impasse.

Thinking steadily to herself, Bella leant back into his arms, letting the choices of life flow through her mind.

"You know what?" She asked, not waiting for an answer. "I really don't."

* * *

**a/n: Okay, that's it folks, the end. I'm probably going to go on a bit here, so feel free to ignore me. :) Firstly a huge big thanks to my lovely beta Twiticulate, she first joined me in this fic and I really have to say how wonderful she's been, so wonderful in fact that she agreed to work on When Darkness Falls with me... yey! Another thanks to my pre-reader Liamsgurl33 - you rock hun. **

**Now about the story - I know some of you will probably feel like I didn't give Alice/Rosalie the ending they deserved, but for me this story was all about B growing up, moving on with her life, and of course snagging a yummy Mr. Whitlock along the way. It's also not the wedding I imagine you expected either, but I love Emmett and Seth together and I don't think B would rush into anything like marriage after her past. My lovely beta pointed out that marriage might not even be legal in Washington state for these two guys, but I didn't even bother to fact check, because whether or not it is, IT SHOULD BE!  
**

**Thanks to all of you who followed along with this fic and a extra big thanks to those who left a little love behind along the way... it really does mean the world to know that it isn't just me, Twiticulate and Liamsgurl33 here at the end. I hope to see you all again in future fics... **

**And that's it - enough rambling from me.**

**with love **

**LVNx**


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